धिक्कार (1) -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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{{#icon: Redirect-01.gif|dhyan dean}}upanyas samrat muanshi premachand ne 'dhikkar' namak shirshak se do kahaniyaan likhian hai, doosari padhane ke klik karean dhikkar (2)
anath aur vidhava mani ke liye jivan mean ab rone ke siva doosara avalanb n tha. vah paanch varsh ki thi, jab pita ka dehaant ho gaya. mata ne kisi tarah usaka palan kiya. solah varsh ki avastha mean muhalle valoan ki madad se usaka vivah bhi ho gaya par sal ke aandar hi mata aur ‍pati donoan vida ho gaye. is vipatti mean use upane chacha vanshidhar ke siva aur koee najar n aya, jo use ashray deta. vanshidhar ne ab tak jo vyavahar kiya tha, usase yah asha n ho sakati thi ki vahaan vah shaanti ke sath rah sakegi par vah sab kuchh sahane aur sab kuchh karane ko taiyar thi. vah gali, jhi daki, marapit sab sah legi, koee us par sandeh to n karega, us par mithya laanchhan to n lagega, shohadoan aur luchchoan se to usaki raksha hogi . vanshidhar ko kul maryada ki kuchh chianta huee. mani ki yachana ko asvikar n kar sake.

lekin do char mahine mean hi mani ko maloom ho gaya ki is ghar mean bahut dinoan tak usaka nibah n hoga. vah ghar ka sara kam karati, isharoan par nachati, sabako khush rakhane ki koshish karati par n jane kyoan chacha aur chachi donoan usase jalate rahate. usake ate hi mahari alag kar di gayi. nahalane-dhulane ke liye ek lauanda tha use bhi javab de diya gaya par mani se itana ubar hone par bhi chacha aur chachi n jane kyo usase muanh phulaye rahate. kabhi chacha ghu dakiyaan jamate, kabhi chachi kosati, yahaan tak ki usaki chacheri bahan lalita bhi bat-bat par use galiyaan deti. ghar-bhar mean keval usake chachere bhaee gokul hi ko usase sahanubhooti thi. usi ki batoan mean kuchh sneh ka parichay milata tha . vah upani mata ka svabhav janata tha. agar vah use samajhane ki cheshta karata, ya khullamakhulla mani ka paksh leta, to mani ko ek gh di ghar mean rahana kathin ho jata, isaliye usaki sahanubhooti mani hi ko dilasa dene tak rah jati thi. vah kahata- bahan, mujhe kahian naukar ho jane do, ‍phir tumhare kashtoan ka aant ho jayaga. tab dekhooanga, kaun tumhean tirachhi aankhoan se dekhata hai. jab tak padhata hooan, tabhi tak tumhare bure din haian. mani ye sneh mean doobi huee bat sunakar pulakit ho jati aur usaka roaan-roaan gokul ko ashirvad dene lagata.

2

aj lalita ka vivah hai. sabere se hi mehamanoan ka ana shuroo ho gaya hai. gahanoan ki jhanakar se ghar gooanj raha hai. mani bhi mehamanoan ko dekh-dekhakar khush ho rahi hai. usaki deh par koee abhooshan nahian hai aur n use suandar kap de hi diye gaye haian, phir bhi usaka mukh prasann hai.

adhi rat ho gayi thi. vivah ka muhoort nikat a gaya tha. janavase se chadhave ki chizean ayian . sabhi auratean utsuk ho-hokar un chijoan ko dekhane lagian. lalita ko abhooshan pahinaye jane lage. mani ke hriday mean b di ichchha huee ki jakar vadhoo ko dekhe. abhi kal jo balika thi, use aj vadhoo vesh mean dekhane ki ichchha n rok saki. vah muskarati huee kamare mean ghusi. sahasa usaki chachi ne jhi dakakar kaha- tujhe yahaan kisane bulaya tha, nikal ja yahaan se.

mani ne b di-b di yatanaean sahi thian, par aj ki vah jhi daki usake hriday mean ban ki tarah chubh gayi . usaka man use dhikkarane laga. ‘tere chhichhorepan ka yahi puraskar hai. yahaan suhaginoan ke bich mean tere ane ki kya zaroorat thi.’ vah khisiyaee huee kamare se nikali aur ekaant mean baithakar rone ke liye oopar jane lagi. sahasa jine par usaki iandranath se muthabhe d ho gayi. iandranath gokul ka sahapathi aur param mitr tha. vah bhi nyaute mean aya hua tha. is vakt gokul ko khojane ke liye oopar aya tha. mani ko vah do-bar dekh chuka tha aur yah bhi janata tha ki yahaan usake sath b da durvyavahar kiya jata hai. chachi ki batoan ki bhanak usake kan mean bhi p d gayi thi. mani ko oopar jate dekhakar vah usake chitt ka bhav samajh gaya aur use saantvana dene ke liye oopar aya, magar daravaza bhitar se band tha. usane kiva d ki darar se bhitar jhaanka. mani mej ke pas kh di ro rahi thi.

usane dhire se kaha- mani, dvar khol do.

mani usaki avaj sunakar kone mean chhip gayi aur ganbhir svar mean boli- kya kam hai?

iandranath ne gadh‍gadh‍ svar mean kaha- tumhare pairoan p data hooan mani, khol do.

yah sneh mean dooba hua hua vinay mani ke liye abhootapoorv tha . is nirday sansar mean koee usase aise vinati bhi kar sakata hai, isaki usane svaph‍n mean bhi kalpana n ki thi. mani ne kaanpate hue hathoan se dvar khol diya. iandranath jhapatakar kamare mean ghusa, dekha ki chhat se pankhe ke k de se ek rassi latak rahi hai. usaka hriday kaanp utha. usane turant jeb se chakoo nikalakar rassi kat di aur bola- kya karane ja rahi thi mani? janati ho, is aparadh ka kya‍ dand hai?

mani ne gardan jhukakar kaha- is dand se koee aur dand kathor ho sakata hai? jisaki soorat se logoan ko ghrina hai, use marane ke liye bhi agar kathor dand diya jay, to maian yahi kahooangi ki eeshvar ke darabar mean nyay ka nam bhi nahian hai. tum meri dasha ka anubhav nahian kar sakate. iandranath ki aankhean sajal ho gayian. mani ki batoan mean kitana kathor saty bhara hua tha . bola- sada ye din nahian raheange mani. agar tum yah samajh rahi ho ki sansar mean tumhara koee nahian hai, to yah tumhara bhram hai. sansar mean kam-se-kam ek manushy aisa hai, jise tumhare pran apane pranoan se bhi pyaanre haian.

sahasa gokul ata hua dikhaee diya. mani kamare se nikal gayi. iandranath ke shabdoan ne usake man mean ek toofan-sa utha diya. usaka kya ashay hai, yah usaki samajh mean n aya. ‍phir bhi aj use apana jivan sarthak maloom ho raha tha . usake aandhakaramay jivan mean ek prakash ka uday ho gaya.

3

iandranath ko vahaan baithe aur mani ko kamare se jate dekhakar gokul ko kuchh khatak gaya. usaki tyoriyaan badal gayian. kathor svar mean bola- tum yahaan kab aye?

iandranath ne avichalit bhav se kaha- tumhian ko khojata hua yahaan aya tha. tum yahaan n mile to niche lauta ja raha tha, agar chala gaya hota to is vakt tumhean yah kamara band milata aur pankhe ke k de mean ek lash latakati huee najar ati.

gokul ne samajha, yah apane aparadh ke chhipane ke liye koee bahana nikal raha hai. ti‍vr kanth se bola- tum yah vishvasaghat karoge, mujhe aisi asha n thi.

iandranath ka chehara lal ho gaya. vah avesh mean kh da ho gaya aur bola- n mujhe yah asha thi ki tum mujh par itana b da laanchhan rakh doge. mujhe n maloom tha ki tum mujhe itana nich aur kutil samajhate ho. mani tumhare liye tiraskar ki vastu ho, mere liye vah shraddha ki vastu hai aur rahegi. mujhe tumhare samane apani saphaee dene ki zaroorat nahian hai, lekin mani mere liye usase kahian pavitr hai, jitani tum samajhate ho. maian nahian chahata tha ki is vakt ‍tumase ye batean kahooan. isake liye aur anookool pari‍‍sthitiyoan ki rah dekh raha tha, lekin muamala a p dane par kahana hi p d raha hai. maian yah to janata tha ki mani ka tumhare ghar mean koee adar nahian, lekin tum log use itana nich aur tyajy samajhate ho, yah aj tumhari mataji ki batean sunakar maloom hua. keval itani-si bat ke liye vah chadhave ke gahane dekhane chali gayi thi, tumhahri mata ne use is buri tarah jhi daka, jaise koee kutte ko bhi n jhi dakega. tum kahoge, isamean maian kya karooan, maian kar hi kya sakata hooan. jis ghar mean ek anath stri par itana atyachar ho, us ghar ka pani pina bhi haram hai. agar tumane apani mata ko pahale hi din samajha diya hota, to aj yah naubat n ati. tum is iljam se nahian bach sakate. tumhare ghar mean aj utsav hai, maian tumhare mata-pita se kuchh batachit nahian kar sakata, lekin tumase kahane mean sankoch nahian hai ki mani ko ko maian apani jivan sahachari banakar apane ko dhany samajhooanga. maianne samajha tha, apana koee thikana karake tab yah prastav karooanga par mujhe bhay hai ki aur vilamb karane mean shayad mani se hath dhona p de, isaliye tumhean aur tumhare ghar valoan ko chianta se mukt karane ke liye maian aj hi yah prastav kiye deta hooan.

gokul ke hriday mean iandranath ke prati aisi shraddha kabhi n huee thi. us par aisa sandeh karake vah bahut hi l‍‍‍jjit hua. usane yah anubhav bhi kiya ki mata ke bhay se maian mani ke vishay mean tatasth rahakar kayarata ka doshi hua hooan. yah keval kayarata thi aur kuchh nahian. kuchh jheanpata hua bola- agar ammaan ne mani ko is bat par jhi daka to vah unaki moorkhata hai. maian unase avasar milate hi poochhooanga.

iandranath- ab poochhane-pachhane ka samay nikal gaya. maian chahata hooan ki tum mani se is vishay mean salah karake mujhe batala do. maian nahian chahata ki ab vah yahaan kshan-bhar bhi rahe. mujhe aj maloom hua ki vah garvini prakriti ki stri hai aur sach poochho to maian usake svabhav par mugdh ho gaya hooan. aisi stri atyachar nahian sah sakati.

gokul ne darate-darate kaha- lekin tumhean maloom hai, vah vidhava hai?

jab ham kisi ke hathoan apana asadharan hit hote dekhate haian, to ham apani sari buraiyaan usake samane kholakar rakh dete haian. ham use dikhana chahate haian ki ham apaki is kripa ke sarvatha yogy nahian haian.

iandranath ne muskarakar kaha- janata hooan, sun chuka hooan aur isiliye tumhare babooji se kuchh kahane ka mujhe ab tak sahas nahian hua. lekin n janata to bhi isaka mere nishchay par koee asar n p data. mani vidhava hi nahian, achhoot ho, usase bhi gayi-biti agar kuchh ho sakati hai, vah bhi ho, phir bhi mere liye vah ramani-ratn, hai. ham chhote-chhote kamoan ke liye tajurbekar adami khojate haian, jisake sath hamean jivan-yatra karani hai, usamean tajurbe ka hona aib samajhate haian. maian nyay ka gala ghotanevaloan mean nahian hooan. vipatti se badhakar tajurba sikhane vala koee vidyalay aj tak nahian khula. jisane is vidyalay mean digri le li, usake hathoan mean ham nishchiant hokar jivan ki bagador de sakate haian. kisi ramani ka vidhava hona meri aankhoan mean dosh nahian, gun hai.

gokul ne poochha- lekin tumhare ghar ke log?

iandranath ne prasann hokar kaha- maian apane gharavaloan ko itana moorkh nahian samajhata ki is vishay mean apatti karean; lekin ve apatti karean bhi to maian apani kismat apane hath mean hi rakhana pasand karata hooan. mere b doan ko mujhapar anekoan adhikar haian. bahut-si batoan mean maian unaki ichchha ko qanoon samajhata hooan, lekin jis bat ko maian apani atma ke vikas ke liye shubh samajhata hooan, usamean maian kisi se dabana nahian chahata. maian is garv ka anand uthana chahata hooan ki maian svayan apane jivan ka nirmata hooan.

gokul ne kuchh shankit hokar kaha- aur agar mani n manjoor kare?

iandranath ko yah shanka bilkul nirmool jan p di. bole- tum is samay bachchoan ki-si bat kar rahe ho gokul. yah mani huee bat hai ki mani asani se manjoor n karegi. vah is ghar mean thokarean khayegi, jhi dakiyaan sahegi, galiyaan sunegi, par isi ghar mean rahegi. yugoan ke sanskaroan ko ‍mita dena asan nahian hai, lekin hamean usako raji karana p dega. usake man se sanchit sanskaroan ko nikalana p dega. maian vidhavaoan ke punarvivah ke paksh mean nahian hooan. mera khayal hai ki pativrat ka alaukik adarsh sansar ka amooly ratn hai aur hamean bahut soch-samajhakar us par aghat karana chahie; lekin mani ke vishay mean yah bat nahian uthati. prem aur bhakti nam se nahian, vyakti se hoti hai. jis purush ki usane soorat bhi nahian dekhi, usase use prem nahian ho sakata. keval rasm ki bat hai. is adanbar ki, is dikhave ki, hamean paravah nahian karani chahie. dekho, shayad koee tumhean ‍bula raha hai. maian bhi ja raha hooan. do-tin din mean ‍phir milooanga, magar aisa n ho ki tum sankoch mean p dakar sochate-vicharate rah jao aur din nikalate chale jayan.

gokul ne usake gale mean hath dalakar kaha- maian parasoan khud hi aooanga.

4

barat ‍vida ho gayi thi. mehaman bhi rukhasat ho gaye the. rat ke nau baj gaye ‍the. vivah ke bad ki niand mashahoor hai. ghar ke sabhi log saresham se so rahe the. koee charapaee par, koee takht par, koee zamin par, jise jahaan jagah mil gayi, vahian so raha tha. keval mani ghar ki dekhabhal kar rahi thi aur oopar gokul apane kamare mean baitha hua samachar padh raha tha.

sahasa gokul ne pukara- mani, ek glas thanda pani to lana, pyas lagi hai.

mani pani lekar oopar gayi aur mej par pani rakhakar lautana hi chahati thi ki gokul ne kaha- jara thaharo mani, tumase kuchh kahana hai.

mani ne kaha- abhi phurasat nahian hai bhaee, sara ghar so raha hai . kahian koee ghus aye to lota-thali bhi n bache.

gokul ne kaha- ghus ane do, maian tumhari jagah hota, to choroan se milakar chori karava deta. mujhe isi vakt iandranath se milana hai. maianne usase aj milane ka vachan diya hai- dekho sankoch mat karana, jo bat poochh raha hooan, usaka jald uttar dena. der hogi to vah ghabarayega. iandranath ko tumase prem hai, yah tum janati ho n?

mani ne muanh pherakar kaha- yahi bat kahane ke liye mujhe bulaya tha? maian kuchh nahian janati.

gokul- khair, yah vah jane aur tum jano. vah tumase vivah karana chahata hai. vaidik riti se vivah hoga. tumhean svikar hai?

mani ki gardan sharm se jhuk gayi. vah kuchh javab n de saki .

gokul ne ‍‍phir kaha- dada aur ammaan se yah bat nahian kahi gayi, isaka karan tum janati hi ho . vah tumhean ghu dakiyaan de-dekar jala-jalakar chahe mar dalean, par vivah karane ki sammati kabhi nahian deange. isase unaki nak kat jayegi, isaliye ab isaka nirnay tumhare hi oopar hai. maian to samajhata hooan, tumhean svikar kar lena chahie. iandranath tumase prem karata hi hai, yoan bhi nishkalank charitr ka adami aur bala ka diler hai . bhay to use chhoo hi nahian gaya. tumhean sukhi dekhakar mujhe sachcha anand hoga.

mani ke hriday mean ek veg uth raha tha, magar muanh se avaj n nikali.

gokul ne abaki khijhakar kaha- dekho mani, yah chup rahane ka samay nahian hai. kya sochati ho?

mani ne kaanpate svar mean kaha- haan.

gokul ke hriday ka bojh halka ho gaya. muskarane laga. mani sharm ke mare vahaan se bhag gayi.

5

sham ko gokul ne apani maan se kaha- ammaan, iandranath ke ghar aj koee utsav hai. usaki mata akeli ghab da rahi thi ki kaise sab kam hoga, maianne kaha, maian mani ko kal bhej dooanga. tumha‍ri ajna ho, to mani ka pahuancha dooan. kal-parasoan tak chali ayegi.

mani usi vakt vahaan a gayi, gokul ne usaki or kanakhiyoan se taka. mani lajja‍ se g d gayi . bhagane ka rasta n mila.

maan ne kaha- mujhase kya poochhate ho, vah jay, to le jao.

gokul ne mani se kaha- kap de pahanakar taiyar ho jao, tumhean iandranath ke ghar chalana hai.

mani ne apatti ki- mera ji achchha nahian hai, maian n jaooangi.

gokul ki maan ne kaha- chali kyoan nahian jati, kyar vahaan koee paha d khodana hai?

mani ek saphed sa di pahanakar taange par baithi, to usaka hriday kaanp raha tha aur bar-bar aankhoan mean aansoo bhar ate the. usaka hriday baitha jata tha, manoan nadi mean dubane ja rahi ho.

taanga kuchh door nikal gaya to usane gokul se kaha- bhaiya, mera ji n jane kaisa ho raha hai. ghar chalo, tumhare pair p dati hooan.

gokul ne kaha- too pagal hai. vahaan sab log teri rah dekh rahe haian aur too kahati hai laut chalo.

mani- mera man kahata hai, koee anisht hone vala hai.

gokul- aur mera man kahata hai too rani banane ja rahi hai.

mani- das-paanch din thahar kyoan nahian jate? kah dena, mani bimar hai.

gokul- pagaloan ki-si batean n karo.

mani- log kitana hanseange.

gokul- maian shubh kary mean kisi ki hansi ki paravah nahian karata.

mani- ammaan tumhean ghar mean ghusane n deangi. mere karan tumhean bhi jhi dakiyaan mileangi.

gokul- isaki koee paravah nahian hai. unaki to yah adat hi hai.

taanga pahuanch gaya. iandranath ki mata vicharashil mahila thian. unhoanne akar vadhoo ko utara aur bhitar le gayian.

6

gokul vahaan se ghar chala to gyarah baj rahe the. ek or to shubh kary ke poora karane ka anand tha, doosari or bhay tha ki kal mani n jayagi, to logoan ko kya javab dooanga. usane nishchay kiya, chalakar saph-saph kah dooan. chhipana vyarth hai . aj nahian kal, kal nahian parasoan to sab-kuchh kahana hi p dega. aj hi kyoan n kah dooan.

yah nishchay karake vah ghar mean dakhil hua.

mata ne kiva d kholate hue kaha- itani rat tak kya karane lage? use bhi kyoan n lete aye? kal savere chauka-bartan kaun karega?

gokul ne sir jhukakar kaha- vah to ab shayad lautakar n aye ammaan, usake vahian rahane ka prabandh ho gaya hai.

mata ne aankhean pha dakar kaha -kya bakata hai, bhala vah vahaan kaise rahegi?

gokul- iandranath se usaka vivah ho gaya hai.

mata mano akash se gir p di. unhean kuchh sudh n rahi ki mere muanh se kya nikal raha hai, kulaangar, bh dava, haramajada, n jane kya -kya kaha . yahaan tak ki gokul ka dhairy charamasima ka ullanghan kar gaya . usaka muanh lal ho gaya, tyoriyaan chadh gayi, bola- ammaan, bas karo. ab mujhamean isase jh‍yada sunane ki samarthy nahian hai. agar maianne koee anuchit karm kiya hota, to apaki jootiyaan khakar bhi sir n uthata, magar maianne koee anuchit karm nahian kiya. maianne vahi kiya jo aisi dasha mean mera kartavy tha aur jo har ek bhale adami ko karana chahie. tum moorkha ho, tumhean nahian maloom ki samay ki kya pragati hai. isiliye ab tak maianne dhairy ke sath tumhari galiyaan suni. tumane, aur mujhe du:kh ke sath kahana p data hai ki pitaji ne bhi, mani ke jivan ko narakiy bana rakha tha. tumane use aisi-aisi ta danaean di, jo koee apane shatru ko bhi n dega. isiliye n ki vah tumhari ashrit thi? isiliye n ki vah anathini thi? ab vah tumhari galiyaan khane n avegi. jis din tumhare ghar vivah ka utsav ho raha tha, tumhare hi ek kathor vaky se ahat hokar vah atmahatya karane ja rahi thi. iandranath us samay oopar n pahuanch jate to aj ham, tum, sara ghar havalat mean baitha hota.

mata ne aankhean matakakar kaha- aha ! kitane sapoot bete ho tum, ki sare ghar ko sankat se bacha liya. kyoan n ho ! abhi bahan ki bari hai. kuchh din mean mujhe le jakar kisi ke gale mean baandh ana. ‍phir tumhari chaandi ho jayagi. yah rozagar sabase achchha hai. padh likhakar kya karoge?

gokul marm-vedana se tilamila utha. vyathit kanth se bola- eeshvar n kare ki koee balak tum jaisi mata ke garbh se janm le. tumhara muanh dekhana bhi pap hai.

yah kahata hua vah ghar se nikal p da aur unmattoan ki tarah ek taraph chal kh da hua. zor ke jhoanke chal rahe the, par use aisa maloom ho raha tha ki saans lene ‍ke liye hava nahian hai.

7

ek saptah bit gaya par gokul ka kahian pata nahian. iandranath ko banbee mean ek jagah mil gayi thi. vah vahaan chala gaya tha. vahaan rahane ka prabandh karake vah apani mata ko tar dega aur tab sas aur bahoo vahaan chali jayangi. vanshidhar ko pahale sandeh hua ki gokul iandranath ke ghar chhipa hoga, par jab vahaan pata n chala to unhoanne sare shahar mean khoj-poochh shuroo ki. jitane milane vale, mitr, sne‍hi, sanbandhi the, sabhi ke ghar gaye, par sab jagah se saf javab ‍paya. din-bhar dau d-dhoop kar sham ko ghar ate, to stri ko a de hathoan lete- aur koso l dake ko, pani pi-pikar koso. n jane tumhean kabhi bu‍ddhi ayegi bhi ya nahian . gayi thi chu dail, jane deti. ek bojh sir se tala. ek mahari rakh lo, kam chal jayaga. jab vah n thi, to ghar kya bhookhoan marata tha? vidhavaoan ke punarvivah charoan or to ho rahe haian, yah koee anahoni bat nahian hai. hamare bas ki bat hoti, to vidhava-vivah ke pakshapatiyoan ko desh se nikal dete, shap dekar jala dete, lekin yah hamare bas ki bat nahian. phir tumase itana bhi n ho saka ki mujhase to poochh letian. maian jo uchit samajhata, karata. kya tumane samajha tha, maian daftar se lautakar aooanga hi nahian, vahian meri aantyeshti ho jayagi. bas, l dake par toot p dian. ab roo, khoob dil kholakar.

sandhya ho gayi thi. vanshidhar stri ko phatakarean sunakar dvar par udveg ki dasha mean tahal rahe the. rah-rahakar mani par krodh ata tha. isi rakshasi ke karan mere ghar ka sarvanash hua. n jane kis buri sait mean ayi ki ghar ko mitakar chho da. vah n ayi hoti, to aj kyoan yah bure din ‍dekhane p date. ‍kitana honahar, kitana pratibhashali l daka tha. n jane kahaan gaya?

ekaek ek budhiya unake samip ayi aur boli- baboo sahab, yah khat layi hooan. le lijie.

vanshidhar ne lapakakar budhiya ke hath se patr le liya, unaki chhati asha se dhak-dhak karane lagi. gokul ne shayad yah patr likha hoga. aandhere mean kuchh n sujha. poochha- kahaan se ayi hai?

budhiya ne kaha- vah jo baboo husaneganj mean rahate haian, jo banbee mean naukar haian, unhian ki bahoo ne bheja hai.

vanshidhar ne kamare mean jakar laianp jalaya aur patr padhane lage. mani ka khat tha. likha tha-

‘poojy chachaji, abhagini mani ka pranam svikar kijie.

mujhe yah sunakar atyant du:kh hua ki gokul bhaiya kahian chale gaye aur ab tak unaka pata nahian hai. maian hi isaka karan hooan. yah kalank mere hi mukh par lagana tha vah bhi lag gaya. mere karan apako itana shok hua, isaka mujhe bahut du:kh hai, magar bhaiya aveange avashy, isaka mujhe vishva‍s hai. maian isi nau baje vali ga di se banbee ja rahi hooan . mujhase jo kuchh aparadh hua hai, use kshama kijiega aur chachi se mera pranam kahiega. meri eeshvar se yahi prarthana hai ki shighr hi gokul bhaiya sakushal ghar laut avean. eeshvar ki ichchha huee to bhaiya ke vivah mean apake charanoan ke darshan karooangi.’

vanshidhar ne patr ko pha dakar purje-purje kar dala. gh di mean dekha to ath baj rahe the. turant kap de pahane, s dak par akar ekka kiya aur steshan chale.

8

banbee mel pletapharm par kh di thi. musa‍phiroan mean bhagad d machi huee thi. khomache valoan ki chikh-pukar se kan mean p di avaj n sunaee deti thi. ga di chhootane mean tho di hi der thi. mani aur usaki sas ek janane kamare mean ‍baithi huee thian. mani sajal netroan se samane tak rahi thi. atit chahe duahkhad hi kyoan n ho, usaki smritiyaan madhur hoti haian. mani aj bure dinoan ko smaran karake du:khi ho rahi thi. gokul se ab n jane kab bheant hogi. chachaji a jate to unake darshan kar leti. kabhi-kabhi big date the to kya, usake bhale hi ke liye to daantate the. vah aveange nahian. ab to ga di chhootane mean tho di hi der hai. kaise avean, samaj mean halachal n mach jayagi. bhagavan ki ichchha hogi, to abaki jab yahaan aooangi, to zaroor unake darshan karooangi.

ekaek usane lala vanshidhar ko ate dekha. vah ga di se nikalakar bahar kh di ho gayi aur chachaji ki or badhi. charanoan par girana chahati thi ki vah pichhe hat gaye aur aankhean nikalakar bole- mujhe mat chhoo, door rah, abhagini kahian ki. muanh mean kalikh lagakar mujhe patr likhati hai. tujhe maut bhi nahian ati. toone mere kul ka sarvanash kar diya. aj tak gokul ka pata nahian hai. tere karan vah ghar se nikala aur too abhi tak meri chhati par mooang dalane ko baithi hai. tere liye kya ganga mean pani nahian hai? maian tujhe aisi kulata, aisi harajaee samajhata, to pahale din hi tera gala ghoant deta. ab mujhe apani bhakti dikhalane chali hai. tere jaisi papishthaoan ka marana hi achchha hai, prithvi ka bojh kam ho jayaga.

pletapharm par saik doan adamiyoan ki bhi d lag gayi thi aur vanshidhar nirlajj bhav se galiyoan ki bauchhar kar rahe the. kisi ki samajh mean n ata tha, kya majara hai, par man se sab lala ko ‍dhikkar rahe ‍the.

mani pashan-moorti ke saman kh di thi, mano vahian jam gayi ho. usaka sara abhiman choor-choor ho gaya. aisa ji chahata tha, dharati phat jay aur maian sama jaooan, koee vajr girakar usake jivan- adham jivan- ka aant kar de. itane adamiyoan ke samane usaka pani utar gaya. usaki aankhoan se pani ki ek booand bhi n nikali, hriday mean aansoo n the. usaki jagah ek davanal-sa dahak raha tha, jo mano veg se mastishk ki or badhata chala jata tha. sansar mean kaun jivan itana adham hoga !

sas ne pukara- bahoo, aandar a jao.

9

ga di chali to mata ne kaha- aisa besharm adami nahian dekha. mujhe to aisa krodh a raha tha ki usaka muanh noch looan.

mani ne sir oopar n uthaya.

mata ‍phir boli- n jane in s diyaloan ‍ko buddhi kab ayegi, ab to marane ke din bhi a gaye. poochho, tera l daka bhag gaya to ham kya karean; agar aise papi n hote to yah vajr hi kyoan girata.

mani ne phir bhi muanh n khola. shayad use kuchh sunaee hi n diya tha. shayad use apane astitv ka jnan bhi n tha. vah takataki lagaye khi daki ki or tak rahi thi. us aandhakar mean use jane kya soojh raha tha .

kanapur aya. mata ne poochha- beti, kuchh khaogi? tho di-si mithaee kha lo; das kab ke baj gaye.

mani ne kaha- abhi to bhookh nahian hai ammaan, phir kha looangi.

mataji soee. mani bhi leti; par chacha ki vah soorat aankhoan ke samane kh di thi aur unaki batean kanoan mean gooanj rahi thian- ah ! maian itani nich hooan, aisi patit, ki mere mar jane se prithvi ka bhar halka ho jayaga? kya kaha tha, too apane maan-bap ki beti hai to phir muanh mat dikhana. n dikhaooangi, jis muanh par aisi kalima lagi huee hai, use kisi ko dikhane ki ichchha bhi nahian hai.

ga di aandhakar ko chirati chali ja rahi thi. mani ne apana trank khola aur apane abhooshan nikalakar usamean rakh diye. ‍phir iandranath ka chitr nikalakar use der tak dekhati rahi . usaki aankhoan mean garv ki ek jhalak-si dikhaee di. usane tasavir rakh di aur ap-hi-ap boli- nahian-nahian, maian tumhare jivan ko kalankit nahian kar sakati. tum devatuly ho, tumane mujh par daya ki hai. maian apane poorv sanskaroan ka prayashchit kar rahi thi. tumane mujhe uthakar hriday se laga liya; lekin maian tumhean kalankit n karooangi. tumhean mujhase prem hai. tum mere liye anadar, apaman, nianda sab sah loge; par maian tumhare jivan ka bhar n ‍banooangi.

ga di aandhakar ko chirati chali ja rahi thi. mani akash ki or itani der tak dekhati rahi ki sare tare adrishy ho gaye aur us aandhakar mean use apani mata ka svaroop dikhaee diya-aisa ujjval, aisa pratyaksh ki usane chauankakar aankhean band kar lian.

10

n jane kitani rat gujar chuki thi. daravaza khulane ki ahat se mata ji ki aankhean khul gayian. ga di tezise chalati ja rahi thi; magar bahoo ka pata n tha. vah aankhean malakar uth baithian aur pukara- bahoo ! bahoo ! koee javab n mila.

unaka hriday dhak-dhak karane laga. oopar ke barth par najar dali, peshabakhane mean dekha, beanchoan ke niche dekha, bahoo kahian n thi. tab vah dvar par akar kh di ho gayi. bahoo ka kya hua, yah dvar kisane khola? koee ga di mean to nahian aya. unaka ji ghabarane laga. unhoanne kiva d band kar diya aur jor-jor se rone lagian . kisase poochhean? dakaga di ab n jane kitani der mean rookegi. kahati thi, bahoo maradani ga di mean baithean. par mera kahana n mana. kahane lagi, ammaan ji, apako sone ki takaliph hogi. yahi aram de gayi?

sahasa use khatare ki janjir yad aee. usane jor-jor se kee bar janjir khianchi. kee minat ke bad ga di rooki. gard aya. p dos ke kamare se do-char adami aur bhi aye. phir logoan ne sara kamara talash kiya. niche takhte ko dhyan se dekha. rakt ka koee chihn n tha. asabab ki jaanch ki. bistar, sandook, sandukachi, baratan sab maujood the. tale bhi sab band the. koee chiz gayab n thi. agar bahar se koee adami ata, to chalati ga di se jata kahaan? ek stri ko lekar ga di se kood jana asanbhav tha. sab log in lakshanoan se isi natije par pahuanche ki mani dvar kholakar bahar jhaankane lagi hogi aur muthiya hath se chhoot jane ke karan gir p di hogi. gard bhala adami tha. usane niche utarakar ek mil tak s dak ke donoan taraph talash kiya. mani ka koee nishan n mila. rat ko isase zyada aur kya kiya ja sakata tha? mataji ko kuchh log agrahapoorvak ek maradane dibbe mean le gaye. yah nishchay hua ki mataji agale steshan par utar p dean aur sabere idhar-udhar door tak dekh-bhal ki jay. vipatti mean ham paramukhapekshi ho jate haian. mataji kabhi isaka muanh dekhati, kabhi usaka. unaki yachana se bhari huee aankhean mano sabase kah rahi thian- koee meri bachchi ko khoj kyoan nahian lata?hay, abhi to bechari ki chuandari bhi nahian maili huee. kaise-kaise sadhoan aur aramanoan se bhari pati ke pas ja rahi thi. koee us dusht vanshidhar se jakar kahata kyoan ‍nahian- le teri manobhilasha poori ho gayi- jo too chahata tha, vah poora ho gaya. kya ab bhi teri chhati nahian ju dati .

vuddha baithi ro rahi thi aur ga di aandhakar ko chirati chali jati thi .

11

ravivar ka din tha. sandhya samay iandranath do-tin mitroan ke sath apane ghar ki chhat par baitha hua tha. apas mean has-parihas ho raha tha. mani ka agaman is parihas ka vishay tha.

ek mitr bole- kyoan iandr, tumane to vaivahik jivan ka kuchh anubhav kiya hai, hamean kya salah dete ho? banayean kahian ghosala, ya yoan hi daliyoan par baithe-baithe din katean? patr-patrikaoan ko dekhakar to yahi maloom hota hai ki vaivahik jivan aur narak mean kuchh tho da hi-sa aantar hai .

iandranath ne muskarakar kaha- yah to takadir ka khel hai, bhaee, solahoan ana takadir ka. agar ek dasha mean vaivahik jivan narakatuly hai, to doosari dasha mean svarg se kam nahian .

doosare mitr bole- itani azadi to bhala kya rahegi?

iandranath- itani kya, isaka shataansh bhi n rahegi. agar tum roj sinema dekhakar barah baje lautana chahate ho, nau baje sokar uthana chahate ho aur daftar se char baje lautakar tash khelana chahate ho, to tumhean vivah karane se koee sukh n hoga. aur jo har mahine soot banavate ho, tab shayad sal-bhar mean bhi n banava sako.

‘shrimatiji, to aj rat ki ga di se a rahi haian?’

‘haan, mel se. mere sath chalakar unhean risiv karoge n?’

‘yah bhi poochhane ki bat hai ! ab ghar kaun jata hai, magar kal davat khilani p degi.‘

sahasa tar ke chaparasi ne akar iandranath ke hath mean tar ka liphapha rakh diya.

iandranath ka chehara khil utha. jhat tar kholakar padhane laga. ek bar padhate hi usaka hriday dhak ho gaya, saans rook gayi, sir ghoomane laga. aankhoan ki roshani lupt ho gayi, jaise vishv par kala parada p d gaya ho. usane tar ko mitroan ke samane pheank diya or donoan hathoan se muanh dhaanpakar phoot-phootakar rone laga. donoan mitroan ne ghab dakar tar utha liya aur use padhate hi hatabuddhi-se ho divar ki or takane lage. kya soch rahe the aur kya ho gaya !

tar mean likha tha- mani ga di se kood p di. usaki lash lalapur se tin mil par payi gayi. maian lalapur mean hooan, turant ao.

ek mitr ne kaha- kisi shatru ne jhoothi khabar n bhej di ho?

doosare mitr bole- haan, kabhi-kabhi log aisi shararatean karate haian.

iandranath ne shoony netroan se unaki or dekha, par muanh se kuchh bole nahian.

kee minat tinoan adami nirvakh nispand baithe rahe. ekaek iandranath kh de ho gaye aur bole- maian is ga di se jaooanga.

banbee se nau baje rat ko ga di chhootati thi. donoan mitroan ne chatapat bistar adi baandhakar taiyar kar diya. ek ne bistar uthaya, doosare ne trank. iandranath ne chatapat kap de pahane aur steshan chale. nirasha age thi, asha roti huee pichhe.

12

ek saptah gujar gaya tha. lala vanshidhar daftar se akar dvar par baithe hi the ki iandranath ne akar pranam kiya. vanshidhar use dekhakar chauank p de, usake anapekshit agaman par nahian, usaki vikrit dasha par, mano vitarag shok samane kh da ho, mano koee hriday se nikali huee ah moortimanh ho gayi ho.

vanshidhar ne poochha- tum to banbee chale gaye the n?

iandranath ne javab diya- ji haan, aj hi aya hooan.

vanshidhar ne tikhe svar mean kaha- gokul ko to tum le bite !

iandranath ne apani aangoothi ki or takate hue kaha- vah mere ghar par haian.

vanshidhar ke udas mukh par harsh ka prakash dau d gaya. bole- to yahaan kyoan nahian aye? tumase kahaan usaki bheant huee? kya banbee chala gaya tha?

‘ji nahian, kal maian ga di se utara to steshan par mil gaye.‘

‘to jakar liva lao n, jo kiya achchha kiya.‘

yah kahate hue vah ghar mean dau de. ek kshan mean gokul ki mata ne use aandar bulaya.

vah aandar gaya to mata ne use sir se paanv tak dekha- tum bimar the kya bhaiya? chehara kyoan itana utara hai?

gokul ki mata ne pani ka lota rakhakar kaha- hath-muanh dho dalo beta, gokul hai to achchhi tarah? kahaan raha itane din ! tab se saik doan mannatean man dalian. aya kyoan nahian?

iandranath ne hath-muanh dhote hue kaha- maianne to kaha tha, chalo, lekin dar ke mare nahian ate.

‘aur tha kahaan itane din?’

‘kahate the, dehatoan mean ghoomata raha.‘

‘to kya tum akele banbee se aye ho?’

‘ji nahian, ammaan bhi ayi haian.’

gokul ki mata ne kuchh sakuchakar poochha- mani to achchhi tarah hai?

iandranath ne hansakar kaha- ji haan, ab vah b de sukh se haian. sansar ke bandhanoan se chhoot gayian.

mata ne avishvas karake kaha- chal, natakhat kahian ka ! bechari ko kos raha hai, magar itani jaldi banbee se laut kyoan aye?

iandranath ne muskarate hue kaha- kya karata ! mataji ka tar banbee mean mila ki mani ne ga di se koodakar pran de diye. vah lalapur mean p di huee thi, dau da hua aya. vahian dah-kriya ki. aj ghar chala aya. ab mera aparadh kshama kijie.

vah aur kuchh n kah saka. aansuoan ke veg ne gala band kar diya. jeb se ek patr nikalakar mata ke samane rakhata hua bola- usake sandook mean yahi patr mila hai.

gokul ki mata kee minat tak marmahat-si baithi zamin ki or takati rahi ! shok aur usase adhik pashchatap ne sir ko daba rakha tha. phir patr uthakar padhane lagi-

‘svami’

jab yah patr apake hathoan mean pahuanchega, tab tak maian is sansar se vida ho jaooangi. maian b di abhagin hooan. mere liye sansar mean sthan nahian hai. apako bhi mere karan klesh aur nianda hi milegi. maine sochakar dekha aur yahi nishchay kiya ki mere liye marana hi achchha hai. mujh par apane jo daya ki thi, usake liye apako kya pratidan karooan? jivan mean maianne kabhi kisi vastu ki ichchha nahian ki, parantu mujhe du:kh hai ki apake charanoan par sir rakhakar n mar saki. meri aantim yachana hai ki mere liye ap shok n kijiega. eeshvar apako sada sukhi rakhe.‘

mataji ne patr rakh diya aur aankhoan se aansoo bahane lage. baramade mean vanshidhar nispand kh de the aur jaise mani lajjanat unake samane kh di thi.