पक्षी और दीमक -गजानन माधव मुक्तिबोध

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

bahar chilachilati huee dopahar hai lekin is kamare mean thanda maddhim ujala hai. yah ujala is band khi daki ki dararoan se ata hai. yah ek chau di muanderavali b di khi daki hai, jisake bahar ki taraph, divar se lag kar, kaantedar beant ki hari-ghani jha diyaan haian. inake oopar ek jangali bel chadh kar phail gee hai aur usane asamani rang ke gilas jaise apane phool pradarshit kar rakhe haian. door se dekhanevaloan ko lagega ki ve us bel ke phool nahian, varanh beant ki jha diyoan ke apane phool haian.

kiantu isase bhi ashh‍charyajanak bat yah hai ki us lata ne apani ghumavadar chal se n keval beant ki daloan ko, unake kaantoan se bachate hue, jak d rakha hai, varanh usake kantak-romoanvale path‍toan ke ek-ek hare phite ko samet kar, kas kar, unaki ek rash‍si-si bana dali hai; aur us poori jha di par apane phool bikharate-chhitakate hue, un sauandary-pratikoan ko sooraj aur chaand ke samane kar diya hai.

lekin, is khi daki ko mujhe akasar band rakhana p data hai. chhath‍tisagadh ke is ilake mean, mausam-bemausam aandhinuma havaean chalati haian. unh‍hoanne meri khi daki ke band palh‍loan ko dhila kar dala hai. khi daki band rakhane ka ek karan yah bhi hai ki bahar divar se lag kar kh di huee hari-ghani jha diyoan ke bhitar jo chhipe hue, gahare, hare-saanvale aantaral haian, unamean pakshi rahate haian aur aande dete haian. vahaan se kabhi-kabhi unaki avajean, rat-birat, ekaek sunaee deti haian. ve tivr bhay ki romaanchak chith‍karean haian kh‍yoanki vahaan apane shikar ki khoj mean ek bhujang ata rahata hai. vah, shayad un taraph ki tamam jha diyoan ke bhitar reangata phirata hai.

ek rat, isi khi daki mean se ek bhujang mere kamare mean bhi aya. vah lagabhag tin-phit lanba ajagar tha. khoob kha-pi kar ke, sush‍t ho kar, vah khi daki ke pas, meri saikil par leta hua tha. usaka muanh 'kairiyar' par, jish‍m ki lapet mean, chhipa hua tha aur pooanchh chamakadar 'haiandil' se lipati huee thi. 'kairiyar' se le kar 'haiandil' tak ki sari lanbaee ko usane apane deh-valayoan se kas liya tha. usaki vah kali-lanbi-chikani deh atank uth‍panh‍n karati thi.

hamane b di mushkil se usake muanh ko shinakhh‍t kiya. aur phir ekaek 'phinail' se us par hamala karake use behosh kar dala. romaanchapoorn the hamare ve vh‍yakul akraman! g‍hare bhay ki sanasani mean apani kayarata ka bodh karate hue, ham log, nirdayatapoorvak, usaki chhatapatati de‍h ko lathiyoan se mare ja rahe the.

use mara hua jan, ham usaka agni-sansh‍kar karane ge. mitti ke tel ki pili-gerooee ooanchi lapak uthate hue, kandoan ki ag mean p da hua vah dhila nag-sharir, apani bachi-khuchi chetana samet kar, itani jor-se oopar uchhala ki ghera dal kar kh de hue ham log hairat mean a kar, ek kadam pichhe hat ge. usake bad rat-bhar, saanp ki hi charcha hoti rahi.

isi khi daki se lagabhag chhah gaj door, beant ki jha diyoan ke us par, ek talab hai... b da bhari talab, asaman ka lanba-chau da aeena, jo tharatharate hue mush‍karata hai. aur usaki tharatharahat par kiranean nachati rahati haian.

mere kamare mean jo prakash ata hai, vah in laharoan par nachati huee kiranoan ka uchhal kar aya hua prakash hai. khi daki ki lanbi dararoan mean se gujar kar vah prakash, samane ki divar par chau di muander ke niche suandar jhalamalati huee akritiyaan banata hai.

meri drishti us prakash-kanp ki or lagi huee hai. ek kshan mean usaki anaginat laharean nache ja rahi haian, nache ja rahi haian. kitana uddam, kitana tivr veg hai un jhilamilati laharoan mean. maian mugh‍dh hooan ki bahar ke laharate talab ne kiranoan ki sahayata se apane kanpoan ki pratichh‍chhavi meri divar par aank di hai.

kash, aisi bhi koee mashin hoti jo doosaroan ke hridayakanpanoan ko, unaki manasik halachaloan ko, mere man ke parade par chitr roop mean upasthit kar sakati.

udaharanat:, mere samane isi palang par, vah jo nari-moorti baithi hai, usake vh‍yaktith‍v ke rahash‍y ko maian janana chahata hooan, vaise, usake bare mean jitani gahari janakari mujhe hai, shayad aur kisi ko nahian.

is dhuandhale aandhere kamare mean vah mujhe suandar dikhaee de rahi hai. divar par gire hue prath‍yavartit prakash ka pun: prath‍yavartit prakash, nili choodiyoanvale hathoan mean thame hue upanh‍yas ke panh‍noan par, dhh‍yanamagh‍n kapoloan par aur asamani aanchal par phaila hua hai. yadyapi is samay ham donoan alag-alag duniya mean (vah upanh‍yas ke jagath mean aur maian apane khayaloan ke rash‍toan par) ghoom rahe haian, phir bhi is akele dhuandhule kamare mean gahan sahachary ke sanbandh-sootr t dap rahe haian aur mahasoos kie ja rahe haian.

bavajood isake, yah kahana hi hoga ki mujhe isamean 'romaans' nahian dikhata. mere sir ka dahina hish‍sa saphed ho chuka hai. ab to maian keval ashray ka abhilashi hooan, ooshh‍mapoorn ashray ka...

phir bhi mujhe shanka hai. yauvan ke moh-sh‍vaph‍n uddam ath‍mavishh‍vas ab mujhamean nahian ho sakata. ek vayash‍k purush ka avivahita vayash‍ka sh‍tri se prem bhi ajib hota hai. usamean udbuddh ichh‍chha ke agrah ke sahth-sath jo anubhavapoorn jnan ka prakash hota hai, vah pal-pal par shanka aur sandeh ko uth‍panh‍n karata hai.

shh‍yamala ke bare mean mujhe shanka rahati hai. vah thos batoan ki barikiyoan ka b da adar karati hai. vah vh‍yavahar ki kasauti par manushh‍y ko parakhati hai. vah mujhe akharata hai. usamean mujhe ek thanda patharilapan maloom hota hai. gile-sapanile rangoan ka shh‍yamala mean sachamuch abhav hai.

thanda patharilapan uchit hai, ya anuchit, yah‍ maian nahian janata. kiantu jab auchith‍y ke sare praman, unaka sara vash‍tu-sath‍y p aaulishadar tin-sa chamachama uthata hai, to mujhe lagata hai - bure phanse in falatoo ki achh‍chhaiyoan mean, doosari taraph mujhe apane bhitar hi koee gahari kami mahasoos hoti hai aur khatakane lagati hai.

aisi sthiti mean maian 'haan' aur 'na' ke bich mean rah kar, khamosh, 'ji haan' ki soorat paida kar deta hooan. darata sirph is bat se hooan ki kahian yah 'ji haan' 'ji hujoor' n ban jae. maian atishay shaanti-priy vh‍yakti hooan. apani shaanti bhang n ho, isaka bahut khayal rakhata hooan. n jhag da karana chahata hooan, n maian kisi jhag de mean phansana chahata...

upanh‍yas pheank kar shh‍yamala ne donoan hath ooanche karake jara-si aang daee li. maian usaki roop-mudra par phir se mugh‍dh hona hi chahata tha ki usane ek betuka prash‍tav samane rakh diya. kahane lagi, 'chalo, bahar ghoomane chalean.'

meri aankhoan ke samane bahar ki chilachilati saphedi aur bhayanak garami chamak uthi. khas ke paradoan ke pichhe, chhat ke pankhoan ke niche, alasate log yad ae. bhadrata ki kalh‍pana aur suvidha ke bhav mujhe mana karane lage. shh‍yamala ke jhakh‍kipan ka ek praman aur mila.

usane mujhe ek kshan aankhoan se taula aur phaisale ke dhang se kaha, 'khair, maian to jati hooan. dekh kar chali jaooangi... bata dooangi.'

lekin chand minatoan bad, maianne apane ko chupachap usake pichhe chalate hue paya. tab dil mean ek ajib jhol mahasoos ho raha tha. dimag ke bhitar siku dan-si p d gee thi. pataloon bhi dhila-dhala lag raha tha, kamij ke 'k aaular' bhi ulh‍te-sidhe rahean hoange. bal an-sanvare the hi. pairoan ko kisi-n-kisi tarah age dhakele ja raha tha.

lekin yah sirph dupahar ke garam tiroan ke karan tha, ya shh‍yamala ke karan, yah kahana mushkil hai.

usane pichhe mu d kar meri taraph dekha aur dilasa deti huee avaj mean kaha, 'sh‍kool ka maidan jh‍yada door nahian hai.'

vah mere age-age chal rahi thi, lekin mera dhh‍yan usake pairoan aur taluoan ke pichhale hish‍se ki taraph hi tha. usaki taang, jo bivaiyoan-bhari aur dhool-bhari thi, age badhane mean, uchakati huee chaph‍pal par chatachatati thi. jahir tha ki ye pair dhool-bhari s dakoan par ghoomane ke adi haian.

yah khayal ate hi, usi khayal se lage hue n maloom kin dhagoan se ho kar, maian shh‍yamala se khud ko kuchh kam, kuchh hin pane laga; aur isaki gh‍lani se ubarane ke lie, maian us chalati huee akriti ke sath, usake barabar ho liya. vah kahane lagi, 'yad hai sham ko baithak hai. abhi chal kar n dekhate to kab dekhate. aur sabake samane sabit ho jata ki tum khud kuchh karate nahian. sirph jaban ki kaianchi chalati hai.'

ab shh‍yamala ko kaun batae ki n maian is bhari dopahar mean sh‍kool ka maidan dekhane jata aur n sham ko baithak mean hi. sanbhav tha ki 'koram' poora n hone ke karan baithak hi sh‍thagit ho jati. lekin shh‍yamala ko yah kaun batae ki hamare alash‍y mean bhi ek chhipi huee, jani-anajani yojana rahati hai. vartaman suchalan ka dayith‍v jin par hai, ve khud sanchalan-mandal ki baithak nahian hone dena chahate. agar shh‍yamala se kahooan to poochhegi, 'kh‍yoan!'

phir maian javab dooanga. maian usaki aankhoan se girana nahian chahata, usaki najar mean aur-aur chadhana chahata hooan. premi jo hooan; apane vh‍yaktith‍v ka suandaratam chitr upasthit karane ki lalasa bhi to rahati hai.

vaise bhi, dhoop itani tej thi ki bat karane ya bat badhane ki tabiyat nahian ho rahi thi.

meri aankhean samane ke pipal ke pe d ki taraph geean, jisaki ek dal talab ke oopar, bahut ooanchaee par, door tak chali gee thi. usake sire par ek b da-sa bhoora pakshi baitha hua tha. use maianne chil samajha. lagata tha ki vah machhaliyoan ke shikar ki tak lagae baitha hai.

lekin usi shakha ki bilakul viruddh disha mean, jo doosari dalean ooanchi ho kar tirachhi aur baanki-tedhi ho gee haian, un par jhuand ke jhuand kauve kaanv-kaanv kar rahe haian, mano ve chil ki shikayat kar rahe hoan aur uch‍k-uchak kar, phudak-phudak kar, machhali ki tak mean baithe us pakshi ke viruddh prachar kie ja rahe hoan.

- ki itane mean mujhe us maidani-asamani chamakile khule-khulepan mean ekaek, samane dikhaee deta hai - saanvale nate kad par bhagave rang ki khaddar ka bandinuma kurata, lagabhag chauras mota cheh‍ra, jisake dahine gal par ek b da-sa masa hai, aur us mase mean barik bal nikale hue.

ji dhans jata hai us soorat ko dekh kar. vah mera neta hai, sansh‍tha ka sarvesarva hai. usaki khayali tash‍vir dekhate hi mujhe achanak doosare netaoan ki aur sachivalay ke us aandhere galiyare ki yad ati hai, jahaan maianne is nate-mote bhagave khaddar-kuratevale ko pahale-pahale dekha tha.

un aandhere galiyaroan mean se maian kee-kee bar gujara huan aur vahaan kisi mo d par kisi kone mean ikattha hue, aisi hi sansh‍thaoan ke sanchalakoan ke utare hue cheharoan ko dekha hai. bavajood shreshh‍th poshak aur 'apatoodet' bhes ke sanvalaya hua garv, bebas ganbhirata, adhir udasi aur thakan unake vh‍yaktith‍v par rakh-si malati hai. kh‍yoan?

isalie ki mali sal ki akhiri tarikh ko ab sirph do ya tin din bache haian. sarakari 'graant' abhi manjoor nahian ho pa rahi hai, kagajat abhi vith‍t-vibhag mean hi atake p de haian. aphisoan ke bahar, galiyare ke door kisi kone mean, peshabaghar ke pas, ya hotaloan ke konoan mean kh‍larkoan ki mutthiyaan garam ki ja rahian haian, taki 'graant' manjoor ho aur jalh‍di mil jae.

aisi hi kisi jagah par maianne is bhagave-khaddar kuratevale ko jor-jor se aangareji bolate hue dekha tha. aur, tabhi maianne usake tej mijaj aur phitarati dimag ka aandaja lagaya tha.

idhar, bhari dopahar mean shh‍yamala ka parshh‍v-sangit chal hi raha hai, maian usaka koee matalab nahian nikal pata. lekin n maloom kaise, mera man usaki batoan se kuchh sanket grahan kar, apane hi rash‍te par chalata rahata hai. isi bich usake ek vakh‍y se maian chauank p da, 'isase achh‍chha hai ki tum ish‍tipha de do. agar kam nahian kar sakate to gaddi kh‍yoan a da rakhi hai.'

isi bat ko kee bar maianne apane se bhi poochha tha. lekin aj usake muanh se thik usi bat ko sun kar mujhe dhakh‍ka-sa laga. aur mera man kahaan ka kahaan chala gaya.

ek din ki bat! mera saja hua kamara! chay ki chuskiyaan! kahakahe! ek pile rang ke tikone cheharevala masakhara, oolajalool shakhh‍s! bagair yah soche ki jisaki vah nianda kar raha hai, vah mera kripalu mitr aur sahayak hai, vah shakhh‍s bat badhata ja raha hai.

maian sh‍tabh‍dh! kiantu, kan sun rahe haian. hare hue adami-jaisi meri soorat, aur maian!

vah kahata ja raha hai, 'sookshh‍madarshi yantr? sookshh‍madarshi yantr kahaan haian?'

'haian to. ye haian. dekhie.' kh‍lark kah‍ta hai. rajish‍tar batata hai. sab kahate haian-haian, haian. ye haian. lekin, kahaan haian? yah to sab likhit roop mean haian, vash‍tu-roop mean kahaan haian.

ve kh‍ride hi nahian ge! jhoothi rasid likhane ka kamishan vikreta ko, shesh rakam jeb mean. sarakar se poori rakam vasool!

kisi khas jaanch ke en mauke par‍ kisi doosare sh‍har ki...sansh‍tha se udhar le kar, sookshh‍madarshi yantr hajir! sab chijean maujood haian. aie, dekh jaie. ji haan, ye to haian samane. lekin jaanch khath‍m hone par sab gayab, sab aantardhan. kaisa jadoo hai. kharche ka aankada khoob phula kar rakhie. sarakar ke pas kagajat bhej dijie. khas maukoan par aauphisoan ke dhuandhale galiyaroan aur hotaloan ke konoan mean mutthiyaan garam kijie. sarakari 'graant' manjoor! aur usaka n jane kitana hish‍sa, b de hi tarike se, sanchalakoan ki jeb mean! ji!'

bhari dopah‍r mean maian age badha ja raha hooan. kanoan mean ye avajoan gooanjati ja rahi haian. maian vh‍yakul ho uthata hooan. shh‍yamala ka parshh‍v-sangit chal raha hai. mujhe jabaradash‍t ph‍yas lagati hai! pani, pani!

-ki itane mean ekake vishh‍vavidyalay ke push‍takalay ki ooanche roman stanbhoanvali imarat samane a jati hai. tisara pahar! halaki dhoop! imarat ki path‍thar-sidhiyaan, lanbi, motiya!

sidhiyoan se lag kar, abharak-mili lal mitti ke chamachamate rash‍te par suandar kali 'shevaralet'.

bhagave khaddar-kurate vale ki 'shevaralet', jisake jara pichhe maian kh da hooan, aur dekh raha hooan - yoan hi, kar ka nanbar - ki itane mean usake chikane kale hish‍se mean, jo aeene-sa chamakadar hai, soorat dikhaee deti hai.

bhayanak hai vah soorat! sare anupat big d ge haian. nak dedh gaj lanbi aur kitani moti ho gee hai. chehara behad lanba aur siku d gaya hai. aankhean khaddedar. kan nadarad. bhoot-jaisa aprakritik roop. maian apane chehare ki us vidroopata ko, mugh‍dhabhav se, kutoohal se aur ashh‍chary se dekh raha hooan, ekatak.

ki itane mean maian do kadam ek or hat jata hooan; aur pata hooan ki motar ke us kale chamakadar aine mean mere gal, thuddi, nam, kan sab chau de ho ge haian, ekadam chau de. lanbaee lagabhag nadarad. maian dekhata hi rahata hooan, dekhata hi rahata hooan ki itane mean dil ke kisi kone mean kee aandhiyari gatar ekadam phoot nikalati hai. vah gatar hai ath‍malochan, du:kh aur gh‍lani ki.

aur, sahasa muanh se hay nikal p dati hai. us bhagave khaddar-kurate vale se mera chhutakara kab hoga, kab hoga.

aur, tab lagata hai ki is sare jal mean, buraee ki is anek chakroanvali daith‍yakar mashin mean, n jane kab se maian phansa p da hooan. pair bhianch ge haian, pasaliyaan choor ho gee haian, chikh nikal nahian pati, avaj halak mean phans kar rah gee hai.

ki isi bich achanak ek najara dikhaee deta hai. roman stanbhoanvali vishh‍vavidyalay ke push‍takalay ki ooanchi, lanbi, motiya sidhiyoan par se utar rahi hai ek ath‍m-vishh‍vasapoorn gauravamay narimoorti.

vah kiranili mush‍kan meri or pheankati-si dikhaee deti hai. maian is sthiti mean nahian hooan ki usaka sh‍vagat kar sakooan. maian badahavas ho uthata hooan.

vah dhime-dhime mere pas ati hai. abhh‍yarthanapoorn mush‍karahat ke sath kahati hai, 'padhi hai apane yah push‍tak.'

kali jilh‍d par sunahale roman aksharoan mean likha hai, 'aee vil nat resh‍t.'

maian saph jhooth bol jata hooan, 'haan padhi hai, bahut pahale.'

lekin mujhe mahasoos hota hai ki mere chehare par se teliya pasina nikal raha hai. maian bar-bar apana muanh poanchhata hooan roomal se. baloan ke niche lalat-haan, lalat, (yah shabh‍d mujhe achh‍chha lagata hai) ko rag d kar saph karata hooan.

aur, phir door ek pe d ke niche, idhar ate hue, bhagave khaddar-kuratevale ki akriti ko dekh kar shh‍yamala se kahata hooan, 'achh‍chha, mai jara udhar ja raha hooan. phir bheant hogi.' aur sabhh‍yata ke takaje se maian usake lie namash‍kar ke roop mean mush‍karane ki cheshh‍ta karata hooan.

pe d.

ajib pe d hai, (yahaan rooka ja sakata hai), bahut purana pe d hai, jisaki j dean ukh d kar bich mean se toot gee haian aur sabit hai, unake as-pas ki mitti khisak gee hai. isalie ve ubhar kar aianthi huee-si lagati haian. pe d kh‍ya hai, lagabhag thooanth hai. usaki shakhaean kat dali gee haian.

lekin, kati huee baanhoanvale us pe d mean se nee dalean nikal kar hava mean khel rahi haian! un daloan mean komal-komal hari-hari pattiyaan jhalar-si dikhaee deti haian. pe d ke mote tane mean se jagah-jagah taja goand nikal raha hai. goand ki saanvali kath‍thee gathanean maje mean dekhi ja sakati haian.

ajib pe d hai, ajib! (shayad, yah achh‍chhaee ka pe d hai) isalie ki ek din sham ki motiya-gulabi abha mean maianne ek yuvak‍-yuvati ko is pe d ke tale ooanchi uthi huee, ubhari huee, j d par aram se baithe hue paya tha. sanbhavat: ve apane atyant ath‍miy kshanoan mean doobe hue the.

mujhe dekh kar yuvak ne adarapoorvak namash‍kar kiya. l daki ne bhi mujhe dekha aur jheanp gee. halake jhatake se usane apana muanh doosari or kar liya. lekin usaki jheanpati huee lalaee meri najaroan se n bach saki.

is prem-mugh‍dh ko dekh kar maian bhi ek vichitr anand mean doob gaya. unh‍‍hean nirapad karane ke lie jalh‍di-jalh‍di pair badhata hua maian vahaan se nau-do gh‍yarah ho gaya.

yah pichhali garmiyoan ki manohar saanjh ki bat hai. lekin aj is bhari dopahari mean shh‍yamala ke sath pal-bhar us pe d ke tale baithane ko meri bhi tabiyat huee. bahut hi chhoti aur bholi ichh‍chha hai yah.

lekin mujhe laga ki shayad shh‍yamala mere sujhav ko nahian manegi. sh‍kool-maidan pahuanchane ki use jalh‍di jo hai. kahane ki meri himh‍mat hi nahian huee.

lekin doosare kshan, ap-hi-ap, mere pair us or badhane lage. aur thik usi jagah maian bhi ja kar baith gaya, jahaan ek sal pahale vah yugh‍m baitha tha. dekhata kh‍ya hooan ki shh‍yamala bhi a kar baith gee hai.

tab vah kah rahi thi, 'sachamuch b di garam dopahar hai.'

samane maidan-hi-maidan haian, bhoore matamaile! un par siras aur sisam ke chhayadar viram-chihr kh de haian. maian lubh‍dh aur mugh‍dh ho kar unaki ghani-gahari chhayaean dekhata rahata hooan...

kh‍yoanki... kh‍yoanki mera yah pe d, y‍h achh‍chhaee ka pe d chhaya pradan nahian kar sakata, ashray pradan nahian kar sakata, (kh‍yoanki vah jagah-jagah kata gaya hai) vah to kati shakhaoan ki dooriyoan aur aantaraloan mean se keval tivr aur kashh‍taprad prakash ko hi marg de sakata hai.

lekin maidanoan ke is chilachilate apar vish‍tar mean ek pe d ke niche, akelepan mean, shh‍yamala ke sath rahane ki yah jo meri sthiti hai, usaka achanak mujhe gahara bodh hua. laga ki shh‍yamala meri hai, aur vah bhi isi bhaanti chilamilate garam tath‍voan se bani huee nari-moorti hai. garam baphati huee mitti-sa chilamilata hua usamean apanapan hai.

to kh‍ya aj hi, agali anaginat garam dopahariyoan ke pahale aj hi, agale kadam uthae jane ke pahale, isi samay, haan, isi samay, usake samane apane din ki gahari chhipi huee tahean aur satahean khol kar rakh dooan... ki jisase age chal kar use galataphahami mean rakhane, use dhokhe mean rakhane ka aparadhi n banooan.

ki itane mean meri aankhoan ke samane, phir usi bhagave khaddar-kuratevale ki tash‍vir chamak uthi. maian vh‍yakul ho gaya aur usase chhutakara chahane laga.

to phir ath‍m-sh‍vikar kaise karooan, kahaan se shuroo karooan!

lekin kh‍ya vah meri batean samajh sakegi? kisi tani huee rash‍si par vajan sadhate hue chalane ka, 'haan', aur 'na' ke bich mean rah kar jiandagi ki ulajhanoan mean phansane ka tajurba use kahaan hai!

hatao, kaun kahe.

lekin yah sh‍tri shikshita to hai! bahas bhi to karati hai! bahas kar batoan ka sanbandh n usake sh‍varth se hota hai, n mere. us samay ham l d bhi to sakate haian. aur aisi l daiyoan mean koee sh‍varth bhi to nahian hota. samane apane dil ki satahean khol dene mean n mujhe sharm rahi, n mere samane use. lekin vaisa karane mean takaliph to hoti hi hai, ajib aur pechida, ghoomati-ghumati takaliph!

aur us takaliph ko talane ke lie ham jhooth bhi to bol dete haian, sarasar jhooth, saphed jhooth! lekin jhooth se sachaee aur gahari ho jati hai, adhik mahath‍vapoorn aur adhik pranavan, mano vah hamare lie aur sari manushh‍yata ke lie vishesh sar rakhati ho. aisi satah par ham bhavuk ho jate haian. aur, yah satah apane sare nijipan mean bilakul beniji hai. sath hi, mithi bhi! haan, us sh‍tar ki apani vichitr pi daean haian, bhayanak santap hai, aur is atyant ath‍miy kiantu nirvaiyaktik sh‍tar par ham ek ho jate haian, aur kabhi-kabhi thik usi sh‍tar par buri tarah l d bhi p date haian.

shh‍yamala ne kaha, 'us maidan ko samatal karane mean kitana kharch aega?'

'barah hajar.'

'unaka aandazakh‍ya hai?'

'bis hajar .'

'to baithak mean ja kar samajha doge aur yah bata doge ki kul mila kar barah hajar se jh‍yada namumakin hai?'

'haan, utana maian kar dooanga.'

'utana ka kh‍ya matalab?'

ab maian use 'utana' ka kh‍ya matalab bataooan! saph hai ki us bhagave khaddar- kuratevale se maian dushh‍mani mol nahian lena chahata. maian usake prati vaphadar rahooanga kh‍yoanki maian usaka adami hooan. bhale hi vah bura ho, bhrashh‍tachari ho, kiantu usi ke karan hi maian vishh‍vas-yogh‍y mana gaya hooan. isilie, maian kee mahath‍vapoorn kametiyoan ka sadash‍y hooan.

maine virodh-bhav se shh‍yamala ki taraph dekha. vah mera rukh dekh kar samajh gee. vah kuchh nahian boli. lekin mano maianne usaki avaj sun li ho.

shh‍yamala ka chehara 'char janiyoan-jaisa' hai. us par saanvali mohak dipti ka akarshan hai. kiantu usaki avaj... haan... avaj... vah itani surili aur mithi hai ki use anasuna karana nihayat mushkil hai. us sh‍var ko sun kar duniya ki achh‍chhi batean hi yad a s‍‍kati haian.

pata nahian kis tarah ki pareshan pechidagi mere chehare par jhalak uthi ki jise dekh kar usane kaha, '‍kaho, kh‍ya kahana chahate ho.'

yah vakh‍y mere lie nirnay‍k ban gaya. phir bhi avarodh shesh tha. apane jivan ka sar-sath‍y apana guph‍t-dhan hai. usake guph‍t sandharsh haian, usaka apana ek guph‍t natak hai. vah prakat karate nahian banata. phir bhi, shayad hai ki use prakat kar dene ye usaka moolh‍y badh jae, usaka koee vishesh upayog ho sake.

ek tha pakshi. vah nile asaman mean khoob ooanchaee par u data ja raha tha. usake sath usake pita aur mitr bhi the.

(shh‍yamala mere chehare ki taraph ashh‍chary se dekhate lagi)

sab bahut ooanchaee par u danevale pakshi the. unaki nigahean bhi b di tej thian. unh‍hean door door ki bhanak aur door-door ki mahak bhi mil jati.

ek din vah naujavan pakshi jamin par chalati huee ek bailaga di ko dekh leta hai. usamean b de-b de bore bhare hue haian. ga divala chilh‍la-chilh‍la kar kahata hai, 'do dimakean lo, ek pankh do.'

us naujavan pakshi ko dimakoan ka shauk tha. vaise to ooanche u danevale pakshiyoan ko hava mean hi bahut-se ki de tairate hue mil jate, jinh‍hean kha kar ve apani bhookh tho di-bahut shaant kar lete.

lekin dimakean sirph jamin par milati thian. kabhi-kabhi pe doan par-jamin se tane par chadh kar, ooanchi dal tak, ve apana matiyala lanba ghar bana letian. lekin vaise kuchh hi pe d hote, aur ve sab ek jagah n milate.

naujavan pakshi ko laga - yah bahut b di suvidha hai ki ek adami dimakoan ko boroan mean bhar kar bech raha hai.

vah apani ooanchaiyaan chho d kar mandarata hua niche utarata hai aur pe d ki ek dal par baith jata hai.

donoan ka sauda tay ho jata hai. apani choanch se ek par ko khianch kar to dane mean use takaliph bhi hoti hai; lekin use vah baradashh‍t kar leta hai. muanh mean b de sh‍vad ke sath do dimakean daba kar vah pakshi phurr se u d jata hai.

(kahate-kahate maian thak gaya shayad saans lene ke lie. shh‍yamala ne palakean jhapakaeean aur kaha, 'hooan')

ab us pakshi ko ga divale se dimakean kharidane aur ek par dene mean b di asani maloom huee. vah roj tisare pahar niche utarata aur ga‍ divale ko ek pankh de kar do dimakean kharid leta.

kuchh dinoan tak aisa hi chalata raha. e‍k din usake pita ne dekh liya. usane samajhane ko koshish ki ki bete, dimakean hamara sh‍vabhavik ahar nahian haian, aur usake lie apane pankh to haragij nahian die ja sakate.

lekin, us naujavan pakshi ne b de hi garv se apana muanh doosari or kar liya. use jamin par utar kar dimakean khane ki chat lag gee thi. ab use n to doosare ki de achh‍chhe lagate, n phal, n anaj ke dane. dimakoan ka shauk ab us par havi ho gaya tha.

(shh‍yamala apani phaili huee aankhoan se mujhe dekh rahi thi, usaki oopar uthi huee palakean aur bhauanean b di hi suandar dikhaee de rahi thian.)

lekin aisa kitane dinoan tak chalata. usake pankhoan ki sankhh‍ya lagatar ghatati chali gee. ab vah, ooanchaiyoan par, apana santulan sadh nahian sakata tha, n bahut samay tak pankh use sahara de sakate the. akash-yatra ke dauran use jalh‍di-jalh‍di paha di chattanoan guanbadoan aur burjo par haanphate hue baith jana p data. usake parivar vale tatha mitr ooanchaiyoan par tairate hue age badh jate. vah bahut pichh d jata. phir bhi dimak khane ka usaka shauk kam nahian hua. dimakoan ke lie ga‍ divale ko vah apane pankh to d-to d kar deta raha.

(shh‍yamala ganbhir ho kar sun rahi thi. abaki bar usane 'hooan' bhi nahian kaha.)

phir usane socha ki asaman mean u dana hi phijool hai. vah moorkhoan ka kam hai. usaki halat yah thi ki ab vah asaman mean u d hi nahian sakata tha, vah sirph ek pe d se u d kar doosare pe d tak pahuanch pata. dhire-dhire usaki yah shakti bhi kam hoti gee. aur ek samay vah aya jab vah b di mushkil se, pe d ki ek dal se lagi huee doosari dal par, chal kar, phudak kar pahuanchata. lekin dimak khane ka shauk nahian chhoota.

bich-bich mean ga divala buth‍ta de jata. vah kahian najar mean n ata. pakshi usake iantajar mean ghulata rahata.

lekin dimakoan ka shauk jo use tha. usane socha, 'maian khud dimakean dhooandhanga.' isalie vah pe d par se utar kar jamin par a gaya; aur ghas ke ek laharate guchh‍chhe mean simat kar baith gaya.

(shh‍yamala meri or dekhe ja rahi thi. usane apekshapoorvak kaha 'hooan.')

phir ek din us pakshi ke ji mean n maloom kh‍ya aya. vah khoob mehanat se jamin mean se dimakean chun-chun kar, khane ke bajay unh‍hean ikatta karane laga. ab usake pas dimakoan ke dher ke dher ho ge.

phir ek din ekaek vah ga divala dikhaee diya. pakshi ko b di khushi huee. usane pukar kar kaha, 'ga divale, o ga divale! maian kab se tumh‍hara iantajar kar raha tha.'

pahachani avaj sun kar ga divala ruk gaya. tab pakshi ne kaha, 'dekho, maianne kitani sari dimakean jama kar li hai.'

ga divale ko pakshi ki bat samajh mean nahian aee. usane sirph itana kaha, 'to maian kh‍ya karooan.'

'ye meri dimakean le lo, aur mere pankh mujhe vapas kar do.' pakshi ne javab diya.

ga divala thatha kar hans p da. usane kaha, 'bevakooph, maian dimak ke badale pankh leta hooan, pankh ke badale dimak nahian.'

ga divale ne 'pankh' shabh‍d par jor diya tha.

(shh‍yamala dhh‍yan se sun rahi thi. usane kaha, 'phir')

ga divala chala gaya. pakshi chhatapata kar rah gaya. ek din ek kali bilh‍li aee aur apane muanh mean use daba kar chali gee. tab us pakshi ka khoon tapak-tapak kar jamin par booandoan ki lakir bana raha tha.

(shh‍yamala dhh‍yan se mujhe dekhe ja rahi thi; aur usaki ekatak nigahoan se bachane ke lie meri aankhean talab ki siharati-kaanpati, chilakati-chamachamati laharoan par tiki huee thian)

kahani kah chukane ke bad, mujhe ek jabaradash‍t jhat‍ka laga. ek bhayanak pratikriya - kolatar-jaisi kali, gandhak-jaisi pili-narangi!

'nahian, mujhamean abhi bahut kuchh shesh hai, bahut kuchh. maian us pakshi-jaisa nahian marooanga. maian abhi bhi ubar sakata hooan. rog abhi asadhh‍y nahian hua hai. thath se rahane ke chakh‍kar se bandhe hue buraee ke chakh‍kar to de ja sakate haian. pran‍shakti shesh hai, shesh .'

turant hi laga ki shh‍yamala ke samane phijool apana rahash‍y khol diya, vh‍yarth hi ath‍m-sh‍vikar kar dala. koee bhi vh‍yakti itana param priy nahian ho sakata ki bhitar ka nanga. baladar, richh use bataya jae. maian asim du:kh ke khare mrit sagar mean doob gaya.

shh‍yamala apani jagah se dhire se uthi, sa di ka palh‍la thik kiya, usaki salavatean bara‍bar jamaeean, baloan par se hath phera. aur phir (aangareji mean) kaha, 'suandar katha hai, bahut suandar!'

phir vah kshan-bhar khoee-si kh di rahi, aur phir boli, 'tumane kahaan padhi?'

maian apane hi shoonh‍y mean khoya hua tha. usi shoonh‍y ke bich mean se maianne kaha, 'pata nahian... kisi ne sunaee ya maianne kahian padhi.'

aur vah shh‍yamala achanak mere samane a gee, kuchh kahana chahane lagi, mano us kahani mean usaki kisi bat ki taeed hoti ho.

usake chehare par dhoop p di huee thi. mukhamandal suandar aur pradiph‍t dikhaee de raha tha.

ki isi bich hamari aankhean samane ke rash‍te par jam geean.

ghutanoan tak maili dhoti aur kali, saphed ya lal bandi pahane kuchh dehati bhaee, samooh mean chale a rahe the. ek ke hath mean ek b da-sa danda tha, jise vah apane age, samane kie hue tha. us dande par ek lanba mara hua saanp jhool raha tha. kala bhujang, jisake pet ki halaki saphedi bhi jhalak rahi thi.

shh‍yamala ne dekhate hi poochha, 'kaun-sa saanp hai yah?' vah gramin mukh chhath‍tisagadhi lahaje mean chilh‍laya, 'karet hai baee, karet .'

shh‍yamala ke muanh se nikal pada, 'ophpho! karet to b da jaharila saanp hota hai.'

phir meri or dekh kar kaha, 'nag ki to dava bhi nikali hai, karet ki to koee dava nahian hai. achh‍chha kiya, mar dala. jahaan saanp dekho, mar dalo, phir vah paniyal saanp hi kh‍yoan n ho .'

aur phir n jane kh‍yoan, mere man mean usaka yah vakh‍y gooanj utha, 'jahaan saanp dekho, mar dalo.'

aur ye shabh‍d mere man mean gooanjate hi chale ge.

ki isi bich... rajish‍tar mean chadhe hue aank doan ki ek lanbi mijan mere samane jhool uthi aur galiyare ke aandhere konoan mean garam hone vali mutthiyoan ka chor hath .

shh‍yamala ne palat kar kaha, 'tumh‍hare kamare mean bhi to saanp ghus aya tha, kahaan se aya tha vah?'

phir usane khud hi jabab de liya, 'haan, vah pas ki khi daki mean se aya hoga.'

khi daki ki bat sunate hi mere samane, bahar ki kaantedar jha diyaan, beant ki jha diyaan a geean, jise jangali bel ne lapet rakha tha . mere khud ke tikhe kaantoan ke bavajood, kh‍ya shh‍yamala mujhe isi tarah lapet sakegi. b da hi 'romaantik' khayal hai, lekin kitana bhayanak.

... kh‍yoanki shh‍yamala ke sath agar mujhe jiandagi basar karani hai to n maloom kitane hi bhagave khaddar kuratevaloan se mujhe l dana p dega, ji k da karake l daiyaan mol leni p degi aur apani amadani ke jarie khath‍m kar dene hoange. shh‍yamala ka kh‍ya hai! vah to ek gaandhivadi karyakarta ki l daki hai, adivasiyoan ki us kulh‍ha di-jaisi hai jo jangal mean apane beeeman aur bevapha sathi ka sir dh d se alag kar deti hai. barik beeemaniyoan ka soofiyana aandazusamean kahaan!

kiantu phir bhi adivasiyoan jaise us amishrit adarshavad mean mujhe ath‍ma ka gaurav dikhaee deta hai, manushh‍y ki mahima dikhaee deti hai, paine tark ki apani aantim prabhavoth‍padak parinati ka ulh‍las dikhaee deta hai - aur ye sab bate mere hriday ka sh‍parsh kar jati haian. to, ab maian isake lie kh‍ya karooan, kh‍ya karooan!

aur ab mujhe sajh‍jayukh‍t bhadrata ke manohar vatavaran vala apana kamara yad ata hai... apana akela dhuandhala-dhuandhala kamara. usake ekaant mean prath‍yavartit aur pun: prath‍yavartit prakash komal vatavaran mean mool-rashmiyaan aur unake udgam sh‍trotoan par sochate rahana, khayaloan ki laharoan mean bahate rahana kitana saral, suandar aur bhadratapoorn hai. usase n kabhi garami lagati hai, n pasina ata hai, n kabhi kap de maile hote haian. kiantu prakash ke udgam ke samane rahana, usaka samana karana, usaki chilachila‍ti dopahar mean rash‍ta napate rahana aur dhool phaankate rahana kitana tras-dayak hai. pasine se tarabatar kap de is tarah chipachipate haian aur is kadar gande maloom hote haian ki lagata hai... ki agar koee is halat mean hamean dekh le to vah beshak hamean nichale darje ka adami samajhega. saje hue tebal par rakhe kimat phauantenapen-jaise nirav-shabh‍daankan-vadi hamare vh‍yaktith‍v jo bahut b de hi khushanuma maloom hote haian - kinh‍hian mahath‍vapoorn parivartanoan ke karan - jab ve aangan mean aur ghar-bahar chalati huee jha doo jaise kam karanevale dikhaee dean, to is halat mean yadi s dak-chhap samajhe jaean to isamean ashh‍chary ki hi kh‍ya bat hai!

lekin maian ab aise kamoan ki sharm nahian karooanga, kh‍yoanki jahaan mera hriday hai, vahian mera bhagh‍y hai!

panne ki pragati avastha

adhar

prarambhik

madhyamik

poornata

shodh