श्रीकांत उपन्यास भाग-14

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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sandhya to ho aee, par rat ke andhakar ke ghor hone mean ab bhi kuchh vilamb tha. isi tho de se samay ke bhitar kisi bhi tarah se ho, koee n koee thaur-thikana karana hi p dega. yah kam mere lie koee naya bhi n tha, aur kathin hone ke karan maian isase dara bhi nahian hooan. parantu, aj us am-bag ke bagal se pagadandi pak d ke jab dhire-dhire age badhane laga to n jane kaisi ek udvign lajja se mera man bhitar se bhar ane laga. bharat ke anyany prantoan ke sath kisi samay ghanishth parichay tha; kintu, abhi jis marg se chal raha hooan, vah to bangal ke radh-desh ka marg hai. isake bare mean to meri kuchh bhi janakari nahian hai. magar yah bat yad nahian aee ki sabhi desh-pradeshoan ke bare mean shuroo-shuroo mean aisa hi anabhijn tha, aur jnan jo kuchh prapt kiya hai vah isi tarah apane ap arjan karana p da hai, doosare kisi ne nahian kara diya.

asal mean, kisalie us din mere lie sarvatr dvar khule hue the, aur aj, sankoch aur duvidha se ve sab band se ho gaye, is bat par maianne vichar hi nahian kiya. us din ke us jane mean kritrimata nahian thi; magar aj jo kuchh kar raha hooan, yah to us din ki sirph nakal hai. us din bahar ke aparichit hi the mere param atmiy-un par apana bhar dalane mean tab kisi tarah ki hichakichahat nahian aee; par vahi bhar aj vyakti-vishesh par ekant roop se p d jane se sara ka sara bhar-kendr hi anyatr hat gaya hai. isi se aj anajan aparichitoan ke bich mean se chalane mean mere har qadam par uttarottar bhari hote chale ja rahe haian. un dinoan ki un sab sukh-du:kh ki dharanaoan se aj ki dharana mean kitana bhed hai, koee thik hai! phir bhi chalane laga. ab to mere andar is jangal mean rat bitane ka n sahas hi raha, aur n shakti hi baki rahi. aj ke lie koee ashray to dhooandh nikalana hi hoga.

takadir achchhi thi, zyada door n chalana p da. pe d ke ghane pattoan mean se koee ek pakka makan-sa dikhaee diya. tho di door ghoomakar maian us makan ke samane pahuanch gaya.

tha to pakka makan, par maloom hua ki ab usamean koee rahata nahian. samane lohe ka get tha, par toota hua- usaki adhikaansh chh dean log nikal le gaye haian. maian bhitar ghus gaya. khula hua baramada hai, b de-b de do kamare haian, ek band hai, aur doosara jo khula hai, usake daravaze ke pas pahuanchate hi usamean se ek kankal-sa adami nikalakar mere samane a kh da hua. dekha ki us kamare ke charoan konoan mean char lohe ke get haian, kisi din usamean gadde bichhe rahate the, parantu kalakram se ab unake oopar ka tat tak lupt ho gaya hai. baki bachi haian sirph nariyal ki jataean, so bhi bahut kam. ek tipaee hai, kul tin aur kalee ke baratan haian, jinaki shobha aur maujooda halat varnan ke bahar pahuanch chuki hai. jo anuman ki thi vahi bat hai. yah makan aspatal hai. yah adami paradeshi hai. naukari karane aya tha so bimar p d gaya hai. pandrah din se vah yahaan ka indor peshent haian. us bhale adami se jo batachit huee usaka ek chitr niche diya jata hai-

"baboo sahab, charek paisa deange?"

"kyoan, kisalie?"

"bhookh ke mare mara jata hooan babooji, kuchh chabena-avena kharid ke khana chahata hooan."

maianne poochha, "tum mariz adami ho, aant-sant khane ki tumhean manaee nahian hai?"

"ji nahian."

"yahaan se tumhean khane ko nahian milata?"

usane jo kuchh kaha, usaka sar yah hai- sabere ek katora saboo die gaye the, so kabhi ke kha chuka. tab se vah get ke pas baitha rahata hai- bhikh mean kuchh mil jata hai to sham ko pet bhar leta hai, nahian to upas karake rat kat deta hai. ek d aauktar bhi haian, shayad unhean bahut hi tho da hath-kharch ke lie kul mila karata hai. sabere ek bar matr unake darshan hote haian. aur ek adami mukarrar hai, use kampaundari se lekar lalaten mean tel bharane tak ka sabhi kam karana p data hai. pahale ek naukar tha, par idhar chhah-sat mahine se tanakha n milane ke karan vah bhi chala gaya hai. abhi tak koee naya adami bharati nahian hua.

maianne poochha, "jha du-a du kaun lagata hai?"

usane kaha, "ajakal to maian hi lagata hooan. mere chale jane par phir jo naya rogi ayega vah lagayaga- aur kaun lagayaga?"

maianne kaha, "achchha intazam hai! aspatal yah hai kisaka, janate ho?"

vah bhala adami mujhe us taraph ke baramade mean le gaya. chhat ki k di mean lage hue tar se ek tin ki lalaten latak rahi thi. kampaundar sahab us sidause hi jalakar kam khatm karake apane ghar chale gaye haian. divar mean ek b da bhari patthar j da hua hai, jisapar sunahari aangareji haroophoan mean oopar se niche tak sanh aangareji tarikh adi khude hue haian- yani poora shilalekh hai. zile ke jin sahab majistret ne aparisim daya se prerit hokar isaka shilaropan ya dvaroddhatan sampann kiya tha, sabase pahale unaka nam-dham hai, aur sabase niche hai prashasti-path. kisi ek rav bahadur ne apani ratnagarbha mata ki smriti-raksharth janani-janmabhoomi par is aspatal ki pratishtha karaee hai. isamean sirph mata-putr ka hi varnan nahian balki oodharvatan tin-char pidhiyoan ka bhi poora vivaran hai. agar ise chhoti kul-karika kaha jay, to shayad atyukti n hogi. isake pratishthata mahoday raj-sarakar ki rayabahaduri ke yogy purush the, isamean leshamatr bhi sandeh nahian. karan rupaye barabad karane ki or se unhoanne koee truti nahian ki. eeant aur kath tatha vilayati lohe ke bil chukane ke bad agar kuchh baki bacha hoga, to vah sahab-shilpakaroan ke hath se vang-gaurav likhavane mean hi samapt ho gaya hoga. d aauktar aur marijoan ke aushadhi‍-pathyadi ki vyavastha karane ke lie shayad rupaye bhi n bache hoange aur phurasat bhi n huee hogi.

maianne poochha, "rayabahadur rahate kahaan haian?"

usane kaha, "zyada door nahian, pas hi rahate haian."

"abhi jane se mulakat hogi?"

"ji nahian, ghar par tala laga hoga, ghar ke sabake sab kalakatte rahate haian."

maianne poochha, "kab aya karate haian, janate ho?"

asal mean vah paradeshi hai, thik-thik hal nahian bata saka. phir bhi bola ki tinek sal pahale ek bar ae the- d aauktar ke muanh suna tha usane. sarvatr ek hi dasha hai, atev du:khit hone ki koee khas bat nahian thi.

idhar aparichit sthan mean sandhyai biti ja rahi thi aur aandhera badh raha tha; lihaza, rayabahadur ke kary-kalapoan ki paryalochana karane ki apeksha aur bhi zaroori kam karana baki tha. us adami ko kuchh paise dekar maloom kiya ki pas hi chakravartiyoan ka ek ghar maujood hai. ve atyant dayalu haian, unake yahaan kam-se-kam rat bhar ke lie ashray to mil hi jayega. vah khud hi raji hokar mujhe apane sath vahaan le chala; bola, "mujhe modi ki dukan par to jana hi hai, jara-sa ghoomakar apako pahuancha dooanga, koee bat nahian."

chalate-chalate batachit se samajh gaya ki ukt dayalu brahman-parivar se usane bhi kitani hi sham pathyapathy sangrah karake guptaroop se pet bhara hai.

dasek minat paidal chalakar chakravarti ki bahar vali baithak mean pahuanch gaya. mere path-pradarshak ne avaz di, "panditaji ghar par haian?"

koee javab nahian mila. soch raha tha, kisi sampann brahman ke ghar atithy grahan karane ja raha hooan; parantu, ghar-dvar ki shobha dekhakar mera man baith-sa gaya. udhar se koee javab nahian, aur idhar se mere sathi ke aparajey adhh‍yavasay ka koee ant nahian. anyatha yah gaanv aur yah aspatal bahut din pahale hi usaki rugn atma ko svargiy banakar chho data. vah avaz par avaz lagata hi raha.

sahasa javab aya, "ja ja, aj ja. ja, kahata hooan."

mera sathi kisi bhi tarah vichalit nahian hua, bola, "kaun aye haian, nikal ke dekhie to sahi."

parantu maian vichalit ho utha. mano chakravarti ka param-poojy gurudev ghar pavitr karane akasmath avirbhoot hua ho.

nepathy ka kanth-svar kshan mean mulayam ho utha, "kaun hai re bhima?"

yah kahate hue ghar-malik daravaze ke pas aye dikhaee diye. maili dhoti pahane hue the, so bhi bahut chhoti. andhakarapray sandhyaan ki chhaya mean unaki umar maian n koot saka, magar bahut zyada to nahian maloom huee. phir unhoanne poochha, "kaun hai re bhima?"

samajh gaya ki mere sangi ka nam bhim hai. bhim ne kaha, "bhale adami haian, brahman maharaj haian. rasta bhoolakar aspatal mean pahuanch gaye the. maianne kaha, "darate kyoan haian, chalie, maian panditaji ke yahaan pahuanchae deta hooan, guru ki si khatiradari mean rahiega."

vastav mean bhim ne atishayokti nahian ki, chakravarti mahashay ne mujhe param samadar ke sath grahan kiya. apane hath se chataee bichhakar baithane ke lie kaha, aur tamakhoo pita hooan ya nahian, poochhakar bhitar jakar ve khud hi huqqa bhar laye.

bole, "naukar-chakar sab bukhar mean p de haian- kya kiya jay!"

sunakar maian atyant kunthit ho utha. socha, ek chakravarti ke ghar se nikalakar doosare chakravarti ke ghar a phansa. kaun janean, yahaan ka atithy kaisa roop dharan karega. phir bhi huqqa hath mean pakar pine ki taiyari kar hi raha tha ki itane mean sahasa bhitar se ek tikshn kanth ka prashn aya, "kyoan ji, kaun adami aya hai?"

anuman kiya ki yahi ghar ki grihini haian. javab dene mean sirph chakravarti ka hi gala nahian kaanpa, mera hriday bhi kaanp utha.

unhoanne jhatapat kaha, "b de bhari adami haian ji, b de bhari adami. brahman haian- narayan. rasta bhoolakar a p de haian- sirph ratabhar raheange- bhor hone ke pahale, t dake hi chale jaanyage."

bhitar se javab aya, "haan haan, sabhi koee ate haian rasta bhoolakar. muanhajale atithiyoan ka to naga hi nahian. ghar mean n to ek mutthi chaval hai, n dal-khilaooangi kya choolhe ki bhoobh d?"

mere hath ka huqqa hath mean hi rah gaya. chakravartiji ne kaha, "oho, tum yah sab kya baka karati ho! mere ghar mean dal-chaval ki kami! chalo chalo, bhitar chalo, sab thik kiye deta hooan."

chakravarti-grihini bhitar chalane ke lie bahar nahian aee thian. bolian, "kya thik kar doge, sunooan to sahi? sirph mutthibhar chaval hai, so bachchoan ke pet mean bhi to raandhakar dalana hai. un becharoan ko upas rakhakar maian use lilane dooangi? isaka khayal bhi n lana."

mata dharitri, phat ja, phat ja! 'nahian-nahian' kahake n-jane kya kahana chahata tha parantu chakravarti ji ke vipul krodh mean vah n jane kahaan bah gaya. unhoanne 'tum' chho dakar phir 'too' kahana shuroo kiya. aur atithi-satkar ke vishay ko lekar pati-patni mean jo vartalap shuroo hua, usaki bhasha jaisi thi, gambhirata bhi vaisi hi thi- usaki upama nahian mil sakati. maian rupaye lekar nahian nikala tha- jeb mean jo tho de-se paise p de the, ve bhi kharch ho chuke the. kurate mean sone ke batan alabatta the. par vahaan kaun kisaki sunata hai! vyakul hokar ek bar uthake kh de hone ki koshish karane par chakravartiji ne zor se mera hath pak d liya aur kaha, "ap atithi-narayan haian. vimukh hokar chale jaanyage to maian gale mean phaansi laga looanga."

grihini isase ranchamatr bhi bhayabhit nahian huee, usi vakt chailedbaj eksept karake bolian, "tab to ji jaooan. bhikh maang-mooangakar apane bachchoan ka pet bhar sakooangi."

idhar meri lagabhag hitahit-jnan-shoony hone ki naubat a pahuanchi thi; maian sahasa kah baitha, "chakravartiji, se n ho to aur kisi din soch-vichar kar dhire suste lagaiega- lagana hi achchha hai- magar, philahal ya to mujhe chho d dijie, aur n ho to mujhe bhi ek phaansi ki rassi de dijie, usamean latakakar apako is atithy-day se mukt kar dooan."

chakravartiji ne ant:pur ki taraph lakshy karake zor se chillakar kaha, "ab kuchh shiksha huee? poochhata hooan, sikha kuchh?"

javab aya, "haan."

aur kuchh hi kshan bad bhitar se sirph ek hath bahar nikal aya. usane dhamm se ek pital ka kalasa zamin par dhar diya, aur sath-hi-sath adesh diya, "jao, shrimant ki dukan se, ise rakhakar, dal-chaval-ghi-namak le ao. jao. dekhana kahian vah hath mean pakar sab paise n kat le."

chakravarti khush ho uthe. bole, "are, nahian, nahian, yah kya bachche ke hath ka ladua hai?"

chat se huqqa uthakar do-char bar dhuaauan khianchane ke bad ve bole, "ag bujh gayi. sunati ho ji, jara chilam to badal do, ek bar pikar hi jaooan. gaya aur aya, der n hogi."

yah kahate hue unhoanne chilam hath mean lekar bhitar ki or badha di.

bas, pati-patni mean sandhi ho gayi. grihini ne chilam bhar di, aur patidev ne ji bharake huqqa piya. phir ve prasann chitt se huqqa mere hath mean thamakar kalasa lekar bahar chale gaye.

chaval ayi, dal ayi, ghi aya, namak aya, aur yathasamay rasoeeghar mean meri pukar huee. bhojan mean ranchamatr bhi ruchi nahian thi, phir bhi chupachap uthakar us or chal diya. karan, apatti karana sirph nishphal hi nahian balki 'na' kahane mean khatare ki bhi ashanka huee. is jivan mean bahut bar bahut jagah mujhe bin-maange atithy svikar karana p da hai. sarvatr hi mera samadar hua hai yah kahana to jhooth hoga; parantu, aisa svagat bhi kabhi mere bhagy mean nahian juta tha. magar abhi to bahut sikhana baki tha. jakar dekha ki choolha jal raha hai, aur vahaan bhojan ke badale kele ke pattoan par chaval-dal-aloo aur ek pital ki han diya rakkhi hai.

chakravarti ne b de utsah ke sath kaha, "bas chadha dijie han diya, chatapat ho jayega sab. masoor ki khich di, aloo-bhat hai hi, maje ki hogi khane mean. ghi hai hi, garam-garam."

chakravarti mahashay ki rasana saras ho uthi. parantu mere lie yah ghatana aur bhi jatil ho gayi. maianne, is dar se ki meri kisi bat ya kam se phir kahian koee pralay-kand n uth kh da ho, turant hi unake nirdeshanusar han diya chadha di. chakravarti-grihini nepathy mean chhipi kh di thian. stri ki aauankhoan se mere apatu hathoan ka parichay chhipa n raha. ab to unhoanne mujhe hi lakshy karake kahana shuroo kiya. unamean aur chahe jo bhi dosh ho, sankoch ya aauankhoan ka lihaz adi ka atibahuly-dosh nahian tha, is bat ko shayad b de se b da nindakari bhi svikar kiye bina n rah sakega. unhoanne kaha, "tum to beta, raandhana janate hi nahian."

maianne usi vakt unaki bat man li, aur kaha, "ji nahian."

unhoanne kaha, "ve kah rahe the, paradesi adami haian, kaun janega ki kisane raandha aur kisane khaya! maianne kaha, so nahian ho sakata, ek rat ke lie mutthibhar bhat khilakar maian adami ki jat nahian biga d sakati. mere bap agradani brahman haian."

meri himmat hi n huee ki kah dooan ki mujhe isamean koee apatti nahian, balki isase bhi badhakar b de-b de pap maian isake pahale hi kar chuka hooan- kyoanki dar tha ki isase bhi kahian koee upadrav n uth kh da ho. man mean sirph ek hi chinta thi ki kis tarah rat bitegi aur kaise is ghar ke nagapash se chhutakara milega. lihaza, unake nirdeshanusar khich di bhi banaee aur usaka pind-sa banakar ghi dalakar- us tohaphe ko lilane ki koshish bhi ki. is asadhyar ko maianne kis tarah sadhye ya sampann kiya, so aj bhi mujhase chhipa nahian hai. bar-bar yahi maloom hone laga ki vah chaval-dal ka pindakar tohapha pet ke bhitar jakar patthar ka pind ban gaya hai.

adhh‍yavasay se bahut kuchh ho sakata hai. parantu usaki bhi ek had hai. hath-muanh dhone ka bhi avasar n mila, sab bahar nikal gaya! mare dar ke meri sitti gum ho gayi; kyoanki, use mujhe hi saf karana p dega, isamean to koee shak nahian. magar utani takat bhi ab n rah gayi. aauankhoan ki drishti dhuandhali ho ayi. kisi tarah maian itana kah saka, "char-chhah minat mean apane ko sanbhale leta hooan, phir sab saf kar dooanga."

socha tha ki javab mean n jane kya-kya sunana p dega. magar ashchary hai ki us mahila ka bhayanak kanth-svar akasmath hi komal ho gaya. ve aandhere mean se nikalakar mere samane a gayian. bolian, "tum kyoan saf karoge beta, maian hi sab kiye deti hooan. bahar ke bichhauna to abhi kar nahian paee, tab tak chalo tum, meri hi kothari mean chalakar let raho."

'na' kahane ka samarthy mujhamean n tha. isalie, chupachap unake pichhe pichhe jakar, unhian ki shatachhinn shayya par aauankh mianchakar p d raha.

bahut aber mean jab niand khuli, tab aise zor se bukhar chadh raha tha ki mujhamean sir uthane ki bhi shakti n thi. sahaj mean meri aauankhoan se aauansoo nahian girate, par aj, yah sochakar ki itane b de aparadh ki ab kis tarah javabadehi karooanga, khalis aur niravachhinn atank se hi meri aauankhean bhar ayian. maloom hua ki bahut bar bahut-si niruddesh yatraean maianne ki haian, parantu itani b di vidambana jagadishvar ne aur kabhi mere bhagy mean nahian likhi. aur phir ek bar maianne ji-jan se uthane ki koshish ki, kintu kisi tarah sir sidha n kar saka aur ant mean aauankh mianchakar p d raha.

aj chakravarti-grihini se roo-b-roo batachit huee. shayad atyant du:kh mean se hi nariyoan ka sachcha aur gahara parichay mila karata hai. unhean pahichan lene ki aisi kasauti bhi aur kuchh nahian ho sakati, aur purush ke pas unaka hriday jitane ke lie itana b da astr bhi aur koee nahian hoga.

mere bichhaune ke pas akar ve bolian, "niand khuli beta?"

maianne aauankhean kholakar dekha. unaki umar shayad chalis ke lagabhag hogi- kuchh zyada bhi ho sakati hai. rang kala hai, par nak-aauankh sadharan bhadr-grihasth-ghar ki striyoan ke saman hi haian, kahian bhi kuchh rookhapan nahian, kuchh hai to sirph sarvaangavyapi gambhir daridy aur anashan ke chihn-drishti p date hi yah bat maloom ho jati hai.

unhoanne phir poochha, "aandhere mean dikhaee nahian deta beta, par, mera b da l daka jita rahata to tum-sa hi b da hota."

isaka kya uttar dooan? unhoanne chat se mere mathe par hath rakhakar kaha, "bukhar to ab bhi khoob hai."

maianne aauankhean mianch li thian. aauankhean mianche hi mianche kaha, "koee jara sahara de de, to shayad, aspatal tak pahuanch jaooanga- koee zyada door tho de hi hai."

maian unaka chehara to n dekh saka, par itana to samajh gaya ki meri bat se unaka kanthasvar mano vedana se bhar aya. bolian, "du:kh ki jalan se kal kee ek batean muanh se nikal gayi haian, isi se, beta, gussa hokar us jamapuri mean jana chahate ho? aur tum jana bhi chahoge to maian jane kab dooangi?" itana kahakar ve kuchh der tak chupachap baithi rahian, phir dhire se bolian, "rogi se niyam nahian banata beta, dekho n, jo log aspatal mean jakar rahate haian, unhean vahaan kis-kisaka chhua hua nahian khana p data hai, batao? par usase jat tho de hi jati hai. maian saboo barli banakar dooan, to tum n khaoge?"

maianne garadan hilakar jataya ki isamean mujhe ranchamatr bhi apatti nahian aur sirph bimar hooan isalie nahian, atyant nirog avastha mean bhi mujhe isase koee parahej nahian.

atev, vahian rah gaya. kul milakar shayad charek din raha. phir bhi un char dinoan ki smriti sahaj mean bhoolane ki nahian. bukhar ek hi din mean utar gaya, par baki dinoan mean, kamazor hone ke karan, unhoanne mujhe vahaan se hilane bhi n diya. kaise bhayanak daridray mean is brahman-parivar ke din kat rahe haian, aur us durgati ko bina kisi kusoor ke hajar-guna k dagha kar rakkha hai samaj ke arthahin pi dan ne. chakravarti-grihini apani avishrant mehanat ke bhitar se bhi jara si phurasat pane par, mere pas akar baith jati thian. sir aur mathe par hath pher deti thian. taiyariyoan ke sath rog ka pathy n juta sakati thian, par us truti ko apane vyavahar aur jatan se poora kar dene ke lie kaisi ekagr cheshta unamean pata tha.

pahale inaki avastha kamachalaoo achchhi thi. zamin-jayadad bhi aisi kuchh buri nahian thi. parantu, unake alpabuddhi pati ko logoan ne dhokha de-dekar aj unhean aise du:kh mean dal diya hai. ve akar rupaye udhar maangate the; kahate the- haian to yahaan bahut-se b de adami, par kitanoan ki chhati par itane bal haian? lihaza chhati ke un baloan ka parichay dene ke lie karz karake karz diya karate the. pahale to hath chitthi likhakar aur bad mean stri se chhipakar zamin gahane rakhakar karz dene lage. natija adhikaansh sthaloan par jaisa hota hai, yahaan bhi vaisi hi hua.

yah kukary chakravarti ke lie asadhyh nahian, is bat par mujhe, ek hi rat ki abhijnata se, poora vishvas ho gaya. buddhi ke dosh se dhan-sampatti bahutoan ki nasht ho jati hai, usaka parinam bhi atyant du:khamay hota hai, parantu yah du:kh samaj ki anavashyak aur andhi nishthurata se kitana zyada badh sakata hai, isaka mujhe chakravarti-grihini ki pratyek bat se, nas-nas mean, anubhav ho gaya. unake yahaan sirph do sone ki kothariyaan haian, ek mean l dake-bachche rahate haian aur doosari par bilkuyal aur bahar ka adami hote hue bhi maianne dakhal jama liya. isase mere sankoch ki sima n rahi. maianne kaha, "aj to mera bukhar utar gaya hai aur ap logoan ko bhi b di takaliph ho rahi hai. agar bahar vali baithak mean mera bistar kar dean, to mujhe bahut santosh ho."

grihini ne garadan hilakar javab diya, "so kaise ho sakata hai beta! badal ghir rahe haian, agar varsha huee to us kamare mean aisi jagah hi n rahegi jahaan sir bhi rakha ja sake. tum abhi kamazor thahare, itana sahas to mujhase n hoga."

unake aauangan mean ek taraph kuchh pual p da tha, us par maianne gaur kiya tha. usi ki taraph ishara karake maianne poochha, "pahale se marammat kyoan nahian kara li? aauandhi-meh ke din to a bhi gaye."

isake uttar mean maloom hua ki marammat karana koee asan bat nahian. patit brahman hone se idhar ka koee kisan-majoor unaka kam nahian karata. an gaanv mean jo musalaman kam karane vale haian, ve hi ghar chha jate haian. kisi bhi karan se ho, is sal ve a nahian sake. isi prasang mean ve sahasa ro p dian, boli, "beta, ham logoan ke du:kh ka kya koee ant hai? us sal meri sat-ath sal ki l daki achanak haije mean mar gayi; pooja ke din the, mere bhiya gaye the kashiji ghoomane, so aur koee adami n milane se chhote l dake ke sath akele inhian ko masan jana p da. so bhi kya kiriya-karam thik se ho saka? lak di tak kisi ne katane n di. bap hokar gandha khod ke ga d-goo dakar inhean ghar laut ana p da." kahate-kahate unaka daba hua purana shok ekabaragi naya hokar dikhaee de gaya. aauankhean poanchhati huee jo kuchh kahane lagian, usamean mukhy shikayat yah thi ki unake purakhoan mean kisi samay kisi ne shraddh ka dan grahan kiya tha- bas yahi kasoor ho gaya- aur shraddh to hindoo ka avashy karttavy hai, koee to usaka dan lega hi, nahian to vah shraddh hi asiddh aur nishphal ho jayega. phir dosh isamean kahaan hai? aur dosh agar ho hi, to adami ko lobh mean phansakar us kam mean pravritt hi kyoan kiya jata hai?

in prashnoan ka uttar dena jitana kathin hai, itane dinoan bad is bat ka pata lagana bhi du:sadhyan hai ki un purakhoan ki kis dushkriti ke dandasvaroop unake vanshadharoan ko aisi vidambana sahani p d rahi hai. shraddh ka dan lena achchha hai ya bura, so maian nahian janata. bura hone par bhi yah bat sach hai ki vyaktigat roop se is kam ko ve nahian karate, isalie ve niraparadh haian. afasos to is bat ka hai ki manushy, p dosi hokar, apane doosare p dosi ki jivan-yatra ka marg, bina kisi dosh ke, itana durgam aur du:khamay bana de sakata hai, aisi hridayahin nirday barbarata ka udaharan duniya mean shayad sirph hindoo samaj ke siva aur kahian n milega.

unhoanne phir kaha, "is gaanv mean adami zyada nahian haian, maleriya bukhar aur haije se adhe mar gaye haian. ab sirph brahman, kayasth aur rajapootoan ke ghar bache haian. ham log to lachar haian beta, nahian to ji chahata hai ki kahian kisi musalamanoan ke gaanv mean ja rahean."

maianne kaha, "magar vahaan to jat ja sakati hai?"

unhoanne is prashn ka thik javab nahian diya, bolian, "nate mean mere ek chachiya-sasur lagate haian, ve dumaka gaye the, naukari karane, so eesaee ho gaye the. unhean ab koee takaliph nahian hai."

maian chup rah gaya. koee hindoo-dharm chho dakar doosara dharm grahan karane ko man hi man utsuk ho raha hai, yah sunakar mujhe b da du:kh hota hai. magar unhean santvana bhi dena chahooan to dooan kya kahakar? ab tak maian yahi samajhata tha ki sirph asprishy nich jatiyaan hi hindoo-samaj mean atyachar saha karati haian, magar aj samajha ki bacha koee bhi nahian hai. arthahin avivechan se paraspar ek-doosare ke jivan ko doobhar kar dalana hi mano is samaj ka majjagat sanskar hai. bad mean bahutoan se maianne poochha hai, aur bahutoan ne is bat ko svikar karate hue kaha hai, ki yah anyay hai, yah garhit hai, buri bat hai; phir bhi isake nirakaran ka ve koee bhi marg nahian batala pate. ve is anyay ke bich mean se janm se lekar maut tak chalane ke lie raji haian, par pratikar ki pravritti ya sahas- in donoan mean se koee bhi bat unamean nahian. janane-samajhane ke bad bhi anyay ke pratikar kar neki shakti jinamean se is tarah bila gayi hai, vah jati adhik dinoan tak kaise jivit rah sakati hai, yah soch-samajh sakana mushkil hi hai.

tin din ke bad, svasth hokar, maian jab sabere hi jane ko taiyar hua, to maianne kaha, "maan, aj mujhe vida dijie."

chakravarti-grihini ki donoan aauankhoan mean aauansoo bhar aye. kaha, "du:khiyoan ke ghar bahut du:kh paya beta, tumhean k daghee batean bhi kam sunani p dian."

is bat ka uttar dhooandhe n mila. "nahian, nahian so koee bat nahian- maian b de aram se raha, maian bahut kritajn hooan." ityadi mamooli sharaphat ki batean kahane mean bhi mujhe sharam hone lagi. vajranand ki bat yad ayi. usane ek din kaha tha, "ghar tyag ane se kya hota hai? is desh mean ghar maan-bahinean maujood haian, hamari majal kya hai ki ham unake akarshan se bachakar nikal jaany." bat asal mean kitani saty hai!

atyant garibi aur kamakl pati ke avicharit ramy ya ootapataang karyakalapoan ne is grihasth-ghar ki grihini ko lagabhag pagal bana diya hai, parantu jab unako anubhav hua ki maian bimar hooan, lachar hooan- tab to unake lie sochane ki koee bat hi nahian rah gayi. matritv ke simahin sneh se mere rog tatha paraye ghar thaharane ke sampoorn du:kh ko mano unhoanne apane donoan hathoan se ekabaragi poanchhakar alag kar diya.

chakravartiji koshish karake kahian se ek bailaga di juta laye. grihini ki b di bhari ichchha thi ki maian naha-dho aur kha-pikar jaooan, parantu dhoop aur garami badh jane ki ashanka se ve zyada anurodh n kar sakian. chalate samay sirph devi-devataoan ka nam-smaran karake aauankhean poanchhati huee bolian, "beta, yadi kabhi idhar ao, to ek bar yahaan zaroor ho ana ."

udhar jana bhi kabhi nahian hua, aur vahaan zaroor ho ana bhi mujhase n ban saka. bahut dinoan bad sirph itana suna ki rajalakshmi ne kushari mahashay ke hath se un logoan ka bahut-sa karja apane oopar le liya hai.

000

qarib tisare pahar gangamati, ghar par pahuancha. dvar ke donoan taraph kadalivriksh aur mangal-ghat sthapit the. oopar amr-pallavoan ke bandanavar latak rahe the. bahar bahut se log ikatthe baithe tamakhoo pi rahe the. bailaga di ki ahat se un logoan ne muanh uthakar dekha. shayad isi ke madhur shabd se akrisht hokar aur ek sahab akasmath samane a kh de hue- dekha to vajranand haian. unaka ullasit kalarav uddam ho utha, aur tab koee adami dau dakar bhitar khabar dene bhi chala gaya. svamiji kahane lage ki "maianne akar sab hal sabase kah sunaya hai. tabase barabar charoan taraph adami bhejakar tumhean dhooandha ja raha hai- ek or jaise koshish karane mean koee bat utha n rakhi gayi, vaise hi doosari or dushchinta ki bhi koee had nahian rahi. akhir majara kya tha? achanak kahaan dubaki laga gaye the, bataie to? ga divan chhokare ne to jakar kaha ki apako vah gangamati ke raste mean utarakar chala aya hai."

rajalakshmi kam mean vyast thi, usane akar pairoan ke age matha tekakar pranam kiya aur kaha, "ghar-bhar ko, sabako tumane kaisi k di saza di hai, kuchh kahane ki nahian." phir vajranand ko lakshy karake kaha, "mera man jan gaya tha ki aj ye ayeange hi."

maianne hansakar kaha, "dvar par kele ke thambh aur ghat-sthapana dekhakar hi maian samajh gaya ki mere ane ki khabar tumhean mil gayi hai." daravaze ki ot mean ratan akar kh da tha. vah chat se bol utha, "ji nahian, isalie nahian- aj ghar par brahman-bhojan hoga n, isilie. vakranath ke darshan kar ane ke bad se maan..."

rajalakshmi ne daant lagakar use jahaan ka tahaan rok diya, "ab vyakhya karane ki zaroorat nahian, too ja, apana kam dekh."

usake surkh chehare ki taraph dekhakar vajranand hans diya, bola, "samajhe nahian bhaee sahab, kisi bhi kam mean lage rahane se man ki utkantha bahut badh jati hai. sahi nahian jati. yah brahman-bhojan ka ayojan sirph isilie hai. kyoan jiji, hai n yahi bat?"

rajalakshmi ne koee javab nahian diya, "vah gussa hokar vahaan se chal di. vajranand ne poochha, "b de dubale-se maloom p date ho bhaee sahab, is bich mean kya bat ho gayi thi, bataie to? ghar n akar achanak gayab kyoan ho gaye the?"

gayab hone ka karan vistar ke sath suna diya. sunakar anand ne kaha, "bhavishy mean ab kabhi is tarah n bhagiyega. kis tarah inake din kate haian, so aauankh se dekhe bagair vishvas nahian kiya ja sakata."

yah maian janata tha. lihaza, aauankhoan se bina dekhe hi maianne vishvas kar liya. ratan chay aur huqqa de gaya. anand ne kaha, "maian bhi bahar jata hooan bhaee sahab. is vakt apake pas baithe rahane se koee ek jani shayad is janam mean mera muanh n dekheangi." yah kahakar hansate hue unhoanne prasthan kiya.

kuchh der bad rajalakshmi ne pravesh karake atyant svabhavik bhav se kaha, "us kamare mean garam pani, aangauchha, dhoti, sab rakh aee hooan- sirph sir aur deh aangauchhakar kap de badal dalo jakar. bukhar mean, khabaradar, sir par pani n dal lena, kahe deti hooan."

maianne kaha, "magar svamiji se tumane galat bat suni hai; bukhar mujhe nahian hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "nahian hai to n sahi, par hone mean der kitani lagati hai?"

maianne kaha, "isaki khabar to tumhean thik de nahian sakata, par mare garmi ke mera to sara sharir jala ja raha hai, nahana zaroori hai mere lie."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "zaroori hai kya? to phir akele tumase n ban p dega. chalo, maian bhi tumhare sath chalati hooan." itana kahakar vah khud hi hans p di aur boli, "kyoan jhag da karake mujhe takaliph de rahe ho aur khud bhi pareshani utha rahe ho. itani aber mean mat nahao, man jao, tumhean meri kasam hai."

is dhang ki bat karane mean rajalakshmi bejo d hai. apani ichchha ko hi jabardasti doosare ke kandhoan par lad dene ke k daghepan ko vah sneh ke madhur ras se is tarah bhar de sakati hai ki us zid ke viruddh kisi ka bhi koee sankalp sir nahian utha sakata. bat bilkual tuchchh hai, snan n karane se bhi mera chal jayega; kintu jinhean kiye bina nahian chal sakata aise kamoan mean bhi, bahut bar dekha hai ki, usaki ichchha-shakti ko atikram karake chalane ki shakti mujhamean nahian. mujhamean hi kyoan, kisi mean bhi vah shakti maianne nahian dekhi. mujhe uthakar vah bhojan lane chali gayi. maianne kaha, "pahale tumhare brahman-bhojan ka kam nibat jane do n?"

rajalakshmi ne ashchary ke sath kaha, "maph karo tum, vah kam nibatate-nibatate to saanjh ho jayegi."

"so ho jane do."

rajalakshmi ne hansate hue kaha, "thik hai. brahman-bhojan ko mere hi sir rahane do, usake lie tumhean bhookha rakhane se meri svarg ki sidhi oopar ke badale bilkukal patal ki or chali jayegi." yah kahakar vah bhojan lene chal di.

kuchh hi samay bad jab vah mere pas bhojan karane baithi, tab dekha ki samane rogi ka pathy hai. brahmabhoj ki sari gurupak vastuoan ke sath usaka koee sambandh n tha. maloom hua ki mere ane ke bad hi usane use apane hath se taiyar kiya hai. phir bhi, jabase aya hooan, usake acharan mean- usaki batachit ke dhang se, kuchh aisa anubhav kar raha tha jo keval aparichit hi nahian tha, atishay nootan bhi tha. vahi khilane ke samay bilkural spasht ho gaya, parantu vah kaise aur kis tarah suspasht ho gaya, koee poochhata to maian use aspashtata se bhi n samajha sakata. shayad yahi bat pratyuttar mean kah deta ki jan p data hai manushy ki atyant vyatha ki anubhooti ko prakash karane ki bhasha ab bhi avishkrit nahian huee. rajalakshmi khilane baithi, kintu khane-n khane ke sambandh mean usaki pahale jaisi abhyast jabardasati nahian thi, tha sirph vyakul anunay. zor nahian, bhiksha. bahar ke netroan se vah chiz nahian pak di jati, keval manushy ki nibhrit hriday ki apalak aauankhean hi dekh sakati haian.

bhojan samapt ho gaya. rajalakshmi boli, "to ab maian jaooan?"

atithi sajjan bahar ikatthe ho rahe the. maianne kaha, "jao."

mere joothe bartan hath mean lekar jab vah dhire-dhire kamare se bahar ho gayi; tab bahut der tak maian anyamanask hokar us or chupachap dekhata raha. khayal ane laga ki rajalakshmi ko jaisa chho d gaya tha, in tho de se dinoan mean thik vaisa to use nahian paya. anand kahata tha ki didi kal se hi ek tarah se upavas kar rahi haian, aj bhi jalasparsh nahian kiya hai; aur kal kab unaka upavas tootega isaka bhi koee nishchay nahian. yah asambhav nahian. hamesha se hi dekhata a raha hooan ki usaka dharmapipasu chitt kabhi kisi bhi krichchh sadhana se paranmukh nahian raha. yahaan ane ke bad se to sunanda ke sahachary se usaki vah avichalit nishtha badhati hi ja rahi thi. aj use tho di hi der dekhane ka avakash paya hai, kintu jis durjey rahasmay marg par vah avishrant drutagati se pair uthati huee chal rahi hai; use dekhate hue khayal aya ki usake nindit jivan ki sanchit kalima chahe jitani adhik ho vah usake samip tak nahian pahuanch sakati. kintu maian? usake marg ke bich uttuang girishreni ke saman sab kuchh rokakar kh da hooan.

kam-kaj samapt karake rajalakshmi ne jab ni:shabd pair rakhate hue ghar mean pravesh kiya tab shayad das baj chuke the. roshani kam karake, bahut hi savadhani se meri mashahari khianchakar vah apani shayya par sone ja rahi thi ki maianne kaha, "tumhara brahmabhoj to sandhyaa ke pahale hi samapt ho gaya tha; phir itani rat kaise ho gayi?"

rajalakshmi pahale chauanki, phir hansakar boli, "meri takadir! maian to darati-darati a rahi hooan ki tumhari niand n toot jay, parantu tum to ab tak jag rahe ho, niand nahian aee?"

"tumhari asha se hi jag raha hooan."

"meri asha se? to bulava kyoan n liya?" yah kahakar vah pas aee aur masahari ka ek kinara uthakar meri shayya ke sirahane baith gayi. phir hamesha ke abhyas ke anusar mere baloan mean usane apane donoan hathoan ki dasoan aanguliyaan dalate hue kaha, "mujhe bulava kyoan n liya?"

"bulane se kya tum atian? tumhean kitana kam rahata hai!"

"rahe kam! tumhare bulane par 'na' kah sakooan yah mere vash ki bat hai?"

isaka koee uttar n tha. janata hooan, sachamuch hi mere ahnan ki parava n karane ki shakti usamean nahian hai. kintu, aj is saty ko bhi saty samajhane ki shakti mujhamean kahaan hai?

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "chup kyoan ho rahe?"

"soch raha hooan."

"soch rahe ho? kya soch rahe ho?" yah kahakar usane dhire se mere kapal par apana mastak jhukakar ahiste se kaha, "mujh par gussa hokar ghar se chale gaye the?"

"tumane yah kaise jana ki gussa hokar chala gaya tha?"

rajalakshmi ne mastak nahian uthaya, ahiste se kaha, "yadi maian gussa hokar chali jaooan to kya tum nahian jan paoge?"

bola, "shayad jan looanga."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "tum 'shayad' jan pao, parantu maian to nishchayapoorvak jan sakati hooan aur tumhare janane ki apeksha bahut zyada jan sakati hooan."

maianne hansakar kaha, "aisa hi hoga. is vivad mean tumhean harakar maian vijayi nahian hona chahata lakshmi, svayan har jane ki apeksha tumhare harane se meri bahut adhik hani hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "yadi janate ho to phir kahate kyoan ho?"

maian bola, "kahaan kahata hooan! kahana to bahut dinoan se band kar diya hai, yah bat shayad tumhean maloom nahian."

rajalakshmi chup ho rahi. pahale hota to rajalakshmi mujhe sahaj mean n chho dati- hajaroan prashn karake isaki kaiphiyat talab karake hi manati, kintu is samay vah maun-mukh se stabdh hi rahi. kuchh samay bad muanh uthakar usane doosari bat chhe d di. poochha, "tumhean kya is bich jvar a gaya tha? ghar par mujhe khabar kyoan n bheji?"

khabar n bhejane ke karan batalae. ek to khabar lane vala adami nahian tha, doosare, jinake pas khabar bhejani thi ve kahaan haian yah bhi maloom n tha. kintu maian kahaan aur kis halat mean tha, yah savistar batalaya. chakravarti-grihini ke pas se aj savere hi vida lekar aya hooan. us din-hin grihasth parivar mean jis hal mean maian ashray liya tha aur jis prakar behad garibi mean grihini ne ajnat kulashil rogagrast atithi ki putr se bhi adhik sneh-shushroosha ki thi vah kahane laga to kritajnata aur vedana se meri aauankhean aauansuoan se bhar gayian.

rajalakshmi ne hath badhakar mere aauansoo poanchh diye aur kaha, "to ve rrinamukt ho jaany, isake lie unhean kuchh rupaye kyoan nahian bhej dete?"

maianne kaha, "rupaye hote to bhejata, par mere pas rupaye to haian nahian."

meri in batoan se rajalakshmi ko marmantak pi da hoti thi. aj bhi vah man hi man utani hi du:khit huee, lekin, usaka sab paisa-rupaya mera hi hai, yah bat aj usane utane zor se prakat nahian ki. pahale to is bat par vah kalah karane ke lie taiyar ho jaya karati thi. vah chup rahi.

usamean aj yah nayi bat dekhi. meri is bat par usaka is prakar shant chupachap baithe rahana mujhe bhi akhara. tho di der bad vah ek dirgh ni:shvas chho dakar sidhe baith gayi. mano is dirgh ni:shvas se usane apane charoan or chhaye hue vashpachchhann avaran ko pha d dena chaha. ghar ki dhimi roshani mean usaka chehara achchhi tarah nahian dekh saka; lekin, jis samay usase bat ki usase kanth-svar mean maianne ek ashcharyajanak parivartan paya. rajalakshmi boli, barma se tumhari chitthi ka javab aya hai. daftar ka b da liphapha hai, zaroori samajhakar anand se padhava liya hai."

"usake bad?"

"b de sahab ne tumhari darakhast manjoor kar li hai aur jatalaya hai ki vapas jane par pahali naukari phir mil jayegi."

"achchha?"

"haan. laooan vah chitthi?"

"nahian, thaharo. kal subah dekhooanga."

phir ham donoan chup ho rahe. kya kahooan, kis tarah yah chuppi bhang karooan, yah n soch sakane ke karan man hi man udvign hone laga. akasmath mere sir par aauansoo ki ek booand tapak p di. maianne dhire se poochha, "meri darakhast manjoor huee hai, yah to buri khabar nahian hai. lekin tum ro kyoan p dian?"

rajalakshmi aauanchal se aauansoo poanchhakar boli, "tum phir apani naukari ke lie videsh chale jane ki cheshta kar rahe ho, yah bat tumane mujhe batalaee kyoan nahian? kya tumane samajha tha ki maian rokooangi?"

maianne kaha, "nahian, balki batalane par to tum aur utsahit karatian. lekin, isalie nahian- maloom hota hai ki maianne socha tha ki in sab chhoti batoan ke sunane ke lie tumhare pas samay n hoga."

rajalakshmi chup ho rahi. lekin usane apana uchchhvasit ni:shvas rokane ke lie pran-pan se jo koshish ki, vah mujhase chhipi n rahi. par yah halat kshan bhar hi rahi. usake bad usane mithe svar mean kaha, "is bat ka javab dekar apane aparadh ka bojh aur n badhaooangi. tum jao, maian bilkuthal n rokooangi."

yah kahakar vah tho di hi der chup rahakar phir boli, "tum yahaan n ate to aisa maloom hota hai ki maian kabhi yah jan hi n pati ki maian tumhean kaisi durgati maian khianch laee hooan. yah gangamati ka andhakoop striyoan ke lie gujare layaq ho sakata hai, lekin purushoan ke lie nahian. yahaan ka bekar aur uddeshyahin jivan to tumhare lie atmahatya ke saman hai. yah maianne tumhari aauankhoan se spasht dekha hai."

maianne poochha, "ya tumhean kisi ne dikha diya hai?"

rajalakshmi boli, "nahian. maianne khud hi dekha hai. tirthayatra ki thi, par bhagavan ko nahian dekh paee. usake badale keval tumhara lakshy-bhrasht niras chehara hi din-rat dikhaee deta raha. mere lie tumhean bahut tyag karana p da hai; kintu ab aur nahian."

itani der tak mere man mean ek jalan hi thi; kintu usake kanth-svar ki anirvachaniy karuna se maian vihval ho gaya. bola, "tumhean kya kam tyag karana p da hai lakshmi? gangamati tumhare layaq bhi to nahian hai?"

lekin, yah bat kahakar maian sankoch se bhar gaya, kyoanki, mere mukh se laparavahi se bhi jo garhit bat nikal gayi, vah is tikshn buddhishalini ramani se chhip n saki. par aj usane mujhe maph kar diya. maloom hota hai, bat ki achchhaee buraee par man abhiman ka jal bunakar nasht karane ke lie usake pas samay hi nahian tha, boli, "balki maian hi gangamati ke yogy nahian hooan- sabhi yah bat nahian samajh sakeange; par tumhean yah samajhana chahie ki mujhe sachamuch hi kuchh tyag nahian karana p da. logoan ne ek din patthar ki tarah meri chhati par jo bhar rakh diya tha kya sirph vahi door ho gaya hai? nahian. ajivan tumhian ko chaha tha, isalie, tumhean pakar jo mujhe tyag se asankhy guna badala mil gaya hai, so kya tum nahian janate?"

javab n de saka. jaise koee antaratam ka vasi mujhase yah bat kahane laga, "bhool huee hai, tumase bhari bhool huee hai. use n samajhakar tumane b da avichar kiya hai."

rajalakshmi ne thik isi tar par chot ki. kaha, "socha tha ki tumhare hi lie kabhi yah bat tumhean n batalaooangi; lekin, aj maian apane ko aur nahian rok saki. mujhe sabase adhik du:kh isi bat ka ho raha hai ki tum anayas hi yah kaise soch sake ki puny ke lobh ka mujhe aisa unmad ho gaya hai ki maianne tumhari upeksha karani shuroo kar di hai? kruddh hokar chale jane ke pahale yah bat tumhean ek bar bhi yad n aee ki is kal aur par kal mean rajalakshmi ke lie tumhari apeksha labh ki chiz aur kaun-si hai!"

yah kahate-kahate usaki aauankhoan ke aauansoo jhar-jhar ke mere muanh par a p de.

batoan se tasalli dene ki bhasha us samay man mean n a saki, sirph mathe ke oopar rakkha hua usaka dahina hath apane hath mean le liya. rajalakshmi bayean hath se aauansoo poanchhakar kuchh der chupachap baithi rahi.

usake bad boli, "maian dekh aooan, logoan ka khana-pina ho chuka ya nahian. tum so jao."

yah kahakar vah ahiste se hath chhu dakar bahar chali gayi. use pak d rakhana chahata to rakh sakata tha; lekin cheshta nahian ki. vah bhi phir lautakar nahian aee. jab tak niand nahian aee tab tak yahi bat sochata raha ki jabardasti rok rakhata to labh kya hota? meri or se to kabhi koee zor tha hi nahian; sara zor usaki taraph se tha. aj agar vahi bandhan kholakar mujhe mukt karate hue apane apako bhi mukt karana chahati hai, to maian use kis tarah rokooan?

subah jagane par pahale usaki khat ki or najar dali to maloom hua ki rajalakshmi kamare mean nahian hai. rat ko vah aee hi nahian, ya b de t dake hi uthakar bahar chali gayi, yah bhi maian n samajh saka. bahari kamare mean jakar dekha to vahaan kuchh kolahal-sa ho raha hai. ratan ketali se garam chay patr mean dal raha hai aur usake pas hi baithi rajalakshmi stov par siangha de aur kachauriyaan tal rahi hai. vajranand khady-samagri ki or apani nisprih nirasakt drishti se dekh rahe haian. mujhe ate dekh rajalakshmi ne apane bhige baloan par aauanchal khianch liya aur vajranand kalarav kar uthe, "a gaye bhaee, apako deri hote dekh samajha tha ki kahian sab kuchh thanda n ho jay."

rajalakshmi ne hansakar kaha, "haan, tumhare pet mean jakar sab thanda ho jata."

anand ne kaha, "bahan, sadhu-sannyasi ka adar karana sikhie. aisi k di bat n kahie."

phir mujhase kaha, "kaho, tabiyat to thik nahian dikhati, jara hath to dekhooan."

rajalakshmi ne ghabarakar kaha, "rahane do anand, tumhari d aauktari ki zaroorat nahian hai; unaki tabiyat thik hai."

"yahi nishchay karane ke lie to ek bar hath..."

rajalakshmi boli, "nahian, tumhean hath dekhane ki zaroorat nahian. tumhean kya lagata hai, abhi saboodane ki vyavastha de doge."

maianne kaha, "saboodana maianne bahut khaya hai, isalie, maian usaki vyavastha dene par bhi nahian sunooanga."

"tumhean sunane ki zaroorat bhi nahian hai." kahakar rajalakshmi ne tho de se garam siangha doan aur kachauriyoan ki plet meri or badha di aur phir ratan se kaha, "apane baboo ko chay de."

vajranand ne sannyasi hone ke pahale d aauktari pas ki thi, at: ve sahaj hi har manane vale nahian the; gardan hilate hue bolane lage, "lekin bahan, ap par ek uttaradayitv..."

rajalakshmi ne bich hi mean unaki bat kat di, "lo suno, inaka uttaradayitv mujh par nahian to kya tum par hai? aj tak jitana uttaradayitv kandhoan par lekar inhean kh da rakha gaya hai, use yadi sunate to bahin ke pas d aauktari karane n ate."

yah kahakar rajalakshmi ne baki ki sari ki sari khady-samagri ek thal mean rakhakar unaki or sarakate hue hansakar kaha, "ab khao yah sab, batean band karo." anand 'hean hean' karate hue bola, "are, kya itana khaya ja sakata hai?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "n khaya jayega to sannyasi banane kyoan gaye the? aur paanch bhale-manasoan ki tarah grihasth bane rahate!"

anand ki donoan aauankhean sahasa bhar ayian. bola, "ap jaisi bahinoan ka dal is bangal mean hai tabhi to sannyasi bana hooan, nahian to, kasam khakar kahata hooan ki yah gerua-erua ajaya ke jal mean bahakar ghar chala jata. lekin, mera ek anurodh hai bahin. parasoan se hi tumane ek tarah se upas kar rakkha hai, isalie aj pooja-path adi se jara jaldi hi nibat lena. in chijoan mean ab bhi koee sparsh-dosh nahian laga hai. yadi ap kahean- n ho to" kahakar unhoanne samane ki bhojy samagri par najar dali.

rajalakshmi darakar aauankhean pha dati huee boli, "yah kahate kya ho anand, kal to hamare sare brahman a nahian sake the!"

maianne kaha, "to ve pahale bhojan kar javean, usake bad sahi."

anand bola, "aisa hai to lo, mujhe hi uthana p da. unake nam aur pate do-pakhandiyoan ko gale mean aangochha dalakar khianch laooanga aur bhojan karakar chho dooanga."

yah kahakar vah uthane ke badale thal khianchakar bhojan karane laga!

rajalakshmi hansakar boli, "sannyasi haian n, dev-brahmanoan mean b di bhakti hai!"

is tarah hamara sabere ka chay-nashte ka kam jab poora hua to ath baj chuke the. akar bahar baith gaya. sharir mean bhi glani nahian thi aur hansi-thatthe se man bhi manoan svachchh prasann ho gaya tha. rajalakshmi ki vigat ratri ki batoan aur aj ki batoan tatha acharan mean koee ekata nahian thi. usane abhiman aur vedana se du:khit hokar hi vaisi batean ki thian, isamean sandeh nahian raha. vastav mean rat ke stabdh andhakar ke avaran mean tuchchh aur mamooli ghatana ko b di aur kathor kalpana karake jis du:kh aur dushchinta ko bhoga tha, aj din ke prakash mean, use yad karake maian man hi man lajjit hua aur kautuk bhi anubhav kiya.

kal ki tarah aj utsav-samaroh nahian tha, to bhi, din-bhar bich-bich mean nyaute aur bina nyaute logoan ke bhojan ka silasila barabar jari raha. phir ek bar ham log chay ka saro-saman lekar kamare ke pharsh par asan lagakar baith gaye. sham ka kam-kaj samapt karake rajalakshmi bhi tho di der ke lie ham logoan ke kamare mean ayi.

vajranand bole, "svagat hai, bahin."

rajalakshmi ne unaki or hansate hue dekhakar kaha, "maian samajhati hooan ki ab sannyasi ki dev-seva arambh ho gayi hai, isilie n itana anand hai!"

anand ne kaha, "tumane jhootha nahian kaha bahin, sansar mean jitane anand haian unamean bhajananand aur bhojananand hi shreshth haian, aur shastr ka kathan hai ki tyagi ke lie to doosara hi sarvashreshth hai."

rajalakshmi boli, "haan, tum jaise sannyasiyoan ke lie!"

anand ne javab diya, "yah bhi jhooth nahian hai, bahin. ap grihini haian, isilie isaka marm nahian grahan kar sakian. tabhi to ham tyagiyoan ka dal idhar mauj kar raha hai aur ap tin din se sirph doosaroan ko khilane mean lagi haian aur khud upavas karake mar rahi haian!"

rajalakshmi boli, "mar kahaan rahi hooan, bhaee? din par din to dekh rahi hooan, is sharir ki shrivriddhi hi ho rahi hai."

anand bole, "isaka karan yahi hai ki vah hone ke lie badhyo hai. us bar bhi apako dekh gaya tha, is bar bhi akar dekh raha hooan. apaki or dekhakar aisa nahian maloom hota ki koee sansar ki chiz dekh raha hooan, yah jaise duniya se alag aur hi kuchh hai."

rajalakshmi ka muanh lajja se lal ho utha.

maianne usase hansakar kaha, "dekhi tumane apane anand ki yukti-pranali?"

yah sunakar anand bhi hansakar bola, "yah to yukti nahian,- stuti hai. bhaiya, yadi yah drishti hoti to kyoan naukari ki darakhast dene barma jate? achchha bahin, kis dusht-buddhi devata ne bhala is andhe adami ko tumhare matthe madh diya tha? use kya aur koee kam nahian tha?"

rajalakshmi hans p di. phir apane mathe par hath thokakar boli, "devata ka dosh nahian hai bhaee, dosh is lalat ka hai aur inako to inaka b da bhari dushman bhi dosh de nahian sakata." yah kahakar usane mujhe dikhate hue kaha- "pathashala mean ye the sabake saradar. jitana padhate n the usase bahut zyada marate the. us samay padhati to thi sirph 'bodhoday'. par, pustak ka bodh to kya hona tha, bodh hua aur ek tarah ka. bachchi thi, phool kahaan pati, jangali karauandoan ki mala gooanthakar inhean ek din varamala pahina di. sochati hooan us samay agar un phaloan ke sath kaante bhi gooanth deti!"

bolate-bolate usaka kupit kanth-svar dabi hansi ki abha se sundar ho utha.

anand bola, "oh! kaisa bhayanak gussa hai!"

rajalakshmi boli, "gussa nahian to kya hai? kaante lakar denevala koee aur hota to zaroor gooanth deti. ab bhi paooan to gooanth dooan."

yah kahakar vah tezise bahar ja rahi thi ki anand ne pukarakar kaha, "bhagati ho?"

"kyoan, kya aur koee kam nahian hai? chay ki pyali hath mean liye unhean kalah karane ka samay hai, mujhe nahian hai."

anand ne kaha, "bahan, maian tumhara anugat hooan. par is abhiyog mean shah dene mean to mujhe bhi lajja ka anubhav hota hai. ye muanh se ek bhi bat nikalate, to inhean isamean ghasitane ki cheshta bhi ki jati; par ekadam gooange adami ko kaise phande mean dala jae? aur dala bhi jae to dharm kaise sahan karega?"

rajalakshmi boli, "isi ki to mujhe sabase b di jalan hai. achchha, ab jo dharm ko sahan ho vahi karo. chay bilkutal thandi ho gayi. maian tab tak ek bar rasoeeghar ka chakh‍kar laga aooan."

yah kahakar rajalakshmi kamare ke bahar ho gayi.

vajranand ne poochha, "barma jane ka vichar kya ab bhi hai bhaee sahab? lekin bahin sath hargij nahian jaanyagi, yah mujhase kah chuki haian."

"yah maian janata hooan."

"to phir?"

"tab akele hi jana hoga."

vajranand ne kaha, "dekhie, yah apaka anyay hai. ap logoan ko paisa kamane ki zaroorat to hai nahian, phir kyoan jaanyage doosare ki gulami karane?"

"kam se kam usaka abhyas banaye rakhane ke lie!"

"yah to gusse ki bat huee bhaee."

"par gusse ke sivay kya manushy ke lie aur koee karan nahian hota anand?"

anand bola, "ho bhi, to vah doosare ke lie samajhana kathin hai."

ichchha to huee ki kahooan, "yah kathin kam doosare karean hi kyoan", par vad-vivad se chiz pichhe k davi ho jati hai, is ashanka se chup ho gaya.

isi samay bahar ka kam nibatakar rajalakshmi ne kamare mean pravesh kiya. is bar vah kh di n rahakar bhalamanasi ke sath anand ke pas sthiratapoorvak baith gayi. anand ne mujhe lakshy karake kaha, "bahin, inhoanne kaha hai ki kam se kam gulami ka abhyas banaye rakhane ke lie inhean videsh jana chahie. maianne kaha ki yadi yahi chahie to aie mere kam mean yog dijie, videsh n jakar desh ki gulami mean hi donoan bhaee zindagi bita dean."

rajalakshmi boli, "lekin, yah to d aauktari nahian janate anand."

anand bola, "kya maian sirph d aauktari hi karata hooan? skool pathashalaean bhi to chalata hooan aur un logoan ki durdasha aj kitani or se aur kitani adhik ho rahi hai, ise barabar samajhane ki cheshta karata hooan."

"par ve samajhate haian kya?"

anand ne kaha, "asani se nahian samajhate. kintu, manushy ki shubh ichchha yadi hriday se saty hokar bahar nikalati hai, to cheshta vyarth nahian jati, bahin." rajalakshmi ne meri or tirachhi najar se dekhakar dhire se sir hila diya. maloom hota hai ki usane vishvas nahian kiya aur vah mere lie man hi man sashank ho uthi. pichhe kahian maian bhi sammati n de baithooan, kahian maian bhi...

anand ne poochha, "sar kyoan hila diya?"

rajalakshmi ne pahale kuchh hansane ki cheshta ki, phir snigdh madhur kanth se kaha, "desh ki durdasha kitani b di hai, yah maian bhi janati hooan anand. par tumhare akele ki cheshta se kya hoga bhaee?" phir meri or ishara karake kaha, "aur ye sahayata karane jaanyage? tab to ho gaya, phir to meri tarah tumhare din bhi inhian ki seva mean kateange; aur koee kam n karana hoga."

yah kahakar vah hans p di.

usako hansate dekh anand bhi hansakar bola, "to inako le jane ki zaroorat nahian hai bahin, ye chirakal tak tumhari aauankhoan ke mani hokar rahean. par yah akele-dukele ki bat nahian hai. akele manushy ki bhi antarik ichchha-shakti itani b di hoti hai ki usaka pariman nahian hota- bilkulal vamanavatar ke paanv ki tarah. bahar se dekhane par chhota hai, par vahi chhota-sa paanv jab phailata hai sab sare sansar ko dhank deta hai."

maianne dekha ki vamanavatar ki upama se rajalakshmi ka chitt komal ho gaya hai; kintu javab mean usane kuchh nahian kaha.

anand kahane laga, "shayad apaki hi bat thik hai, maian vishesh kuchh nahian kar sakata. lekin, ek kam karata hooan. jahaan tak ho sakata hai, dukhiyoan ke du:khoan ka aansh maian bantata hooan bahin."

rajalakshmi aur bhi ardr hokar boli, "yah maian janati hooan anand. yah to maianne usi din samajh liya tha jis din tumhean pahale-pahal dekha tha."

maloom hota hai ki anand ne is bat par dhyathan nahian diya aur vah apani hi bat ke silasile mean kahane laga, "ap logoan ki tarah mujhe bhi kisi chiz ka abhav nahian hai. bap ka jo kuchh hai vah anand se jivan bitane ke lie zaroorat se zyada hai, par mera usase kuchh sarokar nahian hai. is dukhi desh mean sukhabhog ki lalasa bhi yadi is jivan mean rokakar rakh sakooan to mere lie yahi bahut hai."

ratan ne akar batalaya ki rasoie ne bhojan taiyar kar liya hai.

rajalakshmi ne use asan taiyar karane ka adesh dekar kaha, "aj tum log bhojan se jaldi hi nibat lo anand, maian bahut thak gayi hooan."

vah thak gayi thi, isamean sandeh nahian, lekin thakane ki duhaee dete use kabhi nahian dekha tha. ham donoan chupachap uth baithe. aj ka prabhat ham logoan ki ek b di bhari prasannata mean se hokar hansi-dillagi ke sath arambh hua tha aur sandhyajh ki majalis bhi jami thi. has-parihas se ujjval hokar, kintu samapt huee mano niranand ke malin avasad ke sath. jis samay ham log bhojan karane ke lie rasaeeghar ki or chale us samay kisi ke muanh se koee bat nahian nikali.

doosare din sabere vajranand ne prasthan ki taiyari kar di. aur kabhi yadi kisi ke kahian jane ki charcha uthati to rajalakshmi hamesha apatti kiya karati. achchha din nahian hai, achchhi gh di nahian hai, adi karan batalakar, aj nahian kal, kal nahian parasoan, karake bahut badha dalati thi. lekin, aj usane muanh se ek bat bhi nahian nikali. vida lekar anand jis samay taiyar hua us samay pas jakar usase mithe svar se poochha, "anand, ab kya n aoge bhaee?"

maian pas hi tha, isalie, spasht dekh saka, sannyasi ki aauankhoan ki dipti aspasht si ho gayi hai, kintu tatkal hi atm-sanvaran karake vah muanh par hansi late hue bola, "aooanga kyoan nahian bahin, agar jivit raha to bich-bich mean utpat karane ke lie hajir hota rahooanga."

"sachamuch?"

"zaroor."

"lekin, ham log to jald hi chale jaanyage. jahaan ham raheange vahaan aoge kya?"

"hukm dene par aooanga kyoan nahian."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "ana. apana pata mujhe likh do, maian tumhean chitthi likhooangi."

anand ne jeb se kagaj-pensil nikalakar pata likha aur usake hath mean de diya. sannyasi hokar bhi donoan hath jo dakar mastak se lagate hue usane ham donoan ko namaskar kiya aur ratan ne akar usaki pad-dhooli grahan ki. use ashirvad de vah dhire-dhire makan ke bahar ho gaya.

000

sannyasi vajranand apana aushadhiyoan ka b aauks aur kenavas ka baig lekar jis din bahar gaya us din se jaise vah is ghar ka anand hi chhin-chhanakar le gaya. yahi nahian, mujhe aisa laga mano vah us shoony sthan ko chhidrahin niranand se bhar gaya. ghane sivar se bhare hue jalashay ka jal, jo apane avishrant chaanchaly ke abhighatoan se nirmal ho raha tha, mano usake arntadhyajan hone ke sath hi sath lipatakar ekakar hone laga. to bhi, chhah-sat din kat gaye.

rajalakshmi pray: sare din ghar se bahar rahati hai. kahaan jati hai, kya karati hai, nahian janata, usase poochhata bhi nahian. sham ko jab ek bar usase bheant hoti hai to us vakt vah ya to anyamanask dikhaee deti hai ya gumashtaji sath hote haian aur kam-kaj ki batean hoti rahati haian. akele ghar mean us 'anand' ki bar-bar yad ati hai jo mera koee nahian hai. khayal ata, yadi vah akasmath a jay, to sirph maian hi khush hota yah bat nahian hai, baramade ki doosari or chirag ki roshani mean baithi huee rajalakshmi bhi, jo n jane kya karane ki cheshta kar rahi hai, maian samajhata hooan, utani hi khush hoti. aisa hi lagane laga. ek din jinake unmukh yugm-hriday jis bahar ka sab prakar ka sansrav parihar karake ekant sammilan ki akaanksha se vyakul rahate the, aj tootane-vichchhinn hone ke din usi bahar ki unhean kitani b di zaroorat hai? aisa lagata hai ki chahe koee bhi ho yadi vah ek bar bich mean akar kh da ho jay, to mano jan bach jay.

is tarah jab din katana mushkil ho gaya, tab ratan ekaek akar upasthit ho gaya. vah apani hansi dabane mean asamarth tha. rajalakshmi ghar par thi nahian, isalie use darane ki zaroorat nahian thi, to bhi vah ek bar savadhani se charoan or nazar dau dakar ahiste se bola, "maloom hota hai apane suna nahian."

maian bola, "nahian, kya bat hai?"

ratan bola, "durga mata kripa karean ki maan ki yahi buddhi ant tak bani rahe. ham sab do-char din mean hi yahaan se chal rahe haian."

"kahaan chal rahe haian?"

ratan ne ek bar aur daravaze ke bahar dekh liya aur kaha, "yah to thik-thik ab bhi nahian maloom kar saka hooan. ya to patana ya kashi aur ya- lekin, inake atirikt to aur kahian maan ka apana makan hai nahian."

maian chup raha. itani b di bat par bhi mujhe chup aur utsukata rahit dekhakar use aisa maloom hua ki maian usaki bat par vishvas nahian kar raha hooan, isilie, vah apane dabe gale ki sari takat lagakar bol utha, "maian sach kah raha hooan. hamara chalana nishchit hai. a:, jan bache tab to, hai n thik?"

maianne kaha, "haan."

ratan bahut khush hokar bola, "do-char din aur sabake sath takaliph jhel lijie, bas. adhik se adhik ek haphte ki bat aur hai, isase zyada nahian. maan gangamati ki sari vyavastha kushari mahashay ke sath thik kar chuki hai. ab saman baandh-booandhakar ek bar 'durga durga' kahakar chal dena hi baki raha hai. ham sab thahare shahar ke nivasi, kya yahaan hamara man kabhi lag sakata hai?" yah kahakar vah prasannata ke aveg mean uttar ki pratiksha kiye bina hi bahar chala gaya.

ratan ko koee bat ajnat nahian thi. usaki samajh mean maian bhi rajalakshmi ke anucharoan mean se ek tha, isase adhik aur kuchh nahian. vah janata tha ki kisi ke bhi matamat ka koee mooly nahian hai, sabaki pasand aur napasand malakin ki ichchha aur abhiruchi par hi nirbhar hai.

jo abhas ratan de gaya usaka marm vah khud nahian samajhata tha, lekin, usake vaky ka vah goodh arth, dekhate hi dekhate, mere chitt-pat mean charoan or se parisphut ho utha. rajalakshmi ki shakti ki sima nahian hai. us vipul shakti ko lagakar vah sansar mean jaise apane apako lekar hi khel khel rahi hai. ek din is khel mean meri zaroorat huee thi, usaki us ekagr-vasana ke prachand akarshan ko rokane ki kshamata mujhamean nahian thi. maian jhukakar aya tha, mujhe vah b da banakar nahian laee thi. sochata tha, mere lie usane anek svarth-tyag kiye haian; par aj dikhaee p da ki thik yahi bat nahian hai. rajalakshmi ke svarth ka kendr itane samay tak dekha nahian tha, isilie aisa sochata aya hooan. dhan, arth, aishvary-bahut kuchh usane chho da hai, lekin kya mere hi lie? in sabane koo de ke dher ki tarah kya usaka niji prayojan ka hi rasta nahian roka hai? rajalakshmi ke nikat mere aur mujhe prapt karane ke bich kitana prabhed hai yah saty mujh par aj prakat hua. aj usaka chitt is lok ke sab-kuchh paye hue ko tuchchh karake agrasar hone ko taiyar hua hai. usake us path ke bich kh de hone ke lie mujhe sthan nahian hai. isalie, anyany koo de-kachare ki tarah ab mujhe bhi raste ke ek taraph anadar se p da rahana p dega, chahe vah kitana hi du:kh de. par asvikar karane ke lie marg nahian hai. asvikar kiya bhi nahian kabhi.

doosare din sabere hi jan paya ki chalak ratan ne jo tathy sangrah kiya tha vah galat nahian hai. gangamati-sambandhi sari vyavastha sthir ho gayi hai. rajalakshmi ke hi muanh se mujhe is bat ka pata laga hai. prat:kal niyamit pooja-path karake vah aur dinoan ki tarah bahar nahian gayi. dhire-dhire akar mere pas baith gayi aur boli, "parasoan isi vakt agar kha-pikar ham sab yahaan se nikal sakean to saaneethiya mean pachchhim ki ga di asani se mil sakati hai, n?"

maian bola, "mil sakati hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "yahaan ka sab bandobast maian ek tarah se poora kar chuki hooan. kushari mahashay jis tarah dekh-rekh rakhate the, usi tarah rakheange."

maianne kaha, "achchha hi hua."

rajalakshmi kuchh der chup rahi. maloom hota tha ki prashn ko thik taur se arambh nahian kar sakati thi, isilie ant mean boli, "bankoo ko chitthi likh di hai ki vah ga di rijarv karake steshan par hajir rahega. lekin rahe tab to?"

maianne kaha, "zaroor rahega. vah tumhara hukm nahian talega."

rajalakshmi boli, "nahian, jahaan tak ho sakega talega nahian, to bhi- achchha tum kya hamare sath nahian chal sakoge?"

kahaan jana hoga, yah prashn nahian kar saka. sirph itana hi muanh se nikala, "agar mere chalane ki zaroorat samajho to chal sakata hooan."

isake pratyuttar mean rajalakshmi kuchh n bol saki. kuchh der chup rahane ke bad sahasa ghabarakar bol uthi, "are, tumhare lie chay to ab tak laya hi nahian."

maian bola, "maloom hota hai vah kam mean vyast hai."

vastav mean chay lane ka samay kafi gujar chuka tha. aur din hota to vah naukaroan ka aisa aparadh kabhi kshama n kar sakati, bak-jhakakar toofan-varsha kar deti, lekin us samay jaise vah ek prakar ki lajja se mar gayi aur ek bhi bat n kahakar tezise kamare ke bahar ho gayi.

nishchit din ko prasthan ke pahale samast prajajan aye aur gherakar kh de ho gaye. dom ki l daki malati ko phir ek bar dekhane ki ichchha thi, lekin, usane is gaanv ko chho dakar kisi aur hi gaanv mean apani grihasthi jama li hai, isalie nahian dekh saka. pata laga ki us jagah vah apane pati ke sath sukhi hai. donoan kushari-bandhu apane parivar sahit rat rahate hi a gaye. julahe ka sampatti-sambandhi jhag de ka nibatara ho jane se ve phir ek ho gaye haian. rajalakshmi ne kaise yah sab kiya ise vistarapoorvak janane ka kautoohal bhi nahian tha, aur n jana hi. unake muanh ki or dekhakar keval itana hi jan saka ki jhag de ka ant ho gaya hai aur poorv-sanchit anaban ki glani ab kisi bhi paksh ke man mean maujood nahian hai.

sunanda aee aur usane apane bachche ko lekar mujhe pranam kiya. kaha, "ham sabako ap jaldi n bhool jaanyage, yah maian janati hooan. isake lie to prarthana karana vyarth hai." maianne hansakar kaha, "to mujhase aur kis bat ke lie prarthana karogi bahin?"

"mere bachche ko ap ashirvad dean."

maian bola, "yahi to vyarth prarthana hai, sunanda. tum jaisi maan ke bachche ko kya ashirvad diya jay, yah to maian bhi nahian janata, bahin."

rajalakshmi kisi kam se pas hi se ja rahi thi. yah bat jyoan hi usake kanoan p di, vah kamare ke andar a kh di huee aur sunanda ki or se boli, "is bachche ko yah ashirvad de chalo ki yah b da hokar tumhare hi jaisa man paye."

maianne hansakar kaha, "b da achchha ashirvad hai! shayad tumhare bachche se lakshmi majak karana chahati hai, sunanda."

bat samapt hone ke pahale hi rajalakshmi bol uthi, "majak karana chahooangi apane hi bachche ke sath, aur vah bhi chalane ke samay?"

yah kahakar vah kshan-bhar stabdh rahakar boli, "maian bhi isaki maan ke saman hooan. maian bhi bhagavan se prarthana karati hooan ki ve ise yahi dean. isase b da to maian koee aur var janati nahian."

sahasa maianne dekha, usaki donoan aauankhoan mean aauansoo bhar aye haian. aur kuchh bhi n kahakar vah kamare se bahar chali gayi.

isake bad sabase milakar, aauankhoan mean aauansoo bhare hue, gangamati se vida li. yahaan tak ki ratan bhi phir-phirakar aauankhean poanchhane laga. jo yahaan rahane vale the unhoanne ham sabase phir ane ke lie atyadhik anurodh kiya aur sabane unhean phir ane ka vachan bhi diya, keval maian hi n de saka. maianne hi nishchit roop se samajha tha ki is jivan mean ab mera yahaan lautana sambhav nahian hai. isalie jate samay is chhote-se gaanv ko bar-bar phir-phirakar dekhate samay man mean keval yahi vichar utpann hone laga ki aparimey madhury aur vedana se paripoorn ek viyogant natak ki yavanika abhi hi giri hai; natyashala ke dip bujh gaye haian aur ab manushyoan se paripoorn sansar ki sahasr-vidha bhi d mean se mujhe raste par bahar nikalana p dega. kintu, jis man ko janata ke bich b di hoshiyari se qadam rakhane ki zaroorat hai, mera vahi man jaise nashe ki khumari se ekadam achchhann ho raha.

sham ke bad ham sab saaneethiya a pahuanche. rajalakshmi ke kisi bhi adesh aur upadesh ki bankoo ne avahelana nahian ki. sab intazam karake vah steshan ke pletapharm par khud upasthit tha. yathasamay ga di aee aur vah saro-saman ladakar, ratan ko naukaroan ke dibbe mean chadha, vimata ko lekar ga di mean baith gaya. lekin, usane mere sath koee ghanishthata dikhane ki cheshta nahian ki, kyoanki, ab usaka mooly badh gaya hai; ghar-bar rupaye-paise lekar ab sansar mean vah vishesh adamiyoan mean gina jane laga hai. bankoo vilakshan vyakti hai. sabhi avasthaoan ko manakar chalana janata hai. yah vidya jise ati hai, sansar mean use du:kh-bhog nahian karana p data.

ga di chhootane mean ab bhi paanch minat ki deri hai; lekin, meri kalakatte janevali ga di to ayegi pray: rat ke pichhale pahar. ek or sthir hokar kh da tha. rajalakshmi ne ga di ki khi daki se muanh nikalakar hath ke ishare se mujhe bulaya. pas pahuanchate hi kaha, "jara andar ao." andar jane par usane hath pak dakar mujhe pas bitha liya aur kaha, "tum kya bahut jaldi hi barma chale jaoge? jane ke pahale kya ek bar aur nahian mil sakoge?"

maian bola, "agar zaroorat ho to mil sakata hooan."

rajalakshmi dhire se boli, "sansar jise zaroorat kahata hai vah nahian. keval ek bar aur dekhana chahati hooan. aoge?"

"aooanga."

"kalakatte pahuanchakar chitthi bhejoge?"

"bhejooanga."

bahar ga di chhootane ka antim ghanta baj utha aur gard ne apani hari roshani bar-bar hilakar ga di chho dane ka sanket kiya. rajalakshmi ne jhukakar mere paanvoan ki dhool li aur mera hath chho d diya. maianne jyoan hi niche utarakar ga di ka daravaza band kiya, ga di ravana ho gayi. rat aandheri thi, achchhi tarah kuchh bhi dikhaee nahian p data tha, sirph pletapharm ke mitti ke tel ke laimpoan ne dhire-dhire sarakati huee ga di ki us khuli khi daki ki ek aspasht nari-moorti par kuchh roshani dali.

kalakatta akar maianne chitthi bheji aur usaka javab bhi paya. yahaan koee adhik kam to tha nahian, jo kuchh tha vah pandrah din mean samapt ho gaya. ab videsh jane ka ayojan karana hoga. lekin, usake pahale vade ke anusar ek bar phir rajalakshmi se mil ana hoga. do saptah aur bhi yoan hi bit gaye. man mean ek ashanka thi ki n jane usaka kya matalab ho, shayad asani se chho dana nahian chahe, ya itani door jane ke viruddh tarah-tarah ke ujr aur apattiyaan kh di karake zid kare- kuchh bhi asambhav nahian hai. is samay vah kashi mean hai. usake rahane ka pata bhi janata hooan; idhar usake do-tin patr bhi a chuke haian, aur yah bhi vishesh roop se lakshy kar chuka hooan ki mere vade ko yad dilane ke sambandh mean kahian bhi usane ishara karane ka prayatn nahian kiya hai. n karane ki to bat hi hai. man hi man kaha, apane ko itana chhota banakar maian bhi shayad muanh kholakar yah nahian likh sakata ki tum akar ek bar mujhase mil jao. dekhate-dekhate akasmath maian jaise adhir ho utha. aur is jivan ke sath vah itani jak di huee hai, yah bat itane din kaise bhoola hua tha, yah sochakar avakh ho gaya. gh di nikalakar dekhi, ab bhi samay hai, ga di pak di ja sakati hai. tab saman dere par p da raha aur maian bahar nikal p da.

idhar-udhar phaili huee chijoan ko dekhakar man mean aya, rahean ye sab p di hueean. meri zarooratoan ko jo mujhase bhi adhik achchhi tarah janati hai, usi ke uddeshy se-usi se milane ke lie, jab yatra karana hai, tab yah zarooratoan ka bojha nahian dhoooanga. rat ko ga di mean kisi tarah niand nahian aee, alas tandra ke jhoankoan se muandi huee donoan aauankhoan ki palakoan par kitane vichar aur kitani kalpanaean khelati hooee ghoomane lagian unaka adi-ant nahian. shayad, adhikaansh hi vishriankhal thian, parantu, sabhi jaise madhu se bhari hueean. dhire-dhire subah huee, din chadhane laga, logoan ke chadhane-utarane, bolane-pukarane aur dau d-dhoop karane ki had nahian, tej dhoop ke karan charoan or kahian bhi kuhare ka chihn nahian raha; par, meri aauankhean bilkueel vashpachhann ho rahian.

raste mean ga di let ho jane ke karan rajalakshmi ke kashi ke makan par jab maian pahuancha to bahut deri ho gayi thi. baithak ke samane ek boodhe se brahman huqqa pi rahe the. unhoanne muanh uthakar poochha, "kya chahate haian?"

yah sahasa nahian batala saka ki kya chahata hooan. unhoanne phir poochha, "kise khoj rahe haian?"

kise khoj raha hooan, sahasa yah batalana bhi kathin ho gaya. jara rukakar bola, "ratan hai kya?"

"nahian, vah bazar gaya hai."

brahman sajjan vyakti the. mere dhooli-bhare malin mukh ki or dekhakar shayad unhoanne anuman kar liya ki maian door se a raha hooan, isalie dayapoorn svar mean bole- "ap baithie, vah jald aega. apako kya sirph usi ki zaroorat hai?"

pas hi ek chauki par baith gaya. unake prashn ka thik uttar n dekar poochh baitha, "yahaan bankoo baboo haian?"

"haian kyoan nahian."

yah kahakar unhoanne ek naye naukar ko kaha ki bankoo baboo ko bula de.

bankoo ne akar dekha to pahale vah bahut vismit hua. bad mean mujhe apani baithak mean le jakar aur bithakar bola, "ham log to samajhate the ki ap barma chale gaye." is 'ham log' ka kya matalab hai, yah maian poochh nahian saka. bankoo ne kaha, "apaka saman abhi ga di par hi hai kya?"

"nahian, maian sath mean koee saman nahian laya."

"nahian laye? to kya rat ki hi ga di se laut jana hai?"

maianne kaha, "sambhav hua to aisa hi vichar karake aya hooan."

bankoo bola, "tab thik hai, itane tho de vakt ke lie saman ki kya zaroorat!"

naukar akar dhoti, gamachha aur hath-muanh dhone ko pani adi zaroori chizean de gaya; par, aur koee mere pas nahian aya.

bhojan ke lie bulahat huee, jakar dekha, chauke mean mere aur bankoo ke baithane ki jagah pas pas hi ki gayi hai. dakshin ka daravaza thelakar rajalakshmi ne andar pravesh karake mujhe pranam kiya. shuroo mean to shayad use pahichan hi n saka. jab pahichana to aauankhoan ke samane mano andhakar chha gaya. yahaan kaun hai aur kaun nahian, nahian soojh p da. doosare hi kshan khayal aya ki maian apani maryada banaye rakhakar, kuchh aisa n karake jisamean ki hansi ho, is ghar se phir sahaj hi bhale manas ki tarah kis tarah bahar ho sakooanga.

rajalakshmi ne poochha, "ga di mean kuchh takaliph to nahian huee?"

isake siva vah aur kya poochh sakati thi? maian dhire se asan par baithakar kuchh kshan stabdh raha, shayad ek gh di se adhik nahian aur phir muanh uthakar bola, "nahian, takaliph nahian huee."

is bar usake muanh ki or achchhi tarah dekha to maloom hua ki usane n keval sare abhooshan hi utar kar sharir par ek sadi kinari ki dhoti dharan kar rakkhi hai, balki, usaki pith par latakane vali meghavath sudirgh kesharashi bhi gayab hai. mathe ke oopar, lalat ke niche tak, aauanchal khiancha hua hai, to bhi usamean se kate baloan ki do-char latean gale ke donoan or nikalakar bikhar gayi haian. upavas aur kathor atm-nigrah ki ek aisi rookhi durbalata chehare se tapak rahi hai ki akasmath jan p da ki is ek hi mahine mean vah umr mean bhi mano mujhase das sal age badh gayi hai.

bhat ke gras mere gale mean patthar ki tarah atakate the, to bhi, jabardasti nigalane laga. bar-bar yahi khayal karane laga ki is nari ke jivan se hamesha ke lie puanchhakar vilupt ho jaooan aur aj, sirph ek din ke lie bhi, yah mere kam khane ki alochana karane ka avasar n pave.

bhojan samapt hone ke bad rajalakshmi ne kaha, "bankoo kahata tha ki tum aj rat ki hi ga di se vapas chale jana chahate ho?"

maianne kaha, "haan."

"aisa bhi kahian hota hai! lekin, tumhara jahaz to us ravivar ko chhootega."

is vyakt aur avyakt uchchhvas se vismit hokar usake muanh ki or dekha. dekhate hi vah hathath jaise lajja se mar gayi aur doosare hi kshan apane ko sanbhalakar dhire se boli, "usamean to ab bhi tin din ki deri hai?"

maianne kaha, "haan par aur bhi to kam haian."

rajalakshmi phir kuchh kahana chahati thi; par chup rahi. shayad meri thakavat, aur asvasth hone ki sambhavana ke khayal se us bat ko muanh par n la saki. kuchh der aur chup rahakar boli, "mere gurudev aye haian."

samajh gaya ki bahar jis vyakti se pahale-pahal mulakat huee thi vahi gurudev haian. unhian ko dikhane ke lie hi vah ek bar mujhe is kashi mean khianch laee thi. sham ko unake sath batachit huee. meri ga di rat ko barah baje ke bad chhootegi. ab bhi bahut samay hai. adami sachamuch achchhe haian. svadharm mean avichal nishtha hai aur udarata ka bhi abhav nahian hai. hamari sabhi batean janate haian, kyoanki, apane guru se rajalakshmi ne koee bat chhipaee nahian hai. unhoanne bahut-si batean kahian. kahani ke bahane upadesh bhi kam n diye; par ve n ugr the aur n chot karane vale. sab batean yad nahian haian, shayad man lagakar suni bhi nahian thian; to bhi, itana yad hai ki kabhi n kabhi rajalakshmi ka is roop mean parivartan hoga, yah ve janate the. diksha ke sambandh mean bhi ve prachalit riti nahian manate haian. unaka vishvas hai ki jisaka paanv phisala hai, sadguru ki, auroan ki apeksha, usi ko adhik avashyakata hai.

isake viruddh maian kahata hi kya? unhoanne phir ek bar apani shishya ki bhakti, nishtha aur dharmabhiruta ki bhoori-bhoori prashansa karake kaha, "aisi stri doosari nahian dekhi." bat vastav mean sach thi, par maian ise khud bhi unake kahane ki apeksha kam nahian janata tha. kintu, chup ho raha.

samay hone laga, gho daga di daravaze ke samane akar kh di ho gayi. gurudev se vida lekar maian ga di par ja baitha. rajalakshmi ne s dak par akar aur ga di ke andar hath badhakar bar-bar mere paanvoan ki dhooli apane mathe par lagaee, par muanh se kuchh bhi n kaha. shayad usamean yah shakti hi nahian thi. achchha hi hua jo aandhere mean vah mera muanh nahian dekh saki. maian bhi stabdh ho raha, kya kahooan, nahian khoj saka. antim vida ni:shabd hi poori huee. ga di chal p di. meri donoan aauankhoan se aauansoo girane lage. maianne apane sarvant:karan se kaha, "tum sukhi hoo, shant hoo, tumhara lakshy dhruv ho, tumhari eershya n karooanga; lekin, jis abhage ne sab kuchh tyagakar ek sath ek din apani nauka chho d di thi, is jivan mean use ab kinara nahian milega."

ga di g dag dati huee ravana ho gayi. us din ki vida ke samay jo sab batean man mean aee thian, vahi phir jag uthian. man mean aya ki yah jo ek jivan-natak ka atyant sthool aur sadhu upasanhar hua hai isaki khyati ka ant nahian hai. itihas mean likhane par isaki amlan dipti kabhi dhoomil nahian hogi. shraddha aur vismay ke sath mastak jhukane vale pathakoan ka bhi kisi din sansar mean abhav n hoga- lekin, meri atm-kahani kisi ko bhi sunane ki nahian hai. maian chala anyatr. mere hi saman jo pap-pank mean doobi hai, jise achchhe hone ka koee marg nahian raha hai, usi abhaya ke ashray mean. man hi man rajalakshmi ko lakshy karake bola, "tumhara puny-jivan unnat se bhi unnatatar ho, dharm ki mahima tumhare dvara ujjval se ujjvalatar ho, maian ab kshobh nahian karooanga." abhaya ki chitthi mili hai. sneh, prem aur karuna se atal abhaya ne, bahan se bhi adhik snehamayi vidrohini abhaya ne, mujhe sadar amantrit kiya hai. ane ke samay chhote se daravaze par usake jo sajal netr dikhe the, ve yad a gaye aur yad a gaya usaka samast atit aur vartaman itihas. chitt ki shuddhata, buddhi ki nirbharata aur atma ki svadhinata se vah jaise mere sare du:khoan ko ek kshan mean dhankakar udbhasit ho uthi.

sahasa ga di ke rukane par chakit hokar dekha to steshan a gaya hai. utarakar kh de hote hi ek aur vyakti koch-b aauks se shighratapoorvak utara aur usane mere pairoan par p dakar pranam kiya.

"kaun hai re, ratan?"

"baboo, videsh mean chakar ki zaroorat ho to mujhe khabar dijiega. jab tak jivit rahooanga. apaki seva mean truti n hogi."

ga di ki batti ki roshani usake muanh par p d rahi thi. maian vismit hokar bola, "too rota kyoan hai?"

ratan ne javab nahian diya, hath se aauankhean poanchhakar paanv ke pas phir jhukakar pranam kiya aur vah jaldi se andhakar mean adrishy ho gaya.

ashchary, yah vahi ratan hai!