श्रीकांत उपन्यास भाग-18

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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aj be-vakt kalakatte pahuanchane ke lie nikal p da. usake bad isase bhi zyada dukhamay hai barma ka nirvasan. vahaan se lautakar ane ka shayad samay bhi n hoga aur prayojan bhi n hoga. shayad yah jana hi antim jana ho. ginakar dekha, das din baki haian. das din jivan ke lihaz kitane se haian! tathapi, man mean sandeh nahian raha ki das din pahale jo yahaan aya tha aur aj jo bida lekar ja raha hai, donoan ek nahian haian.

bahutoan ko khed ke sath kahate hue suna hai ki yah kisane socha tha amuk vyakti aisa ho jayega- arthath, amuk ka jivan mano sooryagrahan aur chandragrahan ki tarah usake anuman ke panchaang mean thik-thik ginakar likha hua hai, usaka thik n milana sirph achinty hi nahian, ayukt bhi hai- mano unaki buddhi ke hisab-kitab ke bahar duniya mean aur kuchh hai hi nahian. ve nahian janate ki sansar mean keval vibhinn manushy hi nahian haian, balki isaka pata lagana bhi kathin hai ki ek-ek manushy bhi kitane vibhinn manushyoan ke roop mean roopantarit ho jata hai- yahaan par ek kshan bhi tikshnata aur tivrata mean samast jivan ko atikram kar sakata hai.

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sidha rasta chho dakar van-jangaloan mean se is us raste chakkar lagata hua steshan ja raha tha- bahut kuchh usi tarah jis tarah bachapan mean pathashala ko jaya karata tha. tren ka vakt nahian janata, usaki jaldi bhi nahian hai,- sirph yah janata hooan ki vahaan pahuanchane par koee n koee tren, jab bhi mile, mil hi jayegi. chalate-chalate ekaek aisa laga ki sab raste jaise pahachane hue haian, mano kitane dinoan tak kitani bar in rastoan se aya gaya hooan! pahale ve b de the, ab n jane kyoan sankirn aur chhote ho gaye haian. are yah kya, yah to khaan- logoan ka hatyara bag hai! are, vahi to hai! aur yah to maian apane hi gaanv ke dakshin ke muhalle ke kinare se ja raha hooan. usane n jane kab shool ki vyatha ke mare is imali ke pe d ki oopar ki dal mean rassi baandhakar atmahatya kar li thi. ki thi ya nahian, nahian janata, par pray: aur sab gaanvoan ki tarah yahaan bhi yah janashruti hai. pe d raste ke kinare hai, bachapan mean is par nazar p date hi sharir mean kaante uth ate the, aauankhean band karake ek hi dau d mean is sthan ko pas kar jana p data tha.

pe d vaisa hi hai. us vakt aisa lagata tha ki is hatyare pe d ka dh d mano paha d ki tarah hai aur matha akash se jakar takara raha hai. parantu aj dekha ki us bechare mean garv karane layaq kuchh nahian hai, aur jaise any imali ke pe d hote haian vaisa hi hai. janahin gram ke ek or ekaki ni:shabd kh da hai. shaishav mean jisane kafi daraya hai, aj bahut varshoan bad ke pratham sakshath mean usi ne manoan bandhu ki tarah aauankh michakakar majak kiya, kaho mere bandhu, kaise ho, dar to nahian lagata?

maianne pas jakar param sneh ke sath usake sharir par hath phera. man hi man kaha, achchha hi hooan bhaee. dar kyoan lagega, tum to mere bachapan ke p dausi ho- mere atmiy!

sandhh‍ya ka prakash bujhata ja raha tha. maianne bida lete hue kaha, bhagy achchha tha jo achanak mulakat ho gayi, ab jata hooan bandhu!

shrenibaddh bahut se bagichoan ke bad jara khuli jagah hai. anyamanask hota to ise bhi par kar jata, kintu sahasa anek dinoan ki bhooli huee-si parantu parichit ek bahut hi sundar mithi gandh se chauank p da-idhar-udhar niharate hi najar p d gayi- vah! yah to hamari usi yashoda vaishnavi ke aoos phooloan ki gandh hai! bachapan mean inake lie yashoda ki kitani arajoo-minnat nahian ki thi? is jati ka pe d idhar nahian hota, kya maloom kahaan se lakar usane isako apane aauangan ke ek kone mean lagaya tha. tedhi-medhi aur gaanthoanvali, boodhe adami jaisi usaki shakal thi. us din ki tarah aj bhi usaki vahi ekamatr sajiv shakha hai aur oopar ke kuchh tho de se hare pattoan ke bich vaise hi tho de se kuchh saphed phool haian. isake niche yashoda ke svami ki samadhi thi. vaishnav thakur ko hamane nahian dekha tha, hamare janm ke pahale ve svargadham sidhar chuke the. unaki chhoti-manihari ki dukan tab unaki vidhava hi chalati thi. dukan to nahian thi, par ek daliya mean yashoda chhoti-chhoti arasiyaan, kanghiyaan, nare, mahavar, tel ke masale, kaanch ke khilaune, tin ki vanshi ityadi bharakar ghar-ghar ghoomakar becha karati thi. isake sivay usake pas machhali pak dane ka saman bhi rahata tha- adhik nahian, ek-ek do-do paise ki doriyaan aur kaante. inhean kharidane jab ham usake ghar jate, to bahut dhoom machate. is aoos ke pe d ki ek sookhi dal par banae hue mitti ke ale par yashoda sandhyam ke samay dipak jalati thi aur phooloan ke lie upadrav karane par vah hamean samadhi dikhakar kahati, "nahian bachchoan, ye mere devata ke phool haian, to dane par naraj hoange."

vaishnavi ab nahian hai, pata nahian ki vah kab mar gayi, shayad bahut din nahian hue. pe d ke ek kinare aur ek chhote chabootare par nazar p di, shayad yah yashoda ki samadhi hogi. bahut sambhav hai ki sudirgh pratiksha ke bad usane bhi pati ke pas hi apane lie tho da-sa sthan kar liya ho. stoop ki khudi huee mitti zyada urbvar ho jane ke karan bichchhoo khoob ho gaye haian aur pe d ko chamagid doan ne chha diya hai- sanbhalane vala koee nahian hai.

rasta chho dakar shaishav ke us parichit boodhe pe d ke pas jakar kh da ho gaya. dekha ki sham ko jalane vala vah dipak niche p da hai aur usake oopar ki vah sookhi dal aj bhi vaisi hi tel se kali ho rahi hai.

yashoda ka chhota-sa ghar abhi tak poori tarah dhaha nahian hai- sahasr-chhidramay aur jirn-shirn phoos ka chhappar daravaze ko dhakakar auandha p da hua aj bhi pranapan se raksha kar raha hai.

bis-pachchis varsh pahale ki n jane kitani batean yad a gayian- baansoan ke gher se ghira hua lipa-puta yashoda ka aauangan, aur vahi chhota-sa kamara. usaki aj yah dasha hai! par isase bhi bahut zyada ek karun vastu ab bhi dekhane ko baki thi. akasmath dekha ki usi ghar ke toote chhappar ke niche se ek kankal-shesh kutta bahar nikala. mere pairoan ki avaz se chakit hokar shayad usane mere anadhikar-pravesh ka prativad karana chaha. par usaki avaz itani kshin thi ki usake muanh mean hi rah gayi.

kaha, "kyoan re, maianne aparadh to nahian kiya?"

usane mere muanh ki or dekhakar n jane kya socha aur phir pooanchh hilana shuroo kar diya. maianne kaha, "ab bhi too yahian hai?"

usane pratyuttar mean sirph donoan malin aauankhean kholakar atyant nirupay ki tarah mere muanh ki taraph dekha.

isamean shak nahian ki yah yashoda ka kutta hai. phooladar rangin kinari ka gal-patta ab bhi usake gale mean hai. maian samajh hi n saka ki us ni:santan ramani ke ekant sneh ka dhan yah kutta aj bhi is parityakt kuti mean kya khakar jivit hai. muhalloan mean jakar chhin jhapat kar khane ka zor to usamean hai nahian, adat bhi nahian hai, aur svajati ke sath mel rakhane ki shiksha bhi use nahian mili. lihaza bhookha aur adhabhookha rahakar yahian p da p da bechara shayad usi ki rah dekh raha hai, jo usako ek din pyar karati thi. sochata hoga ki kahian n kahian gayi hai, ek n ek din lautakar ayegi hi. man hi man kaha, yahi kya aisa hai? is pratyasha ko bilkudal hi poanchh dalana sansar mean kya itana asan hai?

jane ke pahale chhappar ki saiandh mean se ek bar bhitar ki or drishti dali. andhakar mean aur to kuchh bhi dikhaee n p da, divar par chipaki huee kuchh tasavirean najar a gayi. raja rani se lekar nana jati ke devi-devataoan tak ki tasavirean haian. kap de ke naye thanoan mean se nihal nikal kar yashoda inhean sangrah karati thi aur is tarah vah apana tasviroan ka shauq mitati thi. yad aya ki bachapan mean inako anek bar mugdh drishti se dekha hai. barish se bhigakar, divar ki mitti se big d kar, ye aj bhi kisi tarah tiki huee haian.

aur p di huee pas ke hi chhianke par vaisi hi durdasha mean vah rangin han diy jise dekhate hi mujhe yah bat yad a gayi ki isamean usake alate ke bandal rahate the. aur bhi idhar-udhar kya-kya p da tha, andhakar mean pata nahian p da. ve sab chizean milakar pranapan se mujhe n jane kis bat ka iangit karane lagian, par us bhasha se maian anajan tha. kuchh aisa laga ki makan ke ek kone mean mano kisi mrit shishu ka khilauna-ghar hai. ghar-grihasthi ki nana tooti-phooti chijoan se yatnapoorvak sajae hue is kshudr sansar ko vah chho d naya hai. aj un chijoan ka adar nahian hai, prayojan bhi nahian, aauanchal se bar-bar jha dane-poanchhane ki zaroorat bhi nahian-p da hua hai sirph janjal, isalie ki kisi ne use mukt nahian kiya hai.

vah kutta kuchh der tak sath-sath aya aur thahar gaya. jab tak dikhaee p da tab tak bechara is or takataki lagaye kh da dekhata raha hai. usake sath ka yah parichay pratham bhi hai, aur antim bhi. phir bhi vah kuchh age badhakar bida dene aya hai. maian ja raha hooan kisi bandhuhin, lakshyahin pravas ke lie, aur vah laut jayega apane andhakarapoorn nirale toote hue makan mean! donoan ke hi sansar mean aisa koee nahian hai jo rah dekhate hue pratiksha kar raha ho!

bagiche ke par hi jane par vah aauankhoan se ojhal ho gaya, parantu paanch hi minat ke is abhage sathi ke lie hriday bhitar hi bhitar ro utha, aisi dasha ho gayi ki aauankhoan ke aauansoo n rok saka.

chalate-chalate soch raha tha ki aisa kyoan hota hai? aur kisi din yah sab dekhata to shayad kuchh vishesh khayal n ata, par aj mera hridayakash meghoan ke bhar se bharatur ho raha hai- jo un logoan ke du:kh ki hava se saik doan dharaoan mean baras p dana chahate haian.

steshan pahuanch gaya. bhagy achchha tha, usi vakt ga di mil gayi, kalakatte ke nivas-sthan par pahuanchane tak zyada rat n hogi. tikat kharid kar baith gaya aur usane siti dekar yatra shuroo kar di. steshan ke prati use moh nahian, sajal aauankhoan se bar-bar ghoomakar dekhane ki use zaroorat nahian.

phir vahi yad ayi- manushy ke jivan mean das din kitane-se haian; phir bhi kitane b de haian!

kal subah kamalalata akeli hi phool to dane javegi aur usake bad usaki sare din chalane vali dev-seva shuroo ho jayegi! kya maloom, das din ke sathi naye gusaeean ko bhoolane mean use kitane din lage.

us din usane kaha tha, "sukh se hi to hooan gusaeean. jinake pad-padmoan par apane-apako nivedan kar diya hai ve dasi ka kabhi parityag nahian kareange." so, yahi ho. aisi hi ho.

bachapan se hi mere jivan ka koee lakshy nahian hai, balapoorvak kisi bhi chiz ki kamana karana maian nahian janata- sukh-du:kh sambandhi meri dharana bhi alag hai. tathapi itani umr kat gayi sirph doosaroan ka anukaran karane mean-doosaroan ke vishvas par aur doosaroan ka hukm tamil karane mean. isalie koee bhi kam mere dvara achchhi tarah nirvahit nahian hota. dubidha se durbal mere sare sankalp aur sare udyog tho di hi door chalate haian aur thokar khakar raste mean hi choor-choor ho jate haian; tab sabhi kahane lagate haian, "alasi hai, kisi kam ka nahian." shayad isilie un nikamme bairagiyoan ke akha de mean hi mera antaravasi aparichit bandhu asphut chhaya-roop mean mujhe darshan de gaya, maianne bar-bar naraj hokar muanh phira liya aur usane bar-bar smit hasy se hath hila-hilakar n jane kya ishara kiya.

aur vah vaishnavi kamalalata! usaka jivan manoan prachin vaishnav kavi chittoan ke aauansuoan ka git hai. chhandoan mean mel nahian, vyakaran mean bhoolean haian, bhasha mean bhi anek trutiyaan haian, par usaka vichar to us or se nahian kiya ja sakata. mano usi ka diya hua kirtan ka sur hai- jisake marm mean paithata hai, use hi usaka pata chalata hai. vah mano godhooli ke akash ki rangabirangi tasavir hai. usaka nam nahian, sanjna nahian-kalashastr ke sootroan ke anusar usaka parichay dena bhi vidambana hai.

mujhase kaha tha, "chalo n gusaeean, yahaan se chal dean, git gate gate path hi path par donoan ke din kat jayeange."

use kahane mean to kuchh nahian laga, par vah mujhe khataka. mera nam rakkha hai usane 'naye gusaeean." kaha, "asal nam to maian muanh se nikal nahian sakati gusaeean." usaka vishvas hai ki maian usake vigat-jivan ka bandhu hooan. mujhase use dar nahian, mere pas rahate hue usaki sadhana mean vighn nahian a sakata. vairagi dvarikadas ki vah shishya hai, maloom nahian unhoanne use kis sadhana se siddhi-labh karane ka mantr diya hai.

ekaek rajalakshmi ki yad a gayi aur usaki us kathor chitthi ka khayal a gaya jo sneh aur svarth ke mishran se bhari huee thi. to bhi janata hooan ki is jivan ke poorv viram par vah mere lie shesh ho gayi hai. shayad yah achchha hi hua hai. kintu us shoonyata ko bharane ke lie kya kahian bhi koee hai? khi daki ke bahar andhakar ko takata hua chupachap baitha raha. ek-ek karake n jane kitani batean aur kitani ghatanaean yad a gayian. shikar ke ayojan ke lie kh da kiya hua kumar sahab ka vah tamboo, vah dal-bal aur anek varshoan ke bad pravas mean us pratham sakshath ke din ki dipt kali aauankhoan mean usaki vah vismay-vimugdh drishti! jise janata tha ki mar gayi hai, jise pahichan nahian saka- us din shmashan ke path par usi ne kitani vyagr-vyakul vinati ki thi aur ant mean kruddh nirasha ka vah kaisa tivr abhiman tha! rasta rokakar kaha tha, "jana chahate ho isilie kya maian tumhean jane dooangi? dekhooan, kaise jate ho! is videsh mean yadi koee vipatti a p di, to kaun dekh-bhal karega? ve ya maian?"

is dapha use pahichana. yah zor hi usaka hamesha ka sachcha parichay hai. jivan mean yah usase phir kabhi n chhoota- isase usake nikat kabhi kisi ko avyahati nahian mili.

raste ke ek kinare marane ko p da tha ki niand tootane par aauankhean kholakar dekhata hooan ki vah sirahane baithi hai. tab sari chintaean use sauanpakar aauankhean band kar so gaya. yah bhar usaka hai, mera nahian!

gaanv ke makan mean akar bimar p d gaya. yahaan vah nahian a sakati thi-yahaan vah mrit hai-isase badhakar aur koee lajja usake lie nahian thi, phir bhi jise apane nikat paya vah vahi rajalakshmi thi.

chitthi mean likha hai, "tumhari dekh-bhal kaun karega? pooantoo? aur maian sirph naukar ki jubani khabar sunakar laut jaooangi? isake bad bhi jivit rahane ke lie kahate ho?"

is prashn ka javab nahian diya. isalie nahian ki janata nahian, balki isalie ki sahas nahian hua.

man hi man kaha, kya keval roop mean hi? sanyam mean, shasan mean, sukathor atmaniyantran mean us prakhar buddhimati ke nikat yah snigdha sukomal ashramavasini kamalalata kitani-si hai! par us itani-si mean hi is bar mano maianne apane svabhav ki pratichchhavi dekhi. aisa laga ki usake nikat hi hai meri mukti, maryada aur ni:shvas chho dane ka avakash. vah kabhi meri sari chintaean, sari bhalaee-buraiyaan apane hathoan mean lekar rajalakshmi ki tarah mujhe achchhann nahian kar dalegi.

soch raha tha ki videsh jakar kya karooanga? kya hoga is naukari se? koee nahian bat to hai nahian- us din bhi aisa kya paya tha jisako phir se pane ke lie aj lobh karana hoga? sirph kamalalata ne hi to nahian kaha, dvar ka gusaeean ne bhi ashram mean rahane ke lie ekant samadar se ahvan kiya hai. yah kya sab vanchana hai, manushy ko dhokha dene ke alava kya is amantran mean kuchh bhi saty nahian hai? ab tak jivan jis tarah kata hai, kya yahi usaka shesh hai? kya ab kuchh bhi jane ko baki nahian raha, kya mere lie sab janana samapt ho gaya? hamesha isaki ashraddha aur upeksha hi ki hai, kaha hai, sab asar hai, sab bhool hai, par sirph avishvas aur upahas ko hi mool-dhan man lene se hi sansar mean kabhi koee b di vastu kisi ko mili hai?

ga di akar hav da steshan par ruk gayi. sthir kiya ki rat ko ghar rahakar jo kuchh chizean haian, jo kuchh lena-dena hai, vah sab chuka pata kar kal phir ashram ko laut jaooanga. gayi meri naukari, aur rah gaya mera barma jana. jab ghar pahuancha tab rat ke das baje the. ahar ka prayojan to tha, par upay n tha. hath-muanh dhokar aur kap de badalakar bichhauna jha d raha tha ki pichhe se ek suparichit kanth ki avaz ayi, "babooji, a gaye?"

savismay ghoomakar dekha, ratan, "kab aya re?"

"sham ko hi aya hooan. baramade mean b di achchhi hava thi, alasy mean jara so gaya tha."

"bahut achchha kiya. khaya nahian hai n?"

"ji nahian."

"tab to ratan, toone b di mushkil mean dal diya."

ratan ne poochha, "aur apane?"

svikar karana p da, "maianne bhi nahian khaya hai."

ratan ne khush hokar kaha, "tab to achchha hi hua. apaka prasad pakar rat kat dooanga."

man hi man kaha ki yah naee-beta vinay ka avatar hai, kisi bhi tarah hataprabh nahian hota. kaha, "to kisi pas ki dukan mean khoj yadi kuchh prasad juta sake. par shubhagaman kisalie hua? phir bhi koee chitthi hai?"

ratan ne kaha, "ji nahian, chitthi likhane mean b di jhanjhat hai. jo kuchh kahana hoga ve khud muanh se hi kaheangi."

"isaka matalab? mujhe phir jana hoga kya?"

"ji nahian. maan khud aee haian."

sunakar ghab da gaya. use is rat mean kahaan thaharaooan? kya bandobast karooan? kuchh samajh mean n aya. par kuchh to karana hi chahie, poochha, "jab se aee haian tab se kya gho daga di mean hi baithi haian?"

ratan ne hansakar kaha, "nahian baboo, hamean aye char din ho gaye, in char dinoan se apake lie din-rat pahara de raha hooan. chalie."

"kahaan? kitani door?"

"kuchh door to zaroor hai, par maianne ga di kiraye kar rakkhi hai, kasht nahian hoga."

atev, dubara kap de pahanakar daravaze mean tala band kar phir yatra karani p di. shyamabazar ki ek gali mean ek domanjila makan hai, samane divar se ghira hua ek phooloan ka bagicha hai, rajalakshmi ke boodhe daraban ne dvar kholate hi mujhe dekha, anand ki sima n rahi, sir hilakar lamba-chau da namaskar kar poochha, "achchhe haian babooji?"

"haan tulasidas, achchha hooan. tum achchhe ho?"

pratyuttar mean phir usane vaisa hi namaskar kiya. tulasi muanger zile ka hai jat ka kurmi, brahman hone ke nate vah barabar bangali riti se mere pair chhookar pranam karata hai.

hamari batachit ki vajah se shayad aur bhi ek hindustani naukar ki niand khul gayi, ratan ke zor se dhamakane ke karan vah bechara hakka-bakka ho gaya. bina karan doosaroan ko dara-dhamaka kar hi ratan is makan mean apani maryada qayam rakhata hai. bola, "jab se aye ho, khali sote ho aur roti khate ho, tambakoo tak chilam mean sajakar nahian rakh sakate? jao jaldi..." yah adami naya hai, dar se chilam sajane dau d gaya. oopar sidhi ke samane vala baramada par karane par ek bahut b da kamara mila gais ke ujjval prakash se alokit. charoan or karpet bichha hua hai, usake oopar phooladar jajam aur do-char takiye p de haian. pas hi mera bahuvyavahrit atyant priy huqqa aur usase tho di hi door par mere jari ke kam vale makhamali slipar savadhani se rakkhe hue haian. ye rajalakshmi ne apane hath se bune the aur parihas mean mere ek janmadin ke avasar par upahar diye the. pas ka kamara bhi khula hua hai, par usamean koee nahian hai. khule daravaze se ek bar jhaankakar dekha ki ek or nayi kharidi huee khat par bichhauna bichha hua hai aur doosari or vaisi hi nayi khooanti par sirph mere hi kap de tange haian. gangamati jane se pahale ye sab taiyar hue the. yad bhi n the, aur kabhi kam mean bhi nahian aye.

ratan ne pukara, "maan?"

"ati hooan," kahakar rajalakshmi samane akar kh di ho gayi aur pairoan ki dhool lekar pranam karake boli, "ratan, chilam to bhar la, tujhe bhi idhar kee dinoan se b di takaliph di."

"takaliph kuchh bhi nahian huee maan. raji-khushi inhean ghar lauta laya, yahi mere lie bahut hai." kahakar vah niche chala gaya.

rajalakshmi ko nayi aauankhoan se dekha. sharir mean roop nahian samata. us din ki piyari yad a gayi. in kee varshoan ke du:kh-shok ke aauandhi-toofan mean nahakar mano usane naya roop dharan kar liya hai. in char dinoan ke is naye makan ki vyavastha se chakit nahian hua, kyoanki usaki suvyavastha se pe d-tale ka vas-sthan bhi sundar ho uthata hai. kintu rajalakshmi ne mano apane apako bhi in kee dinoan mean mitakar phir se banaya hai. pahale vah bahut gahane pahinati thi, bich mean sab khol diye the- mano sannyasini ho. lekin aj phir pahane haian- kuchh tho de se hi- par dekhane par aisa laga ki mano ve atishay kimati haian. phir bhi dhoti zyada kimati nahian hai- mil ki sa di- athoan pahar ghar mean pahanane ki. mathe ke aauanchal ki kinari ke niche se nikalakar chhote-chhote bal galoan ke ird-gird jhool rahe haian. chhote hone ke karan hi shayad ve usaki ajna nahian manate! dekhakar avakh! ho raha.

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "itana kya dekh rahe ho?"

"tumako dekh raha hooan."

"nayi hooan?"

"aisa hi to lag raha hai."

"aur mujhe kya lag raha hai, janate ho?"

"nahian."

"ichchha ho rahi hai ki ratan ke chilam taiyar kar lane ke pahale hi apane donoan hath tumhare gale mean dal dooan. dal dene par kya karoge batao?" kahakar hans p di. boli, "uthakar bahar to nahian pheank doge?"

maian bhi hansi n rok saka. kaha, "dalakar dekh hi lo n! par itani hansi- kahian bhaang to nahian kha li hai?"

sidhiyoan par pairoan ki avaz sunaee di. buddhiman ratan jara zor se pair patakata hua chadh raha tha. rajalakshmi ne hansi dabakar dhire se kaha, "pahale ratan ko chale jane do, phir tumhean bataooangi ki bhaang khaee hai ya aur kuchh khaya hai." par kahate-kahate achanak usaka gala bhari ho gaya. kaha, "is anajan jagah mean char-paanch din ko mujhe akela chho dakar tum pooantoo ki shadi karane gaye the? maloom hai, ye rat-din mere kis tarah kate haian?"

"mujhe kya maloom ki tum achanak a jaogi?"

"haan ji haan, achanak to kahoge hi. tum sab janate the. sirph mujhe tang karane ke lie hi chale gaye the."

ratan ne akar huqqa diya, bola, "bat tay huee hai maan, baboo ka prasad paooanga. rasoie se khana lane ke lie kah dooan? rat ke barah baj gaye haian."

barah sunakar rajalakshmi vyast ho gayi, "rasoie se nahian hoga, maian khud jati hooan. tum mere sone ke kamare mean tho di-si jagah kar do."

khane ke lie baithate vakt mujhe gangamati ke antim dinoan ki bat yad a gayi. tab yahi rasoiya aur yahi ratan mere khane ki dekh-rekh karate the. rajalakshmi ko meri khabar lene ko vakt nahian milata tha. par aj in logoan se nahian hoga- rasoee ghar mean khud jana hoga! par yah usaki prakriti hai, vah thi vikriti. samajh gaya ki karan kuchh bhi ho, kintu usane apane ko phir pa liya hai.

khana khatm hone par rajalakshmi ne poochha, "pooantoo ki shadi kaisi huee?"

"aauankhoan se nahian dekhi par kanoan se suni hai, achchhi tarah huee."

"aauankhoan se nahian dekhi? itane dinoan phir kahaan the?"

vivah ki sari ghatana kholakar sunayi. sunakar kshanabhar ke lie gal par hath rakkhe hue usane kaha, "tumane to avakh kar diya! ane ke pahale pooantoo ko kuchh upahar dekar nahian aye?"

"meri taraph se vah tum de dena."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "tumhari taraph se kyoan, apani taraph se hi l daki ko kuchh bhej dooangi. par the kahaan, yah to bataya hi nahian?"

kaha, "muraripur ke babaoan ke ashram ki yad hai?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "hai kyoan nahian. vaishnaviyaan vahian se to muhalle-muhalle mean bhikh maangane ati thian. bachapan ki batean mujhe khoob yad haian."

"vahian tha."

sunakar jaise rajalakshmi ke sharir mean kaante uth aye, "unhian vaishnaviyoan ke akha de mean? are meri maan!- kya kahate ho ji? unake vishay mean to bhayankar gandi batean suni haian!" kahakar vah sahasa uchch kanth se hans p di. ant mean muanh mean aauanchal dabakar boli, "to tumhare lie asadhy' kam koee nahian hai. ara mean jo tumhari moorti dekhi hai- mathe mean jata, sare sharir mean rudraksh ki mala, hathoan mean pital ke- vah adbhut..."

bat khatm n kar saki, hansate-hansate lot-pot ho gayi. naraj hokar use baitha diya. ant mean hichaki lekar muanh mean kap da thooansane par jab b di mushkil se hansi ruki to boli, 'vaishnaviyoan ne tumase kya kaha? chapati nakoanvali aur godanoan valian vahaan bahut-si rahati haian n ji..."

phir vaisa hi hansi ka phauvara chhootane vala tha, par satark kar diya, "is bar hansane par aisa k da dand dooanga ki kal naukaroan ko muanh n dikha sakogi."

rajalakshmi dar se door hat gayi, aur muanh se boli, "yah tum sarikhe vir purushoan ka kam nahian hai. khud hi sharm ke mare bahar nahian nikal sakoge. sansar mean tumase zyada bhiru purush aur koee hai?"

kaha, "tum kuchh bhi nahian janatian lakshmi. tumane bhiru kahakar avajna ki, par vahaan ek vaishnavi mujhase kahati thi ahankari- dambhi!"

"kyoan, usaka kya kiya tha?"

"kuchh bhi nahian. usane mera nam rakkha tha 'naye gusaeean'. kahati thi, "gusaeean tumhare udasin vairagi man ki apeksha adhik dambhi man prithvi mean aur doosara nahian hai."

rajalakshmi ki hansi ruk gayi "kya kaha usane?"

"kaha ki is tarah ke udasi, vairagi-man ke manushy ki apeksha adhik dambhi vyakti duniya mean khojane par bhi nahian milega. arthath maian durdharsh vir hooan, bhiru qatee nahian."

rajalakshmi ka chehara gambhir ho gaya. parihas ki or usane dhyavan hi n diya. boli, "tumhare udasin man ki khabar us haramajadi ne kaise pa li?"

"vaishnaviyoan ke prati aisi ashisht bhasha bahut apattijanak hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "yah janati hooan. par usane tumhara nam to rakkha naye gusaeean', aur usaka apana nam kya hai?"

"kamalalata. koee-koee prem se kamalilata bhi kahata hai. log kahate haian ki vah jadoo janati hai, usaka kirtan sunakar manushy pagal ho jata hai aur vah jo chahati hai vahi de deta."

"tumane suna hai?"

"suna hai. chamatkar!"

"usaki umr kya hai?"

"jan p data hai tumhare hi barabar hogi. kuchh zyada bhi ho sakati hai."

"dekhane mean kaisi hai?"

"achchhi. kam-se-kam kharab to nahian kahi ja sakati. jin chapati nakoan aur godanavaliyoan ko tumane dekha hai, unake dal ki vah nahian hai. vah bhale ghar ki l daki hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "maian usaki bat sunakar hi samajh gayi. jab tak tum rahe, tab tak tumhari seva karati thi n?"

"haan. meri koee shikayat nahian hai."

rajalakshmi ne ekaek ni:shvas chho dakar kaha, "so karane do. jis sadhana se tumako paya jata hai usase to bhagavan bhi mil sakate haian. yah vaishnav bairagiyoan ka kam nahian hai. maian darane jaooangi n jane kahaan ki is kamalalata se? chhi:!" kahakar vah uthi aur bahar chali gayi.

mere muanh se bhi ek dirgh ni:shvas nikal gayi. shayad kuchh beman ho gaya tha, is avaz se hosh mean aya. mote takiye ko khianch chit letakar huqqa pine laga.

oopar ek chhota-sa mak da ghoom-ghoom kar jal bun raha tha. gais ke ujjval prakash mean usaki chhaya bahut b de bibhats jantu ki tarah makan ki k diyoan par p d rahi thi. alok ke vyavaghan se chhaya bhi kee guni kaya ko atikram kar jati hai.

rajalakshmi lautakar mere hi takiye ke ek kone mean kohaniyoan ke bal jhukakar baith gayi. hath lagakar dekha ki usake kapal ke bal bhige hue haian. shayad abhi-abhi aauankh-muanh dhokar aee hai.

prashn kiya, "lakshmi, ekaek is tarah kalakatte kyoan chali ayi?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "ekaek qatee nahian. us din ke bad rat-din chaubis ghante man n jane kaisa hone laga ki kisi bhi tarah raha n gaya, dar laga ki kahian hart-phel n ho jay- is janm mean phir kabhi aauankhoan se nahian dekh sakooan" kahakar usane hukke ki nali mere muanh se nikalakar door pheank di. kaha, "jara thaharo. dhuean ke mare muanh tak dikhaee nahian deta, aisa andhakar kar rakkha hai."

hukke ki nali to gayi par badale mean meri mutthi mean usaka hath a gaya.

poochha, "bankoo ajakal kya kahata hai?"

rajalakshmi ne jara mlan hansi hansakar kaha, "bahuoan ke ane par sab l dake jo kahate haian, vahi."

"usase zyada kuchh nahian?"

"kuchh nahian to nahian kahati, par vah mujhe du:kh kya dega? du:kh to sirph tumhian de sakate ho. tum logoan ke alava auratoan ko sachamuch ka du:kh aur koee bhi nahian de sakata."

"par maianne kya kabhi koee du:kh diya hai lakshmi?"

rajalakshmi ne anavashyak hi mere kapal mean hath lagaya aur use poanchhakar kaha, "kabhi nahian. balki, maianne hi aj tak tumako n jane kitane du:kh die haian. apane sukh ke lie logoan ki najaroan mean tumhean hey banaya, pravrittivash tumhara asamman hone diya- usaka hi dand hai ki ab donoan kinare doobe ja rahe haian! dekh to rahe ho n?"

hansakar kaha, "kahaan, nahian to?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "to kisi ne mantar padhakar tumhari donoan aauankhoan par parda dal diya hai." phir kuchh chup rahakar kaha, "itane pap karake bhi sansar mean mere jaisa bhagy kisi ka kabhi dekha hai? par meri asha usase bhi nahian miti. n jane kahaan se a juta dharm ka pagalapan aur hath aee lakshmi apane pairoan se thukara di. gangamati se akar bhi chaitany nahian hua, kashi se tumhean anadar ke sath bida kar diya."

usaki donoan aauankhoan se tap-tap aauansoo girane lage, mere unhean hath se poanchh dene par boli, "apane hi hath se vish ka paudha lagaya tha, ab usamean phal lag gaye haian. kha nahian sakati, so nahian sakati, aauankhoan ki niand haram ho gayi, n jane kaise-kaise asambaddh dar hone lage jinaka n sir n pair. gurudev tab makan mean the, unhoanne koee kavach jaisa hath mean baandh diya, kaha, beti, subah ek hi asan par baithakar tumako das hazar bar isht nam ka jap karana hoga. par kahaan kar saki? man mean to ag jal rahi thi, pooja par baithate hi donoan aauankhoan se aauansuoan ki dhar bah chalati- usi samay aee tumhari chitthi aur tab itane dinoan bad rog pak da gaya."

"kisi ne pak da- gurudev ne? is bar shayad unhoanne phir ek kavach likh diya?"

"haanji, likh diya hai aur use tumhare gale mean baandhane ke lie kaha hai!"

aisa hi karana, baandh dena, agar tumhara rog achchha ho jay."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "us chitthi ko lekar mere do din kate. kaise kate yah nahian janati. ratan ko bulakar usake hathoan chitthi ka javab bhej diya. gangasnan kar annapoorna ke mandir mean kh de hokar kaha, "maan, aisa karo ki samay rahate unake hathoan chitthi pahuanch jay, mujhe atmahatya n karani p de'." mere muanh ki or dekhakar kaha, "mujhe is tarah kyoan baandha tha bolo?"

sahasa is jijnasa ka uttar n de saka. isake bad kaha, "tum auratoan ke dvara hi yah sambhav hai. ham yah soch bhi nahian sakate, samajh bhi nahian sakate."

"svikar karate ho?"

"haan."

rajalakshmi ne phir ek bar kshan-bhar ke lie meri or dekhakar kaha, "vakee vishvas karate ho ki yah ham logoan ke lie hi sambhav hai, purush yatharth mean aisa nahian kar sakate?"

kuchh der tak donoan stabdh rahe. rajalakshmi ne kaha, "mandir se bahar nikal kar dekha ki hamara patane ka lachhaman sahoo kh da hai. mere hath vah banarasi kap de becha karata tha. boodha mujhe bahut chahata tha aur mujhe beti kahakar pukarata tha. ashcharyanvit ho bola, "beti, ap yahaan?" mujhe maloom tha ki kalakatte mean usaki dukan hai. kaha, "sahooji, maian kalakatte jaooangi, mere lie ek makan thik kar sakate ho?"

usane kaha, " kar sakata hooan. bangali muhalle mean mera apana ek makan hai, saste mean kharida tha. chaho to utane hi rupayoan mean vah makan de sakata hooan." sahoo dharm-bhiru vyakti hai, us par mera vishvas tha, raji ho gayi. ghar par bulakar rupaye de die aur usane rasid likhakar de di. usi ke adamiyoan ne yah sab chizean kharid di haian. chhah-sat din bad hi ratan ko sath lekar yahaan chali ayi. man hi man kaha, "maan annapoorna, tumane mujh par daya ki hai, nahian to yah suyog kabhi n milata. mujhe unake darshan hoange hi' aur akhir darshan ho gaye."

kaha, "par mujhe to jaldi hi barma jana hoga lakshmi."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "thik hai, to chalo n. vahaan abhaya hai, sare desh mean buddh dev ke b de-b de mandir haian-un sabako dekh aooangi."

kaha, "par vah b da ganda desh hai lakshmi, shuchi-vayugrast logoan ke achar-vichar vahaan nahian chalate. us desh mean tum kaise jaogi?"

rajalakshmi ne mere kan par muanh rakhakar dhire-dhire n jane kya kaha, achchhi tarah se samajh mean nahian aya. kaha, "jara zor se kaho to sunaee de."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "nahian."

isake bad vah avash bhav se usi tarah p di rahi. sirph usake ushn dhan ni:shvas mere gale par aur mere galoan par akar p dane lage.

0000

"aji, utho. kap de badalakar hath-muanh dho lo. ratan chay liye kh da hai."

mera uttar n pane par rajalakshmi ne phir pukara, "kitani der ho gayi hai- ab kab tak sooge?"

karavat badalakar maianne avash kanth se kaha, "tumane sone hi kab diya? abhi abhi to soya hooan."

itane mean kanoan mean chay ki katori ki avaz pahuanchi jise ratan mej par rakhakar shayad lajja ke mare bhag gaya tha.

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "chhi chhi, tum kitane behaya ho. adami ko jhoothamooth hi apratibh kar sakate ho! khud ratabhar kumbhakarn ki tarah soye, balki maian hi jagakar pankha karati rahi ki garmi se kahian tumhari niand n khul jay aur mujhase hi ab aisa kahate ho! jaldi utho, nahian to oopar pani dal dooangi."

uth baitha. yadyapi der nahian huee thi to bhi sabera ho gaya tha, khi dakiyaan khuli huee thian. prat:kal ke us snigdh prakash mean rajalakshmi ki adbhut moorti dikhaee di. usaka snan aur pooja-path samapt ho chuka hai, ganga-ghat ke u diya pande ka lagaya hua saphed aur lal chandan ka tika usake mastak par hai, sharir par nayi lal banarasi sa di hai, poorv ki khi daki se aee huee tho di-si sunahari dhoop tirachhi hokar usake muanh ke ek taraph p d rahi hai, usake hothoan ke kone mean salajj kautuk ki dabi huee hansi hai, phir bhi kritrim krodh se siku di huee bhauanhoan ke niche chanchal aauankhoan ki drishti mano uchhalate hue aveg se jagamaga rahi hai- dekhakar aj bhi ashchary ki sima n rahi. ekaek usane kuchh hansakar kaha, "achchha batao to ki kal se itane gaur se kya dekh rahe ho?"

"tumhian batao n ki kya dekh raha hooan?"

rajalakshmi ne phir kuchh hansakar kaha, "shayad yah dekh rahe ho ki pooantoo mujhase adhik sundar hai ya nahian, ya kamalalata dekhane mean zyada achchhi lagati hai ki nahian- kyoan hai n yahi bat?"

"nahian. yah bat asani se kahi ja sakati hai ki roop ke lihaz se to koee tumhare pas tak nahian phatak sakata. isake lie itane gaur se dekhane ki avashyakata nahian."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "achchha, roop ki bat jane do. par gun mean?"

"gun mean? haan, yah manana hi hoga ki is vishay mean matabhed ki sambhavana hai."

"gunoan ke bare mean to suna hai ki vah kirtan kar sakati hai."

"haan, bahut badhiya."

"yah tumane kaise samajha ki badhiya hai."

"vah,- yah bhi nahian samajh sakata? vishuddh tal, lay, sur..."

rajalakshmi ne badha dekar poochha, "haan ji, tal kise kahate haian?"

"tal use kahate haian jo bachapan mean tumhari pith par p dati thi. yad nahian hai?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "kya kaha-yad nahian? khoob yad hai. kal khamakhvah bhiru kahakar tumhari nianda kar dali. kamalalata ne sirph tumhare udasin man ka hi pata paya hai, shayad tumhari virata ki kahani nahian suni?"

"nahian, kyoanki atmaprashansa khud nahian karani chahie. vah tum suna dena. par usaka gala mitha hai, isamean sandeh nahian."

"mujhe bhi sandeh nahian hai." kahane ke sath hi ekaek prachchhann kautuk se usake aauankhean chamak uthian. boli, "haan ji, tumhean vah gana yad hai? vahi jise pathashala ki chhutti hone par tum gate the aur ham sab mugdh hokar sunate the- vahi, "kahaan gaye pranoan ke pran he duryodhan re-e-e-e-e-"

hansi dabane ke lie usane aauanchal se muanh ko chhipa liya, maian bhi hans p da. rajalakshmi ne kaha, "par gana bahut bhavamay hai. tumhare muanh se sunakar manushyoan ki to kaun kahe, gay-bachh doan tak ki aauankhoan mean pani a jata tha."

ratan ke pairoan ki ahat sunaee di. avilamb hi daravaze ke pas kh de hokar usane kaha-"chay ka pani phir chadha diya hai maan, taiyar hone mean der nahian lagegi." yah kah kamare ke andar dakhil ho usane chay ki katori utha li.

rajalakshmi ne mujhase kaha, "ab deri mat karo, utho. is bar phir chay pheanke jane par ratan chidh jayega. vah apavyay sahan nahian kar sakata, kyoan thik hai n ratan?"

ratan bhi javab dena janata hai. bola, "maan, apaka bardasht nahian kar sakata. par baboo ke lie maian sab kuchh sahan kar sakata hooan." kahakar vah chay ki katori lekar chala gaya. krodh mean vah rajalakshmi ko 'ap' kahata tha, anyatha 'tum' kahakar hi pukarata tha.

rajalakshmi ne kaha- "ratan sachamuch tumako bahut pyar karata hai."

"mera bhi yahi khayal hai."

"haan. jab tum kashi se chale aye to usane jhag da karake mera kam chho d diya. maianne naraj hokar kaha, "ratan maianne tere sath jo salook kiya, usaka kya yahi pratiphal hai?" usane kaha, "maan, ratan namakaharam nahian hai. maian bhi barma ja raha hooan, baboo ki seva karake tumhara rrin chuka dooanga." tab usaka hath pak d liya aur apana aparadh svikar kar use shant kiya."

kuchh thaharakar kaha, "isake bad tumhayare vivah ka nimantran-patr aya."

badha dekar kaha, "jhooth n bolo. tumhari ray janane ke lie..."

is bar usane bhi badha dekar kaha, "haan ji haan, maloom hai. naraj hokar yadi vivah karane ko likh deti to kar lete n?"

"nahian."

"nahian kya. tum log sab kuchh kar sakate ho."

rajalakshmi kahane lagi- "ratan n jane kya samajha, keval yah dekha ki mere muanh ki or dekhakar usaki aauankhean chhalachhala aee haian. usake bad jab usake chitthi ka javab dak mean dalane ke lie diya, to bola, "maan, is chitthi ko dak mean n dal sakooanga, ise maian khud le jakar unake hath mean dooanga." maianne kaha, "vyarth mean rupaye kharch karane se kya fayada hoga bhiya?" ratan ne hathath aauankhean poanchhakar kaha, "maan, maian nahian janata ki kya hua hai, par tumhean dekhakar aisa maloom p data hai ki mano padma ka kinara kamazor ho gaya hai- isaka koee thik nahian ki pe d-pattoan aur makanoan ko lekar vah kab pani mean dhah jay. tumhari daya se mere ab koee kami nahian hai- yah rupaya tum dogi to bhi maian n le sakooanga. agar vishvanath baba ne sir uthakar dekh liya, to mere gaanv ki jhoanp di mean apani dasi ko tho da-sa prasad bhej dena, vah kritarth ho jayegi."

"naee-beta kitana sayana hai!"

sunakar rajalakshmi ne hoth dabakar sirph hans diya aur kaha- "achchha, ab deri mat karo, jao."

dopahar ko jab vah bhojan karane baithi to maianne kaha, "kal to mamooli sa di pahane huee thian, par aj sabere se hi yah banarasi sa di ka thath kyoan hai, batao bhala?"

"tumhian batao n?"

"maian nahian janata."

"zaroor janate ho. is sa di ko pahichan sakate ho?"

"haan, pahachan sakata hooan. maianne barma se kharidakar bheji thi."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "usi din maianne vichar kar liya tha ki apane jivan ke sabase mahanh din par ise pahanooangi- aur kabhi nahian."

"isalie aj pahani hai?"

"haan, isilie aj pahani hai."

hansakar kaha, "kintu vah to ho gaya. ab utar do." vah chup ho rahi. kaha, "suna hai ki tum abhi-abhi kalighat jaogi?"

"rajalakshmi ne ashchary ke sath kaha, "abhi? yah kaise ho sakata hai? tumhean khila-pilakar sulane ke bad hi to chhutti milegi."

"nahian, tab bhi nahian milegi. ratan kah raha tha ki tumhara khana-pina pray: band-sa ho gaya hai. sirph kal jara-sa khaya tha aur aj se phir upavas shuroo ho gaya hai. maloom hai, maianne kya sthir kiya hai? ab se tumhean k de shasan mean rakhooanga. ab tumhari jo khushi hogi, n kar sakogi."

rajalakshmi ne prasann mukh se kaha- "aisa ho to ji jaooan mahashayaji, tab khoob khaooangi-piooangi, kisi jhanjhat mean n p dana hoga."

"isilie aj tum kalighat bhi n ja sakogi."

rajalakshmi ne hath jo dakar kaha, "tumhare pairoan p dati hooan, sirph aj-bhar ke lie maph kar do, ayanda purane jamane ke navab-badashahoan ki kharidi huee lauandi ki tarah rahooangi- isase adhik tumase aur kuchh bhi n chahooangi."

"achchha, yah to batao ki itana vinay kyoan?"

"vinay nahian, yah saty hai. apani aukat samajhakar nahian chali, aur n tumhean manakar hi chali, isalie aparadh ke bad aparadh karate-karate sahas badh gaya hai. tumhare oopar ab us pahale vali lakshmi ka adhikar nahian hai- apane hi dosh se use kho baithi hooan."

dekha ki usaki aauankhoan mean aauansoo a gaye haian. kaha, "keval aj-bhar ke lie jane ki ajna de do mere raja, maian maan ki arati dekh aooan."

kaha, "aisa hi hai to kal chali jana. tumhian ne to kaha, ki kal sari rat jagakar meri seva karati rahian. aj tum bahut thaki huee ho."

"nahian, mujhe qatee thakavat nahian hai. keval aj hi nahian, kitani hi bar bimari ke maukoan par dekha hai ki lagatar ratoan ke bad rat jagane par bhi tumhari seva mean mujhe koee kasht pratit nahian hua. n maloom meri samast thakavat ko kaun mita deta hai. kitane din se devi-devataoan ko bhool gayi thi, kisi mean bhi man n laga saki. mere raja, aj mujhe n roko, jane ki ajna de do."

"to chalo, donoan ek sath chalean."

rajalakshmi ki donoan aauankhean anand se chamak uthian. boli, "to chalo, par man hi man devata ki avajna to nahian karoge?"

javab diya, "shapath to nahian le sakata, parantu tumhara rasta dekhate hue maian mandir ke dvar par hi kh da rahooanga. meri taraph se tum devata se var maang lena."

"batao, kya var maangooan?"

ann ka gras muanh mean dalakar sochane laga, par koee bhi kamana n soojhi.

"tumhian batao n lakshmi, mere lie tum kya maangogi?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "ayu maangooangi, svasthy maangooangi, aur yah maangooangi ki tum mere prati kathin ho sako jisase mujhe adhik prashray dekar ab phir mera sarvanash n karo. karane ko hi to baithe the!"

"lakshmi, dekho yah tumhare roothane ki bat hai."

"roothana to hai hi. tumhari vah chitthi kya kabhi bhool sakooangi?"

muanh latakakar maian chup ho raha.

usane apane hath se mera muanh oopar uthakar kaha, "par isalie yah bhi mai. nahian sah sakati. kintu tum kathor to ho nahian sakoge, tumhara aisa svabhav hi nahian hai. lekin yah kam ab se mujhe hi karana p dega, avahela karane se kam nahian chalega."

poochha, "kaun sa kam? aur bhi nirjal upavas?"

rajalakshmi ne hansakar kaha, "upavas se raja nahian milati varanh ahankar badh jata hai. ab mera path vah nahian hai."

"tab tumane kaun sa path thaharaya hai?"

"thik nahian kar saki hooan, khoj mean ghoom rahi hooan."

"achchha, sachamuch tumhean yah vishvas hota hai ki maian kabhi kathor ho sakata hooan?"

"hota hai ji, aur khoob hota hai."

"nahian, kabhi nahian hota, tum jhooth kahati ho."

rajalakshmi sir hilakar hansate hue boli, "achchha, jhooth hi sahi. kintu gusaeeanji, yahi to mere lie vipad ki bat haian tumhari kamalalata ne bhi kya khoob nam rakkha hai! dinabhar "haan ji," "o ji," "suno ji," karate-karate jan jati thi, ab se maian pukarooangi "naye gusaeean" kahakar."

"maje se."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "tab to shayad kabhi galati se mujhe kamalalata hi samajh loge- par isase bhi shanti hi milegi. kaho, thik hai n?"

hansakar kaha, "lakshmi, marane par bhi svabhav nahian badalata. ye hi badashahi jamane ki lauandi ki-si batean haian, ab tak to ve tumhean jallad ke hath sauanp dete!"

sunakar rajalakshmi bhi hans p di. kaha, "jallad ke hathoan mean khud hi apane ap ko sauanp diya hai."

"par tum sada se itani dusht rahi ho ki tum par shasan karane ki shakti kisi bhi jallad mean nahian hai."

rajalakshmi pratyuttar mean kuchh kahane ja hi rahi thi ki ekaek vidyut veg se uth baithi, "are, yah kya! doodh kahaan hai? mere sir ki kasam, dekho, uth n jana." aur yah kahati huee vah drut gati se bahar chali gayi.

ni:shvas chho dakar kaha, "kahaan yah, aur kahaan kamalalata!"

do minat bad hi hath mean doodh ki katori liye a gayi aur pattal ke pas rakhakar pankhe se hava karane baith gayi. kahane lagi, "ab tak maloom hota tha, mere man mean kahian pap hai. isi karan gangamati mean man nahian laga, aur kashi dham laut ayi. gurudev ko bulakar apane bal katava diye, gahane utar dale aur tapasya mean poornat: tallin ho gayi. socha, ab koee chinta nahian, svarg ki sone ki sidhi taiyar hoti hi hai!- ek aphat tum the, so bhi bida ho gaye. kintu us din se netroan ke pani ne kisi tarah rukana hi n chaha. isht mantr sab bhool gayi, devata arntadhyaran ho gaye, hriday bilkuhl shushk ho gaya. bhay hua ki yadi yahi dharm ki sadhana hai, to phir yah sab kya ho raha hai! ant mean kahian pagal to n ho jaooangi!"

maianne sir uthakar usake muanh ki or dekha aur kaha, "tapasya ke arambh mean devata bhay dikhaya karate haian. unake samane tike rahane par hi siddhi prapt hoti hai."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "siddhi ki mujhe avashyakata nahian, vah mujhe mil gayi hai."

"kahaan mili?"

"yahian. isi makan mean."

"vishvas nahian hota, praman do."

"praman dooangi tumhean? mujhe kya garaj p di hai?"

"kintu krit dasiyaan aisi batean nahian kiya karatian."

"dekho, krodh n dilao. is tarah bar-bar 'krit dasi' kahakar pukaroge, to achchha n hoga."

"achchha jao, tumhean mukt kar diya, ab se tum svadhin hueean."

rajalakshmi phir hansi. boli, "maian kitani svadhin hooan, so is dapha nas-nas mean anubhav kar rahi hooan. kal batean karate-karate jab tum so gaye, tab apane gale par se tumhara hath hatakar maian uth baithi. hath lagakar dekha, tumhara matha pasine se tar ho raha hai, aauanchal se pasina poanchhakar maian pankha lekar baith gayi. mand prakash ko tivr kar diya; us samay tumhare nidrabhibhoot chehare ki or dekhakar aauankhean hata hi n saki. isake pahale kyoan najar nahian aya ki yah itana sundar hai! ab tak kya andhi thi? phir socha, yadi yah pap hai to phir puny ki mujhe avashyakata nahian; aur yadi yah adharm hai to choolhe mean jay meri dharmmacharcha; jivan mean yadi yah mithya hai to jnan hone ke poorv hi kisake kahane se maianne inhean varan kiya tha?- are yah kya, pite kyoan nahian? sara doodh vaisa hi p da hai!"

"ab nahian piya jata."

"to kuchh phal le aooan?"

"nahian, vah bhi nahian."

"kintu kitane dubale ho gaye ho!"

"yadi dubala ho bhi gaya hooan, to bahut dinoan ki avahelana se. ek din mean hi sudharana chahogi, to vyarth mara jaooanga."

vedana se usaka chehara pila p d gaya, kaha, "ab galati n hogi jo dand mila hai use ab nahian bhoolooangi. yahi mera sabase b da labh hai." phir kuchh der maun rahakar dhire-dhire kahane lagi, "prat:kal hone par uth ayi. bhagy se kumbhakarn ki nidra jaldi nahian tootati varana lobhavash jaga hi to dala tha! tab daraban ko bhi sath lekar ganga nahane gayi, maloom p da, mano mata ne samast tap dho dala hai. ghar akar jab pooja karane baithi tab jana ki keval tum akele hi nahian laut aye ho, sath hi a gaya hai meri pooja ka mantr, a gaye haian mere isht devata aur gurudev, aur a gaye haian mere shravan ke megh. aj bhi meri aauankhoan se jal bahane laga, kintu ve ashru hriday ko masosakar nicho de hue nahian the, balki vah to anand se um de hue jharane ki dhara thi jisane mujhe sab or se vibhor kar diya. jaooan, kuchh phal le aooan? pas baithakar apane hath se tarashakar tumhean phal khilaye hue bahut din ho gaye. jaooan, kyoan?"

"achchha jao."

rajalakshmi vaisi hi drut gati se chali gayi. maianne ek bar phir saans chho dakar kaha, "kahaan yah aur kahaan kamalalata!"

n jane kisane janm ke samay hajaroan namoan mean se chunakar isaka rajalakshmi nam rakkha tha!

donoan jis samay kalighat se laute us samay rat ke nau baj gaye the. rajalakshmi snan kar aur kap de badalakar sahaj bhav se pas a baithi. maianne kaha, "rajasi poshak utar gayi. chalo, jan bachi."

rajalakshmi ne sir hilakar kaha, "haan, vah mere lie rajasi poshak hi hai, kyoanki mere raja ne jo di hai. jab marooan tab vahi mujhe pahana dene ke lie kahana."

"aisa hi hoga. par tum kya aj sara din svapn dekhane mean hi bita dogi? ab kuchh kha lo."

"khati hooan."

"maian ratan se kah deta hooan ki tumhara khana rasoie ke hath yahian bhijava de."

"yahian? jaisi tumhari ichchha. lekin maian tumhare samane baithakar kaise khaooangi? kabhi khate dekha hai?"

"dekha to nahian hai, par dekhane mean buraee kya hai?"

"bhala aisa bhi kahian hota hai! striyoan ka rakshasi khana tum logoan ko ham dekhane hi kyoan deangi?"

"dekho lakshmi, tumhari yah chal aj nahian chalegi. tumhean akaran hi upavas nahian karane dooanga. khaogi nahian to maian tumase nahian bolooanga."

"n bolana."

"maian bhi nahian khaooanga."

rajalakshmi hans p di, boli, "is bar jit gaye, kyoanki yah maian n sah sakooangi."

rasoiya bhojan de gaya. phal, phool, mishtann. nam-matr bhojan kar vah boli, "ratan ne shikayat ki hai ki maian khati nahian hooan, parantu tum hi batao, maian khati kyoankar? hare hue mukaddame ki apil karane kalakatte aee thi. ratan nity tumhare yahaan se vapis ata tha par bhay ke mare kuchh poochhane ka sahas hi mera n hota tha, kyoanki, vah kahian yah n kah de ki mulakat huee thi par baboo aye nahian. jo durvyavahar kiya hai, usake karan mere pas to kahane ke lie kuchh hai nahian."

"kahane ki avashyakata bhi nahian hai. us samay svayan ghar akar, jis prakar kaanchapoka* tilachatte ko pak d le jata hai, tum bhi le jatian."

"tilachatta kaun-tum?"

"yahi to samajhata hooan, aisa nirih jiv sansar mean aur kaun hai?"

ek kshan chup rahakar rajalakshmi boli, "kintu to bhi, man hi man maian jitana tumase darati hooan utana aur kisi se nahian."

"yah parihas hai. par isaka karan poochh sakata hooan?"

rajalakshmi phir kuchh kshan tak meri or dekhati rahi. boli, "karan yah hai ki maian tumhean bhalibhaanti pahachanati hooan. maian janati hooan ki striyoan ke prati tumhari sachamuch ki asakti jara bhi nahian hai, jo kuchh hai vah keval dikhane ka shishtachar hai. sansar mean kisi ke prati bhi tumhean moh nahian hai. yatharth prayojan bhi tumhean usaka nahian hai. tumhare 'na' kah dene par kis prakar tumhean lautaooangi?"

"lakshmi, isamean tho di-si bhool ho gayi hai. prithvi ki ek vastu mean aj bhi mera moh hai, aur vah ho tum. keval yahian par 'na' nahian kaha jata. tumane ab tak shrikant ki yahi bat n jani ki keval isake lie vah duniya ki sab vastuoan ko tyag sakata hai."

"hath dho aooan," kahakar rajalakshmi jaldi se uthakar chali gayi.

doosare din, aur dinant ke sab kam nibatakar, rajalakshmi mere pas a baithi. kahane lagi, "kamalalata ki kahani sunooangi, sunao." jo kuchh janata tha, sab suna diya, keval apane sambandh mean kuchh kuchh chho d diya, kyoan ki usase galataphahami hone ki sambhavana thi.

man lagakar adyopant sari batean sunakar usane dhire se kaha, "yatin ki mrityu hi use sabase adhik chubhi hai, usi ke dosh se vah mara gaya."

"usaka kya dosh?"

"dosh kaise nahian hai? apana kalank chhupane ke lie usi se atmahatya karane mean sahayata maangi thi. us din to yatin svikar nahian kar saka, kintu ek din apana kalank chhipane ke lie use bhi vahi marg sabase pahale najar aya. aisa hi hota hai, isilie pap mean sahayata ke lie kisi mitr ko nahian bulana chahie. isase ek ka prayashchit doosare ke gale p d jata hai. vah svayan to bach gayi, kintu usake sneh ka dhan mar gaya."

"yukti kuchh samay mean nahian aee, lakshmi."

"tum kaise samajhoge? samajha hai kamalalata ne aur tumhari rajalakshmi ne."

"o:-aisa hai!"

"nahian to kya. bhala kaho to hamara jivan kitana-sa hai, usaka kya mooly hai, jab ham dekhati haian tumhari taraph...."

"kintu kal tumane hi to kaha tha ki mere man ki sab kalikh saf ho gayi aur ab koee glani nahian hai, to vah kya jhooth tha?"

"jhooth hi to tha. kalikh to marane par hi puchhegi, usase pahale nahian. marana bhi chaha tha, keval tumhare hi karan n mar saki."

× hare rang ka ek patianga

"sab maloom hai, par tum yadi ise lekar barambar du:kh dogi to maian is tarah bhag jaooanga ki phir dhooandhane par bhi n paogi."

rajalakshmi ne bhayabhit hokar mera hath pak d liya aur bilkural chhati ke pas khisak ayi. boli, "ab aisi bat kabhi muanh par bhi nahian lana. tum sab kuchh kar sakate ho, tumhari nishthurata kahian bhi badha nahian manati."

"tab kaho ki ab aisi bat n kahogi?"

"nahian kahooangi."

"bolo, sochooangi bhi nahian."

"tum bhi kaho ki ab mujhe chho dakar kabhi nahian jaoge."

"maian to kabhi gaya nahian lakshmi, aur jab kabhi gaya hooan tab keval isilie ki tumane mujhe nahian chaha."

"vah tumhari lakshmi nahian, koee aur hogi."

"us kisi aur se hi to aj bhay lagata hai."

"nahian, ab usase mat daro, vah rakshasi mar chuki hai."

yah kahakar usane mere usi hath ko zor se pak d liya aur chupachap baithi rahi.

paanch-chhah minat tak isi prakar baithe rahane ke pashchath usane doosari charcha chhe d di, kaha, "tum kya sachamuch barma jaoge?"

"haan, sachamuch hi jaooanga."

"jakar kya karoge- naukari? par ham log to sirph do hi prani haian- ham logoan ki avashyakataean hi kitani haian?"

"kintu un kitani ka bhi to prabandh karana hoga?"

"vah bhagavan de deange. par tum naukari nahian karane paoge, yah tumhare svabhav ke anukool nahian hai."

"nahian kar sakooanga to vapis chala aooanga."

"janati hooan, vapis to ana hi p dega, keval mujhako kasht dene ke lie hathapoorvak itani door le jana chahate ho."

"chaho to kasht nahian bhi karo."

rajalakshmi ne ek kruddh kataksh pheankakar kaha, "dekho, chalaki mat karo!"

maianne kaha, "chalaki nahian karata, chalane se tumhean vastav mean kasht hoga. bhojan pakana, bartan maanjana, ghar-bar saf karana, bichhaune bichhana...."

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "tab daee-naukar kya kareange?"

"daee-naukar kahaan? unake lie rupaye kahaan haian?"

rajalakshmi ne kaha, "achchha n sahi. tum chahe kitana hi bhay dikhao, lekin maian to chalooangi hi."

"to chalo. keval maian aur tum, kam ke mare n milega jhag da karane ka avasar aur n milegi pooja tatha upavas karane ki phursat."

"n milane do. maian kya kam se darati hooan?"

"sach hai; darati nahian ho, par tum kar n sakogi. do din bad hi vapis ane ke lie aphat machana shuroo kar dogi."

"isamean bhi kya koee dar hai? sath lekar jaooangi tatha sath hi vapis le aooangi. kam se kam tumhean chho dakar to n ana hoga." kahakar vah ek kshan ke lie kuchh sochane lagi, phir boli, "haan, yah thik rahega. ek chhote se ghar mean keval ham aur tum raheange, n koee das hoga n dasi. jo khane ko dooangi vahi khaoge, jo pahanane ko dooangi vahi pahanoge. nahian? tum dekhana, meri ane ki shayad ichchha hi n hogi."

sahasa vah meri godi mean apana sir rakhakar let gayi aur bahut der tak aauankhean band kar nistabdh p di rahi.

"kya soch rahi ho?"

rajalakshmi netr kholakar kianchith muskaraee aur boli, "ham log kab chaleange?"

"is makan ki kuchh vyavastha kar do, phir jis din chaho prasthan kar do."

usane sir hilakar svikriti jataee aur phir netr mooand liye.

"phir kya soch rahi ho?"

rajalakshmi ne takate hue kaha, "soch rahi hooan ki ek bar muraripur nahian jaoge?"

"haan, videsh jane se poorv ek bar unhean mil ane ka vachan to diya tha."

"to chalo, kal hi donoan chalean."

"tum bhi chalogi?"

"kyoan, isamean dar kya hai? tumhean chahati hai kamalalata aur use chahate haian hamare gauhar dada. yah hua khoob hai!"

"yah sab tumase kisane kaha?"

"tumhian ne."

"n, maianne nahian kaha."

"haan, tumhian ne kaha hai, keval tumhean yah khayal nahian hai ki kab kaha hai." sunakar sankoch se vyakul ho utha. kaha, "khair, jo kuchh bhi ho, tumhara vahaan jana uchit nahian hai."

"kyoan nahian hai?"

"us bechari ka majak karake tum use tang kar dalogi."

rajalakshmi ki bhrikuti tan gayi, usane krodhit svar mean kaha, "ab tak tumhean yahi parichay mila hai? maian kya use isilie lajjit karooangi ki vah tumase prem karati hai? tumase prem karana kya aparadh hai? maian bhi to stri hooan. yah bhi to ho sakata hai ki jane par maian bhi use chahane lag jaooan!"

"tumhare lie kuchh bhi asambhav nahian hai lakshmi. chalo, tum bhi chalo."

"haan, chalo, kal savere ki ga di se hi ham donoan chal dean. tum koee chinta n karo, is jivan mean maian tumhean kabhi du:khi n karooangi."

itana kahakar vah ek tarah vimana-si ho gayi. aauankhean band ho gayian, saans rukane laga, sahasa n jane vah kitani door chali gayi.

bhayabhit hokar use hilakar poochha, "yah kya?"

rajalakshmi aauankhean kholakar kianchith muskaraee aur boli, "kahaan, kuchh bhi to nahian!"

aj usaki yah hansi bhi n jane mujhe kaisi lagi!