आपबीती- प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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prayah adhikaansh sahity-seviyoan ke jivan mean ek aisa samay ata hai jab pathakagan unake pas shraddha-poorn patr bhejane lagate haian. koee unaki rachana-shaili ki prashansa karata hai koee unake sadvicharoan par mugdh ho jata hai. lekhak ko bhi kuchh dinoan se yah saubhagy prapt hai. aise patroan ko padh kar usaka hriday kitana gadgad ho jata hai ise kisi sahity-sevi hi se poochhana chahie. apane phate kanbal par baitha hua vah garv aur atmagaurav ki laharoan mean doob jata hai. bhool jata hai ki rat ko gili lak di se bhojan pakane ke karan sir mean kitana dard ho raha tha khatamaloan aur machchharoan ne rat bhar kaise niand haram kar di thi. maian bhi kuchh hooan yah ahankar use ek kshan ke lie unmatt bana deta hai. pichhale sal savan ke mahine mean mujhe ek aisa hi patr mila. usamean meri kshudr rachanaoan ki dil khol kar dad di gayi thi.

patr-preshak mahoday svayan ek achchhe kavi the. maian unaki kavitaean patrikaoan mean aksar dekha karata tha. yah patr padh kar phoola n samaya. usi vakt javab likhane baitha. us tarang mean jo kuchh likh gaya is samay yad nahian. itana zaroor yad hai ki patr adi se aant tak prem ke udgaroan se bhara hua tha. maianne kabhi kavita nahian ki aur n koee gady-kavy hi likha par bhasha ko jitana sanvar sakata tha utana sanvara. yahaan tak ki jab patr samapt karake dubara padha to kavita ka anand aya. sara patr bhav-lality se paripoorn tha. paanchavean din kavi mahoday ka doosara patr a pahuancha. vah pahale patr se bhi kahian adhik marmasparshi tha. pyare bhaiya ! kah kar mujhe sambodhit kiya gaya tha meri rachanaoan ki soochi aur prakashakoan ke nam-thikane poochhe gaye the. aant mean yah shubh samachar hai ki meri patni ji ko apake oopar b di shraddha hai. vah b de prem se apaki rachanaoan ko padhati haian. vahi poochh rahi haian ki apaka vivah kahaan hua hai. apaki santanean kitani haian tatha apaka koee photo bhi hai ho to kripaya bhej dijie. meri janm-bhoomi aur vanshavali ka pata bhi poochha gaya tha. is patr visheshatah usake aantim samachar ne mujhe pulakit kar diya.

yah pahala hi avasar tha ki mujhe kisi mahila ke mukh se chahe vah pratinidhi dvara hi kyoan n ho apani prashansa sunane ka saubhagy prapt hua. garoor ka nasha chha gaya. dhany hai bhagavanh ! ab ramaniyaan bhi mere krity ki sarahana karane lagian ! maianne turant uttar likha. jitane karnapriy shabd meri smriti ke kosh mean the sab kharch kar diye. maitri aur bandhutv se sara patr bhara hua tha. apani vanshavali ka varnan kiya. kadachith mere poorvajoan ka aisa kirti-gan kisi bhat ne bhi n kiya hoga. mere dada ek zamiandar ke kariande the maianne unhean ek b di riyasat ka mainejar batalaya. apane pita ko jo ek daftar mean klark the us daftar ka pradhanadhyaksh bana diya. aur kashtakari ko jamiandari bana dena to sadharan bat thi. apani rachanaoan ki sankhya to n badha saka par unake mahattv adar aur prachar ka ullekh aise shabdoan mean kiya jo namrata ki ot mean apane garv ko chhipate haian. kaun nahian janata ki bahudha tuchchh ka arth usase viparit hota hai aur din ke mane kuchh aur hi samajhe jate haian. spasht se apani b daee karana uchchhriankhalata hai magar saanketik shabdoan se ap isi kam ko b di asani se poora kar sakate haian. khair mera patr samapt ho gaya aur tatkshan letarabaks ke pet mean pahuanch gaya.

isake bad do saptah tak koee patr n aya. maianne us patr mean apani grihini ki or se bhi do-char samayochit batean likh di thian. asha thi ghanishthata aur bhi ghanishth hogi. kahian kavita mean meri prashansa ho jay to kya poochhana ! phir to sahity-sansar mean maian hi najar aooan ! is chuppi se kuchh nirasha hone lagi lekin is dar se ki kahian kavi ji mujhe matalabi athava seantimaiantal n samajh lean koee patr n likh saka.

ashvin ka mahina tha aur tisara pahar. ramalila ki dhoom machi huee thi. maian apane ek mitr ke ghar chala gaya tha. tash ki bazi ho rahi thi. sahasa ek mahashay mera nam poochhate hue aye aur mere pas ki kurasi par baith gaye. mera unase kabhi ka parichay n tha. soch raha tha yah kaun adami hai aur yahaan kaise aya yar log un mahashay ki or dekh kar apas mean isharebajiyaan kar rahe the. unake akar-prakar mean kuchh navinata avashy thi. shyamavarn nata dil mukh par chechak ke dag nanga sir bal sanvare hue sirph sadi kamij gale mean phooloan ki ek mala pair mean phul-boot aur hath mean ek moti-si pustak !

maianne vismit ho kar nam poochha.

uttar mila-mujhe umapatinarayan kahate haian.

maian uth kar unake gale se lipat gaya. yah vahi kavi mahoday the jinake kee prem-patr mujhe mil chuke the. kushal-samachar poochha. pan-ilayachi se khatir ki. phir poochha-apaka ana kaise hua

unhoanne kaha-makan par chalie to sab vrittaant kahooanga. maian apake ghar gaya tha. vahaan maloom hua ap yahaan haian. poochhata hua chala aya.

maian umapati ji ke sath ghar chalane ko uth kh da hua ! jab vah kamare ke bahar nikal gaye to mere mitr ne poochha-yah kaun sahab haian

maian-mere ek naye dost haian.

mitr-jara inase hoshiyar rahiega. mujhe to uchakke-se maloom hote haian.

maian-apaka anuman galat hai. ap hamesha adami ko usaki sajadhaj se parakha karate haian. par manushy kap doan mean nahian hriday mean rahata hai.

mitr-khair ye rahasy ki batean to ap janean maian apako agah kiye deta hooan.

maianne isaka kuchh javab nahian diya. umapati ji ke sath ghar par aya. bazar se bhojan mangavaya. phir batean hone lagian. unhoanne mujhe apani kee kavitaean sunayian. svar bahut saras aur madhur tha.

kavitaean to meri samajh mean khak n ayian par maianne tariphoan ke pul baandh diye. jhoom-jhoom kar vah vah karane laga jaise mujhase badh kar koee kavy rasik sansar mean n hoga. sandhya ko ham ramalila dekhane gaye. lautakar unhean phir bhojan karaya. ab unhoanne apana vrittaant sunana shuroo kiya. is samay vah apani patni ko lene ke lie kanapur ja rahe haian. usaka makan kanapur hi mean hai. unaka vichar hai ki ek masik patrika nikalean. unaki kavitaoan ke lie ek prakashak 1 000 ru. deta hai par unaki ichchha to yah hai ki unhean pahale patrika mean kramashah nikal kar phir apani hi lagat se pustakakar chhapavayean. kanapur mean unaki jamiandari bhi hai par vah sahityik jivan vyatit karana chahate haian. jamiandari se unhean ghrina hai. unaki stri ek kanya-vidyalay mean pradhanadhyapika hai. adhi rat tak batean hoti rahian. ab unamean se adhikaansh yad nahian haian. haan ! itana yad hai ki ham donoan ne mil kar apane bhavi jivan ka ek karyakram taiyar kar liya tha. maian apane bhagy ko sarahata tha ki bhagavanh ne baithe-baithaye aisa sachcha mitr bhej diya. adhi rat bit gayi to soye. unhean doosare din 8 baje ki ga di se jana tha. maian jab so kar utha tab 7 baj chuke the. umapati ji hath-muanh dhoye taiyar baithe the. bole-ab ajna dijie lautate samay idhar hi se jaooanga. is samay apako kuchh kasht de raha hooan. kshama kijiega. maian kal chala to pratahkal ke 4 baje the. do baje rat se p da jag raha tha ki kahian niand n a jaye. balki yoan samajhie ki sari rat jagana p da kyoanki chalane ki chianta lagi huee thi. ga di mean baitha to jhapakiyaan ane lagian. kot utar kar rakh diya aur let gaya turant niand a gayi. mugalasaray mean niand khuli. kot gayab ! niche-oopar charoan taraph dekha kahian pata nahian. samajh gaya kisi mahashay ne u da diya. sone ki saza mil gayi. kot mean 50 ru. kharch ke lie rakhe the ve bhi usake sath u d gaye. ap mujhe 50 ru. dean. patni ko maike se lana hai kuchh kap de vagairah le jane p deange. phir sasural mean saik doan tarah ke neg-jog lagane haian. kadam-kadam par rupaye kharch hote haian. n kharch kijie to hansi ho. maian idhar se lautooanga to deta jaooanga.

maian b de sankoch mean p d gaya. ek bar pahale bhi dhokha kha chuka tha. turant bhram hua kahian abaki phir vahi dasha n ho. lekin shighr hi man ke is avishvas par lajjit hua. sansar mean sabhi manushy ek-se nahian hote. yah bechare itane sajjan haian. is samay sankat mean p d gaye haian. aur mithya sandeh mean p da hua hooan. ghar mean akar patni se kaha-tumhare pas kuchh rupaye to nahian haian

stri-kya karoge.

maian-mere mitr jo kal aye haian unake rupaye kisi ne ga di mean chura liye. unhean bivi ko bida karane sasural jana hai. lautati bar dete jayange.

patni ne vyangy karake kaha-tumhare yaan jitane mitr ate haian sab tumhean thagane hi ate haian sabhi sankat mean p de rahate haian. mere pas rupaye nahian haian.

maianne khushamad karate hue kaha-lao de do bechare taiyar kh de haian. ga di chhoot jayagi.

stri-kah do is samay ghar mean rupaye nahian haian.

maian-yah kah dena asan nahian hai. isaka arth to yah hai ki maian daridr hi nahian mitr-hin bhi hooan nahian to kya mere lie 50 ru. ka iantajam n ho sakata. umapati ko kabhi vishvas n ayega ki mere pas rupaye nahian haian. isase to kahian achchha ho ki saph-saph yah kah diya jay ki hamako ap par bharosa nahian hai ham apako rupaye nahian de sakate. kam se kam apana parda to dhaka rah jayaga.

shrimati ne jhuanjhala kar sandook ki kuanji mere age pheank di aur kaha-tumhean jitana bahas karana ata hai utana kahian adamiyoan ko parakhana ata to ab tak adami ho gaye hote ! le jao de do. kisi tarah tumhari marajad to bani rahe. lekin udhar samajh kar mat do yah samajh lo ki pani mean pheanke dete haian.

mujhe am khane se kam tha pe d ginane se nahian. chupake se rupaye nikale aur la kar umapati ko de diye. phir lautati bar akar rupaye de jane ka ashvasan de kar vah chal diye.

satavean din sham ko vah ghar se laut aye. unaki patni aur putri bhi sath thian. meri patni ne shakkar aur dahi khila kar unaka svagat kiya. muanh-dikhayi ke 20 ru. diye. unaki putri ko bhi mithaee khane ko 2 ru. diye. maianne samajha tha umapati ate hi ate mere rupaye ginane lageange lekin unhoanne pahar rat gaye tak rupayoan ka nam bhi nahian liya. jab maian ghar mean sone gaya to bivi se kaha-inhoanne to rupaye nahian diye ji !

patni ne vyangy se hans kar kaha-to kya sachamuch tumhean asha thi ki vah ate hi ate tumhare hath mean rupaye rakh deange maianne to tumase pahale hi kah diya tha ki phir pane ki asha se rupaye mat do yahi samajh lo ki kisi mitr ko sahayatarth de diye. lekin tum bhi vichitr adami ho.

maian lajjit aur chup ho raha. umapati ji do din rahe. meri patni unaka yathochit adar-satkar karati rahi. lekin mujhe utana santosh n tha. maian samajhata tha inhoanne mujhe dhokha diya.

tisare din pratahkal vah chalane ko taiyar hue. mujhe ab bhi asha thi ki vah rupaye de kar jayeange. lekin jab unaki nayi ramakahani suni to sannate mean a gaya. vah apana bistar baandhate hue bole-b da hi khed hai ki maian abaki bar apake rupaye n de saka. bat yah hai ki makan par pita ji se bheant hi nahian huee. vah tahasil-vasool karane gaanv chale gaye the. aur mujhe itana avakash n tha ki gaanv tak jata. rel ka rasta nahian hai. bailaga diyoan par jana p data hai. isilie maian ek din makan par rahakar sasural chala gaya. vahaan sab rupaye kharch ho gaye. bidaee ke rupaye n mil jate to yahaan tak ana kathin tha. ab mere pas rel ka kiraya tak nahian hai. ap mujhe 25 ru. aur de dean. maian vahaan jate hi bhej dooanga. mere pas ikke tak ka kiraya nahian hai.

ji mean to aya ki taka-sa javab de dooan par itani ashishtata n ho saki. phir patni ke pas gaya aur rupaye maange. abaki unhoanne bina kuchh kahe-sune rupaye nikal kar mere havale kar diye. maianne udasin bhav se rupaye umapati ji ko diye. jab unaki putri aur ardhaangini jine se utar gayian to unhoanne bistar uthaya aur mujhe pranam kiya. maianne baithe-baithe sar hila kar javab diya. unhean s dak tak pahuanchane bhi n gaya.

ek saptah ke bad umapati ji ne likha-maian karyavash barar ja raha hooan. laut kar rupaye bhejooanga.

15 din ke bad ek patr likh kar kushal-samachar poochhe. koee uttar n aya. 15 din ke bad phir rupayoan ka takaja kiya. usaka bhi kuchh javab n mila. ek mahine ke bad phir takaja kiya. usaka bhi yahi hal ! ek rajistari patr bheja. vah pahuanch gaya isamean sandeh nahian lekin javab usaka bhi n aya. samajh gaya samajhadar joroo ne jo kuchh kaha tha vah aksharashah saty tha ! nirash ho kar chup ho raha.

in patroan ki maianne patni se charcha bhi nahian ki aur n usi ne kuchh is bare mean poochha.

2

is kapat-vyavahar ka mujh par vahi asar p da jo sadharanatah svabhavik roop se p dana chahie. koee ooanchi aur pavitr atma is chhal par bhi atal rah sakati thi. use yah samajh kar santosh ho sakata tha ki maianne apane karttavy ko poora kar diya. yadi rrini ne rrin nahian chukaya to mera kya aparadh. par maian itana udar nahian hooan. yahaan to mahinoan sir khapata hooan kalam ghisata hooan tab ja kar nagad-narayan ke darshan hote haian.

isi mahine ki bat hai. mere yantralay mean ek naya kanpojitar bihar-praant se aya. kam mean chatur jan p data tha. maianne use 15 ru. masik par naukar rakh liya. pahale kisi aangreji skool mean padhata tha. asahayog ke karan padhana chho d baitha tha. gharavaloan ne kisi prakar ki sahayata dene se inakar kiya. vivash hokar usane jivika ke lie yah pesha akhtiyar kar liya. koee 17-18 varsh ki umr thi. svabhav mean ganbhirata thi. batachit bahut salike se karata tha. yahaan ane ke tisare din bukhar ane laga. do-char din to jyoan-tyoan karake kate lekin jab bukhar n chhoota to ghabara gaya. ghar ki yad ayi. aur kuchh n sahi gharavale kya dava-darapan bhi n kareange. mere pas akar bola-mahashay maian bimar ho gaya hooan. ap kuchh rupaye de dean to ghar chala jaooan. vahaan jate hi rupayoan ka prabandh karake bhej dooanga. vah vastav mean bimar tha. maian usase bhali-bhaanti parichit tha. yah bhi janata tha ki yahaan rahakar vah kabhi svasthy-labh nahian kar sakata. use sachamuch sahayata ki zaroorat thi. par mujhe shanka huee ki kahian yah bhi rupaye hajam n kar jay. jab ek vicharashil suyogy vidvanh purush dhokha de sakata hai to aise arddhashikshit navayuvak se kaise yah asha ki jay ki vah apane bachan ka palan karega

maian kee minat tak ghor sankat mean p da raha. aant mean bola-bhee mujhe tumhari dasha par bahut duahkh hai. magar maian is samay kuchh n kar sakooanga. bilakul khali hath hooan. khed hai.

yah kora javab sun kar usaki aankhoan se aansoo girane lage. vah bola-ap chahean to kuchh n kuchh prabandh avashy kar sakate haian. maian jate hi apake rupaye bhej dooanga.

maianne dil mean kaha-yahaan tumhari niyat saf hai lekin ghar pahuanch kar bhi yahi niyat rahegi isaka kya praman hai niyat saf rahane par bhi mere rupaye de sakoge ya nahian yah kaun jane kam se kam tumase vasool karane ka mere pas koee sadhan nahian hai. prakat mean kaha-isamean mujhe koee sandeh nahian hai lekin khed hai ki mere pas rupaye nahian haian. haan tumhari jitani tanakhvah nikalati ho vah le sakate ho.

usane kuchh javab nahian diya kiankartavyavimoodh ki tarah ek bar akash ki or dekha aur chala gaya. mere hriday mean kathin vedana huee. apani svarthaparata par glani huee. par aant ko maianne jo nishchay kiya tha usi par sthir raha. is vichar se man ko santosh ho gaya ki maian aisa kahaan ka dhani hooan jo yoan rupaye pani mean pheankata phirooan.

yah hai us kapat ka parinam jo mere kavi mitr ne mere sath kiya.

maloom nahian age chal kar is nirbalata ka kya kuphal nikalata par saubhagy se usaki naubat n ayi. eeshvar ko mujhe is apayash se bachana manjoor tha. jab vah aankhoan mean aansoo-bhare mere pas se chala to karyalay ke ek klark pan. prithvinath se usaki bheant ho gayi. pandit ji ne usase hal poochha. poora vrittaant sun lene par bina kisi aga-pichha ke unhoanne 15 ru. nikal kar use de diye. ye rupaye unhean karyalay ke munim se udhar lene p de. mujhe yah hal maloom hua to hriday ke oopar se ek bojh-sa utar gaya. ab vah bechara maje se apane ghar pahuanch jayaga. yah santosh muft hi mean prapt ho gaya. kuchh apani nichata par lajja bhi ayi. maian lanbe-lanbe lekhoan mean daya manushyata aur sadvyavahar ka upadesh kiya karata tha par avasar p dane par saf jan bacha kar nikal gaya ! aur yah bechara klark jo mere lekhoan ka bhakt tha itana udar aur dayashil nikala ! guru gu d hi rahe chela shakkar ho gaye. khair usamean bhi ek vyangy-poorn santosh tha ki mere upadeshoan ka asar mujh par n hua n sahi doosaroan par to hua! chirag ke tale aandhera raha to kya hua usaka prakash to phail raha hai ! par kahian bechare ko rupaye n mile (aur shayad hi milean isaki bahut kam asha hai) to khoob chhakeange. hajarat ko a de hathoan looanga. kiantu meri yah abhilasha n poori huee. paanchavean din rupaye a gaye. aisi aur aankhean khol denevali yatana mujhe aur kabhi nahian mili thi. khairiyat yahi thi ki maianne is ghatana ki charcha stri se nahian ki thi nahian to mujhe ghar mean rahana bhi mushkil ho jata.

3

uparyukt vrittaant likh kar maianne ek patrika mean bhej diya. mera uddeshy keval yah tha ki janata ke samane kapat-vyavahar ke kuparinam ka ek drishy rakhooan. mujhe svapn mean bhi asha n thi koee pratyaksh phal nikalega. isi se jab chauthe din anayas mere pas 75 ru. ka maniardar pahuancha to mere anand ki sima n rahi. preshak vahi mahashay the-umapati. koopan par keval kshama likha hua tha. maianne rupaye le jakar patni ke hathoan mean rakh diye aur koopan dikhalaya.

usane anamane bhav se kaha-inhean le ja kar yatn se apane sandook mean rakho. tum aise lobhi prakriti ke manushy ho yah mujhe aj jnat hua. tho de-se rupayoan ke lie kisi ke pichhe panje jha d kar p d jana sajjanata nahian hai. jab koee shikshit aur vinayashil manushy apane vachan ka palan n kare to yahi samajhana chahie ki vah vivash hai. vivash manushy ko bar-bar takajoan se lajjit karana bhalamanasi nahian hai. koee manushy jisaka sarvatha naitik patan nahian ho gaya hai yathashakti kisi ko dhokha nahian deta. in rupayoan ko maian tab tak apane pas nahian rakhooangi jab tak umapati ka koee patr nahian a jayaga ki kyoan rupaye bhejane mean itana vilamb hua.

par is samay maian aisi udar batean sunane ko taiyar n tha. dooba hua dhan mil gaya isaki khushi se phoola nahian samata tha.