प्रारब्ध -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

lala jivanadas ko mrityushayya par p de 6 mas ho gaye haian. avastha dinoandin shochaniy hoti jati hai. chikitsa par unhean ab jara bhi vishvas nahian raha. keval prarabdh ka hi bharosa hai. koee hitaishi vaidy ya d aauktar ka nam leta hai to muanh pher lete haian. unhean jivan ki ab koee asha nahian hai. yahaan tak ki ab unhean apani bimari ke zikr se bhi ghrina hoti hai. ek kshan ke lie bhool jana chahate haian ki maian kal ke mukh mean hooan. ek kshan ke lie is dussadhy chianta-bhar ko sir se pheank kar svadhinata se saans lene ke lie unaka chitt lalayit ho jata hai. unhean rajaniti se kabhi ruchi nahian rahi. apani vyaktigat chiantaoan hi mean lin rahate. lekin ab unhean rajanitik vishayoan se vishesh prem ho gaya hai. apani bimari ki charcha ke atirikt vah pratyek vishay ko shauq se sunate haian, kintu jyoan hi kisi ne sahanubhooti se kisi aushadhi ka nam liya ki unaki tyori badal jati hai. aandhakar mean vilapadhvani itani ashajanak nahian hoti jitani prakash ki ek jhalak.

yah yatharthavadi purush the. dharm-adharm, svarg-narak ki vyavasthaean unaki vichar-paridhi se bahar thian. yahaan tak ki ajnat bhay se bhi ve shankit n hote the. lekin usaka karan unaki manasik shithilata n thi, balki lok-chianta ne paralok-chianta ka sthan hi shesh n rakha tha. unaka parivar bahut chhota tha, patni thi aur ek balak. lekin svabhav udar tha, rrin se badha rahata tha. us par yah asadhy aur chirakalin rog ne rrin par kee darje ki vriddhi kar di thi. mere pichhe nissahayoan ka kya hal hoga? ye kisake samane hath phailayeange? kaun inaki khabar lega? hay ! maianne vivah kyoan kiya? parivarik bandhan mean kyoan phansa? kya isalie ki ye sansar ke himatuly daya ke patra banean? kya apane kul ki pratishtha aur samman ko yoan vinasht hone dooan? jis jivanadas ne sare nagar ko apani anugrah-drishti se plavit kar diya tha usi ke pote aur bahoo dvar-dvar thokarean khate phirean? hay, kya hoga? koee apana nahian, charoan or bhayavah van hai ! kahian marg ka pata nahian. yah saral ramani, yah abodh balak ! inhean kis par chho dooan?

ham apani an par jan dete the. hamane kisi ke samane sir nahian jhukaya. kisi ke rrini nahian hue. sadaiv gardan utha kar chale; aur ab yah naubat hai ki kafan ka bhi thikana nahian !

adhi rat gujar chuki. jivanadas ki halat aj bahut najuk thi. bar-bar moorchchha a jati. bar-bar hriday ki gati ruk jati. unhean jnat hota tha ki ab ant nikat hai. kamare mean ek laimp jal raha tha. unaki charapaee ke samip hi prabhavati aur usaka balak sath soe hue the. jivanadas ne kamare ki divaroan ko nirashapoorn netroan se dekha jaise koee bhataka hua pathik nivas-sthan ki khoj mean ho ! charoan or se ghoom kar unaki aankhean prabhavati ke chehare par jam gayian. ha ! yah sundari ek kshan mean vidhava ho jayegi ! yah balak pitrihin ho jayega. yahi donoan vyakti meri jivan-ashaoan ke kendr the. maianne jo kuchh kiya, inhian ke lie kiya. maianne apana jivan inhian par samarpan kar diya tha aur ab inhean manjhadhar mean chho de jata hooan. isalie ki ve vipatti bhanvar ke kaur ban jayan. in vicharoan ne unake hriday ko masos diya. aankhoan se aansoo bahane lage.

achanak unake vichar-pravah mean ek vichitr parivartan hua. nirasha ki jagah mukh par ek dridh sankalp ki abha dikhayi di, jaise kisi grihasvamini ki jhi dakiyaan sun kar ek din bhikshuk ke tevar badal jate haian. nahian, kadapi nahian ! maian apane priy putr aur apani pran-priya patni par prarabdh ka atyachar n hone dooanga. apane kul ki maryada ko bhrasht n hone dooanga. abala ko jivan ki kathin pariksha mean n dalooanga. maian mar raha hooan, lekin prarabdh ke samane sir n jhukaooanga. usaka das nahian, svami banooanga. apani nauka ko nirday tarangoan ke ashrit n banane dooanga.

‘‘niahsandeh sansar muanh banayega. mujhe duratma, ghatak naradham kahega. isalie ki usake pashavik amod mean, usaki paishachik kri daoan mean ek vyavastha kam ho jayagi. koee chinta nahian, mujhe santosh to rahega ki usaka atyachar mera bal bhi baanka nahian kar sakata. usaki anarth lila se maian surakshit hooan.’’

jivanadas ke mukh par varnahin sankalp aankit tha. vah sankalp jo atm-hatya ka soochak hai. vah bichhaune se uthe, magar hath-paanv thar-thar kaanp rahe the. kamare ki pratyek vastu unhean aankhean pha d-pha d kar dekhati huee jan p dati thian. alamari ke shishe mean apani parachhaeean dikhayi di. chauank p de, vah kaun? khayal a gaya, yah to apani chhaya hai. unhoanne alamari se ek chamacha aur ek pyala nikala. pyale mean vah zaharili dava thi jo d aauktar ne unaki chhati par malane ke lie di thi ! pyale ko hath mean liye charoan or sahami huee drishti se takate hue vah prabhavati ke sirahane a kar kh de ho gaye. hriday par karuna ka aveg hua. ‘‘ah ! in pyaroan ko kya mere hi hathoan marana likha tha? maian hi inaka yamadoot banooanga. yah apane hi karmoan ka phal hai. maian aankhean band karake vaivahik bandhan mean phansa. in bhavi apadaoan ki or kyoan mera dhyan n gaya? maian us samay aisa harshit aur praphullit tha, mano jivan ek anadi sukh-svar hai, ek-ek sudhamay anand sarovar. yah isi adooradarshita ka parinam hai ki aj maian yah durdin dekh raha hooan.’’

hathath unake pairoan mean kampan hua, aankhoan mean aandhera chha gaya, na di ki gati band hone lagi. ve karunamayi bhavanaean mit gayian. shanka huee, kaun jane yahi daura jivan ka ant n ho. vah sanbhal kar uthe aur pyale se dava ka ek chammach nikal kar prabhavati ke muanh mean dal diya. usane niand mean do-ek bar muanh dula kar karavat badal li. tab unhoanne lakhanadas ka muanh khol kar usamean bhi ek chammach bhar dava dal di aur pyale ko zamin par patak diya. par ha ! manav-paravashata ! ha prabal bhavi ! bhagy ki visham kri da ab bhi unase chal chal rahi thi. pyale mean vish n tha. vah tanik tha jo daktar ne unaka bal badhane ke lie diya tha.

pyale ko rakhate hi unake kaanpate hue pair sthir ho gaye, moorchchha ke sab lakshan jate rahe. chitt par bhay ka prakop hua. vah kamare mean ek kshan bhi n thahar sake. hatya-prakash ka bhay hatya-karm se bhi kahian darun tha. unhean dand ki chianta n thi; par nianda aur tiraskar se bachana chahate the. vah ghar se is tarah bahar nikale, jaise kisi ne unhean dhakel diya ho, unake aangoan mean kabhi itani sphoorti n thi. ghar s dak par tha, dvar par ek taanga mila ! us par ja baithe. na diyoan mean vidyut-shakti dau d rahi thi.

taangevale ne poochha-kahaan chalooan?

jivanadas-jahaan chaho.

taangevala-steshan chalooan?

jivanadas-vahian sahi.

taangevala-chhoti lain chalooan ya b di lain?

jivanadas-jahaan ga di jaldi mil jay.

taangevale ne unhean kautoohal se dekha. parichit tha, bola-apaki tabiyat achchhi nahian hai, kya aur koee sath n jayaga?

jivanadas ne javab diya-nahian, maian akela hi jaooanga.

taangevala-ap kahaan jana chahate haian?

jivanadas-bahut batean n karo. yahaan se jaldi chalo.

taangevale ne gho de ko chabuk lagaya aur steshan ki or chala. jivanadas vahaan pahuanchate hi taange se kood p de aur steshan ke aandar chale. taangevale ne kaha-paise?

jivanadas ko ab jnat hua ki maian ghar se kuchh nahian le kar chala, yahaan tak ki sharir par vastr bhi n the. bole-paise phir mileange.

taangevala-ap n jane kab lauteange.

jivanadas-mera joota naya hai, le lo.

taangevale ka ashchary aur bhi badha, samajha inhoanne sharab pi hai, apane ape mean nahian haian. chupake se joote liye aur chalata hua.

ga di ke ane mean abhi ghantoan ki der thi. jivanadas pletapharm par ja kar tahalane lage. dhire-dhire unaki gati tivr hone lagi, mano koee unaka pichha kar raha hai. unhean isaki bilakul chianta n thi ki maian khali hath hooan. ja de ke din the. log saradi ke mare ak de jate the, kiantu unhean odhane-bichhaune ki bhi sudhi n thi. unaki chaitanyashakti nasht ho gayi thi; keval apane dushkarm ka jnan jivit tha. aisi shanka hoti thi ki prabhavati mere pichhe dau di chali ati hai, kabhi bhram hota ki lakhanadas bhagata hua a raha hai, kabhi p dosiyoan ke dhar-pak d ki avaz kanoan mean ati thi, unaki kalpana pratikshan uttejit hoti jati thi, yahaan tak ki vah pranabhay se mal ke boroan ke bich mean ja chhipe. ek-ek minat par chauank p date the aur sashank netroan se idhar-udhar dekhakar phir chhip jate the. unhean ab yah bhi smaran n raha ki maian yahaan kya karane aya hooan, keval apani pranaraksha ka jnan shesh tha. ghantiyaan bajian, musaphiroan ke jhuand ke jhuand ane lage, kuliyoan ki bak-jhak, musaphiroan ki chikh aur pukar, ane-janevale ianjinoan ki dhak-dhak se hahakar macha hua tha; kiantu jivanadas un boroan ke bich mean is tarah paiantare badal rahe the mano ve chaitany hokar unhean gherana chahate haian.

nidan ga di steshan par akar kh di ho gayi. jivanadas sanbhal gaye. smriti jagrit ho gayi. lapak kar boroan mean se nikale aur ek kamare mean ja baithe.

itane mean ga di ke dvar par ‘khat-khat’ ki dhvani sunayi di. jivanadas ne chauankakar dekha, tikat ka nirikshak kh da tha. unaki achetavastha bhang ho gayi. vah kaun-sa nasha hai, jo mar ke age bhag n jay. vyadhi ki shanka sanjna ko jagrit kar deti hai. unhoanne shighrata se jal-grih khola aur usamean ghus gaye. nirikshak ne poochha-‘‘aur koee nahian?’’ musaphiroan ne ek svar se kaha-‘‘ab koee nahian hai.’’ janata ko adhikari varg se ek naisargik dvesh hota hai. ga di chali to jivanadas bahar nikale. yatriyoan ne ek prachand hasyadhvani se unaka svagat kiya. yah deharadoon mel tha.

2

raste bhar jivanadas kalpanaoan mean magn rahe. haridvar pahuanche to unaki manasik ashaanti bahut kuchh kam ho gayi thi. ek kshetr se kambal laye, bhojan kiya aur vahian p d rahe. anugrah ke kachche dhage ko vah lohe ki be di samajhate the; par duravastha ne atm-gaurav ka nash kar diya tha.

is bhaanti kee din bit gaye, kintu maut ka to kahana hi kya, vah vyadhi bhi shaant hone lagi, jisane jivan se nirash kar diya tha. unaki shakti dinoandin badhane lagi. mukh ki kaanti pradipt hone lagi, vayu ka prakop shaant ho gaya, mano do priy praniyoan ke balidan ne mrityu ko tript kar diya tha.

jivanadas ko yah rog-nivritti us darun rog se bhi adhik dukhadayi pratit hoti thi. ve ab mrityu-ahvan karate, eeshvar se prarthana karate ki phir usi jirnavastha ka duragam ho, nana prakar ke kupathy karate, kintu koee prayatn saphal n hota tha. un balidanoan ne vastav mean yamaraj ko santusht kar diya tha.

ab unhean chianta hone lagi; kya maian vastav mean jianda rahooanga. lakshan aise hi dikh p date the. nityaprati yah shanka prabal hoti jati thi. unhoanne prarabdh ko apane pairoan par jhukana chaha tha, par ab svayan usake pairoan ki raj chat rahe the. unhean bar-bar apane oopar krodh ata, kabhi vyagr hokar uthate ki jivan ka aant kar dooan, takadir ko dikha dooan ki maian ab bhi use kuchal sakata hooan; kintu usake hathoan vikat yantrana bhogane ke bad unhean bhay hota tha ki kahian isase bhi jatil samasya n upasthit ho jay, kyoanki unhean usaki shakti ka kuchh-kuchh anuman ho gaya tha. in vicharoan ne unake man mean nastikata ke bhav utpann kiye. vartaman bhautik shiksha ne unhean pahale hi anatmavadi bana diya tha. ab unhean samast prakriti anarth aur adharm ke rang mean doobi huee maloom hone lagi. yahaan nyay nahian, daya nahian, saty nahian. asambhav hai ki yah srishti kisi kripalu shakti ke adhin ho aur usake jnan mean nity aise vibhats, aise bhishan abhinay hote rahean. vah n dayalu hai, n vatsal hai. vah sarvajnani aur aantaryami bhi nahian, nissandeh vah ek vinashini, vakr aur vikaramayi shakti hai. saansarik praniyoan ne usaki anisht kri da se bhayabhit hokar use saty ka sagar, daya aur dharm ka bhandar, prakash aur jnan ka srot bana diya hai. yah hamara din-vilap hai. apani durbalata ka ashrupat. isi shaktihinata ko, isi niahsahayata ko ham upasana aur aradhana kahate haian aur us par garv karate haian. darshanikoan ka kathan hai ki yah prakriti atal niyamoan ke adhin hai, yah bhi unaki shraddhaluta hai. niyam j d, achaitany hote hanh unamean kapat ke bhav kahaan? in niyamoan ka sanchalak, is iandrajal ka madari avashy hai, yah spasht hai; kintu vah prani devata nahian, pishach hai.

in bhavoan ne shanaiah-shanaiah kriyatmak roop dharan kiya. sadbhakti hamean oopar le jati hai, asadbhakti hamean niche girati hai. jivanadas ki nauka ka langar ukh d gaya. ab usaka n koee lakshy tha aur n koee adhar, tarangoan mean daanvaandol hoti rahati thi.

3

pandrah varsh bit gaye. jivanadas ka jivan anand aur vilas mean katata tha. ramanik nivas-sthan tha, savariyaan thian, naukar-chakar the. nity rag-rang hota rahata tha. ab iandriyalipsa unaka dharm tha, vasana-tripti unaka jivanatattv. ve vichar aur vivek ke bandhanoan se mukt ho gaye the. niti aur aniti ka jnan lupt ho gaya tha. sadhanoan ki bhi kami nahian thi. bandhe bail aur khule saan d mean b da aantar hai. ek ratib pakar bhi durbal hai, doosara ghas-pat hi khakar mast ho raha hai. svadhinata b di poshak vastu hai.

jivanadas ko ab apani stri aur balak ki yad n satati thi. bhoot aur bhavishy ka unake hriday par koee chihn n tha. unaki nigah keval vartaman par rahati thi. vah dharm ko adharm samajhate the aur adharm ko dharm. unhean srishti ka yah moolatattv pratit hota tha. unaka jivan svayan isi durniti ka ujjval praman tha. atmabandhan ko to d kar ve jitane utsit hue, vahaan tak un bandhanoan mean p de hue unaki drishti bhi n pahuanch sakati thi. jidhar aankh uthati, adharm ka samrajy dikh p data tha. yahi saphal jivan ka mantr tha. svechchhachari hava mean u date haian, dharm ke sevak e diyaan rag date haian. vyapar aur rajaniti ke bhavan, jnan aur bhakti ke mandir, sahity aur kavy ki rangashala, prem aur anurag mandaliyaan sab isi dipak se alokit ho rahi haian. aisi virath jyoti ki aradhana kyoan n ki jay?

garami ke din the, sandhya ka samay. haridvar ke relave-steshan par yatriyoan ki bhi d thi. jivanadas ek gerue rang ki reshami chadar gale mean dale, sunahara chashma lagaye, divy jnan ki moorti bane hue apane sahacharoan ke sath pletapharm par tahal rahe the. unaki bhedak drishti yatriyoan par lagi huee thi. achanak unhean doosare darje ke kamare mean ek shikar dikhayi diya. yah ek roopavan yuvak tha. chehare se pratibha jhalak rahi thi. usaki gh di ki janjir sunahari thi, tanajeb ki achakan ke batan bhi sone ke the. jis prakar badhik ki drishti pashu ke maans aur charm par rahati hai, usi prakar jivanadas ki drishti mean manushy ek bhogy padarth tha. unake anuman ne ashcharyajanak kushalata prapt kar li thi aur usase kabhi bhool n hoti thi. vah yuvak avashy koee rees hai. saral aur gauravashil bhi hai atev sugamata se jal mean phans jayaga. us par apani siddhata ka sikka bithana chahie. usaki saral-hridayata par nishana marana chahie. maian guru banooan, yah donoan mere shishy ban jayan, chhal ki ghatean chalean, meri apar vidvatta, alaukik kirti aur agadh vairagy ka madhur gan ho, shabdadambaroan ke dane bikher diye jayan aur mrig par phanda dal diya jay.

yah nishchay karake jivanadas kamare mean dakhil hue. yuvak ne unaki or gaur se dekha, jaise apane bhoole hue mitr ko pahachanane ki cheshta kar raha ho. ab adhir ho kar bola-mahatma ji, apaka sthan kahaan hai?

jivanadas prasann ho kar bola-bachcha, santoan ka sthan kahaan? samast sansar hamara sthan hai.

yuvak ne poochha-apaka shubh nam lala jivanadas to nahian hai?

jivanadas chauank p de. chhati balliyoan uchhalane lagi. chehare par havaiyaan u dane lagian. kahian yah khuphiya pulis ka karmachari to nahian hai? kuchh nishchay n kar sake, kya uttar dooan. gum-sum ho gaye.

yuvak ne asamanjas mean p de dekh kar kaha-meri yah dhrishtata kshama kijiega. maianne yah bat isalie poochhi ki apaka shrimukh mere pita ji se bahut milata hai. ve bahut dinoan se gayab haian. log kahate haian, sannyasi ho gaye. barasoan se unhian ki talash mean mara phir raha hooan.

jis prakar kshitij par megharashi chadhati hai aur kshanamatr mean sanpoorn vayumandal ko gher leti hai usi prakar jivanadas ko apane hriday mean poorv-smritiyoan ki ek lahar-si uthati huee maloom huee. gala phans gaya aur aankhoan ke samane pratyek vastu tairati huee jan p dane lagi. yuvak ki or sachesht netroan se dekha, smriti sajag ho gayi. usake gale se lipat kar bole-lakkhoo?

lakhanadas unake pairoan par gir p da.

‘maianne bilakul nahian pahachana.’

‘ek yug ho gaya.’

4

adhi rat gujar chuki thi. lakhanadas so raha tha aur jivanadas khi daki se sir nikale vicharoan mean magn the. prarabdh ka ek naya abhinay unake netroan ke samane tha. vah dharana jo atit kal se unaki path-pradarshak bani huee thi, hil gayi. mujhe ahankar ne kitana vivekahin bana diya tha ! samajhata tha, maian hi srishti ka sanchalak hooan, mere marane par parivar ka adhahpatan ho jayaga par meri yah dushchianta kitani mithya nikali. jinhean maianne vish diya, ve aj jivit haian, sukhi haian aur sampattishali haian. asambhav tha ki lakkhoo ko aisi uchch shiksha de sakata. mata ke putr-prem aur adhyavasay ne kathin marg kitana sugam kar diya. maian use itana sachcharitr, itana dridh sankalp, itana kartavyashil kabhi n bana sakata. yah svavalamban ka phal hai. mera vish usake lie amrit ho gaya. kitana vinayashil, hansamukh, niahsprih aur chatur yuvak hai. mujhe to ab usake sath baithate bhi sankoch hota hai. mera saubhagy kaise uday hua hai. maian virat jagath ko kisi paishachik shakti ke adhin samajhata tha, jo din praniyoan ke sath billi aur choohe ka khel khelati hai. ha moorkhata ! ha ajnan ! aj mujh jaisa papi manushy itana sukhi hai ! isamean sandeh nahian ki is jagath ka svami daya aur kripa ka mahasagar hai. pratahkal mujhe us devi se sakshath hoga, jisake sath jivan ke kya-kya sukh nahian bhoge ! mere pote aur potiyaan meri god mean kheleangi. mitragan mera svagat kareange. aise dayamay bhagavanh ko maian amangal ka mool samajhata tha !

is vichar mean p de hue jivanadas ko niand a gayi. jab aankhean khulian to lakhanoo ki priy aur parichit dhvani kanoan mean ayi. ve chauank kar uth baithe. lakhanadas asabab utarava rahe the. steshan ke bahar unaki phitan kh di thi. donoan adami us par baithe. jivanadas ka hriday ahvan se bhar raha tha. maun-roop baithe hue the, mano samadhi mean hoan.

phitan chali. jivanadas ko prayah sabhi chizean nayi maloom hoti thian. n ve bazar, n ve gali-kooche, n ve prani the. yugaantar-sa ho gaya tha. nidan unhean ek ramanik bangala-sa dikhayi p da, jisake dvar par mote aksharoan mean aankit tha-

jivanadas-pathashala

jivanadas ne vismit ho kar poochha-kya hai?

lakhanadas ne kaha-mata ji ne apake smriti-roop yah pathashala kholi hai. kee l dake chhatravritti pate haian !

jivanadas ka dil aur bhi baith gaya. muanh se ek thandi saans nikal ayi.

tho di der ke bad phitan ruki, lakhanadas utar p de. naukaroan ne asabab utarana shuroo kiya. jivanadas ne dekha, ek pakka do-manjila makan tha. unake purane khaparailavale ghar ka koee chihn n tha. keval ek nim ka vriksh baki tha. do komal balak ‘baboo ji’ kahate hue daude़ aur lakhanadas ke pairoan se lipat gaye. ghar mean ek halachal-si mach gayi. divanakhane ke pichhe ek sundar pushpavatika thi. jivanadas aise chakit ho rahe the mano koee tilism dekh rahe hoan.

5

ratri ka samay tha. barah baj chuke the. jivanadas ko kisi karavat niand n ati thi. apane jivan ka chitr unake samane tha. in pandrah varshoan mean unhoanne jo kaante boye the ve is samay unake hriday mean chubh rahe the. jo gadhe khode the ve unhean nigalane ke lie muanh khole hue the. unaki dasha mean ek hi din mean ghor parivartan ho gaya tha. abhakti aur avishvas ki jagah vishvas ka abhyuday ho gaya tha, aur yah vishvas keval manasik n tha, varanh pratyaksh tha. eeshvariy nyay ka bhay ek bhayankar moorti ke sadrish unake samane kh da tha. usase bachane ki ab unhean koee yukti najar n ati thi. ab tak unaki sthiti us ag ki chinagari ke saman thi, jo kisi marubhoomi par p di huee ho. usase hani ki koee shanka n thi; lekin aj vah chinagari ek khalihan ke pas p di huee thi. maloom nahian, kab vah prajvalit hokar khalihan ko bhasmibhoot kar de.

jyoan-jyoan rat gujarati thi, yah bhay glani ka roop dharan karata jata tha. ‘‘ha shok ! maian is yogy bhi nahian ki is sakshath kshama-daya ko apana kalushit muanh dikhaooan. usane mujh par sadaiv karuna aur vatsaly ki drishti rakhi aur yah shubh din dikhaya. meri kalima usaki ujjval kirti par ek kala dag hai. meri kalushata kya is mangal chitr ko kalushit n kar degi. meri papagni ke sparsh se kya hara-bhara udyan matiyamet n ho jayaga? meri apakirti kabhi n kabhi prakat ho kar is kul ki maryada aur samman ko nasht n kar degi? mere jivan se ab kisako sukh hai? kadachith bhagavanh ne mujhe lajjit karane ke lie, mujhe apani tuchchhata se avagat karane ke lie, mere gale mean anutap ki phaansi dalane ke lie yah adbhut lila dikhayi hai. ha ! isi kul ki maryada-raksha ke lie bhishan hatyaean ki thian. kya ab jivit rah kar isaki vah durdasha kar dooan jo mar kar bhi n kar saka? mere hath khoon se lal ho rahe haian. paramatmanh ! vah khoon rang n laye. yah hriday papoan ke kitanuoan se jarjar ho raha hai. bhagavanh, yah kul unake chhoot se bacha rahe.’’

in vicharoan ne jivanadas mean glani aur bhay ke bhavoan ko itana uttejit kiya ki vah vikal ho gaye. jaise parati bhoomi mean bij ka asadharan vikas aur prasar hota hai, usi prakar vishvasahin hriday mean jab vishvas ka bij p data hai to usamean sajivata aur vikas ka pradurbhav hota hai. usamean vichar ke badale vyavahar ka pradhany hota hai. atm-samarpan usaka vishesh lakshy hota hai. jivanadas ko apane charoan taraph ek sarvavyapi shakti, ek virat atma ka anubhav ho raha tha. pratikshan unaki kalpala sajag aur pradipt hoti jati thi. apane jivan ki ghatanaean jvala-shikha ban-ban kar us ghar ki or, use mangal aur anand ke nivas-bhavan ki or dau dati huee jan p dati thian, mano use nigal jayangi.

poorv ki or akash arun varn ho raha tha. jivanadas ki aankhean bhi arun thian. ve ghar se nikale. hath mean keval dhoti thi. unhoanne apane anishtamay astitv ko mita dene ka nishchay kar liya tha. apani papagni ki aanch se apane parivar ko bachane ka sankalp kar chuke the. pranapan se apane atmashok aur hridayadah ko shaant karane par udyat ho gaye the.

sooryoday ho raha tha. usi samay jivanadas gomati ki laharoan mean sama gaye.