अभिलाषा -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

kal p dos mean b di halachal machi. ek panavala apani stri ko mar raha tha. vah bechari baithi ro rahi thi, par us nirdayi ko us par leshamatr bhi daya n ati thi. akhir stri ko bhi krodh a gaya. usane kh de hokar

kaha, bas, ab maroge, to thik n hoga. aj se mera tujhase koee sanbandh nahian. maian bhikh maangooangi, par tere ghar n aooangi. yah kahakar usane apani ek purani sa di uthaee aur ghar se nikal p di. purush kath ke ulloo ki

tarah kh da dekhata raha. stri kuchh door chalakar phir lauti aur dookan ki sandookachi kholakar kuchh paise nikale. shayad abhi tak use mamata thi; par us nirday ne turant usaka hath pak dakar paise chhin liye. hay ri hridayahinata ! abala stri ke prati purush ka yah atyachar ! ek din isi stri par usane pran diye hoange, usaka muanh johata raha hoga; par aj itana nishthur ho gaya hai, mano kabhi ki jan-pahachan hi nahian. stri ne paise rakh diye aur bina kahe-sune chali gee. kaun jane kahaan ! maian apane kamare ki khi daki se ghantoan dekhati rahi ki shayad vah phir laute ya shayad panavala hi use manane jay; par do mean se ek bat bhi n huee. aj mujhe stri ki sachchi dasha ka pahali bar jnan hua.

yah dookan donoan ki thi. purush to mataragashti kiya karata tha, stri rat-din baithi sati hoti thi. das-gyarah baje rat tak maian use dookan par baithi dekhati thi. prat:kal niand khulati, tab bhi use baithi pati. noch-khasot, kat-kapat jitana purush karata tha, usase kuchh adhik hi stri karati thi. par purush sabakuchh hai, stri kuchh nahian ! purush jab chahe use nikal bahar kar sakata hai !

is samasya par mera chitt itana ashaant ho gaya ki niand aankhoan se bhag gee. barah baj gaye aur maian baithi rahi. akash par nirmal chaandani chhitaki huee thi. nishanath apane ratn-jatit sianhasan par garv se phoole baithe the. badal ke chhote-chhote tuk de dhire-dhire chandrama ke samip ate the aur phir vikrit roop mean prithakh ho jate the, mano shvetavasana sundariyaan usake hathoan dalit aur apamanit hokar rudan karati huee chali ja rahi hoan. is kalpana ne mujhe itana vikal kiya ki maianne khi daki band kar di aur palang par a baithi. mere priyatam nidra mean magn the. unaka tejamay mukhamandal is samay mujhe kuchh chandrama se hi milata-julata maloom hua. vahi sahas chhavi thi, jisase mere netr tript ho jate the. vahi vishal vaksh tha, jis par sir rakhakar maian apane antastal mean ek komal, madhur kanpan ka anubhav karati thi. vahi sudridh baanhean thian, jo mere gale mean p d jati thian, to mere hriday mean anand ki hilorean-si uthane lagati thian. par aj kitane din hue, maianne us mukh par hansi ki ujjval rekha nahian

dekhi, n dekhane ko chitt vyakul hi hua. kitane din hue, maianne us vaksh par sir nahian rakha aur n vah baanhean mere gale mean p dian. kyoan ? kya maian kuchh aur ho gee, ya patidev hi kuchh aur ho gaye.

abhi kuchh bahut din bhi to nahian bite, kul paanch sal hue haian qul paanch sal, jab patidev ne vikasit netroan aur lalayit adharoan se mera svagat kiya tha. maian lajja se gardan jhukaye hue thi. hriday mean kitani prabal utkantha ho rahi thi ki unaki mukh-chhavi dekh looan; par lajjavash sir n utha sakati. akhir ek bar maianne himmat karake aankhean uthaeean aur yadyapi drishti adhe raste se hi laut aee, to bhi us ardh-darshan se mujhe jo anand mila, kya use kabhi bhool sakati hooan. vah chitr ab bhi mere hriday-pat par khiancha hua hai. jab kabhi usaka smaran a jata hai, hriday pulakit ho uthata hai. us anand-smriti mean ab bhi vahi gudagudi, vahi sanasani hai ! lekin ab rat-din us chhavi ke darshan karati hooan. ushakal, prat:kal, madhayahnakal, sandhyakal,

nishakal athoan pahar usako dekhati hooan; par hriday mean gudagudi nahian hoti. vah mere samane kh de mujhase batean kiya karate haian. maian kroshie ki or dekhati rahati hooan. jab vah ghar se nikalate the, to maian dvar par akar kh di ho jati thi. aur, jab vah pichhe phirakar muskara dete the to mujhe mano svarg ka rajy mil jata tha. maian tisare pahar kothe par chadh jati thi aur unake ane ki bat johane lagati thi. unako door se ate dekhakar maian unmatt-si hokar niche ati aur dvar par jakar unaka abhivadan karati. par ab mujhe yah bhi nahian maloom hota ki vah kab jate aur kab ate haian. jab bahar ka dvar band ho jata hai, to samajh jati hooan ki vah chale gaye, jab dvar khulane ki avaz ati hai, to samajh jati hooan ki a gaye. samajh mean nahian ata ki maian hi kuchh aur ho gee ya patidev hi kuchh aur ho gaye. tab vah ghar mean bahut n ate the. jab unaki avaz kanoan mean a

jati to meri deh mean bijali-si dau d jati thi. unaki chhoti-chhoti batoan, chhote-chhote kamoan ko bhi maian anurakt, mugdh netroan se dekha karati thi. vah jab chhote lala ko god mean uthakar pyar karate the, jab tami ka sir thapathapakar use lita dete the, jab boodhi bhaktin ko chidhakar bahar bhag jate the, jab baltiyoan mean pani bhar-bhar paudoan ko sianchate the, tab ye aankhean usi or lagi rahati thian. par ab vah sare din ghar mean rahate haian, mere samane hansate haian, bolate haian, mujhe khabar bhi nahian hoti. n-jane kyoan ? tab kisi din unhoanne phooloan ka ek guladasta mere hath mean rakh diya tha aur muskaraye the. vah pranay ka upahar pakar maian phooli n samaee thi.

keval tho d-se phool aur pattiyaan thian; par unhean dekhane se meri aankhean kisi bhaanti tript hi n hoti thian. kuchh der hath mean liye rahi, phir apani mej par phooladan mean rakh diya. koee kam karati hoti, to bar-bar akar us guladaste ko dekh jati. kitani bar use aankhoan se lagaya, kitani bar use chooma ! koee ek lakh rupaye bhi deta, to use n deti. usaki ek-ek pankh di mere lie ek-ek ratn thi. jab vah murajha gaya, to maianne use uthakar apane baks mean rakh diya tha. tab se unhoanne mujhe hajaroan chizean upahar mean di haian ek-se-ek

ratnajatit abhooshan haian, ek-se-ek bahumooly vastra haian aur guladaste to pray: nity hi late haian; lekin in chijoan ko pakar vah ullas nahian hota. maian un chijoan ko pahanakar aine mean apana roop dekhati hooan aur garv se phool uthati hooan. apani hamajoliyoan ko dikhakar apana gaurav aur unaki eershya badhati hooan. bas.

abhi tho de hi din hue haian, unhoanne mujhe chandrahar diya hai. jo ise dekhata hai, mohit ho jata hai. maian bhi usaki banavat aur sajavat par mugdh hooan. maianne apana sandook khola aur us guladaste ko nikal laee. ah ! use

hath mean lete hi meri ek-ek nas mean bijali dau d gee. hriday ke sare tar kanpit ho gaye. vah sookhi huee pankh diyaan, jo ab pile rang ki ho gee thian bolati huee maloom hoti thian. usake sookhe, murajhaye hue mukhoan ke asphutit, kanpit, anurag mean doobe shabd sayan-sayan karake nikalate hue jan p date the; kiantu vah ratnajatit, kaanti se damakata hua har svarn aur pattharoan ka ek samooh tha, jisamean pran n the, sanjna n thi, marm n tha. maianne phir guladaste ko chooma, kanth se lagaya, ardr netroan se siancha aur phir sandook mean rakh aee. abhooshanoan se bhara hua sandook bhi us ek smriti-chihn ke samane tuchchh tha. yah kya rahasy tha ?

phir mujhe unake ek purane patr ki yad a gee. use unhoanne kalej se mere pas bheja tha. use padhakar mere hriday mean jo anand hua tha, jo toofan utha tha, aankhoan se jo nadi bahi thi, kya use kabhi bhool sakati hooan.

us patr ko maianne apani sohag ki pitari mean rakh diya tha. is samay us patr ko padhane ki prabal ichchha huee. maianne pitari se vah patr nikala. use sparsh karate hi mere hath kaanpane lage, hriday mean dh dakan hone lagi. maian kitani der use hath mean liye kh di rahi, kah nahian sakati. mujhe aisa maloom hua ki maian phir vahi ho gee hooan, jo patr pate samay thi. us patr mean kya prem ke kavittamay udgar the ? kya prem ki sahityik vivechana thi ? kya viyog-vyatha ka karun krandan tha ? usamean to prem ka ek shabd bhi n tha.

likha tha qamini, tumane ath dinoan se koee patr nahian likha. kyoan nahian likha ? agar tum mujhe patr n likhogi, to maian holi ki chhuttiyoan mean ghar n aooanga, itana samajh lo. akhir tum sare din kya karati ho ! mere upanyasoan ki alamari khol li hai kya ? apane meri alamari kyoan kholi ? samajhati hogi, maian patr n likhooangi to bacha khoob royeange aur hairan hoange. yahaan isaki paravah nahian. nau baje rat ko sota hooan, to ath baje uthata hooan. koee chianta hai, to yahi ki phel n ho jaooan. agar phel hua to tum janogi. kitana saral, bhole-bhale hriday se nikala hua, nishkapat manapoorn agrah aur atank se patr bhara hua tha, mano usaka sara uttaradayitv mere hi oopar tha. aisi dhamaki kya ab bhi vah mujhe de sakate haian ? kabhi nahian.

aisi dhamaki vahi de sakata hai, jo n mil sakane ki vyatha ko janata ho, usaka anubhav karata ho. patidev ab janate haian, is dhamaki ka mujh par koee asar n hoga, maian hansooangi aur aram se soooangi, kyoanki maian janati hooan, vah avashy ayeange aur unake lie thikana hi kahaan hai ? ja hi kahaan sakate haian ? tab se unhoanne mere pas kitane patr likhe haian. do-din ko bhi bahar jate haian, to zaroor ek patr bhejate haian, aur jab das-paanch din ko jate haian, to nity prati ek patr ata hai. patroan mean prem ke chune hue shabd, chune hue vaky, chune hue sanbodhan bhare hote haian. maian unhean padhati hooan aur ek thandi saans lekar rakh deti hooan. hay ! vah hriday kahaan gaya ? prem ke in nirjiv bhavashoony kritrim shabdoan mean vah abhinnata kahaan hai, vah ras kahaan hai, vah unmad kahaan hai, vah krodh kahaan hai ? vah jhuanjhalahat kahaan hai ? unamean mera man koee vastu khojata hai qoee ajnat, avyakt, alakshit vastu par vah nahian milati. unamean sugandh bhari hoti hai, patroan ke kagaz art-pepar ko mat karate haian; par unaka yah sara banav-sanvar kisi gatayauvana nayika ke banav-siangar ke sadrish hi lagata hai, kabhi-kabhi to maian patroan ko kholati bhi nahian. maian janati hooan, unamean kya likha hoga. unhian dinoan ki bat hai, maianne tije ka vrat kiya tha. maianne devi ke sammukh sir jhukakar vandana ki thi devi, maian tumase keval ek varadan maangati hooan. ham donoan praniyoan mean kabhi vichchhed n ho, aur mujhe koee abhilasha nahian, maian sansar ki aur koee vastu nahian chahati. tab se char sal ho gaye haian aur hamamean ek din ke lie bhi vichchhed nahian hua. maianne to keval ek varadan

maanga tha. devi ne varadanoan ka bhandar hi mujhe sauanp diya. par aj mujhe devi ke darshan hoan, to maian unase kahooan tum apane sare varadan le lo; maian inamean se ek bhi nahian chahati. maian phir vahi din dekhana chahati hooan, jab hriday mean prem ki abhilasha thi. tumane sabakuchh dekar mujhe us atul sukh se vanchit kar diya, jo abhilasha mean tha. maian abaki devi se vah din dikhane ki prarthana karooan, jab maian kisi nirjan jalatat aur saghan van mean apane priyatam ko dhooandhati phirooan. nadi ki laharoan se kahooan, mere priyatam ko tumane dekha hai ? vrikshoan se poochhooan, mere priyatam kahaan gaye ? kya vah sukh mujhe kabhi prapt n hoga ? usi samay mand, shital pavan chalane laga. maian khi daki ke bahar sir nikale kh di thi. pavan ke jhoanke se mere kesh ki latean bikharane lagian. mujhe aisa abhas hua, mano mere priyatam vayu ke in uchchhvasoan mean haian. phir maianne akash ki or dekha. chaand ki kiranean chaandi ke jagamagate taroan ki bhaanti aankhoan se aankhamichauni-si khel rahi thian. aankhean band karate samay samane a jatian; par aankhean kholate hi adrishy ho jati thian. mujhe us samay aisa abhas hua ki mere priyatam unhian jagamagate taroan par baithe akash se utar rahe haian.

usi samay kisi ne gaya

anokhe-se nehi ke tyag,

nirale pi da ke sansar !

kahaan hote ho antadhrdan,

luta karake sone-sa pyar !

'luta karake sone-sa pyar',

yah pad mere marmasthal ko tir ki bhaanti chhedata hua kahaan chala gaya, nahian janati. mere royean kh de ho gaye. aankhoan se aansuoan ki jh di lag gee. aisa maloom hua, jaise koee mere priyatam ko mere hriday se nikale liye jata hai. maian zor se chilla p di. usi samay patidev ki niand toot gee.

vah mere pas akar bole kya abhi tum chillaee thian ? are ! tum ro rahi ho ? kya bat hai ? koee svapn to nahian dekha ?

maianne sisakate hue kaha, roooan n, to kya hansooan ?

svami ne mera hath pak dakar kaha, kyoan, rone ka koee karan hai, ya yoan hi rona chahati ho?

'kya mere rone ka karan tum nahian janate ?'

'maian tumhare dil ki bat kaise jan sakata hooan ?'

'tumane janane ki cheshta kabhi ki hai ?'

'mujhe isaka san-guman bhi n tha ki tumhare rone ka koee karan ho sakata hai.'

'tumane to bahut kuchh padha hai, kya tum bhi aisi bat kah sakate ho ?'

svami ne vismay mean p dakar kaha, 'tum to paheliyaan bujhavati ho ?'

'kyoan, kya tum kabhi nahian rote ?'

'maian kyoan rone laga.'

'tumhean ab koee abhilasha nahian hai ?'

'meri sabase b di abhilasha poori ho gee. ab maian aur kuchh nahian chahata.'

yah kahate hue patidev muskaraye aur mujhe gale se lipata lene ko badhe. unaki yah hridayahinata is samay mujhe bahut buri lagi. maianne unhean hathoan se pichhe hatakar kaha, maian is svaang ko prem nahian samajhati. jo kabhi ro nahian sakata vah prem nahian kar sakata. rudan aur prem, donoan ek hi ऱet se nikalate haian. usi samay phir usi gane ki dhvani sunaee di

anokhe-se nehi ke tyag,

nirale pi da ke sansar !

kahaan hote ho aantardhan

luta karake sone-sa pyar !

patidev ki vah muskarahat lupt ho gee. maianne unhean ek bar kaanpate dekha. aisa jan p da, unhean romaanch ho raha hai. sahasa unaka dahina hath uthakar unaki chhati tak gaya. unhoanne lambi saans li aur unaki aankhoan

se aansoo ki booandean nikalakar galoan par a geean. turant maianne rote hue unaki chhati par sir rakh diya aur us param sukh ka anubhav kiya, jisake lie kitane dinoan se mera hriday t dap raha tha. aj phir mujhe patidev ka hriday

dh dakata hua sunaee diya, aj unake sparsh mean phir sphoorti ka jnan hua.

abhi tak us pad ke shabd mere hriday mean gooanj rahe the

kahaan hote ho aantardhan,

luta karake sone-sa pyar !