विद्रोही -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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aj das sal se jabt kar raha hooan. apane is nanhe-se hriday mean agni ka dahakata hua kund chhipaye baitha hooan. sansar mean kahian shanti hogi, kahian sair-tamashe hoange, kahian manoranjan ki vastuean hoangi; mere lie to ab yahi agnirashi hai aur kuchh nahian. jivan ki sari abhilashaean isi mean jalakar rakh ho gayian. kisase apani manovyatha kahooan ? fayada hi kya ? jisake bhagy mean rudan, anant rudan ho, usaka mar jana hi achchha. maianne pahali bar tara ko us vakt dekha, jab meri umr das sal ki thi. mere pita agare ke ek achchhe daktar the. lakhanoo mean mere ek chacha rahate the. unhoanne vakalat mean kafi dhan kamaya tha. maian un dinoan chacha hi ke sath rahata tha. chacha ke koee santan n thi; isalie maian hi unaka varis tha. chacha aur chachi donoan mujhe apana putr samajhate the. meri mata bachapan hi mean sidhar chuki thian. matri-sneh ka jo kuchh prasad mujhe mila, vah chachiji hi ki bhiksha thi. vahi bhiksha mere us matri-prem se vanchit balapan ki sari vibhooti thi.   chacha sahab ke p dos mean hamari biradari ke ek baboo sahab aur rahate the. vah relave-vibhag mean kisi achchhe ohade par the. do-dhaee sau rupaye pate the. nam tha vimalachandr. tara unhian ki putri thi. us vakt usaki umr paanch sal ki hogi. bachapan ka vah din aj bhi aankhoan ke samane hai, jab tara ek phr aauk pahane, baloan mean ek gulab ka phool gooanthe hue mere samane akar kh di ho gayi. kah nahian sakata, kyoan maian use dekhakar jheanp-sa gaya. mujhe vah dev-kanya si maloom huee, jo usha-kal ke saurabh aur prakash se ranjit akash se utar ayi ho.   us din se tara aksar mere ghar ati. usake ghar mean khelane ki jagah n thi. chacha sahab ke ghar ke samane lamba-chau da maidan tha. vahian vah khela karati. dhire-dhire maian bhi usase manoos ho gaya. maian jab skool se lautata to tara dau dakar mere hathoan se kitaboan ka basta le leti. jab maian skool jane ke lie ga di par baithata, to vah bhi akar mere sath baith jati. ek din usake samane chachi ne chachaji se kaha, ‘tara ko maian apani bahoo banaooangi. kyoan krishnaa, too tara se byah karega ?’ maian mare sharm ke bahar bhag gaya; lekin tara vahian kh di rahi, mano chachi ne use mithaee dene ko bulaya ho.   us din se chacha aur chachi mean aksar yahi charcha hoti ... kabhi salah ke dhang se, kabhi majak ke dhang se. us avasar par maian to sharmakar bahar bhag jata tha; par tara khush hoti thi. donoan parivaroan mean itana gharav tha ki is sambandh ka ho jana koee asadharan bat n thi. tara ke mata-pita ko to isaka poora vishvas tha ki tara se mera vivah hoga. maian jab unake ghar jata, to meri b di avabhagat hoti. tara ki maan use mere sath chho dakar kisi bahane se tal jati thian. kisi ko ab isamean shak n tha ki tara hi meri hridayeshvari hogi.   ek din us sarala ne mitti ka ek gharauanda banaya. mere makan ke samane nim ka pe d tha. usi ki chh aauh mean vah gharauanda taiyar hua. usamean kee jara-jara se kamare the, kee mitti ke baratan, ek nanhi-si charapaee thi. maianne jakar dekha, to tara gharauanda banane mean tanmay ho rahi thi. mujhe dekhate hi dau dakar mere pas ayi aur boli, ‘qrishna, chalo hamara ghar dekho, maianne abhi banaya hai. gharauanda dekha, to hansakar bola, ‘isamean kaun rahega, tara ?’ tara ne aisa muanh banaya, mano yah vyarth ka prashn tha ! boli, ‘kyoan,  ham aur tum kahaan raheange ? jab hamara-tumhara vivah ho jayaga, to ham log isi ghar mean akar raheange. vah dekho, tumhari baithak hai, tum yahian baithakar padhoge. doosara kamara mera hai, isamean baithakar maian gu diya khelooangi.‘ maianne hansi karake kaha, ‘kyoan, kya maian sari umr padhata hi rahooanga aur tum hamesha gu diya hi khelati rahogi ?’ tara ne meri taraph is dhang se dekha, jaise meri bat nahian samajhi. pagali janati thi ki zindagi khelane aur hansane hi ke lie hai. yah n janati thi ki ek din hava ka ek jhoanka ayega aur is gharauande ko u da le jayega aur isi ke sath ham donoan bhi kahian-se-kahian ja u deange.   isake bad maian pitaji ke pas chala aya aur kee sal padhata raha. lakhanoo ki jalavayu mere anukool n thi, ya pitaji ne mujhe apane pas rakhane ke lie yah bahana kiya tha, maian nishchay nahian kah sakata. intaramidiet tak maian agare hi mean padha, lekin chacha sahab ke darshanoan ke lie barabar jata rahata tha. har ek tatil mean lakhanoo avashy jata aur garmiyoan ki chhutti to poori lakhanoo hi mean katati thi. ek chhutti gujarate hi doosari chhutti ane ke din gine jane lagate the. agar mujhe ek din ki bhi der ho jati, to tara ka patr a pahuanchata. bachapan ke us saral prem mean ab javani ka utsah aur unmad tha. ve pyare din kya bhool sakate haian ! vahi madhur smritiyaan ab is jivan ka sarvasv haian. ham donoan rat ko sab ki najarean bachakar milate aur havaee kile banate. isase koee yah n samajhe ki hamare man mean pap tha, kadapi nahian. hamare bich mean ek bhi aisa shabd, ek bhi aisa sanket n ane pata, jo ham doosaroan ke samane n kar sakate, jo uchit sima ke bahar hote.  yah keval vah sankoch tha, jo is avastha mean hua karata hai. shadi ho jane ke bad bhi to kuchh dinoan tak stri aur purush b doan ke samane batean karate lajate haian. haan, jo aangreji sabhyata ke upasak haian, unaki bat maian nahian chalata. ve to b doan ke samane aliangan aur chumban tak karate haian. hamari mulakatean dostoan ki mulakatean hoti thian qabhi tash ki bazi hoti, kabhi sahity ki charcha, kabhi svadesh seva ke manasoobe bandhate, kabhi sansar yatra ke.   kya kahooan, tara ka hriday kitana pavitr tha ! ab mujhe jnat hua ki stri kaise purush par niyantran kar sakati hai, kutsit ko kaise pavitr bana sakati hai. ek-doosare se batean karane mean, ek-doosare ke samane baithe rahane mean hamean asim anand hota tha. phir, prem ki batoan ki zaroor vahaan hoti haian, jahaan apane akhand anurag, apani atul nishtha, apane poorn atm-samarpan ka vishvas dilana hota hai. hamara sanbandh to sthir ho chuka tha. keval rasmean baki thian. vah mujhe apana pati samajhati thi, maian use apani patni samajhata tha. thakuraji ka bhog lagane ke pahale thal ke padarthoan mean kaun hath laga sakata hai ? ham donoan mean kabhi-kabhi l daee bhi hoti thi aur kee-kee dinoan tak batachit ki naubat n ati; lekin jyadati koee kare, manana usi ko p data tha. maian jara-si bat par tinak jata tha. vah hansamukh thi, bahut hi sahanashil, lekin usake sath hi manini bhi parale sire ki. mujhe khilakar bhi khud n khati, mujhe hansakar bhi khud n hansati.   iantaramidiet pas hote hi mujhe fauj mean ek jagah mil gayi. us vibhag ke aphasaroan mean pitaji ka b da man tha. maian sarjent ho gaya aur saubhagy se lakhanoo hi mean meri niyukti huee. muanhamaangi murad poori huee. magar vidhi-vam kuchh aur hi shadayantr rach raha tha. maian to is khayal mean magan tha ki kuchh dinoan mean tara meri hogi. udhar ek doosara hi gul khil gaya. shahar ke ek nami rees ne chachaji se mere vivah ki bat chhe d di aur ath hazar rupaye dahej ka vachan diya. chachaji ke muanh se lar tapak p di. socha, yah ashatit rakam milati hai, ise kyoan chhonooan. vimal baboo ki kanya ka vivah kahian-n-kahian ho hi jayaga. unhean sochakar javab dene ka vada karake vida kiya aur vimal baboo ko bulakar bole, ‘aj chaudhari sahab krishnaa ki shadi ki batachit karane aye the. ap to unhean janate hoange ? achchhe rees haian. ath hazar rupaye de rahe haian. maianne kah diya hai, sochakar javab dooanga. apaki kya ray hai ? yah shadi manjoor kar looan ? vimal baboo ne chakit hokar kaha, yah ap kya pharamate haian ? krishnaa ki shadi to tara se thik ho chuki hai n ?’   chacha sahab ne anajan banakar kaha, ‘yah to mujhe aj maloom ho raha hai. kisane thik ki hai yah shadi ? apase to mujhase is vishay mean koee bhi batachit nahian huee.‘ vimal baboo jara garm hokar bole, ‘zo bat aj das-barah sal se sunata hooan, kya usaki tasadik bhi karani chahie thi ? maian to ise tay samajhe baitha hooan. maian hi kya, sara muhalla tay samajh raha hai.‘ chacha sahab ne badanami ke bhay se jara dabakar kaha, ‘bhaee sahab, hak to yah hai ki maian jab kabhi is sambandh ki charcha karata tha, dillagi ke taur par lekin khair, maian apako nirash nahian karana chahata. ap mere purane mitr haian. maian apake sath sab tarah ki riayat karane ko taiyar hooan. mujhe ath hazar mil rahe haian. ap mujhe sat hi hazar dijie chh: hazar hi dijie.‘ vimal baboo ne udasin bhav se kaha, ‘ap mujhase majak kar rahe haian ya sachamuch dahej maang rahe haian, mujhe yakin nahian ata.‘ chacha sahab ne matha siko dakar kaha, isamean majak ki to koee bat nahian. maian apake samane chaudhari se batean kar sakata hooan.‘ ‘vimal baboo apane to yah naya prashn chhe d diya. mujhe to svapn mean bhi guman n tha ki hamare aur apake bich mean yah prashn kh da hoga. eeshvar ne apako bahut kuchh diya hai. das-paanch hazar mean apaka kuchh n banega.‘ ‘haan, yah rakam meri samarthy se bahar hai. maian to apase daya hi ki bhiksha maang sakata hooan. aj das-barah sal se ham krishnaa ko apana damad samajhate a rahe haian. apaki batoan se bhi kee bar isaki tasadik ho chuki hai. krishnaa aur tara mean jo prem hai, vah apase chhipa nahian hai. eeshvar ke lie tho de-se rupayoan ke vaste kee janoan ka khoon n kijie.‘ chacha sahab ne dhrishtata se kaha, ‘vimal baboo, mujhe khed hai ki maian is vishay mean aur nahian dab sakata.‘ vimal baboo jara tej hokar bole, ‘ap mera gala ghoant rahe haian !’ chacha –‘apako mera ehasan manana chahie ki kitani riayat kar raha hooan.‘ vimal—‘kyoan n ho, ap mera gala ghoantean aur maian apaka ehasan manooan ? maian itana udar nahian hooan. agar mujhe maloom hota ki ap itane lobhi haian, to apase door hi rahata. maian apako sajjan samajhata tha. ab maloom hua ki ap bhi kau diyoan ke gulam haian. jisaki nigah mean murauvat nahian, jisaki batoan ka koee vishvas nahian, use maian sharif nahian kah sakata. apako akhtiyar hai, krishnaa baboo ki shadi jahaan chahean karean; lekin apako hath n malana p de, to kahiega. tara ka vivah to kahian-n-kahian ho hi jayaga aur eeshvar ne chaha to kisi achchhe hi ghar mean hoga. sansar mean sajjanoan ka abhav nahian hai; magar apake hath apayash ke siva aur kuchh n lagega.‘ chacha sahab ne tyauriyaan chadhakar kaha, ‘agar ap mere ghar mean n hote, to is apaman ka kuchh javab deta !’ vimal baboo ne chh di utha li aur kamare se bahar jate hue kaha, ‘ap mujhe kya javab deange ? ap javab dene ke yogy hi nahian haian.‘   usi din sham ko jab maian bairak se aya aur jalapan karake vimal baboo ke ghar jane laga, to chachi ne kaha, ‘qahaan jate ho ? vimal baboo se aur tumhare chachaji se aj ek jh dap ho gayi.‘ maianne thithakakar tajjub ke sath kaha, ‘jh dap ho gayi ! kis bat par ?’ chachi ne sara-ka-sara vrittant kah sunaya aur vimal ko jitane kale rangoan mean rang sakian, ranga – ‘tumase kya kahooan beta, aisa muanhaphat to adami hi nahian dekha. hajaroan hi galiyaan dian, l dane par amada ho gaya. maianne ek minat tak sannate mean kh de rahakar kaha, ‘achchhi bat hai, vahaan  n jaooanga. bairak ja raha hooan. chachi bahut royian-chillayian; par maian ek kshan-bhar bhi n thahara. aisa jan p data tha, jaise koee mere hriday mean bhale bhoank raha hai. ghar se bairak tak paidal jane mean shayad mujhe das minat se zyada n lage hoange. bar-bar ji jhuanjhalata tha; chacha sahab par nahian, vimal baboo par bhi nahian, keval apane oopar. kyoan mujhamean itani himmat nahian hai ki jakar chacha sahab se kah dooan qoee mujhe lakh rupaye bhi de, to shadi n karooanga. maian kyoan itana irapok, itana tejahin, itana dabboo ho gaya ? isi krodh mean maianne pitaji ko ek patr likha aur vah sara vrittaant sunane ke bad ant mean likha maianne nishchay kar liya hai ki aur kahian shadi n karooanga, chahe mujhe apaki avajna hi kyoan n karani p de. us avesh mean n jane kya-kya likh gaya, ab yad bhi nahian. itana hi yad hai ki das-barah panne das minat mean likh dale the. sambhav hota to maian yahi sari batean tar se bhejata.   tin din maianne b di vyagrata ke sath kate. usaka keval anuman kiya ja sakata hai. sochata, tara hamean apane man mean kitana nich samajh rahi hogi. kee bar ji mean aya ki chalakar usake pairoan par gir panooan aur kahooan – ‘ devi, mera aparadh kshama karo chacha sahab ke kathor vyavahar ki paravah n karo maian tumhara tha aur tumhara hooan. chacha sahab mujhase big d jayan, pitaji ghar se nikal dean, mujhe kisi ki parava nahian hai; lekin tumhean khokar mera jivan hi kho jayaga.‘ tisare din patr ka javab aya. rahi-sahi asha bhi toot gayi. vahi javab tha jisaki mujhe shanka thi. likha tha --‘bhaee sahab mere poojy haian. unhoanne jo nishchay kiya hai, usake viruddh maian ek shabd bhi muanh se nahian nikal sakata aur tumhare lie bhi yahi uchit hai ki unhean naraz n karo.‘ maianne us patr ko pha dakar pairoan se kuchal diya aur usi vakt vimal baboo ke ghar ki taraph chala. ah ! us vakt agar koee mera rasta rok leta, mujhe dhamakata ki udhar mat jao, to maian vimal baboo ke pas jakar hi dam leta aur aj mera jivan kuchh aur hi hota; par vahaan mana karane vala kaun baitha tha. kuchh door chalakar himmat har baitha. laut p da. kah nahian sakata, kya sochakar lauta. chacha sahab ki aprasannata ka mujhe ratti-bhar bhi bhay n tha. unaki ab mere dil mean jara bhi ijjat n thi. maian unaki sari sampatti ko thukara dene ko taiyar tha. pitaji ke naraz ho jane ka bhi dar n tha. sankoch keval yah tha qaun muanh lekar jaooan ! akhir maian unhian chacha ka bhatija to hooan. vimal baboo mujhase mukhatib n hue ya jate-hi-jate dutkar diya, to mere lie doob marane ke siva aur kya rah jayaga ? sabase b di shanka yah thi ki kahian tara hi mera tiraskar kar baithe to meri kya gati hogi. hay ! aanday tara ! nishthur tara ! abodha tara ! agar toone us vakt do shabd likhakar mujhe tasalli de di hoti, to aj mera jivan kitana sukhamay hota. tere maun ne mujhe matiyamet kar diya sada ke lie ! ah, sada ke lie.   tin din phir maianne aangaroan par lot-lotakar kate. than liya tha ki ab kisi se n milooanga. sara sansar mujhe apana shatru-sa dikhata tha. tara par bhi krodh ata tha. chacha sahab ki to soorat se mujhe ghrina ho gayi thi; magar tisare din sham ko chachaji ka rukka pahuancha, mujhase akar mil jao. ji mean to aya, likh dooan, mera apase koee sambandh nahian, ap samajh lijie, maian mar gaya. magar phir unake sneh aur upakaroan ki yad a gayi. khari-khari sunane ka bhi achchha avasar mil raha tha. hriday mean yuddh ka nasha aur josh bhare hue maian chachaji ki seva mean pahuanch gaya. chachaji ne mujhe sir se pair tak dekhakar kaha, kya ajakal tumhari tabiyat achchhi nahian hai ? aj rayasahab sitaram tashariph laye the. tumase kuchh batean karana chahate haian. kal sabere mauqa mile, to chale ana ya tumhean lautane ki jaldi n ho, to maian isi vakt bula bhejooan. maian samajh to gaya ki yah rayasahab kaun haian; lekin anajan banakar bola, ‘ yah rayasahab kaun haian ? mera to unase parichay nahian hai.‘ chachaji ne laparavahi se kaha, ‘aji, yah vahi mahashay haian, jo tumhare byah ke lie ghere hue haian. shahar ke rees aur kulin adami haian. l daki bhi bahut achchhi hai. kam-se-kam tara se kee guni achchhi. maianne haan kar liya hai. tumhean bhi jo batean poochhani hoan, unase poochh lo. ‘ maianne avesh ke um date hue toofan ko rokakar kaha, ‘apane nahak haanki. maian apana vivah nahian karana chahata.‘ chachaji ne meri taraph aankhean pha dakar kaha, ‘kyoan ?’ maianne usi nirbhikata se javab diya –‘isilie ki maian is vishay mean svadhin rahana chahata hooan.‘ chacha sahab ne jara narm hokar kaha, ‘maian apani bat de chuka hooan, kya tumhean isaka kuchh khayal nahian hai ?’ maianne uddandata se javab diya. ‘jo bat paisoan par bikati hai, usake lie  maian apani zindagi nahian kharab kar sakata.‘ chacha sahab ne gambhir bhav se kaha, ‘yah tumhara akhiri phaisala hai ?’ 'ji haan, akhiri.' 'pachhatana p dega.' 'ap isaki chinta n karean. apako kasht dene n aooanga.' 'achchhi bat hai.' yah kahakar vah uthe aur andar chale gaye. maian kamare se nikala aur bairak ki taraph chala. sari prithvi chakkar kha rahi thi, asaman nach raha tha aur meri deh hava mean u di jati thi. maloom hota tha, pairoan ke niche ki jamin hai hi nahian. bairak mean pahuanchakar maian palang par let gaya aur phoot-phootakar rone laga. maan-bap, chacha-chachi, dhan-daulat, sabakuchh hote hue bhi maian anath tha. uph ! kitana nirday aghat tha !   sabere hamare rejimeant ko deharadoon jane ka hukm hua. mujhe aankhean-si mil gayian. ab lakhanoo kate khata tha. usake gali-koochoan tak se ghrina ho gayi thi. ek bar ji mean aya, chalakar tara se mil looan; magar phir vahi shanka huee qahian vah mukhatib n huee to ? vimal baboo is dasha mean bhi mujhase utana hi sneh dikhayeange, jitana ab tak dikhate aye haian, isaka maian nishchay n kar saka. pahale maian ek dhani parivar ka dipak tha, ab ek anath yuvak, jise majoori ke siva aur koee avalamb nahian tha. deharadoon mean agar kuchh din maian shanti se rahata, to sambhav tha, mera ahat hriday sanbhal jata aur maian vimal baboo ko mana leta; lekin vahaan pahuanche ek saptah bhi n hua tha ki mujhe tara ka patr mil gaya. pate ko dekhakar mere hath kaanpane lage. samast deh mean kanpan-sa hone laga. shayad sher ko samane dekhakar maian itana bhayabhit n hota. himmat hi n p dati thi ki use kholooan. vahi likhavat thi, vahi motiyoan ki l di, jise dekhakar mere lochan tript-se ho jate the, jise choomata tha aur hriday se lagata tha, vahi kale akshar aj naginoan se bhi zyada daravane maloom hote the. anuman kar raha tha ki usane kya likha hoga; par anuman ki door tak dau d bhi patr ke vishay tak n pahuanch saki. akhir, ek bar kaleja mazaboot karake maianne patr khol dala. dekhate hi aankhoan mean andhera chha gaya. maloom hua, kisi ne shisha pighalakar pila diya. tara ka vivah tay ho gaya tha. shadi hone mean kul chaubis ghante baki the. usane mujhase apani bhooloan ke lie kshama maangi thi aur vinati ki thi ki – ‘mujhe bhula mat dena. patr ka aantim vaky padhakar meri aankhoan se aansuoan ki jh di lag gayi. likha tha yah aantim pyar lo. ab aj se mere aur tumhare bich mean keval maitri ka nata hai. magar kuchh aur samajhooan to vah apane pati ke sath anyay hoga, jise shayad tum sabase zyada napasand karoge. bas isase adhik aur n likhooangi. bahut achchha hua ki tum yahaan se chale gaye. tum yahaan rahate, to tumhean bhi du:kh hota aur mujhe bhi. magar pyare ! apani is abhagini tara ko bhool n jana. tumase yahi antim nivedan hai.t   maian patr ko hath mean liye-liye let gaya. maloom hota tha, chhati phat jayagi ! bhagavanh, ab kya karooan ? jab tak maian lakhanoo pahuanchooanga, barat dvar par a chuki hogi, yah nishchay tha. lekin tara ke aantim darshan karane ki prabal ichchha ko maian kisi tarah n rok sakata tha. vahi ab jivan ki aantim lalasa thi. maianne jakar kamaandiang aphisar se kaha, ‘mujhe ek b de zaroori kam se lakhanoo jana hai. tin din ki chhutti chahata hooan.‘ sahab ne kaha, ‘abhi chhutti nahian mil sakati. ‘ 'mera jana zaroori hai.' 'tum nahian ja sakate.' 'maian kisi tarah nahian ruk sakata.' 'tum kisi tarah nahian ja sakate.'   maianne aur adhik agrah n kiya. vahaan se chala aya. rat ki ga di se lakhanoo jane ka nishchay kar liya. kort-marshal ka ab mujhe jara bhi dar n tha. jab maian lakhanoo pahuancha, to sham ho gayi thi. kuchh der tak maian pletapharm se door kh da khoob andhera ho jane ka intajar karata raha. tab apani kismat ke natak ka sabase bhishan kaand dekhane chala. barat dvar par a gayi thi. gais ki roshani ho rahi thi. barati log jama the. hamare makan ki chhat tara ki chhat se mili huee thi. rasta maradane kamare ki bagal se tha. chacha sahab shayad kahian sair karane gaye hue the. naukar-chakar sab barat ki bahar dekh rahe the. maian chupake se jine par chadha aur chhat par ja pahuancha. vahaan us vakt bilakul sannata tha. use dekhakar mera dil bhar aya. hay ! yahi vah sthan hai, jahaan hamane prem ke anand uthaye the. yahian maian tara ke sath baithakar zindagi ke manasoobe baandhata tha ! yahi sthan meri ashaoan ka svarg aur mere jivan ka tirth tha. is zamin ka ek-ek anu mere lie madhur-smritiyoan se pavitr tha. par hay ! mere hriday ki bhaanti aj vah bhi ooja d, sunasan, andhera tha.l   maian usi zamin se lipatakar khoob roya, yahaan tak ki hichakiyaan bandh gayian. kash ! us vakt tara vahaan a jati, to maian usake charanoan par sir rakhakar hamesha ke lie so jata ! mujhe aisa bhasit hota tha ki tara ki pavitr atma meri dasha par ro rahi hai. aj bhi tara yahaan zaroor ayi hogi. shayad isi zamin par lipatakar vah bhi royi hogi. us bhoomi se usake sugandhit keshoan ki mahak a rahi thi. maianne jeb se roomal nikala aur vahaan ki dhool jama karane laga. ek kshan mean maianne sari chhat saf kar dali aur apani abhilashaoan ki is rakh ko hath mean liye ghantoan roya. yahi mere prem ka puraskar hai, yahi meri upasana ka varadan hai, yahi mere jivan ki vibhooti hai. hay ri durasha ! niche vivah ke sanskar ho rahe the. thik adhi rat ke samay vadhoo mandap ke niche ayi, ab bhaanvarean hoangi. maian chhat ke kinare chala aya aur vah marmantak drishy dekhane laga. bas, yahi maloom ho raha tha ki koee hriday ke tuk de kiye dalata hai. ashchary hai, meri chhati kyoan n phat gayi, meri aankhean kyoan n nikal p dian. vah mandap mere lie ek chita thi, jisamean vah sabakuchh, jis par mere jivan ka adhar tha, jala ja raha tha.

  bhaanvarean samapt ho gayian to maian kothe se utara. ab kya baki tha ?chita ki rakh bhi jalamagn ho chuki thi. dil ko thame, vedana se t dapata hua, jine ke dvar tak aya; magar dvar bahar se band tha. ab kya ho ? ulte paanv lauta. ab tara ke aangan se hokar jane ke siva doosara rasta n tha. maianne socha, is jamaghat mean mujhe kaun pahachanata hai, nikal jaooanga. lekin jyoanhi aangan mean pahuancha, tara ki mataji ki nigah p d gayi. chauankakar bolian, ‘qaun, krishnaa baboo ? tum kab aye ? ao, mere kamare mean ao. tumhare chacha sahab ke bhay se hamane tumhean nyauta nahian bheja. tara prat:kal vida ho jayagi. ao, usase mil lo. din-bhar se tumhari rat laga rahi hai.‘ yah kahate hue unhoanne mera bajoo pak d liya aur mujhe khianchate hue apane kamare mean le gayian. phir poochha, ‘apane ghar se hote hue aye ho n ?’ maianne kaha, ‘mera ghar yahaan kahaan hai ?’ 'kyoan, tumhare chacha sahab nahian haian ?' 'haan, chacha sahab ka ghar hai, mera ghar ab kahian nahian hai. banane ki kabhi asha thi, par ap logoan ne vah bhi to d di.' 'hamara isamean kya dosh tha bhaiya ? l daki ka byah to kahian-n-kahian karana tha. tumhare chachaji ne to hamean manjhadhar mean chho d diya tha. bhagavanh hi ne ubara. kya abhi steshan se chale a rahe ho ? tab to abhi kuchh khaya bhi n hoga.' 'haan, tho da-sa zahar lakar dijie, yahi mere lie sabase achchhi dava hai.' vriddha vismit hokar muanh takane lagi. mujhe tara se kitana prem tha, vah bechari kya janati thi ? maianne usi virakti ke sath phir kaha, ‘zab ap logoan ne mujhe mar dalane hi ka nishchay kar liya, to ab der kyoan karati haian ? ap mere sath yah daga kareangi yah maian n samajhata tha. khair, jo hua, achchha hi hua. chacha aur bap ki aankhoan se girakar maian shayad apaki aankhoan mean bhi n janchata. budhiya ne meri taraph shikayat ki najaroan se dekhakar kaha, tum hamako itana svarthi samajhate ho, beta.‘ maianne jale hue hriday se kaha, ‘ab tak to n samajhata tha lekin paristhiti ne aisa samajhane ko majaboor kiya. mere khoon ka pyasa dushman bhi mere oopar isase ghatak var n kar sakata. mera khoon ap hi ki garadan par hoga.‘ 'tumhare chachaji ne hi to inkar kar diya ?' 'ap logoan ne mujhase bhi kuchh poochha,, mujhase bhi kuchh kaha,mujhe bhi kuchh kahane ka avasar diya ? apane to aisi nigahean pherian jaise ap dil se yahi chahati thian. magar ab apase shikayat kyoan karooan ? tara khush rahe, mere lie yahi bahut hai.' 'to beta, tumane bhi to kuchh nahian likha; agar tum ek puraja bhi likh dete, to hamean taskin ho jati. hamean kya maloom tha ki tum tara ko itana pyar karate ho. hamase zaroor bhool huee; magar usase b di bhool tumase huee. ab mujhe maloom hua ki tara kyoan barabar dakiye ko poochhati rahati thi. abhi kal vah din-bhar dakiye ki rah dekhati rahi. jab tumhara koee khat nahian aya, tab vah nirash ho gayi. bula dooan use ? milana chahate ho ?' maianne charapaee se uthakar kaha, ‘nahian-nahian, use mat bulaie. maian ab use nahian dekh sakata. use dekhakar maian n-jane kya kar baithooan.‘ yah kahata hua maian chal p da. tara ki maan ne kee bar pukara par maianne pichhe phir kar bhi n dekha.   yah hai mujh nirash ki kahani. ise aj das sal gujar gaye. in das saloan mean mere oopar jo kuchh biti, use maian hi janata hooan. kee-kee din mujhe nirahar rahana p da hai. fauj se to usake tisare hi din nikal diya gaya tha. ab mare-mare phirane ke siva mujhe koee kam nahian. pahale to kam milata hi nahian aur agar mil bhi gaya, to maian tikata nahian. zindagi paha d ho gayi hai. kisi bat ki ruchi nahian rahi. adami ki soorat se door bhagata hooan.  tara prasann hai. tin-char sal hue, ek bar maian usake ghar gaya tha. usake svami ne bahut agrah karake bulaya tha. bahut kasamean dilayian. majaboor hokar gaya. vah kali ab khilakar phool ho gayi hai. tara mere samane ayi. usaka pati bhi baitha hua tha. maian usaki taraph tak n saka. usane mere pair khianch liye. mere muanh se ek shabd bhi n nikala. agar tara dukhi hoti, kasht mean hoti, phatehaloan mean hoti, to maian us par bali ho jata; par sampann, saras, vikasit tara meri sanvedana ke yogy n thi. maian is kutil vichar ko n rok saka qitani nishthurata ! kitani bevaphaee ! sham ko maian udas baitha vahaan jane par pachhata raha tha ki tara ka pati akar mere pas baith gaya aur muskarakar bola, ‘babooji, mujhe yah sunakar khed hua ki tara se mere vivah ho jane ka apako b da sadama hua. tara-jaisi ramani shayad devataoan ko bhi svarthi bana deti; lekin maian apase sach kahata hooan, agar maian janata ki apako usase itana prem hai, to maian haragij apaki rah ka kaanta n banata. shok yahi hai ki mujhe bahut pichhe maloom hua. tara mujhase apaki prem-katha kah chuki hai.‘ maianne muskarakar kaha, ‘tab to apako meri soorat se ghrina hogi.‘ usane josh se kaha, ‘isake pratikool maian apaka abhari hooan. prem ka aisa pavitr, aisa ujjval adarsh apane usake samane rakha. vah apako ab bhi usi muhabbat se yad karati hai. shayad koee din aisa nahian jata ki apaka zikr n karati ho. apake prem ko vah apani zindagi ki sabase pyari chiz samajhati hai. ap shayad samajhate hoan ki un dinoan ko yad karake use du:kh hota hoga. bilkul nahian, vahi usake jivan ki sabase madhur smritiyaan haian. vah kahati hai, maianne apane krishnaa ko tumamean paya hai. mere lie itana hi kafi hai.

sanbandhit lekh

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