श्रीकांत उपन्यास भाग-16

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

is sansar ka sabase b da saty yah hai ki manushy ko sadupadesh dene se koee fayada nahian hota- sath-paramarsh par koee jara bhi dhya n nahian deta. lekin chooanki yah saty hai, isalie daivath isaka vyatikram bhi hota hai. isaki ek ghatana sunata hooan.

baba ne daant nikalakar ashirvad diya aur atyant prasannata ke sath prasthan kiya. pooantoo ne bhi bahut sari pad-dhooli lekar adesh ka palan kiya. par unake chale jane ke bad mere paritap ki sima n rahi. man vidrohi hokar sirph tiraskar karane laga ki ye kaun hote haian jinhean videsh mean naukari kar anek kashtoan se sanchit kiya hua dhan de doge? sanakipan mean kuchh kah diya to kya usaka yah matalab hai ki data karn banana hi p dega? n jane kahaan ki is l daki ne bina maange hi tren mean pe de aur dahi khilakar mujhe to achchha phande mean phaansa! ek phande ko katate hue ek doosare phande mean phans gaya. bachane ka upay sochate ho dimag garm ho gaya, aur us nirih l daki ke prati krodh aur virakti ki sima n rahi. aur yah shaitan baba! manane laga ki vah ab ghar n pahuanch sake, raste mean hi sardi-garmi se mar jay. par yah asha bhittihin hai. achchhi tarah janata hooan ki vah adami kisi tarah bhi nahian marega aur jab use mere makan ka pata ek bar chal gaya hai to phir ayega, tatha chahe jaise bhi ho, rupaye vasool karega. ho sakata hai ki is bar unhian hakim phoopha mahashay ko bhi sath lave. ek hi upay hai- y: palayati s jivati. tikit kharidane gaya, par jahaz mean sthanabhav- sab tikit pahale se hi bik gaye haian. at: doosari mel ka inatajar karana hoga aur usamean abhi chhah-sat din ki der hai.

ek upay aur hai, ki makan badal diya jay, baba ko khojane par bhi n mile. par itani achchhi jagah itani jaldi kahaan milegi? kintu shikari ke hathoan pran bachane ke sambandh mean halat aisi najuk ho gayi hai ki achchhe-bure ka prashn hi gaun hai- yatharanyan tatha grihamh.

dar hai ki mera gupt udveg kahian ratan ki nazaroan mean n a jay. par mushkil to yah hai ki vah yahaan se talana hi nahian chahata. kashi ki apeksha use kalakatta zyada pasand a gaya hai. poochha, "chitthi ka javab lekar kya tum kal hi jana chahate ho, ratan?"

ratan ne phauran hi javab diya, "ji nahian. aj dopahar ko maianne maan ko ek post kard dal diya hai ki lautane mean mujhe char-paanch din ki der hogi. mrit sosayati (=ajayabaghar) aur jivit sosayati (=chi diyakhana) bina dekhe nahian jaooanga. ab phir kab ana ho, isaka to koee thikana nahian."

maianne kaha, "par ve to udvign ho sakati haian?"

"ji nahian. likh diya hai ki ga di mean lage hue dhakkoan ki thakan abhi tak door nahian huee hai."

"par chitthi ka javab..."

"ji, dijie n. kal hi rajistri se bhej dooanga. us makan mean maan ki chitthi kholane ka sahas yam bhi nahian karega."

chupachap baitha raha. naee-bete ke samane ek bhi tarakib nahian chali. sab prastavoan ko radd kar diya.

jate vakt baba rupayoan ki bat prachar kar gaye the. parantu koee is bat ka bhram n kar le ki unhoanne hriday ki udarata ya adhik saralata ke karan aisa kiya ho. ve to aisa karake gavah bana gaye haian!

ratan ne thik isi bat ka aandazalagaya. kaha, "baboo, agar ap naraz n hoan to ek bat kahooan."

"kya bat ratan?"

ratan ne kuchh sankoch ke sath kaha, "dhaee hazar rupaye to kam rakam nahian hai baboo, ve kaun hote haian jinaki shadi ke lie apane itana rupaya khamakhvah dene ko kaha hai? isake alava vah boodha baba ho ya aur koee, lekin achchha adami nahian hai. use dene kahana achchha nahian hua baboo."

usaka mantavy sunakar jaise anirvachaniy anand mila vaise hi man ko zor bhi mila aur yahi maian chahata tha. tathapi, apani avaz mean kianchith sandeh ka abhas dekar bola, "kahana thik nahian hua- kyoan ratan?"

ratan bola, "haan baboo, nishchay thik nahian hua. rupaye bhi to kam nahian haian, aur phir kisalie, kahie to?"

"thik to hai." maianne kaha, "to nahian deange."

ashchary se tho di der tak dekhane ke bad ratan ne kaha, "vah chho dega kyoan?"

maianne kaha, "nahian chho dega to kya karega? likhakar to diya hi nahian hai aur phir, yahi kaun janata hai ki us vakt maian yahaan rahooanga ya barma chala jaooanga?"

ratan kshanabhar chup rahakar hansa. bola, "baboo ap boodhe ko pahichan nahian sake. us adami ko sharm aur man-apaman chhoo tak nahian gaya hai. ro-dhokar, bhikh maangakar ya dara-dhamakakar vah rupaye kisi-n-kisi tarah lega hi. agar yahaan apase mulakat n hogi to l daki ko sath lekar vah kashi jayega aur maan se rupaya vasool karake chho dega! maan ko bahut sharm ayegi baboo, yah tarika thik nahian hai."

yah sunakar nistabdh ho baitha raha. ratan mujhase bahut zyada buddhiman hai. arthahin akasmik karuna ki hath ka jurmana mujhe dena hi p dega, koee nistar nahian.

ratan ne gaanv ke baba ko pahachanane mean galati nahian ki, yah tab samajh mean aya jabaki chauthe din ve phir lautakar aye. asha thi ki is bar hakim phoopha bhi unake sath avashy aveange- par hajir hue ve akele hi. bole, "beta, das gaanvoan mean dhany-dhany ho raha hai. sab kahate haian ki kaliyug mean aisa kabhi nahian suna. garib brahman ki kanya ka aisa uddhar kabhi kisi ne nahian dekha. ashirvad deta hooan ki tum chiranjivi hoo."

poochha, "shadi kab hai?"

"isi mahine ki pachchis tarikh thik huee hai, bich mean das din baki haian. kal 'dekhana' pakka ho jayega, ashirvad-qarib tin baje ke bad muhoort nahian hai, isake bhitar hi sab shubh kary poore kar lene hoange. par bina tumhare gaye sab band rahega, kuchh bhi nahian ho sakega. yah lo apani pooantoo ki chitthi, usane apane hath se likhakar bheji hai. par yah bhi kahe deta hooan beta, ki jis ratn ko tumane apani ichchha se kho diya, usaka jo d nahian hai." yah kahakar unhoanne ek pile rang ka mu da hua kagaz ka tuk da mere hathoan mean de diya.

kutoohalavash chitthi padhane ki koshish ki. baba ne achanak dirgh ni:shvas chho dakar kaha, "kalidas rupaye vala hai to kya hua, bilkual nich hai- chamar. usake lie aauankh ki sharm nam ki koee chiz hi nahian. kal hi rupaya-paisa sab nakad chukana hoga- gahane vagairah apane sunar se banavayega. vah kisi ka vishvas nahian karata, yahaan tak ki mera bhi nahian."

us adami mean b di kharabi hai. baba tak ka vishvas nahian karata- ashchary.

pooantoo ne apane hath se patr likha hai. ek-do pej nahian, balki thasathas bhare hue char pej. charoan pejoan mean katarata ke sath vinati hai. tren mean raanga didi ne kaha tha ki ajakal ke natak-n aauvil bhi har man lean. keval ajakal ke hi kyoan, sarvakal ke natak-n aauvil har man leange- yah asvikar nahian karooanga. is bat ka vishvas ho gaya ki is likhane ke prabhav se hi nandarani ka pati chaudah din ki chhutti lekar satavean din hi akar hajir ho gaya tha.

atev, doosare din subah maian bhi chal diya aur baba ne isaki jaanch khud apani aauankhoan se kar li ki maianne rupaye sachamuch hi apane sath le liye haian, koee pratarana to nahian kar raha hooan. bole-

"rasta chalana dekhakar, rupaya lena thok kar. are bhaee, ham devata to haian nahian, adami haian- bhool hote kya der lagati hai?"

thik to hai! ratan kal rat ko hi kashi chala gaya hai. usake hathoan chitthi ka javab bhej diya hai. likh diya hai- tathastu. pata is vajah se n de saka ki koee thik nahian hai. is truti ke lie apane gun se kshama kar neki bhi prarthana kar di hai.

yathasamay gaanv pahuancha, makan ke sab adamiyoan ki dushchinta door huee. jo adar aur samman mila, use batane ke lie kosh mean shabd nahian haian.

sambandh pakka karane aur ashirvad dene ke upalakshy mean kalidas baboo se parichay hua. vah jaise sookhe mizaj ke haian vaise hi dambhi bhi. sabako yah smaran karane ke alava ki ve bahut rupaye vale haian, aisa nahian maloom p da ki sansar mean aur koee doosara karttavy unaka hai. sara dhan khud unhian ka kamaya hua hai. b de ghamand se kaha, "janab, kismat ko maian nahian manata, jo kuchh karooanga vah sab apane bahubal se. devi-devataoan ke anugrah ki bhiksha bhi maian nahian maangata. maian kahata hooan ki devata ki duhaee kapurush dete haian."

b de adami aur chhote-mote tallukedar hone ke karan unake yahaan gaanv ke pray: sab adami upasthit the, aur shayad adhikaansh ke ve mahajan the aur bahut k de mahajan- atev sabane hi ek svar se unaki batean man lian. tarkaratn mahashay ne ek sanskrit ka shlok sunaya, aur asapas se usake sambandh mean do-ek purani kahaniyoan ka bhi sootrapat hua.

unhoanne ek aparichit aur sadharan vyakti samajhakar meri or asamman poorn drishti se dekha. us vakt rupayoan ke du:kh se mera hriday jal raha tha. vah drishti mujhe sahan nahian huee. maian ekaek bol utha, "yah to nahian janata kis pariman mean ap mean bahubal hai, par yah maian svikar karata hooan ki rupaye kamane ka jahaan tak saval hai, apaka bahubal prabal hai."

"isake mani?"

maianne kaha, "mani khud maian. n to var ko pahachanata hooan aur n kanya ko, phir bhi rupaye mere kharch ho rahe haian aur apake sandook mean pahuanch rahe haian. ise takadir nahian kahate to aur kya kahate haian? apane abhi kaha ki ap devi-devataoan ka anugrah nahian lete, lekin apake l dake ke hath ki aangoothi se lekar bahu ke gale ka har tak mere anugrah ke dan se banega. ho sakata hai ki bahoo-bhat ki davat tak ka intazam mujhe hi karana p de."

kamare mean vajrapat hone par bhi shayad sab log itane vyakul aur vichalit n hote. baba ne n jane kya kahane ki koshish ki, par kuchh bhi suspasht tha, suvyakt n ho saka. krodh mean kalidas baboo ne bhishan moortti dharan kar kaha, "ap rupaye de rahe haian, yah mujhe kaise maloom ho? aur de hi kyoan rahe haian?"

kaha, "kyoan de raha hooan yah ap nahian samajh sakate, apako samajhana bhi nahian chahata. par sara gaanv sun chuka hai ki maian rupaye de raha hooan, sirph apane hi nahian suna? l daki ki maan ne apake sare gharavaloan ke hath-pair jo de, par ap apane bi.e. pas l dake ka mooly dhaee hazar se ek paisa bhi kam karane ko raji nahian hue. l daki ka bap chalis rupaye mahine ki naukari karata hai, chalis paise dene ki bhi usamean shakti nahian- tab apane yah nahian socha ki apake l dake ko kharidane ke lie achanak usake pas itana rupaya kahaan se a gaya? kuchh bhi ho, l dake bechane ke rupaye bahut log lete haian, ap bhi lean to isamean buraee nahian. par isake bad gaanv valoan ko apane makan mean bulakar rupayoan ka ghamand aur n kijiega. aur yah bhi yad rakhiega ki apane ek bahar ke adami ke bhiksha-dan se l dake ki shadi ki hai."

udveg aur dar se sabaka muanh kala ho gaya. shayad sabane yah socha ki ab kuchh bhayankar ghatana hogi aur kalidas baboo phatak band karavakar lathiyoan se pite bina kisi ko bhi ghar se vapas n jane deange. par, tho di der tak chup baithe rahane ke bad unhoanne muanh oopar uthakar kaha, "maian rupaye nahian looanga."

maianne kaha, "isake mani yah ki ap l dake ki shadi yahaan nahian kareange."

kalidas baboo ne sir hilakar kaha, "nahian, yah nahian. maianne vachan diya hai ki shadi karooanga- isamean jara bhi farq n hoga. kalidas mukharji kahi huee bat ke khilaf kam nahian karata. apaka nam kya hai?"

baba ne vyagr kanth se mera parichay diya. kalidas baboo ne pahichanakar kaha, "o:-thik hai. inake bap ke sath ek bar mera bahut jabaradast faujadari mamala chala tha."

baba ne kaha, "ji haan ap kuchh bhi nahian bhoolate. ye unhian ke l dake haian aur rishte mean mere nati hote haian."

kalidas baboo ne prasann kanth se kaha, "thik hai. mera b da l daka agar zinda rahata to itana hi b da hota. shashadhar ki shadi mean ana, beta. hamari or se us din tumhara nimantran raha."

shashadhar upasthit tha. usane ek bar kritajn netroan se meri or dekha aur phauran hi muanh nicha kar liya.

maianne uthakar pranam kiya. kaha, "chahe jahaan bhi rahooan, lekin kam-se-kam bahoo-bhat ke din akar navavadhoo ke hath ka ann kha jaooanga. par maianne bahut-si apriy batean kahi haian, ap mujhe kshama kareange."

kalidas baboo bole, "yah sach hai ki apriy batean kahi haian, par maianne kshama bhi kar diya hai. abhi jane ka kam nahian shrikant, shubh kary ke upalaksh mean maianne tho da-sa khane ka bhi ayojan kiya hai. tumhean khakar jana hoga."

"jaisa kaheange vahi hoga," kahakar phir baith gaya.

us din patr ko ashirvad dene se lekar upasthit abhyagatoan ke khane-pine tak ke sare kam nirvighn susampann ho gaye. is adhyanay ke prarambh mean sadupadeshak ke bare mean jis niyam ka ullekh kiya tha, usake vyatikram ka ek udaharan pooantoo ka vivah hai. sansar mean sirph yahi ek udaharan apani aauankhoan se dekha hai. karan, ni:samparkiy, aparichit, abhagi l daki ke bap ka kan aianthate hi jahaan rupaye vasool hote hoan, vahaan vaishnav banakar hath jo dane par bagh ke gras se nistar nahian milata. nishthur, nirday ityadi gali-galauj karake samaj aur takadir ko dhikkarane par kianchith kshobh mit sakata hai, par pratikar nahian hota, kyoanki doolhe ke bap ke hath mean pratikar nahian hai, vah to l daki ke bap ke hathoan mean hi hai.

000

gauhar ki khoj mean ane par navin se mulakat huee. vah mujhe dekhakar khush hua. lekin usaka mizaj bahut rookha tha. bola, "jakar vaishnaviyoan ke ashram mean dekhie, kal se to ghar hi nahian aye haian."

"yah kya majara hai navin! yah vaishnavi kahaan se a gayi?"

"ek vaishnavi nahian, poora ka poora ek dal a juta hai!"

"ve kahaan rahati haian?"

"yahian muraripur ke akha de mean." kahakar navin ne ek ni:shvas chho da, phir kaha, "hay baboo, ab n to ve ram haian aur n vah ayodhaya. boodhe mathuradas babaji ke marate hi unaki jagah ek chhokara vairagi a gaya hai, usake koee char ganda seva-dasi haian. dvarikadas vairagi se hamare baboo ki b di mitrata hai- vahian to pray: rahate haian."

chakit hokar poochha, "par tumhare baboo to musalaman haian. vaishnav-vairagi apane ashram mean unhean rahane kaise deange?"

navin ne naraj hokar kaha, "in sab baul sannyasiyoan ko kya dharmadharm ka jnan hai? ye jati-janm kuchh bhi nahian manate. jo bhi koee unhean milata hai, ve use hi apane dal mean khianch lete haian, soch-vichar kuchh nahian karate."

poochha, "par us bar jab maian tumhare yahaan chhah-sat din tha, tab to gauhar ne unake bare mean kuchh nahian kaha?"

navin bola, "kahate to kamalalata ke gun-avagun zahir nahian ho jate? sirph un kee dinoan hi baboo akha de ke pas nahian gaye. par jaise hi ap gaye vaise hi k aaupi aur kalam lie baboo akha de akha degean mean ja dhamake."

prashn karane par maloom hua ki dvarika baul gana gane aur dohe banane mean siddhahast hai. gauhar is pralobhan mean phans gaya. usako kavita sunata hai, usase apani galatiyoan ka sanshodhan kara leta hai aur kamalalata ek yuvati vaishnavi hai- usi ashram mean rahati hai. vah dekhane mean achchhi hai, gana achchha gati hai. usaki batean sunakar log mugdh ho jate haian. kabhi-kabhi vaishnavoan ki seva ke lie gauhar rupaye-paise bhi deta hai. akha de ki purani divar jirn hokar gir gayi thi, gauhar ne apane kharche se usaki marammat kara di hai. yah kam usane us sampraday ke logoan ke agochar chupachap hi kiya hai.

mujhe yad aya ki bachapan mean is akha de ke bare mean batean suni thian. purane jamane mean mahaprabhu ke ek bhakt shishy ne is akha de ki pratishtha ki thi. tab se shishy-parampara ke anusar vaishnav isamean vas karate a rahe haian. atyant kutoohal paida hua. kaha, "navin, mujhe ek bar akha da dikha sakoge?"

navin ne sir hilakar inakar kiya. bola, "mujhe bahut kam hai aur ap to isi desh ke adami haian, khud hi n khoj sakeange? adha kos se zyada door nahian, is samane ke raste se uttar ki or sidhe jane par hi apako dikhaee de jayega, kisi se poochhana nahian p dega. samane vale talab ke niche vrindavan-lila ho rahi hogi. door se hi kanoan mean avaz pahuanch jayegi-dhooandhana nahian p dega."

mere jane ka prastav navin ne shuroo se hi pasand nahian kiya. maianne poochha, "vahaan kya hota hai- kirtan?"

navin ne kaha, "haan, din-rat khraj di aur karatal ko chain nahian milati."

maianne hansakar kaha, "yah to achchha hi hai navin. jaooan, gauhar ko pak d laooan."

is bar navin bhi hansa, bola, "haan, jaie. par dekhiega ki vahaan kamalalata ka kirtan sunakar kahian ap khud hi n atak jaany."

"dekhooan, kya hota hai." kahakar hansata hua tisare pahar kamalalata vaishnavi ke akha de mean jane ke lie chal diya.

akha de ka pata jab chala tab shayad sham ho chuki thi. door se kirtan ya khanj di-karatal ki dhvanni to sunaee nahian di, par suprachin bakul ka vriksh phauran hi najar a gaya, jisake niche tooti huee vedi hai. par ek bhi vyakti dikhaee nahian diya. ek kshin path ki rekha tedhi-medhi hokar parakote ke kinare-kinare nadi ki or chali gayi hai. anuman kiya ki udhar shayad kisi se kuchh khabar mile, atev udhar hi pair badhaye. galati nahian ki. shirn-sankirn shaival se dhaki huee nadi ke kinare ek parishkrit aur gobar se puti huee kuchh uchch bhoomi par gauhar aur doosare ek vyakti baithe haian. aandazalagaya ki ye hi vairagi dvarikadas haian- akha de ke vartaman adhikari. nadi ka kinara hone ki vajah se vahaan us vakt tak sandhyah ka andhakar ghana nahian hua tha, babaji ko bahut achchhi tarah se dekh saka. dekhane mean vah adami bhadr aur ooanchi jati ka hi jan p da. varn shyam, dubala-patala hone ke karan kuchh lamba maloom hota hai, mathe ke bal jata ki tarah samane ki or bandhe hue haian, mooanchh-dadhi zyada nahian hai-tho di hai. aauankhoan mean aur muanh par ek svabhavik hansi ka bhav hai. umr ka thik aandazanahian laga saka, to bhi paiantis-chhattis se zyada nahian jan p di. donoan mean kisi ne bhi mere agaman aur upasthiti par lakshy nahian kiya, donoan hi nadi ke us par pashchim digant mean aauankhean g daye stabdh bane rahe. vahaan nana rang aur nana prakar ke meghoan ke tuk doan ke bich tritiya ka kshin paandurang chandrama chamak raha hai. mano usake kapal ke bich mean atyujval saandhyan-tara udit ho raha hai. bahut niche dikhaee dete haian door gramoan ke nile pe d-paudhoan-ka manoan inaka kahian ant nahian, sima nahian. kale, saphed, pile-nana rangoan ke toote-phate badaloan par us vakt bhi astangat soory ki shesh dipti khel rahi thi- thik vaise hi jaise ki kisi dusht l dake ke hath mean rang ki toolika p d jane se tasavir ka poora shraddh ho raha ho. yah anand kshanabhar hi raha- kyoanki itane mean hi chitrakar ne akar kan mal diye aur hath se toolika chhin li.

us svalpatoya nadi ka tho da-sa hissa shayad gaanv valoan ne saf kar liya hai. samane ke us svachchh kale aur tho de pani par chhoti-chhoti rekhaoan mean chandrama aur saandhyi tare ka prakash pas-pas hi pak dakar jhilamila raha hai- mano sunar kasauti par sona ghisakar dam jaanch raha ho. pas hi kahian van mean saik doan van-mallikaean khili haian aur mano unaki gandh se sari vayu bhari ho uthi hai. nikat ke hi kisi pe d ke asankhy chi diyoan ke ghoansaloan se unake bachchoan ki ek-si chian-chian vichitr madhurata se kanoan mean aviram a rahi hai. yah sab thik hai, aur tadgat-chitt jo do adami j d-bharat ki tarah baithe hue haian, isamean sandeh nahian, ve bhi kavi haian. par sham ke vakt is jangal mean maian yah sab dekhane nahian aya hooan. navin ne kaha tha ki vaishnaviyoan ka ek dal ka dal yahaan hai aur unamean kamalalata vaishnavi sabase shreshth haian. ve kahaan haian? pukara, "gauhar." dhyatan bhangakar gauhar hatabuddhi ki tarah meri or takata rah gaya.

babaji ne use jara hilakar kaha, "gusaeean, ye hi tumhare shrikant haian n?"

gauhar ne tezise uthakar mujhe b de zor se bahupash mean abaddh kar liya, is tarah ki jaise usaka vah aveg rukana hi nahian chahata ho. kisi tarah maian apane ko mukt kar baith gaya. bola, "gusaeean ji ne mujhe ekaek kaise pahichan liya?"

baba ji ne hath hilaya, "yah nahian hoga gusaeean, isamean se adar-vachak 'ji' bad dena hoga. tab hi to ras ayega."

maianne kaha, "achchha, bad de diya. lekin ekaek mujhe kaise pahichana?"

babaji ne kaha, "ekaek kaise pahachanooanga? tum to vrindavan ke hamare pahachane hue ho gusaeean, aur tumhari donoan aauankhean to ras ki samudr haian jo dekhate hi aauankhoan mean bhar jati haian. jis din kamalalata aee thi, usaki donoan aauankhean bhi aisi hi thian, use dekhate hi pahichan gaya aur bol utha, 'kamalalata, kamalalata, itane dinoan kahaan thi?" kamal akar jo apani ho gayi to usaka adi-ant, virah-vichchhed nahian raha. yahi to sadhana hai gusaeean, isi ko to kahata hooan ras ki diksha."

maianne kaha, "kamalalata dekhane hi to aya hooan gusaeean, vah kahaan hai?"

babaji bahut khush hue. bole, "use dekhoge? par gusaeean, tum usase aparichit nahian ho, vrindavan mean use anek bar dekha hai. shayad bhool gaye ho, par dekhate hi pahichan jaoge ki vah kamalalata hai. gusaeean, use ek bar pukaro n!" kahakar babaji ne gauhar ko pukarane ka ishara kiya. inake nikat sab 'gusaeean' haian. bole, "kaho ki shrikant tumhean dekhane aya hai."

gauhar ke chale jane ke bad poochha, "gusaeean, mere bare mean sari batean shayad gauhar ne tumhean bataee haian?"

babaji ne sir hilakar kaha, "haan, sab bataya hai. jab usase poochha ki 'gusaeean, tum chhah-sat din kyoan nahian aye? to usane kaha ki shrikant aye the." yah bhi usane kaha ki 'tum phir jaldi hi aoge." yah bhi maloom hua ki tum barma jane vale ho."

sunakar santosh ki saans chho dakar man hi man maianne kaha, raksha huee. dar tha ki vastav mean kisi alaukik adhh‍yatmik shakti-bal ke karan to ye mujhe dekhate hi nahian pahichan gaye haian. kuchh bhi ho, yah manana hi p dega ki mere bare mean is kshetr mean unaka aandazagalat nahian hai.

babaji achchhe hi jan p de. kam-se-kam asadhu prakriti ke nahian maloom hue. bahut saral. yah babaji ne saralata se svikar kar liya ki n jane kyoan gauhar ne meri sab batean- arthath jitana vah janata hai, in logoan se kah di haian. kavita aur vaishnav-ras-charcha mean ve kuchh-kuchh sanaki-se-kuchh vibhrant se maloom hue.

tho di der bad hi gauhar- gusaeean ke sath kamalalata akar hajir huee. umr tis se zyada nahian hogi-shyamavarn, ikahara badan, hath mean kuchh choo diyaan haian pital ki- sone ki bhi ho sakati haian. bal chhote-chhote nahian haian, girah dekar pith par jhool rahi haian. gale mean tulasi ki mala aur hath ki thaili ke bhitar bhi tulasi ki japamala haian. chhape-ape ka bahut zyada adambar nahian hai, athava subah ke vakt to tha, par is vakt kuchh mit gaya hai. usake muanh ki or dekhakar maian atyant ashcharyanvit ho gaya. savismay yah khayal hone laga ki in aauankhoan ka aur chehare ka bhav to jaise parichit hai, aur chalane ka dhang bhi jaise pahale kahian dekha hai.

vaishnavi ne bat shuroo ki. phauran hi samajh gaya ki vah niche ke star ki prani nahian hai. usane kisi tarah ki bhoomika nahian baandhi. meri or sidhe dekhakar kaha, ?"kaho gusaeean, pahichan sakate ho?"

maianne kaha, "nahian. lekin aisa lagata hai ki jaise kahian dekha hai."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "vrindavan mean dekha tha. b de gusaeean ji se nahian suna?"

maianne kaha, "so suna hai. par maian to janm-bhar kabhi vrindavan nahian gaya."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "gaye kaise nahian? bahut purani bat hai, isalie achanak yad nahian a rahi hai. vahaan gayean charate, phal to dakar late, van-phooloan ki mala gooanthakar hamare gale mean pahanate-sab bhool gaye?" yah kahakar vah hothoan ko dabakar dhire-dhire hansane lagi.

maianne yah to samajha ki majak kar rahi hai. par yah thik nahian kar saka ki mera ya b de gusaeean ji ka, boli, "rat ho rahi hai, ab jangal mean kyoan baithe ho? bhitar chalo."

maianne kaha, "jangal ke raste hamean bahut door jana hoga. kal phir ayeangi."

vaishnavi ne poochha, "yahaan ka pata kisane bataya? navin ne?"

"haan, usi ne."

kamalalata ki bat nahian bataee?"

"haan, bataee thi."

is bare mean tumhean savadhan nahian kiya ki vaishnavi ka jal to dakar achanak bahar nahian jaya ja sakata?"

hansate hue bola, "haan, yah bhi kaha hai."

vaishnavi hans p di. boli, "navin hoshiyar maanjhi hai. usaki batean n manakar achchha nahian kiya."

"kyoan bhala?"

vaishnavi ne isaka javab nahian diya. gauhar ko dikhate hue kaha, "gusaeean ne kaha tha ki naukari karane ke lie videsh ja rahe ho. par tumhare to koee nahian hai, phir naukari kyoan karoge?"

"tab kya karooan?"

"ham jo karati haian. govindaji ka prasad to koee chhin nahian sakata!"

"yah janata hooan. par vairagagiri mere lie nayi nahian hai."

vaishnavi ne hansakar kaha, "samajhati hooan. shayad prakriti sahan nahian karati?"

"nahian, zyada din sahan nahian karati."

vaishnavi hoth dabakar hansi. boli, "tumhara kam achchha hai. bhitar ao, un logoan se tumhara parichay kara dooan. yahaan kamaloan ka van hai."

"suna hai, par aandhere mean lauteange kaise?"

vaishnavi phir hansi, boli, "aandhere mean ham lautane hi kyoan deangi? andhakar door to hoga hi. tab jana. ao."

'chalo."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "gaur! gaur!"

"gaur-gaur" kahate hue maianne bhi anusaran kiya.

000

halaanki dharmacharan mean meri ruchi aur vishvas nahian hai, kintu jinaka vishvas hai unako badha nahian pahuanchata. man mean bina sanshay ke janata hooan ki maian is gurutar vishay ka or-chhor kabhi n khoj paooanga. tathapi, dharmikoan ki maian bhakti karata hooan. vikhyat svamiji aur sukhyat sadhooji- kisi ki bhi chhoa nahian kahata, donoan ki hi vani mere kanoan mean saman madhu ki varsha karati hai.

visheshajnoan ke manh se suna hai ki bangal ki adhh‍yatmik sadhana ka nigoodh rahasy vaishnav sampraday mean hi sugupt hai, aur yahi bangal ki khalis apani chiz hai. isake pahale sannyasi aur sadhuoan ki tho di-bahut sangat ki hai. phal-labh ka vivaran zahir karane ki ichchha nahian hai. par is dapha agar daivath khalis chiz nasib hoti ho to sankalp kiya ki is mauke ko vyarth nahian jane dooanga. pooantoo ke bahoo-bhat ke nimantran mean mujhe jana hi hoga. kam-se-kam kalakatte ke ni:sang mais ke badale ye kee din agar is vaishnavi-akha de ke asapas kahian katane p dean to aur chahe jo ho, jivan ke sanchay mean vishesh nukasan n hoga.

andar akar dekha ki kamalalata ka kahana jhooth nahian tha. vahaan vakee kamaloan ka hi van hai, par dalit-vidalit. matt hathiyoan se sakshat to nahian hua, par unake bahut se padachihn vidyaman the. nana umr aur tarah-tarah ke cheharoan ki vaishnaviyaan nana kamoan mean lagi huee haian- koee laddoo bana rahi hai, koee maida gooandha rahi hai, koee phal-mool tarash rahi haian- yah sab thakuraji ke rat ke bhog ki taiyariyaan haian. ek apekshakrit chhoti umr ki vaishnavi dhyaranamagn ho phooloan ki mala gooanth rahi hai aur ek usi ke nikat baithi huee nana rang ke chhape hue chhote-chhote kap doan ke tuk de savadhani se kuanchit karake dhang se rakh rahi hai. sambhavat: shrigovindaji kal snan ke bad unhean pahaneange. koee bhi khali nahian hai. unaka kam mean agrah aur ekagrata dekhakar ashchary hota hai. sabane meri or taka, par nimesh-matr ke lie. kutoohal ka avasar nahian hai. sabake hoth hil rahe haian, shayad man hi man jap ho raha hai. idhar samay khatm ho gaya hai. ek-ek karake diye jalane shuroo ho gaye haian. kamalalata ne kaha, "chalo bhagavan ko namaskar kar ayean. kintu, achchha, yah to batao ki tumhean kya kahakar pukarooan? 'naye gusaeean' kahakar pukarooan to kaisa?"

¹ 'gaur' ka matalab yahaan gauraang-mahaprabhu ya chaitanyadev se hai.

maianne kaha, "kyoan nahian pukaratian? tumhare yahaan jab gauhar tak 'gauhar gusaeean' ho gaya hai, tab maian to kam-se-kam brahman ka l daka hooan. par mere apane nam ne kya buraee ki hai? usi ke sath 'gusaeean' jo d do n."

kamalalata ne hoth dabakar hansate hue kaha, "yah nahian hoga thakur, nahian hoga. vah nam maian nahian le sakati- aparadh hota hai. ao."

"ata hooan, par aparadh kisaka?"

"kisaka-yah sunakar tum kya karoge; tum to khoob ho!"

jo vaishnavi mala gooanth rahi thi vah hans p di aur usane muanh nicha kar liya. thakuraji ke kamare mean kale patthar aur pital ki radha-krishna ki yugal moortiyaan haian. ek nahian, bahut-si. yahaan bhi paanch-chhah vaishnaviyaan kam mean lagi huee haian. arati ka vakt ho raha hai, saans lene ki bhi phursat nahian hai.

bhaktipoorvak yathariti pranam kar bahar a gaya. thakuraji ke kamare ke alava aur sab kamare mitti ke haian, par sanbhal-saphaee ki sima nahian hai. bina asan ke kahian bhi baithate sankoch nahian hota, tathapi kamalalata ne samane ke baramade mean ek or asan bichha diya. kaha, "baitho, tumhare rahane ka kamara jara thik kar aooan."

"mujhe kya aj yahian rahana p dega?"

"kyoan, dar kya hai? mere rahate tumhean takaliph nahian hogi."

maianne kaha, "takaliph ke lie nahian kahata, par gauhar jo naraj hoga."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "yah bhar mere oopar hai. mere rakhane par tumhara mitr jara bhi naraj n hoga." kahakar vah hansati huee chali gayi.

maian akela baitha hua anyany vaishnaviyoan ka kam dekhane laga. sachamuch hi unake pas nasht karane ko jara bhi vakt nahian hai. meri or kisi ne ghoomakar bhi nahian dekha. qarib das minat bad jab kamalalata lautakar ayi tab kam khatm kar sab uth gayi thian. poochha, "tum is math ki adhikarini ho kya?"

kamalalata ne jibh katakar kaha, "ham sab govindaji ki dasi haian- koee chhota-b da nahian hai. ek-ek par ek ek ka bhar hai. mere oopar prabhoo ne yah bhar diya hai." kahakar usane mandir ke uddeshy se hath jo dakar sir se laga liye. kaha, "ab kabhi aisi bat jaban par mat lana."

maianne kaha, "aisa hi hoga. achchha, b de gusaeean aur gauhar gusaeean kyoan nahian dikhaee de rahe haian?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "ve abhi ate hi hoange. nadi mean snan karane gaye haian."

"itani rat ko? aur is nadi mean?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "haan."

"gauhar bhi?"

"haan, gauhar gusaeean bhi."

"par mujhe hi kyoan nahian snan karaya?"

"vaishnavi ne hansakar kaha, "ham kisi ko snan nahian karatian. ve apane ap karate haian. bhagavan ki daya hone par ek din tum bhi karoge aur us din mana karane par bhi nahian manoge."

maianne kaha, "gauhar bhagyavan hai. par mere pas to rupaya nahian hai. maian garib adami hooan, is karan shayad mere prati paramatma ki daya n ho."

vaishnavi shayad ishara samajh gayi, aur naraj hokar kuchh kahane vali hi thi par kaha nahian. phir boli, "gauhar gusaeean kuchh bhi hoan par tum bhi garib nahian ho. jo adami dher rupaya dekar doosare ki l daki ka uddhar karata hai, bhagavan use garib nahian manate. tumhare oopar bhi daya hona ashchary nahian hai."

maianne kaha, "tab to vah dar ki bat hai. to bhi, kismat mean jo likha hai vah hoga hi, tala nahian ja sakata- par poochhata hooan ki kanya ke uddhar ki khabar tumhean kahaan se mili?"

vaishnavi ne kah, "hamean char jagah se bhikh maangani p dati hai, isalie hamean sab khabarean mil jati haian."

"par yah khabar shayad abhi tak nahian mili hai ki mujhe rupaye dekar l daki ka uddhar nahian karana p da?"

vaishnavi kuchh vismit huee. boli, "nahian, yah khabar nahian mili. par hua kya, shadi toot gayi?"

"shadi nahian tooti, lekin kalidas baboo toot gaye haian- khud doolha ke bap hi. l dake ko bechakar doosare ki bhiksha ke dan se mile hue dahej ko hath pasarakar lene mean unhean sharm aee. isase maian bhi bach gaya." kahakar maianne sara mamala sankshep mean bata diya. vaishnavi ne savismay kaha, "kahate kya ho ji, yah to bilkuanl anahoni bat huee!"

"eeshvar ki daya. sirph gauhar gusaeean hi kya aandhere mean gandi nadi ke pani mean gote lagayega, sansar mean aur kahian bhi kuchh anahoni bat nahian hogi? unaki lila hi phir kis tarah zahir hogi, bolo?" kahakar jaise hi maianne vaishnavi ka muanh dekha vaise hi samajh gaya ki yah thik nahian hua- sima laangh gaya hooan. vaishnavi ne kintu prativad nahian kiya, mandir ki or hath uthakar usane sirph ni:shabd namaskar kar liya. mano anaparadha ko kshama karane ki bhiksha maangi.

ek vaishnavi ek b de thal mean maida ki pooriyaan liye hue samane se thakuraji ke kamare ki or nikal gayi. use dekhakar kaha, "aj tumhare yahaan samaroh hai. shayad koee khas tyauhar hai-nahian?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "nahian, aj koee tyauhar nahian hai. yah hamare yahaan ka roj ka hissa hai. thakuraji ki daya se kabhi kami nahian hoti."

"khushi ki bat hai. par ayojan shayad rat ko hi zyada hota hai?"

vaishnavi boli, "so bhi nahian. seva mean subah-sham ka koee saval hi nahian hai. yadi daya karake do din rah jao to khud hi sab dekh loge. ham sab dasi ki dasi haian, unaki seva karane ke alava sansar mean hamara aur koee kam to hai hi nahian." kahakar usane mandir ki or hath jo dakar phir ek bar namaskar kiya.

poochha, "dinabhar tum logoan ko kya-kya karana hota hai?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "akar jo dekha, vahi."

"akar dekha masala kootana, rasoee ke lie tarakari banana, doodh duhana mala gooanthana, kap de rangana-aise hi aur bahut se kam. tum sab dinabhar kya sirph yahi kiya karati ho?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "haan, dinabhar sirph yahi karati haian."

"par yah sab to keval ghar-grihasthi ke kam haian, sabhi auratean karati haian. tum bhajan-sadhan kab karati ho?'

vaishnavi boli, "yahi hamari bhajan-sadhana hai."

"yah rasoee banana, pani bharana, kootana-phatakana, mala gooanthana, kap de rangana- isi ko 'sadhana' kahate haian?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "haan, isi ko sadhana kahate haian. das-dasiyoan ki isase badhakar sadhana hamean aur kahaan milegi gusaeean?" kahate-kahate usaki donoan sajal aauankhean mano anirvachaniy madhurata se paripoorn ho uthian. ekaek mujhe khayal hua ki is apirichit vaishnavi ka muanh jitana sundar hai, utana sundar muanh maianne sansar mean kabhi nahian dekha. kaha, "kamalalata, tumhara makan kahaan hai?"

vaishnavi ne aauanchal se aauankhean poanchhakar hansate hue kaha, "pe d ki chhaya."

"par pe d ki chhaya to hamesha n thi?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "tab tha eeant aur kath ke bane hue kisi makan ka ek chhota-sa kamara. par kahani sunane ka vakt to ab nahian hai gusaeean . mere sath ao, tumhara naya kamara dikha dooan."

kamara badhiya hai. usane baans ki khooanti par tanga hua ek saf resham ka kap da dikhate hue kaha, "yah pahanakar thakuraji ke kamare mean ana. dekho, der n karana." kahakar vah tezise chali gayi.

ek or ek chhote se takht par bichhauna bichha hai. nikat hi ek chauki par kuchh kitabean aur ek thali mean bakul-phool rakhe haian. abhi-abhi koee pradip jalakar shayad dhoop jala gaya hai, kamara ab bhi usaki gandh aur dhuean se bhara hua tha- bahut achchha laga. dinabhar ki klanti to thi hi- thakur-devataoan se hamesha door-door rahata aya hooan; udhar akarshan nahian tha- at: kap de utar kar dhap se bichhaune par let gaya. jane yah kisaka kamara hai, ek rat ke lie vaishnavi ne jane kisaki shayya mujhe udhar de gayi hai- athava shayad yah usi ki hai- in sab vicharoan se mera man svabhavat: hi bahut sankoch anubhav karata hai. par aj kuchh bhi khayal n hua, mano n jane kab se parichit apane hi adamiyoan ke pas a pahuancha hooan. shayad kuchh tandra a gayi thi ki itane mean hi jaise kisi ne daravaze ke bahar se avaz di, "naye gusaeean, mandir nahian jaoge? ve tumhean bula jo rahe haian."

chatapat uth baitha. manjire ke sath-sath kirtan ke gane ki avaz bhi kanoan mean pahuanchi. bahut se adamiyoan ka samavet kolahal hi nahian tha; gey vastu bhi jitani madhur thi utani hi spasht thi. stri ka kanth tha- bina aauankhoan se dekhe hi nissandeh anuman kiya ki kamalalata hai. navin ka vishvas hai ki is mithe svar ne hi usake malik ko phaans liya hai. socha ki yah asambhav nahian hai aur bahut asangat bhi nahian hai.

mandir mean ghusakar ek or chupachap baith gaya, kisi ne phirakar nahian dekha. sabaki drishti radha-krishna ki yugal-moorti par lagi thi. bich mean kh di huee kamalalata kirtan kar rahi hai-

madan gopal jay jay yashoda ke lal ki,

yashoda ke lal jay jay, jay nandalal ki.

nandalal jay jay giridhari lal ki,

giridhari lal jay jay govind-gopal ki ॥

in tho de-sahaj aur sadharan shabdoan ke alo dan se bhaktoan ka gambhir vaksh:sthal mathit hokar kaun-sa amrit tarangit ho uthata hai, yah mere lie upalabdh karana kathin hai. par dekha ki upasthit vyaktiyoan mean se kisi ki bhi aauankhean shushk nahian haian. gayika ki donoan aauankhoan ko plavit kar jhar-jhar ashru jhar rahe haian aur bhavoan ke gurubhar se bich-bich mean usaka kanth-svar jaise toot jata hai. maian in rab rasoan ka rasik nahian hooan, lekin mere man ke bhitar bhi ekaek n jane kaisa hone laga. dvarikadas babaji aauankhean mooande ek divar ka sahara liye baithe the. yah pata nahian chala ki ve sachet haian ya achet. aur sirph tho di der pahale ki snigdh hasy-parihas-chanchal kamalalata hi nahian, balki sadharan grih-karm mean niyukta jo sab vaishnaviyaan abhi tak sadharan, tuchchh aur kuroop lagi thian, ve bhi mano is dhoop ke dhuean se achchhann grih ke anujjval dip ke prakash mean kshanabhar ke lie meri najaroan mean atyant sundar ho uthian. mujhe bhi mano aisa laga ki patthar ki yah nikatavarti moorti yatharth mean aauankhean malakar dekh rahi hai aur kan lagakar kirtan ka samast madhury upabhog kar rahi hai.

bhavoan ki is vihval-mugdhata se maian bahut darata hooan, vyast hokar bahar chala aya- kisi ne lakshy bhi nahian kiya. dekhata hooan ki praangan ke ek kone mean gauhar baitha hai aur kahian se prakash ki ek rekha akar usake sharir par p d rahi hai. mere pairoan ki avaz se usaka dhya n bhang nahian hua, par us ekant samahit muanh ki taraph maian bhi n hil saka, vahian stabdh ho kh da raha. aisa laga ki sirph mujhako hi akela chho dakar is jagah ke sab vyakti aur kisi doosare lok mean chale gaye haian- jahaan ka path maian nahian pahachanata. kamare mean ja, roshani bujhakar let gaya. yah achchhi tarah se janata hooan ki jnan, vidya aur buddhi mean maian in sabase b da hooan, tathapi n jane kisi ki vyatha se andar hi andar man rone laga aur vaise hi anajan karan se aauankhoan ke konoan se pani ki b di-b di booandean girane lagian.

pata nahian ki kitani der se so raha tha. kan mean bhanak p di, "are naye gusaeean?"

jagakar uth baitha, "kaun?"

"maian hooan tumhari sham ki bandhu- itana sote ho?"

aandhere kamare mean chaukhat ke pas kamalalata vaishnavi kh di thi. bola, "jagane se kya fayada hota? sone mean samay ka kuchh sadupayog to hua."

"yah maloom hai. par thakur ka prasad nahian loge?"

"looanga."

"to phir, so kyoan rahe ho?"

"janata hooan ki koee dikkat nahian hogi, prasad to milega hi. mera sham ka bandhu rat ko bhi parityag nahian karega."

vaishnavi ne sahasy kaha, "yah adhikar vaishnavoan ko hai, tum logoan ko nahian."

"asha milane par vaishnav hote kya der lagati hai? tumane gauhar tak ko gusaeean bana dala, to maian hi kya itani avahelana ka patr hooan? ajna hone par vaishnavoan ka dasanudas hone ko bhi raji hooan."

kamalalata ka kanth svar kuchh gambhir hua. kaha, "vaishnavoan ki hansi nahian u dani chahie, gusaeean, aparadh hota hai. gauhar gusaeean ko bhi tumane galat samajha hai. unake apane adami unhean kaphir kahate haian, par nahian janate ki ve pakke musalaman haian, pita-pitamah ke dharm-vishvas ko inhoanne nahian tyaga hai."

"par usaka bhav dekhane par to yah maloom nahian hota."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "yahi to ashchary hai. par ab deri mat karo, ao." phir kuchh sochakar kaha, "ya prasad hi tumhean yahian de jaooan- kya kahate ho?"

"apatti nahian. par gauhar kahaan hai? vah ho to donoan ko ek sath hi do n."

"unake sath baithakar khaoge?"

"hamesha hi to khata hooan. bachapan mean usaki maan ne mujhako bahut khilaya hai. aur us vakt tumhare prasad ki apeksha vah kam mitha nahian hota tha. isake alava gauhar bhakt hai, gauhar kavi hai- kavi ki jati ki khoj nahian ki jati."

us andhakar mean bhi aisa laga ki vaishnavi ne ek saans ko daba liya. phir kaha, 'gauhar gusaeean nahian hai. vah kab chale gaye, hamean pata nahian."

maianne kaha, "maianne dekha tha ki gauhar aauangan mean baitha hai. use kya tum bhitar nahian jane detian?"

vaishnavi ne kaha, "nahian."

"gauhar ko aj maianne dekha tha. kamalalata, mere majak se tum naraj ho gayian, kintu tum bhi apane devata ke sath kam hansi nahian kar rahi ho. yah bat nahian ki aparadh sirph ek taraph se hi hota ho."

vaishnavi ne is prashn ka koee javab nahian diya. vah chupachap bahar chali gayi. tho di der bad hi usane ek doosari vaishnavi ke hathoan roshani aur asan tatha khud prasad ka patr lekar pravesh kiya. kaha, "naye gusaeean, atithi-seva mean truti ho sakati hai, par yahaan ka sab kuchh thakuraji ka prasad hai."

maianne hansakar kaha, "o sandhyai ki bandhu, yah koee dar ki bat nahian, vaishnav n hote hue bhi tumhare naye gusaeean mean ras-bodh hai, atithy ki truti ke lie vah ras-bhang nahian karega. jo hai rakh do- lautakar dekhogi ki prasad ka ek kan bhi baki nahian hai."

"thakuraji ka prasad aise hi to khaya jata hai," yah kah aur sir nicha kar kamalalata ne sari khady-samagri ek-ek kar silasilevar saja di.

doosare din bahut sabere hi niand toot gayi. bhari naga de ki avaz ke sath mangal arati shuroo ho gayi hai. prabhati ke sur mean kirtan ka pad kan mean p da-

kanh-gale banamala biraje, radha-gale moti sajaian.

arun charan dou noo purashobhit, chakh lakh khanjan lajaian.

isake bad dinabhar thakuraji ki seva hoti rahi. pooja-path, kirtan, nahalana, khana-khilana, badan poanchhana, chandan lagana, mala pahanana- isamean jara bhi viram aur vichchhed nahian p da. sab vyast haian, sab niyukt haian. aisa laga ki ye patthar ke devata hi yah ashtapraharavyapi anant seva sah sakate haian, aur koee hota to aise jabaradast upadrav ke mare kabhi ka kshin hokar nasht ho jata.

kal vaishnavi se poochha tha ki "tum bhajan karati ho?" usane javab mean kaha tha, ki 'yahi to sadhana aur bhajan hai." savismay prashn kiya tha, "yah rasoee banana, phool chunana, mala gooanthana, doodh oantana- kya isi ko sadhana kahati ho?" usane usi vakt sir hilakar javab dete hue kaha tha, "haan, ham isi ko sadhana kahati haian- hamari aur koee bhajan-sadhana nahian hai."

aj poore din ka hal dekhakar samajh gaya ki usaki bat ka ek-ek akshar sach hai. kahian bhi atiranjan ya atyukti nahian. dopahar ko jara mauqa pakar bola, "maian janata hooan kamalalata, ki tum aur sab jaisi nahian ho. sach to kaho, bhagavan ki pratik yah patthar ki moorti..."

vaishnavi ne hath uthakar mujhe rok diya aur kaha, "pratik kya ji- ve to sakshath bhagavan haian- aisi bat kabhi jaban par bhi n lana naye gusaeean- "meri batoan se use jaise bahut sharm ayi, n jane maian bhi kyoan ek tarah se jheanp gaya, phir ahista-ahista bol, "maian to nahian janata, isilie poochha tha ki kya vakee tum sab yah sochati ho ki is patthar ki moorti mean hi bhagavan ki shakti aur chetana hai usaka..."

meri yah bat bhi poori n ho saki. vah bol uthi, "sochane jaanyeangi hi kyoan ji, yah to hamare lie pratyaksh hai. tum log sanskaroan ke moh nahian to d sake ho, isilie yah sochate ho ki rakt-maans ke sharir ko chho dakar aur kahian chaitany ke rahane ke lie jagah nahian hai. par yah kyoan? aur yah bhi kahati hooan ki shakti aur chaitany ka tatv kya tum log hi sab hajam kar chuke ho, jo yah kahoge ki patthar mean usake lie jagah nahian hai? hoti hai ji, hoti hai, bhagavan ko kahian bhi rahane mean rukavat nahian hoti, nahian to batao unhean bhagavan hi kyoan kaheange?"

tark ki drishti se ye batean spasht bhi nahian aur poorn bhi nahian haian. par yah aur kuchh to hai nahian, yah to usaka jivant vishvas hai. usake is zor aur akapat ukti ke samane maian ekaek n jane kaise sitapita-sa gaya, bahas karane- prativad karane ka sahas hi nahian hua, ichchha bhi nahian huee. balki socha, sach to hai, patthar ho ya aur kuchh lekin itane paripoorn vishvas se vah apane ko agar poornat: samarpit n kar pati to varsh ke bad varsh, aur din ke bad din yah avichhinn seva karate rahane ki shakti use milati kaise? is tarah sidhe, nishchint aur nirbhay hokar kh de hone ka avalamban kahaan se milata? ye shishu to haian nahian, bachchoan ke khel ke is mithya abhinay se dubidhagrast man do din mean hi thakakar gin jata? par aisa to nahian hua balki bhakti aur prem ki akhand ekagrata mean inake atmanivedan ka anandotsav badhata hi ja raha hai. is jivan mean pane ki drishti se vah kya sab kuchh shoony ya sab kuchh bhool hai- sab apane ko thagana hai?

vaishnav ne kaha, "kyoan gusaeean, bat kyoan nahian karate?"

maianne kaha, "soch raha hooan."

"kisaka soch kar rahe ho?"

"tumhare bare mean soch raha hooan."

"yah to mera b da saubhagy hai." kuchh der bad kaha, "phir bhi yahaan rahana nahian chahate, n jane kahaan kis barma desh mean naukari karane jana chahate ho. naukari kyoan karoge?"

maianne kaha, "mere pas math ki zamin-jayadad to hai nahian- andhabhaktoan ka dal bhi nahian- khaooanga kya?"

"bhagavan deange."

maianne kaha, "yah atyant durasha hai. par aisa to nahian lagata ki tum sabaka bhi bhagavan par bahut bharosa hai, nahian to bhiksha ke lie kyoan jatian."

vaishnavi ne kaha, "jati hooan isalie ki dene ke lie ve hath badhaye daravaze-daravaze kh de haian. nahian to hamari garaj nahian hai. agar hoti to nahian jatian. bina khaye hi sookh-sookh mar jatian, to bhi nahian jatian."

"kamalalata, tumhara desh kahaan hai?"

"kal hi to kaha tha gusaeean, mera ghar pe d ke niche hai, mera desh gali-gali mean hai."

"to pe d ke niche aur gali-gali mean n rahakar math mean kis lie rahati ho?"

"bahut dinoan tak gali-gali mean hi thi gusaeean- agar koee sangi mil jay to phir ek bar gali ko sanbal bana looan."

maianne kaha, "is bat par to vishvas nahian hota. tumhean sangi-sathi ki kya kami hai kamalalata? jisase kahogi vahi raji ho jayega."

vaishnavi ne hansate hue kaha, "tumhian se kahati hooan naye gusaeean- raji hoge?"

maian bhi hansa. kaha, "haan, raji hooan. nabalig umr mean jo yatra ke dal se nahian dara, balig avastha mean use vaishnavi ka kya dar?"

"yatra ke dal mean bhi rahe the?"

"haan."

"to gana bhi ga sakate ho?"

"nahian. malik ne itani door age badhane hi nahian diya, isake pahale hi javab de diya. yah nahian kaha ja sakata ki tum malik hoti to kya karatian."

vaishnavi hansane lagi. boli, "maian bhi javab de deti. ise chho do, ab ham mean se ek ke bhi jane par kam chal jaega. is desh mean chahe jaise bhi bhagavan ka nam lene par bhiksha ka abhav nahian hota. chalo n gusaeean, nikal p de. kah rahe the ki vrindavan dham kabhi nahian dekha hai, chalo tumhean dikhala laooan. bahut din ghar mean baithe-baithe kate, raste ka nasha jaise phir apani or khianchana chahata hai. sach, chaloge naye gusaeean?"

achanak usake muanh ki or dekhakar bahut vismay hua. kaha, "hamara parichay hue to abhi chaubis ghante bhi nahian hue, mujh par itana vishvas kaise ho gaya?" vaishnavi ne kaha, "ye chaubis ghante sirph ek paksh ke lie hi to nahian haian gusaeean, donoan pakshoan ke lie haian. mera vishvas hai ki raste mean pravas mean bhi tum par mera avishvas n hoga. kal panchami hai, jane ka b da achchha shubh din hai- chalo. aur raste ke kinare rel ka path to hai hi- achchha nahian lage to laut ana. maian mana nahian karooangi."

ek vaishnavi ne akar khabar di, "thakuraji ka prasad kamare mean rakh diya gaya hai." kamalalata ne kaha, "chalo tumhare kamare mean chalakar baithean."

"mere kamare mean? achchhi bat hai."

aur ek bar usake muanh ki taraph dekha. is bar leshamatr bhi sandeh n raha ki vah hansi nahian kar rahi hai. yah bhi nishchit hai ki maian upalaksh-matr hooan, par chahe jis karan se ho, usaki aisi halat maloom huee ki vah chahe jis karan se ho, yadi yahaan ke bandhan to dakar bhag sake to manoan usaki jan mean jan a jay- use ek kshan ka bhi vilamb sahan nahian ho raha hai.

kamare mean akar khane baitha. bahut badhiya prasad hai. bhagane ka shadayantr achchhi tarah jam jata, par ek bahut zaroori kam se koee kamalalata ko bula le gaya. at: akele hi muanh band kiye hue seva samapt karani p di. bahar nikalane par koee bhi nazar nahian aya, dvarikadas babaji bhi n jane kahaan chale gaye. do-tin purani vaishnaviyaan ghoom-phir rahi haian- kal sham ko thakur ji ke kamare ke dhuean mean shayad ye hi apsara jaisi lagi thian, kintu aj din ki tej roshani mean kal ka vah adhh‍yatm saundary-bodh utana atoot nahian raha. man n jane kaisa ho gaya, sidha ashram ke bahar chala aya. vahi shaivalachchhann shirnakaya mandasrota suparichit nadi aur vahi lata-gulm-kantakakirn tatabhoomi, vahi sarpasankul sudridh beantoan ka kuanj aur suvistrit benuvan.

bahut dinoan ke anabhyas ke karan sharir sanasanane laga, kahian doosari jagah jane ki soch hi raha tha ki ek adami jo kahian chhipa baitha tha, ab utha aur najadik akar kh da ho gaya. pahale to ashchary hua ki is jagah bhi adami ho sakata hai. usaki umr mere barabar hi hogi, aur das varsh zyada hona bhi asambhav nahian hai. thiangana, dubala-patala, sharir ka rang bahut zyada kala nahian hai, par muanh ka niche ka hissa jaise bahut hi chhota hai. aauankhoan ki donoan bhauhean bhi vaisi hi asvabhavik roop mean vistirn haian. vastut:, itani b di, ghani aur moti bhauanhean bhi manushy ki hoti haian, yah jnan mujhe isake pahale n tha. door se hi sandeh hua ki prakriti ne majak mean hothoan ke badale kapal par ek jo di moti mooanchhean to nahian chipaka di haian. gale mean tulasi ki moti mala hai, veshabhooshadi bhi bahut kuchh vaishnavoan jaisi hai, par jitani maili hai utani hi jirn.

"mahashayaji!"

"chauankakar kh de hote hue maianne poochha, "kya ajna hai?"

"kya yah jan sakata hooan ki ap yahaan kab aye haian?"

"jan sakate haian. kal sham ko aya hooan."

"rat ko akha de mean shayad the?"

"haan, tha."

"o:!"

niravata mean hi kuchh kshan kate. pair badhane ki koshish karate hi us adami ne kaha, "ap to vaishnav nahian haian, bhale adami haian- akha de mean apako rahane diya?"

maianne kaha, "yah to ve hi janean. unhian se poochhie."

"o:, shayad kamalalata ne rahane ke lie kaha hoga?"

"haan."

"o:, janate haian usaki asali nam kya hai? ushaangini. makan silahat mean hai kintu dikhati hai kalakatte jaisi. mera ghar bhi silahat mean hai. gaanv ka nam hai mahamoodapur. usake svabhav-charitr ke bare mean kuchh suneange?"

maianne kaha, "nahian." par us adami ke hav-bhav dekhakar is bar sachamuch hi vismit ho utha. prashn kiya, "kamalalata ke sath apaka koee sambandh hai?"

"hai kyoan nahian!"

"vah kya?"

kshanabhar idhar-udhar kar vah adami ekaek garaj utha, "kyoan, kya jhooth hai? vah meri gharavali hoti hai. usake bap ne khud hamari kanthi-badali ki thi. isake gavah haian."

n jane kyoan mujhe vishvas nahian hua. poochha, "apaki jati kya hai?"

"ham dvadash teli haian."

"aur kamalalata ki?"

pratyuttar mean vah apani vah moti bhauanhoan ki jo di ghrina se kuanchit kar bola, "vah kalavar hai- unake pani se ham pair bhi nahian dhote. ek bar use bula sakate haian?"

"nahian. akha de mean sab ja sakate haian, ichchha ho to ap bhi ja sakate haian." kuchh naraj hokar vah bola, "jaooanga sahab, jaooanga. daroga ko paise khila diye haian, pyade sath lekar jhoanta pak dakar bahar khianch laooanga. babaji ke baba bhi nahian bacha sakeange! sala, raskal kahian ka!"

maian aur vaky vyay n karake age chalane laga. vah pichhe se karkash kanth se bola, "isamean apaka kya nukasan tha? jakar agar ek bar bula dete to kya sharir ka kuchh kshay ho jata? oh-bhale adami!"

ab pichhe ghoomakar dekhane ka sahas nahian hua. pichhe kahian gusse ko n rok paooan aur is ati durbal adami ke sharir par hath n chho d baithooan, is dar se kuchh tezike sath hi maianne prasthan kiya. aisa lagane laga ki vaishnavi ke bhag jane ka hetu shayad yahian kahian sambaddh hai.

man kharab ho gaya tha. thakuraji ke kamare mean n to khud gaya aur n koee bulane hi aya. kamare ke bhitar ek chauki par kee- ek vaishnav granthavaliyaan b de yatn se rakkhi thian. unhian mean se ek ko hath mean lekar aur pradip ko sirahane rakhakar bichhaune par let gaya. vaishnav-dharmashastr ke adhyalayan ke lie nahian, sirph vakt gujarane ke lie. bar-bar kshobh ke sath sirph ek hi bat ka khayal ane laga, kamalalata jo gayi so phir lautakar nahian ayi! thakuraji ki sandhyay-arati yathariti shuroo huee, usaka madhur kanth bar-bar kanoan mean sunaee p dane laga aur ghoom-phirakar yahi khayal man mean ane laga ki us vakt se kamalalata ne meri koee khoj-khabar hi nahian li! aur vah moti bhauanhoan vala adami? kya usaki shikayat mean kuchh bhi saty nahian hai?

aur bhi ek bat hai. gauhar kahaan hai? usane bhi to aj meri koee khoj khabar nahian li. socha tha ki kuchh din- pooantoo ke vivahavale din tak, yahian gujar dooanga, par ab yah nahian hoga. shayad kal hi kalakatte ravana ho jana p de.

shanai: shanai: arati aur kirtan samapt ho gaya. kalavali vahi vaishnavi akar b de yatn se prasad rakh gayi, par jisaki rah dekh raha tha usake darshan nahian mile. bahar logoan ki batachit aur ane-jane ki avaz bhi kramash: shant ho gayi. yah sochakar ki ab usake ane ki sambhavana nahian hai, bhojan kiya aur hath-muanh dhokar dip bujha so gaya.

shayad us vakt bahut rat thi, kanoan mean bhanak p di, "naye gusaeean!"

jagakar uth baitha. andhakar mean kh di kamalalata ahista-ahista boli, "ayi nahian, isalie shayad man-hi-man bahut du:khi ho rahe haian- kyoan naye gusaeean?"

kaha, "haan, dukhi hua hooan."

kshanabhar ke lie vaishnavi chup rahi, phir boli, "jangal mean vah adami tumase kya kah raha tha?"

"tumane dekha tha kya?"

"haan."

"kah raha tha ki vah tumhara pati hai- arthath, tumhare samajik acharoan ke mutabiq tumhari usaki kanthi-badal huee hai."

"tumane vishvas kiya?"

"nahian, nahian kiya."

kshanabhar ke lie phir maun rahakar vaishnavi ne kaha, "usane mere svabhav aur charitr ke bare mean kuchh ishara nahian kiya?"

"kiya tha."

"aur meri jatika?"

"haan, usaka bhi."

vaishnavi ne kuchh thaharakar kaha, "sunoge mere bachapan ka itihas? shayad tumhean ghrina ho jay."

"to rahane do, maian nahian sunana chahata."

"kyoan?"

"usase kya fayada kamalalata? tum mujhe bahut bhali lagi ho. yahaan se kal chala jaooanga aur shayad phir kabhi ham logoan ki mulakat hi n ho. tab mere is bhale lagane ko nirarthak hi nasht karane se kya fayada hoga, batao?"

is bar vaishnavi bahut der tak maun rahi. yah samajh mean n aya ki andhakar mean chupachap kh di vah kya kar rahi hai. poochha, "kya soch rahi ho?"

"soch rahi hooan ki kal tumhean nahian jane dooangi."

"to phir kab jane dogi?"

"jane kabhi n dooangi. par ab bahut rat ho gayi, so jao. masahari achchhi tarah se lagi huee hai n?"

"kya pata, shayad lagi hai."

vaishnavi ne hansakar kaha, "shayad lagi hai? vah, khoob ho." yah kah usane qarib akar andhakar mean hi hath badhakar bichhaune ke charoan chhoroan ki pariksha kar li aur kaha, "soo gusaeean, maian jati hooan." yah kahakar vah dabe pairoan bahar nikal gayi aur bahar se bahut hi savadhani ke sath daravaza bhi band kar gayi.