पण्डित मोटेराम की डायरी- प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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pandit moteram ki dayari

kya nam ki kuchh samajh mean nahian ata ki deri aur deri pharm mean kya sambandh! deri to kahate haian us chhoti-si sadi sajild pothi ko, jis par roj-roj ka vrittant likha jata hai aur jo pray: sabhi mahanh purush likha karate haian aur deri pharm us sthan ko kahate haian jahaan gayean-bhaiansean pali jati haian aur unaka doodh, makkhan, ghi taiyar kiya jata hai. aisa maloom hota hai, deri pharm isalie nam p da ki jaise deri mean nity-prati ka samachar likha jata hai, us tarah nity-prati doodh-makkhan banata hai. jo kuchh ho, maianne ab deri likhane ka nishchay kar liya hai. kee sal pahale ek bar ek pustak vale ne mujhe ek deri bheant ki thi. tab maianne us par ek mahine tak apana hal likha; lekin mujhe usamean likhane ko kuchh soojhata hi n tha. rat ko sone se pahale ghantoan baitha sochata-kya likhooan. likhane layaq koee bat bhi ho? yah likhana ki prat:kal utha, muanh-hath dhoya, snan kiya, tilak-chandan lagaya, poojan kiya, yajamanoan se mila, kahian sait baanchane gaya; phir lautakar bhojan kiya aur soya. tisare pahar phir utha, bhang chhani, phir snan kiya, phir tilak lagaya aur katha baanchane chala gaya; lautakar phir bhojan kiya aur so raha. yah sab likhana mujhe achchha n lagata tha. isalie us deri par maianne dhobi ke kap doan aur amadani-kharch likhakar use poora kiya. jab se vah deri samapt huee, tab se kharch-amadani ka hisab likhana chho d diya aur dhobi ke kap doan ka hisab panditain ke jimme dal diya.

lekin ab se phir deri likhana arambh kar raha hooan, isaka kya karan hai? maianne suna hai ki isase ayu badhati hai, aur charoan padarth hath a jate haian. isalie ab maian phir bhagavanh ka nam lekar, aur ganeshaji ke samane shish jhukakar deri likhana arambh karata hooan. om shanti: shanti: shanti:. kya nam ki ajakal samyavad aur samashtivad ki b di charcha sun raha hooan. samyavad ka arth yah hai ki sabhi manushy barabar hoan. to maian apane samyavadi vidvanoan se jo is vishay ke achary haian, jaise-shri sampoornanand, achary narendradevaji aur achary shriprakashaji se poochhana chahata hooan ki sab manushy kaise barabar ho sakate haian? achary narendradevaji mujhe kshama karean ya n karean, magar unake jaise tin achary mere pet mean sama sakate haian, phir yah kaisa samyavad? isaka matalab to yahi ho sakata hai ki ya maian vaman roop dharan kar looanga vah virath roop dharan kar lean.

achchha, ab doosari bat lijie. dhan to ap sabaka barabar kar dena chahate haian; lekin kripa karake yah batalaie ki ap sabake pet kaise barabar kar deange? achary narendradevaji ek-do phulake aur adh ghooant doodh pikar rah sakate haian; magar mujhe to pooja karane ke bad, madhyahn, tisare pahar aur rat ko, char bar tar mal chakachak chahie, jisamean laddoo, halava, malaee, badam, kalakand adi ka pradhany ho. agar apaka samyavad isaki garanti kare ki vah mujhe ichchhapoorn bhojan dega to maian us par vichar kar sakata hooan aur agar ap chahate hoan ki maian bhi do phulake aur tole bhar doodh aur do tole bhaji khakar rahooan to aise samyavad ko mera door hi se pranam hai. maian dhan nahian maangata; lekin bhojan aantapha d chahata hooan, agar is tarah ki garanti di gayi, to vachan deta hooan ki maian aur mere anek mitr samyavadi banane ko taiyar ho jaeange.

lekin ek bhojan hi se to kam nahian chalata. kap da hi le lijie. apako ek kurata aur ek topi chahie. kurate mean ek gaj se adhik khaddar n lagega. maian lambi aangarakhi pahanata hooan, jisamean sat gaj se kam kap da nahian lagata. maianne daraji ke samane baithakar khud katavaya hai aur isaka vishvas dilata hooan ki isase kam mean meri aangarakhi nahian ban sakati. phir barah gaj ka safa, 5 gaj ki chadar oopar se. samyavad isaki garanti le sakata hai? dhan lekar mujhe kya karana hai, lekin bhojan aur vastr to chahie hi.

ap kaheange, kam sabake barabar karana p dega. maian svikar karata hooan, agar koee sajjan gh di bhar pooja karean, to maian do gh di kar dooanga; vah gh di bhar snan karean to maian do gh di pani mean rah sakata hooan, vah ek gh di shastrarth karean to maian bhojan-poojan adi ko chhodaqar din bhar shastrarth kar sakata hooan. isamean maian kisi se pichhe hatane vala nahian.

ek bat aur. sthan ki mujhe paravah nahian; jhop di bhi ho to maian apana nibah kar sakata hooan. lekin rel yatra karate samay agar mujhe sabake barabar jagah mili, to us patari par baithane valoan ko chhodaqar bhagana p dega; kyoanki maian ek poori patari se kam mean sama nahian sakata. doosari bat yah hai ki maian sannata marakar nahian so sakata. nidra mean ek vichitr prakar ka kharrata leta hooan. kabhi koee sajjan mere samip sote haian; to unhean rat ko uthakar bhagana p data hai. isalie apane hit ke lie nahian, doosaroan ke hit ke lie maian yah chahooanga ki mujhe ek poori kothari sone ko mile. agar samyavad isamean minamekh nikale to maian usaki or aankh uthakar bhi n dekhooanga.

itana likh chuka tha ki panditain akar kh di ho gayian aur poochhane lagian-aj sabere-sabere yah kya likhane baith gaye. sethaji ke l dake ki kundali kyoan nahian bana dalate? vyarth shastrarth karake apana mooan d kyoan dukhavate ho?

maian striyoan ka apaman nahian karata. unhean ghar ki devi samajhata hooan. ve ghar ki lakshmi haian; ghar-girasti ke siva unase kisi aur bat mean salah nahian leta! ghar ki lakshmi ko ghar tak hi rakhana chahata hooan. rajaniti, samaj, dharm adi ke vishay se unhean kya matalab. striyoan ko sir chadhane ki in muththi-bhar padhe-likhe babuoan ko jo sanak savar huee hai, maian ise pasand nahian karata. panditain bhi ek din adhi baanh ki jampar pahane hue nikalian jisase adhi chhati dikhaee de rahi thi, to maianne usi dam vah jampar utaravakar chho da. vah bahut big dian, lekin maianne bhi raudraroop dikhaya. akhirakar jab maian danda lene dau da; to unhoanne dhire se jampar utar diya aur muanh phula baithian. maianne kaha-chahe muanh phulao, chahe gal phulao, chahe sari deh phulakar kuppa ho jao, lekin is bhesh mean maian tumhean ghar se nikalane n dooanga. khair, jab unhoanne akar mujhe daant batayi; to maianne kah diya, ‘tum yah batean nahian samajh sakati, jakar apana kam dekho.’

panditain bolian-tumane char akshar padh liya to b de samajhadar ho gaye? abhi ek joon choolha n jalaooan to sari samajhadari nikal jae

kitana betuka javab tha. maro ghutana; phoote aankh! lekin mujhe ashchary nahian hua! unase maian aise javab sunane ka abhyast ho gaya hooan. maianne jara k daee ke sath kaha-tumhare matalab ki koee bat nahian hai devi, nahian to maian tumhean suna deta.

‘koee kavitaee karate hoange. yahi to tumhean rog hai.’

‘kavita karane ka rog mujhe kab tha? be-bat-ki bat karati ho. maian kavitaee se itani door hooan, jitana poorab pashchim se. yah vesh-bhoosha, yah diladaul kaviyoan ka hai? tum kya jano, kavi kise kahate haian? kavi vah hai, jisaki soorat se kavita barasati ho. bas, maian kavitaee nahian kar raha hooan, ek samajik prashn par kuchh shankaean upasthit karane ka saubhagy-sindoor prapt kar raha hooan.’

pandit ke pandityapoorn kathan se vah kuchh rob mean a gayian. lekin maian tho da sa budghoo bhi hooan. usi vakt mujhe hansi a gayi. bas, panditain laut p dian aur mere hath se lekh chhinakar bolian-maian samajh gayi, kisi ko premapatr likh rahe ho?

ab nahian to ab bani. maian gangajal lekar shapath kha sakata hooan ki maianne aj tak n jana prem kis chidiy़a ka nam hai. meri premika tar mal hai. doosara prem meri samajh mean hi nahian ata; lekin panditain ko n jane kyoan mujh par sandeh hota rahata hai. premiyoan ki dasha dekhakar to mujhe un par hansi ati hai. jab dekho, ro rahe haian. thandi saansean khianch rahe haian. n kuchh khate haian, n pite haian, khase lakalak bane hue haian, phooank do to u d jaean. is tarah ka prem karake to maian tisare din sansar se vida ho jaooan? lekin is sandeh ka nivaran karana ab lazim ho gaya.

maianne tho de se shabdoan mean panditain ko samyavad ka tatv samajhane ki cheshta ki. jab maian apana kathan samapt kar chuka, to vah aankhean matakakar bolian-ai nauj tumhara samavad! kuchh ghas to nahian kha gaye ho. jisake bal vansh n hoan, ve samavad ki bat sochean. mujhe to bhagavan ne paanch-paanch putr diye haian, aur chhathavaan ane vala hai. maian samavad ke pher mean kyoan p dooan? ‘mere barabar ho p dosan, goda-roti khay’ achchha samavad hai. mere lal jite ji raheange, to maang khaeange.

vah aur bhi n jane kya-kya anap-shanap bakati rahian; lekin unaki batoan se mere man mean ek shanka utpann ho gayi. samyavad mean kahian santan-nigrah ka bandhan to nahian hai? kyoanki is tarah ka koee sambandh hua to phir mera usase koee sampark n rahega. maian is vishay mean kisi se samajhauta n karooanga. pichhe se thukka-phajihat karana mujhe pasand nahian. achary mujhe spasht batala dean ki mujhe grihasthashram ka tyag to n karana p dega? maian isaki svadhinata chahata hooan ki jitani santanean avean unaka svagat karooan; kyoanki maian janata hooan, janm dene vale bhagavan haian aur palan karane vale bhi bhagavan haian. maian to nimitt-matr hooan.

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kya nam hai ki maian pandit moteram vald pandit chhoteram svargavasi, sakin vishvanathapuri jo shankar bhagavan ke tirasool par basi hai, aj bambee mean danadana raha hooan. ek yajaman sethaji ne tar bheja, ham b de sankat mean haian, turant ao. tar ke sath dabal tisare daraje ka kiraya bhi. isalie hamane chatapat bambee ko prasthan kar diya! apane yajaman par sankat p de, to ham kaise ruk sakate the. sethaji ek bar kashi aye the. vahaan maian bhi nimantran mean gaya tha. vahian meri unaki jan-pahachan huee. bat karane mean maian pakka phikait hooan. bas yahi samajh lo ki koee mujhe nimantran bhar de de, phir maian apani batoan se jnan gholata hooan vedoan-shastroan ki aisi vyakhya karata hooan ki kya majal jo yajaman ulloo n ho jae. yogasan, hastarekha, santanashastr, vashikaran adi sabhi vidyaean, jin par seth-mahajanoan ka pakka vishvas hai, meri jihva par haian. agar poochho ki kyoan pandit moteram shastri, apane in vidyaoan ko padha bhi hai? to maian danke ki chot par kahata hooan, maianne kabhi nahian padha. in vidyaoan ka kya rona, hamane kuchh nahian padha, poore lanth haian, nirakshar mahanh : lekin phir bhi kisi b de-se-b de pustakachatoo, shastraghoantoo, pandit ka samana kara do, chapet n dooan to moteram nahian. ji haan, chapet dooan, aisa chapetooan, aisa ragedooan ki panditaji ko bhagane ka rasta n mile! pathak kaheange; yah asambhav hai, bhala ek moorkh adami mahanh pandit kaise ragedega. maian kahata hooan priyavar, pustak chatane se koee vidvanh nahian ho jata. jo vidvanh aj is yug mean shraddh, pindadan aur varnashram mean vishvas rakhata ho, jo aj gobar aur gomootr ko pavitr samajhata ho, jo devapooja ko mukti ka sadhan samajhata hai, vah vidvanh kaise ho sakata hai? maian khud yajamanoan mean yah sab krity karata hooan, ni:sandeh janata hooan, halava aur kalakand kisi atma ke pet mean nahian, mere pet mean jata hai, phir bhi yajamanoan ko moo data hooan, to isalie ki meri yah jivika hai. jivika nahian chho di jati, aur isalie yajaman khud bevakooph banana chahata hai, paanch paise ka goodan karake bhavasagar par utarana chahata hai, to mujhe kya kutte ne kata hai jo kahooan ki yah sab mithya hai. sarasar ati huee lakshmi ko kaun dutkarata hai? lekin panditoan ke bich mean doosari bat ho jati hai. vahaan mujhe apani jivika ka dar nahian rahata aur maian bhigo-bhigokar lagata hooan, kabhi dahine, kabhi bayean, chauandhiya deta hooan, saans nahian lene deta. bas panditoan ke pas isake siva aur javab nahian rahata ki tum nastik ho.

magar maian apane vishay se bahakakar kahaan ja pahuancha. jab maian bambee chalane ko taiyar hua, to panditain rone lagian. kahane lagian, batao kai din mean aoge. do-tin din mean zaroor se laut ana. maian jo us vakt bata dooan ki do din pahuanchane mean lag jaeange, to phir vah mera pind n chho datian. isalie b de prem bhare shabdoan mean kaha-priye, mera ji tumhian mean laga rahega. khaooanga to tumhare karakamaloan ki gudagudi rotiyaan aur patali dal yad aegi. pani piooanga to tumhare papadiy़aye hue adharoan ka dhyan bana rahega. sote-jagate, uthate-baithate, bas tumhare hi pas man mandarata rahega. isase unhean kuchh dhadhas hua. lekin kya nam ki stri ka hriday kuchh atapata hota hai. ekaek bol uthian-mujhe tumhare oopar vishvas nahian ata. kaun jane tum vahaan kaise jao. kahian tum kuchh g dab d n kar baitho. maianne turant samajhaya-pranapriye, mujhe tumhare prem mean page lagabhag 45 sal hue. kya tum samajhati ho ki itane dinoan mean jo rang jama hai, vah do-char din mean phika p d jaega? kahaan tumhara khayal hai! boli-kya jane bhaee, tum maradoan ka hal kaun jane? yahaan to aisi mithi-mithi batean karate ho, vahaan jakar kya jane kya kar baitho. maian vahaan tho di baithi rahooangi ki tumhari dekhabhal karati rahooan. maian to ek sariyat par jane dooangi, ki tum gangajal hath se lekar kaho ki vahaan kuchh g dab d-s dab d n karooanga. maian man mean hansa aur gangajal lekar kasam khayi. tab jake panditain ka chitt shant hua.

chalane ko to chala; lekin hriday mera bhi kaanpata tha. prayag tak to mera man thikane raha; lekin jab phir bhi bambee ka kahian pata n chala, to mujhe rona a gaya. bhagavan! yah to kalapani hai. din bhar chala, bambee nadarad. rat-bhar chala, bambee nadarad. samajh gaya ki kashi mean marana n bada tha. maje se gangasnan karata tha, vishvanath ke darshanoan ka punn lootata tha aur dheli barah ane kahian-n-kahian se pit hi lata tha aur yahaan ga di mean baithe n jane kis lok ko chale ja rahe haian. itani door to chandrama bhi n hoange. mujhe bhram ho gaya ki yatri aur rel karmachari sab mujhe dhokha de rahe haian. bambee zaroor pichhe chhoot gayi. bare koee das baje bambee ka nam suna. jan ayi. dekha to yajaman sethaji mera svagat karane ke lie kh de the. unhoanne palagan kiya; magar asis kaun deta hai, yahaan to chola bhasam ho raha tha. maianne brahm tej se garajakar kaha-tumane mujhe likha kyoan nahian ki bambee lanka ke pas hai? abhi tak jal nahian grahan kiya. pran chhatapata ke nikalane ja raha tha; bare maianne yogabal se rok liya. maian jhooth bol raha tha. maian raste bhar phalahari khata raha aur rel se utarakar pani pita chala a raha tha; lekin aise yajamanoan ke samane apane nem ka danka baja dena phaladayak hota hai. sethaji ne daudaqar meri adhari kandhe par rakhi aur lage ghighiyane-maharaj, kshama kiya jay, maian kya janata tha ki maharaj ko bambee .......

maianne phir daanta-maharaj ko bambee se kya sambandh? apane log tirth sthanoan mean rahate haian ki rakshasoan ke desh mean? yahaan vah rahe, jo dhan ka lobhi ho. ham brahmanoan ko apana dharm pyara hai.

is daant se sethaji ki nani mar gayi. bahar aye to motar kh di thi. baithakar yajaman ke ghar chale. vah re bambee! vahaan to adami pagal ho jae. sadaqean n jane kyoan itani chau di banayi haian. hamari chaukhambhevali kitani gulazar gali hai ki vah! yahaan ki sadaqean haian ki balemiyaan ka maidan hai. magar bambee ka hal phir likheange. is vakt to sethaji ke sankat ki katha kahani hai, jisake lie ham itani door se bulaye gaye haian. sankat yah ki sethaji ne satta khela hai aur chahate haian; maian koee aisa anushthan karooan ki sethaji ke pau-barah ho jaean. mamala gahara hai, koee dedh lakh ka. maianne yah vrittant sunakar aisa gambhir muanh banaya, manoan sab kuchh mere hath mean hai. phir bola-sethaji, ap jo haian so mere yajaman haian aur mujhe jo kuchh vidya ati hai, usamean kuchh utha n rakhooanga. aur yah ap janate haian ki mujhe kisi bat se mamata nahian rahi. brahman ko dhan se kya prayojan? dhan chahata to ab tak lakhoan bator leta. kitane yajaman mere anushthanoan se karo dapati ho gaye, lakhapatiyoan ki to ginati hi nahian. maian vahi brahman ka brahman bana hooan. to bat kya hai? ham mamata ko pas nahian ane dete. sadhe sat sau kos se hi lalakarate haian, khabaradar jo idhar muanh kiya! haan, bat itani hai ki anushthanoan mean paise kharach hote haian. agar yahi anushthan vidhipoorvak karooan to dedh-do sau se kam n kharch hoange. yah samajh lijie.

lekin maian is 65 sal ki avastha mean bhi poanga hi raha. maianne dedh-do sau apani samajh mean bahut kahe the. isase ooanche jane ki mujhe himmat hi n p di. kabhi itana b da shikar to phansa nahian tha usake daanv-ghat kya samajhata? sethaji ka muanh latak gaya. unhoanne das-barah hazar ka anuman kiya tha. dedh-do sau sunakar meri sari pratishtha unake hriday se nikal bhagi. kya svarn sanyog diya tha bhagavanh vishvanath ne, lekin takadir khoti hai to unaka kya bas? das hazar kah deta to janm bhar ke lie ayachy ho jata. bolate-bolate bola kya? dedh-do sau! dhath tere poangapan ka satyanash ho! ab to yahi ji chahata hai ki jakar samudr mean kood p dooan. usi din ek doosare ghoanghanath shastri ke nam tar gaya. ab yah paththa akar in sethaji ko mooan dega. 20 hazar se kam n lega; lekin ab pachhatane se kya hota hai. phir bhi maianne socha, bala se maian nahian pa raha hooan. koee doosara kyoan le jave? mera kya? yah dharm nahian hai ki apane yajaman ki in luteroan se raksha karooan? bola maianne keval samagri ka mooly diya. dakshina maian leta nahian. ek hazar rupaye viproan ki dakshina bhi samajh lijie.

seth bole-usase koee matalab nahian, vah to yahaan se alag diya jaega. apaki samagri to kul 200) ki hogi?

maianne kaha-bas, isase adhik nahian. haan, aise logoan ko bhi janata hooan, jo isi anushthan ke lie 10 hazar, 15 hazar tak le leange. lagega to dhaee-tin sau, shesh apane pet mean thooans leange. isalie aise dhoortoan se sachet rahiega.

lekin seth ke kanth tale se yah bat n dhansi. bola-yah ap kya kahate ho shastriji? gu d jitana hi dalo utana hi mitha pakavan hoga. apaka anushthan 200) ka hai. ap kijie. lekin bina b de anushthan ke mera kam n chalega.

ab bhi mujhe apana ulloo phaansane ka mauqa tha. kah sakata tha, sethaji, apaka kam to chhote anushthan se hi nikal sakata hai, lekin apaki ichchha hai to maian maha-maha-maha mrityunjay-path aur brahm-pravikshak kriya bhi kar sakata hooan. haan, usamean koee sadhe terah hazar ka kharch hai; magar yah to ab soojh rahi hai. us vakt akl par patthar p d gaya tha. meri bhi vichitr khop di hai. jab soojhati hai, avasar nikal jane par. haan, maianne yah nishchay kar liya ki pandit ghoanghanath ko bina das-paanch ghisse diye n chho dooanga. ya to beta se adha rakha looanga, ya phir yahian bambee ke maidan mean hamari unaki thanegi. vah vidvanh hoange. yahaan sari javani akha de mean kati hai. bhurakus nikal dooanga.

apani is pichhil-soojhata par pachhata raha tha ki dakiya ek tikona sa bairang liphapha lakar mujhe de gaya. samajh gaya, panditain ki kripa hai. aj yah patr hath mean lekar mujhe sachamuch unaki yad a gayi. bechari ne mere sath 45 sal kat diye, aur maian barabar use batoan mean talata raha. aankhean sajal ho gayian. patr khola. likha tha. svasti shri sarv upama yog ... so tum jay ke bambee mean baithi rahyau, kan mean tel darikai. hamaka roj sapana dikhat hai. daran ke mare niand nahian avati hai. katoan tum kuchh g dabadi़ n kari baitho, yahi chinta mean hamar paran sookha jat hai. tum kahihau ham 65 sal ke hoe gayen, abaka janm bhar g dab de karat rahibe. mula sunit hai, baidan sab ais-ais birava nikaren haian ki ohika khayake manee bauray jat hai. ek baid jhaansi maan hai, ek aur katoan hai. tumar hath jorit hai, tum kauno aukhad n khayo. tum gangajal uthay ke jaun paran kihyau ohika nibah karai ka pari. ham tumaka saan d n banai deb.

lijie sahab, ab maian saan d ho gaya. kamar sidhi hoti nahian, dedh ser malaee bhi nahian pachaye pachati, aur vahaan panditain mujhe saan d bana rahi haian. so yahaan bhi apani hi bhool hai. maian panditain ke samane apani javaanmaradi aur purusharth ki diang mara karata hooan. vah goo kya jane, yah labadiy़a hai. maian jo kuchh kahata hooan, use brahmavaky samajh baithati haian aur usaka yah phal hai. is yatra se sanbhavat: meri drishti kuchh sookshm ho rahi hai.

3

kya nam ki jab maianne dekha ki ab to mujhase bhool ho hi gayi aur bahut khianchatan karane par bhi do se beshi n mileange, to maianne socha, lao aur kuchh n sahi to isake sau pachas rupaye bhojanoan mean hi biga d do. yah bhi kya samajhega ki kisi se pala p da tha. bas, maianne shankar bhagavanh ka sumiran kiya aur vinati ki-he umapati, ab tumhian meri raksha karo, maian to ab pranoan se hath dhokar bhojan par jutata hooan. nashta aya to maianne kah diya-mujhe apake maharaj ke hath ki bani chijoan mean koee svad nahian ata, mujhe to ap samagri de dijie, maian apana bhojan ap paka looanga. bhandari ne kaha-jaisi apaki ichchha, jo ajna ho vah hajir karooan. maianne nashte ka nusakha bataya-sava ser taja makkhan, adh ser badam, adh ser pishte, adh tole kesar, ser bhar sooji aur ser bhar shakkar. bhandari mera muanh takane laga. maianne kaha-muanh kya takate ho, kya baandhakar le jane ko maangata hooooan. jakar chatapat lao. bas maianne ghoti bhang aur chadhaya gola aur vishvanath ka nam lekar halava banane baith gaya. shankar ki daya se aisa svadisht padarth bana ki kya kahooan. palathi marake jo baitha, to adh ghante mean saph. makkhi ke lie bhi n bacha. bhandari ke hosh u d gaye. dopahar ko phir maianne pooriyaan pakayian. adhoadh moyan dekar. rat ko kuchh khane ki ichchha n hone par bhi maianne sava ser malaee chadha li.

lekin ab vah javani to hai nahian ki eeant-patthar jo pet mean pahuanch jae, vah sab bhasm. tisare hi din mujhe udar-vikar ke lakshan dikhe. maianne socha-yahaan kisi se kahata hooan, to sab yahi kaheange ki brahman ki jat, khane ke pichhe pran de raha hai. isalie muhalle hi mean ek daktar ke pas koee pachak-bati lene chala gaya. b da bhari makan, motar, phon. maianne apana parichay diya to daktar ne mujhe gaur se dekha aur bole-kashi se ata hai?

maianne kaha-haan sahab, vishvanathaji apako prasann rakhean, yahaan kuchh bhojan prakriti ke anukool n milane ke karan pachan dooshit ho gaya hai. koee aushadhi pradan kijie.

daktar mujhe ek alag kamare mean le gaya aur ek mej par letakar mera pet tatolane laga. phir sine ki pariksha ki; pith thoanki aankhean dekhian, jibh nikalavakar pariksha li. is tarah koee adh ghante tak meri dalel karane ke bad bola-vel panditaji, apako kuchh ti0bi0 ke asar maloom deta hai. apako usaka davaee karane hoga. ham ti0bi0 ka isapisalist hai. apako achchha kar sakata hai; par apako abhi ek doosara daktar ke pas apane khoon ka mulahaja karana hoga. bina khoon dekhe ham kuchh nahian kar sakata. ham apako chiththi deta hai. ap daktar soobedar ke pas jaean. vah chaupati mean rahata hai. ham chiththi deta hai. apake blad ka mulahaja karake hamako likhega.

mere hosh fakhata ho gaye. panditain ki yad ayi. bhagavanh, kya bambee mean meri mitti ki durdasha karoge. aya tha ki kuchh kamakar jaooanga; so yahaan jan par bita chahati hai. abhi kashi se chala hooan to koee bat n thi. khasa satha-patha bana hua tha ki bambee ka pani hai, aur kuchh nahian. dube vijayanand ne kaha tha, bambee ka pani kharab hai, jara sanbhalakar rahana. lekin yah kya janata tha ki das-paanch din mean hi sil dhare leta hai; lekin ab pachhataye kya hota hai. chalo, lahoo bhi dikha lo, aur phir dar kis bat ka hai. mar hi to jaeange. yahaan amar kaun hai. jara kachchi girasti hai; yahi chinta hai. agar janata ki ant itana nikat hai to pichhale do l dake kyoan hote aur tisara garbh mean kyoan rahata. lekin hari ki ichchha. tulasidasaji ne kaha bhi to hai-

sut banitadi jani svaratharat n karu neh sabahi te,

antahuan tohi tajeange pamar, too n taje abahi te.

maian yahaan se chala to dil bahut chhota ho gaya tha; lekin daktar sahab ne turant toka-hamara phis 32 rupaya hua. sethaji ke pas bil bhej dega n?

agar abhi tak yamaraj n aye the, to ab a gaye, 32 rupaya phis! jo umar mean kabhi nahian di! baid, daktar ko amir log paisa dete haian? ham shankar ke upasak to keval ashirvad se kam nikalate haian. kashi mean jab kabhi kam p data tha, daktar chaudhari, daktar banarji, d aau0 seth adi jisake pas chala gaya davaee le aya, oopar se rupaye-ath ane bidaee jhatak aya. aur yahaan jara-si pariksha ki to 32 rupaya phis. aankhoan tale aandhera chha gaya; lekin phir socha ab to mar hi rahe ho, rupaye-paise ke maya moh mean kya p de ho. 32 rupaya kharch hue to hue, maloom to ho gaya ki tapedik ho gaya hai. nahian yoan hi ek din chal dete, kisi ko pata n chalata. dava daroo karane ki naubat hi n ati. bhala, dava karane ka avasar mil gaya. aur adami kamata hi kisalie hai. lekin yah poochh lena avashyak maloom hua ki d aau0 soobedar ko to kuchh n dena p dega. atev maianne is vishay ka prashn kiya.

d aau0 sahab zor se hanse. bole-tum kashi ka vidvanh log b da majak karata hai. kashi ke ek pandit ko dakshana dene se sab pandit to nahian parasan ho jaega. bole?

hamane kaleja thamakar poochha-to unaki kya phis hogi?

‘usaka phis keval 10 rupaya hai.’

maianne man se kaha-chalo man yah 10 rupaya bhi gam khao. bambee mean jo kamana hai, vah sab dekar bhi pran bache to samajhana chahie, naya jivan paya. nahian yahian baithe-baithe tean ho jaeange, koee rone vala bhi n milega. us vakt aisa vairagy savar hua ki sab chho d-chhadaqar nikal bhagooan, kabir ka vah pad yad aya jise padhaqar maian kabhi-kabhi hansa karata tha. dhoortataee mean jivan kat gaya. ab is kaya ki kya duradasa hogi bhagavan-

divane man bhajan du:kh paiho.
pahila janam bhoot ka paiho, sat janam pachhataiho;
kira par ke pani paiho, pyasan hi mari jaiho.
dooja janam suva ka paiho, bag basera laiho;
toote pankh baj mandarane adhaph d pran ganvaiho.
bajigar ke banar hoihau, lakadiऩ nach nachaiho;
ooanch-nich ke hath pasarihau, maange bhikh n paiho.
telin ke ghar baila hoihau, aankhin dhaanp dhaipaiho;
kos pachas gharai maan chaliho, bahar hon n paiho.
paanchavaan janam ooant ka paiho, bin tole bo ladaiho;
baithe to uthan n paiho, ghurach-ghurach mari jaiho.
dhobi ghat ke gadaha hoihau, kati ghas n paiho,
ladi ladi apu chadh baithe laike ghat pahuanchaiho.

akhir yahi kahana p da ki haan sethaji ke pas bil bhej dena. phir vahaan ka pata poochhata hua daktar soobedar ke pas pahuancha. koee das baj gaye the, pet mean mitha-mitha dard hone laga tha; lekin socha is jhamele se nibat lo, phir vishvanathaji ki jaisi ichchha hogi, vah to hoga hi.

d aau0 soobedar yuvak-se lagate, kot-paint se lais. maianne patr jo diya, apane le jakar bhitar ke kamare mean leta diya aur aise zor se meri baanh mean suee chubho diya ki maian aianthakar rah gaya. baanh mean se rakt nikal p da. usane ek shishe se nalaki mean le liya aur meri baanh mean kuchh potakar ek tisari kothari mean jakar n jane kya karata raha. phir akar bola-vel panditaji, apake blad mean ti0bi0 ka jarm dikhaee deta hai. apako kisi paha d par jana hoga aur vahaan aram se rahana hoga. apako padhऩa-likhana band karana hoga, lekin abhi ham kuchh thik-thik nahian kah sakata, ap d aau0 gho depurakar ke pas jae, vah apaka yoorin dekhega. usaka riport lekar tab ham apana riport dega. tab ap daktar lampat ke pas jaega. phir vah kuchh kahega, vah apako karana hoga.

mere badan mean ag lag gayi. ji mean to aya, marooan goli in d aauktaroan ko aur chalakar do paise ki har d mangavakar usaki phanki phaank looan. marana hi bada hai, to sari duniya ke daktar bhi to nahian zila sakate; lekin jan ka lobh b da balavan hota hai. unaki chiththi lekar pata poochhata hua chala daktar gho depurakar ke pas. isane mujhase ek choange mean laghushanka karavayi aur b di der tak n jane kya karata raha. phir mujhe riport likhakar di aur kaha-d aau0 soobedar ke pas jaie. soobedar ke pas phir pahuancha, to tin baj gaye the. apane apani riport di, to aya d aau0 lampat ke pas. daktar lampat ne donoan riportoan ko b de dhyan se dekha aur bole-mera anuman thik tha panditaji, apako ti0bi0 ho gaya hai.

maianne sajal-netr hokar poochha-to maian mar jaooanga?

‘nahian-nahian, ham apako marane nahian dega. apako paha d par rahana hoga. achchha bhojan karane se ap bach sakata hai. apako andoan ka sevan karana hoga.’

maianne kanoan par hath rakhakar kaha-kya kaha, andoan ka? maian ande hath se nahian chhoo sakata, khane ki kaun kahe!

‘oh! yah sab arathodaksi yahaan nahian chalega. tumako ande khana hoga.’

‘ande maian kisi tarah nahian kha sakata.’

‘tum mar jaega.’

‘koee chinta nahian.

‘ham davaee deta hai, ise to pi sakata hai.’

‘na! ab n koee dava khaooanga; n kisi daktar ke pas jaooanga.’

yah kahakar maian sethaji ki kothi par laut aya. din-bhar jo kuchh bhojan n kiya tha, to bhookh chamachama uthi thi. booti chhani, shauch gaya aur phir khoob datakar bhojan kiya.

sahasa sethaji ghab daye hue aye aur bole-panditaji, kya apaka mulahaja kiya tha lampat sahab ne! apako to ti0bi0 batate haian.

maianne kaha-vah apake ghar ane ka purasakar hai, aur kya?

‘ap aj hi kashi chale jaie.’

‘maian bina anushthan poora kiye nahian ja sakata.’

‘nahian, nahian, koee darakar nahian, ap isi nau baje ki ga di se chale jaean.’

maianne usaki ghabarahat dekhi to samajh gaya, vah brahmahatya se dar raha hai. bas, phir kya tha. meri lah gayi.

maianne kaha-bina anushthan poora kiye laut jane mean pranoan ka bhay hai. isaka upachar karane mean kam-se-kam ek hazar ka kharach hai. maian vah kahaan se laooanga. phir marane se kya darana! yahian mar jaooanga to kya chinta.

sethaji kaanpate hue bole-nahian panditaji, apaka jo kuchh kharch p de, vah lijie aur aj hi chal dijie.

bas munimaji bulae gaye aur phir sau-sau ke das not mere charanoan par rakh diye. maianne vishvanathaji ko dhanyavad diya, not gaanth mean kiye aur ti0bi0 ko aisa bhoola ki vah bhi mujhe bhool gaya.

4

kya nam ki maian jahaan jata hooan, vahian kuchh-n-kuchh log mere pichhe p d jate haian, aur a-akar mujhe dik karate haian. bambee mean bhi bhale adamiyoan se gala n chhoota. yah to hota nahian ki akar ek mohar mere charanoan par rakhean aur tab apani katha sunayean. bas akar lagate haian apani katha sunane aur chahate haian ki maian seant-meant mean unhean anushthan bata dooan. to yahaan aise ulloo nahian haian. sunane ko sun lete haian, lekin anushthan batane ke lie pachasoan bar dau date haian, aisa padate haian ki vah bhag kh da hota hai. jab koee daktar seant-meant mean kisi rogi ko nahian dekhata, koee vakil seant mean koee misil nahian chhoota to maian kyoan seant mean apani vidya lutata phirooan? vah vidya kya hai, yah maian janata hooan, usi tarah jaise vakil aur daktar apani vidya ko janate haian; lekin bhaee, ek-doosare ka parda kyoan kholo. sansar usaka hai, jo use bevakooph banaye, jise yah kala nahian ati, vah kau di ka tin hai.

kal bhang-booti se nipatakar malaee par hath saf kar raha tha ki ek sajjan akar baith gaye. kot, paint, kalar, boot, hait, khase sahab bahadur the. chehara lataka hua, mano patni mar gayi ho, bole-apaka nam pandit moteram shastri hai?

maianne kaha-haan, mera hi nam hai. kahie, apaki kya seva karooan!

sahab bahadur ne jeb se roomal nikala aur sir ka pasina poanchhate hue kaha-maian b de sankat mean p d gaya hooan mahashay! kuchh akl kam nahian karati. ab ap hi be da par lagaie to lage.

mere hriday mean gudagudi huee. yah to koee shikar maloom hota hai.

bola-bhagavan ki daya se sari badhaean door ho jaeangi, kuchh chinta mat kijie.

‘kya kahooan mahoday, kahate sankoch ho raha hai.’

‘sankoch ki koee bat nahian, santan to meri muththi mean hai. kahie to balakoan se apaka ghar bhar dooan. bas ek anushthan .....’

‘ji nahian, balakoan se to mujhe prem nahian. maian santan virodhi hooan.’

‘achchha to kya dhan ki ichchha hai?’

‘dhan ki ichchha kise n hogi; lekin is vakt maian is hetu se apaki seva mean nahian aya tha.’

‘to kaho n? paushtik anushthanoan ki bhi mere pas kami nahian. choorn, avaleh, goli, bhasm, asav, kvath, kisi chiz ke sevan karane ki avashyakata nahian, bas paanch bar us mantr ki jap karake so jaie, phir usaki karamat dekhie.’

‘maian is samay ek doosare hi kam se seva mean aya tha.’

mujhe kuchh nirasha hone lagi. hatthe par chadhऩe vala nahian jan p data. phir bhi maianne dilasa diya-jo ichchha ho vah nissankoch kaho.

usane poochha-ap usamean apana apaman to n samajheange?

ab mere kan kh de hue, utsukata aur badhi.

‘apaman ki bat hogi, to avashy apaman samajhooanga.’

‘bat yah hai ki kal sandhya samay mere mata-pita desh se a gaye haian.’

‘bahut achchhi bat hai tumhean unaka adar-satkar karana chahie.’

‘lekin karooan kaise yah samajh mean nahian ata. kal se unhoanne bhojan nahian kiya!’

‘bhojan nahian kiya! yah to b da anarth hai. kuchh udar vikar ho gaya hai. maian ayurved bhi janata hooan.’

‘nahian-nahian shastriji, vah to apase bhi bhari diladaul ke haian.’

‘bhari diladaul ke log kya bimar nahian p date?’

‘p date hoange; par phadar kabhi bimar nahian p date aur madar ke sir mean to kabhi dard bhi nahian hua.’

‘to vah aur ap donoan bhagyavanh haian.’

‘samasya yah hai ki ve donoan hi b de nem se rahate haian.’

‘b de harsh ki bat hai. ap vastav mean bhagyashali haian.’

‘lekin vah mere khanasama ke hath ka bhojan to nahian kar sakate!’

‘to ek-do din tumhari stri hi bhojan paka legi to kya chhoti ho jaegi? sas-sasur ki seva karana hi stri ka param dharm hai.’

‘maian ise nahian svikar karata, mahoday. bura n maniega. ap sau baras ki purani bat kah rahe haian. sas-sasur ko aisi jara-jara ki batoan ke lie putr aur putravadhoo ko sankat mean n dalana chahie. samay bahut age badh gaya hai. ab aise mata-pita ke lie sthan nahian raha.’

‘yah ap bahut thik kah rahe haian; lekin jab mata-pita do-hi char din ke lie aye haian, to stri ko tho da-sa kasht bhi to sah lena chahie.’ is par sajjan ne kuchh bhauanve sikodaqar kaha-lekin bhojan pakane ka unhean abhyas nahian hai, shriman! jab kabhi khanasama baith rahata hai, to ham log hotal mean kha lete haian. ek bar ghar mean rupaye n the, aur hotal mean nagad dam dena p data hai; isalie stri ne socha, kuchh paka lean, to sahab, ata aisa ho gaya jaise gadha doodh aur chaval jalakar koyala ho gaya. us par tin din shrimatiji ke sir mean dard hota raha. harakar hamean phaanka karana p da. to sahab, phir vah vipatti nahian mol lena chahata. n jane kyoan hotal mean khana khate in logoan ki nani marati hai. maian ise unaki kori zid samajhata hooan. maan-bap haian, kya kahooan. kya ap itani kripa n kareange ki ek-do din jab tak vah log yahaan rahean, unaka bhojan paka dean. apako kasht to hoga, lekin ap brahman haian aur brahman ko paropakar ke lie apane kasht ki paravah nahian hoti.

mera khoon khaul utha. ji mean aya, utha ke patak dooan, lekin maianne sabr kiya. kya qadar ki hai apane brahman ki! aur maza yah hai ki is moorkh ko mujhase aisi bat kahate sankoch bhi n hua. mujhe chup dekhakar usane kaha-kya bura man gaye?

maianne kaha-nahian, bura kya manooanga, lekin apane is kam ke lie kisi pani-paan de ko pak da hota, mujhe ap shayad nahian janate?

usane kaha-maian apako khoob janata hooan, ap kashi ke shastri haian. jab maian hostal mean tha, to ek kashi ke shastri mere sahapathi the. vah barabar apana bhojan ap pakaya karate the, aur jab kabhi hamare mes ka rasoiyadar bimar p d jata ya bhag jata to vah mera bhojan paka dete the aur agrah karake khilate the. isilie maianne apase yah prarthana ki.

mere pas isaka kya javab tha. purakhoan ne jo kuchh kiya hai, usaka tavan to dena hi p dega.

maianne kaha-apaki ichchha hai to maian chalakar bhojan bana dooanga. lekin ek shart hai, agar ap use svikar karean.

‘kahie, kahie, ap jo kuchh kaheange vah mujhe svikar hai. apane aj meri laj rakh li.’

‘maian rasoee mean baithakar batata jaooanga, kam shrimatiji ko karana p dega.’

‘lekin unake sir mean dard hua tab?’

‘usaki mere pas dava hai. sir mean chakkar a jae, aankhoan ke samane aandhera chha jae, maian bat-ki-bat mean achchha kar sakata hooan.’

‘aur jo unhean garmi lage?’

‘ap kh de pankha jhalate rahiega.’

‘aur unhoanne krodh mean akar apako kuchh kah diya?’

‘to mujhe bhi krodh a jaega aur krodh mean maian lat sahab ko bhi kuchh nahian samajhata. haan, itana kah sakata hooan ki isake bad unhean phir krodh n aega.’

‘aur jo unhoanne bahas shuroo kar di? unaki daliloan ka ap javab de sakate haian?’

‘vah! aur maianne umr bhar kiya kya hai? pahale to dalil ka javab dalil se deta hooan. jab isase kam nahian chalata to hath-paanv se bhi kam leta hooan. kitane hi shastrarthoan mean sammilit hua hooan aur kabhi parast hokar nahian aya. b de-b de mahamahopadhyayoan ko gu d-haldi pilakar chho d diya.

sajjan ne ek kshan tak vichar kiya aur phir ane ka vada karake chale gaye. tab se ab tak soorat nahian dikhaee.

sanbandhit lekh

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