गोरा उपन्यास भाग-11

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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lalita ke pas se lautakar us din vinay ke man mean ek shanka rah-rahakar kaante-si chubh rahi thi. vah sochane laga- pareshababoo ke ghar mean mera ana-jana kisi ko achchha lagata hai ya nahian, thik-thik yah jane bina maian zabaradasti vahaan jata rahata hooan, shayad yah thik nahian hai. shayad maian kee bar asamay pahuanchakar unhean duvidha mean dalata raha hooan. unake samaj ka niyam maian janata nahian, us ghar mean mere jane ki maryada kya hai, mujhe maloom nahian. ho sakata hai ki maian bevakoophoan ki tarah aisi jagah dakhal deta raha hooan, jahaan ghar ke logoan ko chho dakar kisi doosare ko nahian jana chahie.

yah bat sochate-sochate achanak usako yah bat yad aee ki shayad lalita ne usake chehare par koee aisa bhav dekha ho jo use apamanajanak laga ho. lalita ke prati vinay ke man mean kya bhav hai, yah vinay ke age ab tak spasht nahian tha, lekin ab vah usase chhipa n raha. hriday ki is nee abhivyakti ka kya kiya jae, isake bare mean vah kuchh nahian soch saka. bahar ke vyaktittav se usaka mel kaise hoga, sansar ke sath usaka sanbandh kya hai, kya vah lalita ke prati asamman hai ya pareshababoo ke prati vishvasaghat-in sab prashnoan ko lekar vah b di udhe d-bun mean ulajh gaya. lalita usake man ki bat jan gee hai tatha isilie us par naraz huee hai, yah kalpana karake vah mano dharati mean sama jana chahane laga.

vinay ke li‍e pareshababoo ke ghar jana asanbhav-sa ho gaya aur apane ghar ka soonapan bhi ek bojh jaisa use dabane laga. agale din sabere hi vah anandamee ke pas ja pahuancha aur bola, "maan, kuchh din maian tumhare yahaan hi rahooanga." vinay ke man mean kahian yah bat bhi chhipi thi ki gora ki anupasthit mean vah anandamee ko kuchh saantvana de sakega. yah samajhakar anandamee ka hriday dravit ho utha. bina kuchh kahe unhoanne ek bar snehapoorvak vinay ke kandhe par hath rakh diyaan

vinay apane khane-pine aur seva-tahal ke mamale mean tarah-tarah ke nakhare karane laga. kabhi-kabhi vah anandamee ke sath is bat ko lekar jhooth-mooth jhag da karane lagata ki usaki vahaan poori dekh-bhal nahian hoti. har vakt batachit aur halla-gulla karate rahakar vah anandamee ko aur svayan apane ko bahalane ki cheshta karata. saanjh ke samay jab man ko sanbhalana mushkil hota tab zid karake vinay anandamee ko ghar ke kamoan se hatakar apane kamare ke samane baramade mean chataee bichhakar bitha leta aur unase unake bachapan ki aur unake mayake ki batean suna karata- jab unaka vivah nahian hua tha aur jab vah apane adhh‍yapak pitamah ke tol (vidyalay) ke chhatroan ki ladali thian, jab sab log pitrihina balika ko har bat mean itana sir chadhae rakhate the ki unaki vidhava mata ko b di chianta satati rahati thi. vinay kahata, "maan, koee samay aisa bhi tha jab tum meri maan nahian thi, mujhe yah sochakar hi acharaj hota hai. mujhe lagata hai ki tumhean tol ke l dake bhi apani ek bahut nanhian-si maan hi samajhate rahe hoange. balki dadaji mahashay ko palane-posane ka jimma bhi tumhara hi raha hoga."

ek din sham ko chataee par phaile hue anandamee ke pairoan ke pas sir rakhate hue vinay bola, "maan, ji chahata hai, apani sari vidya, budhdi vidhata ko lautakar phir shishu hokar tumhari god mean ashray paooan-duniya mean tumhare alava aur mera kuchh n ho."

vinay ke svar mean kuchh aisa bharrayapan aur thakan jhalak rahi thi ki anandamee ko vyatha ke sath ashchary bhi hua. vah vinay ke pas sarakakar dhire-dhire usake mathe par hath pherane lagian. kafi der chup rahakar unhoanne poochha, "vinoo, pareshababoo ke ghar sab thik tarah haian n?"

prashn sunakar vinay ekaek chauankakar sharama gaya. sochane laga- maan se kuchh bhi chhipa nahian rahata, maan meri aantaryami haian. kuchh hichakichate hue bola, "haan, ve sab log to thik hi haian."

anandamee bolian, "mera bahut man hota hai ki pareshababoo ki l dakiyoan ke sath meri jan-pahachan ho jati. unaki taraph se pahale to gora ke man ka bhav sahaj nahian tha, lekin ab agar unhoanne us tak ko vash mean kar liya hai to ve sab mamooli log nahian hoangi."

utsahit hokar vinay ne kaha, "anek bar maianne bhi socha hai ki kisi tarah pareshababoo ki l dakiyoan ke sath tumhara parichay kara deta. parantu gora ko kahian bura n lage, is bhay se maianne kabhi kuchh kaha nahian."

anandamee ne poochha, "b di l daki ka kya nam hai?"

is prakar saval-javab ke jarie parichay hote-hote jab lalita ki bat aee tab vinay ne kisi tarah use jaldi se talane ki koshish ki, lekin anandamee nahian manian. man-hi-man hansakar unhoanne kaha, "suna hai, lalita ki budhdi b di tez hai?"

vinay bola, "tumane kisase suna?"

anandamee ne kaha, "kyoan, tumhian se to!"

ek samay pahale aisa bhi tha jab lalita ke sanbandh mean vinay ke man mean kisi prakar ka sankoch nahian tha. unhian moh-mukt dinoan mean vinay ne anandamee ke samane lalita ki tivr budhdi ki kitani bachakana charcha ki thi, yah bat vah bhool gaya tha.

kushal maanjhi ki tarah anandamee sab badhaoan se bachati huee lalita ki bat roopi nav ko aise chalati le geean ki vinay se usake parichay ke itihas ki mukhy-mukhy pray: sabhi batean jan geean. gora ko saza hone ke mamale se kshubdh hokar lalita stimar mean vinay ke sath akeli bhag aee, yah bat bhi vinay ne aj suna dali. kahate-kahate usaka utsah aur bhi badh chala- saanjh hote hi jis malinata ne use dhar dabocha tha vah n jane kahaan u d gee. lalita- jaise ek ashcharyakari charitr ko janana aur is tarah usaki bat kar sakana apane-ap mean use ek bahut b da fayada jan p dane laga. jab rat ko bhojan ka bulava ane se batoan ka tar toota tab mano hathath svapn se jagakar vinay ne jana ki usake man mean jo kuchh tha vah sabhi anandamee se kah diya gaya hai. sari bat anandamee ne aise sahaj bhav se suni, aise dhang se grahan ki, ki vinay ko bilh‍kul aisa nahian laga ki isamean kahian koee sharm karane ki bat ho sakati hai. vinay ne aj tak maan se kabhi kuchh nahian chhipaya chhoti-se-chhoti bat bhi vah unhean bata deta tha. lekin pareshababoo ke parivar se parichay hone ke bad usamean kahian kuchh atak p d gee thi jo vinay ke lie svasthyakar nahian thi. aj lalita ke bare mean usake man ki bat sookshmadarshini anandamee ke samane is prakar prakat ho gee hai, yah sochakar vinay ka man khil utha. apane jivan ke is pahaloo ka maan ke samane poori tarah nivedan kie bina vah kisi tarah bhi bilh‍kul nirmal-man n ho pata- kahian kuchh mail avashy rah jata.

rat ko bahut der tak anandamee inhian batoan ko lekar man-hi-man sochati rahian. gora ke jivan mean jo samasya uttarottar aur jatil hoti ja rahi thi, shayad usaka koee hal pareshababoo ke ghar mean mil sakega, yah samajhakar unhoanne nishchay kiya kiya ki jaise bhi ho un l dakiyoan se ek bar ‍‍milana hi thik hoga.

mahim aur unake parivar ke sadasy yahi manakar chal rahe the ki shashimukhi ke sath vinay ka vivah ek tarah se pakka ho gaya hai. shashimukhi to ab vinay ke samane ati hi nahian thi. shashimukhi ki maan se vinay ka parichay kuchh khas nahian tha. yah bat nahian thi ki vah svabhav se lajili hoan, lekin unaki pravritti har bat ko chhipakar rakhane ki thi. unake kamare ka daravaza aksar band rahata tha. pati ko chho dakar aur sabhi-kuchh ko vah tale mean band rakhati thi. pati ko bhi bahut khuli chhoot milati ho aisa to nahian tha- patni ke shasan mean unaki gatividhi bilkul nirdisht thi aur unaki azadi ke kshetr ka dayara atyant sankara. sab-kuchh ko is tarah baandhakar rakhane ki unaki pravritti ke karan shashimukhi ki maan lakkhimani ka sansar sanpoornata unaki mutthi mean tha. bahar ke vyakti ka bhitar ana athava bhitar se vyakti ka bahar jana ek saman kathin tha. yahaan tak ki gora ki bhi lakkhimani ke mahal mean gati nahian thi. is kshetr ki vyavash‍tha mean kisi tarah ki koee duvidha nahian thi, kyoanki yahaan qanoon banane vali bhi lakkhimani thian aur nichali adalat se lekar ooanchi adalat tak bhi lakkhimani hi thian-ekjikyootiv jyudishiyal ka bhed to nahian hi tha, balki lejisletiv bhi usi ke sath ju da hua tha. bahar ke logoan ke sath vyavahar mean mahim b de sakht jan p date the, lekin lakkhimani ke shasan mean unhean apani ichchhanusar chalane ki koee ijajat nahian thi, chhoti-chhoti batoan mean bhi nahian.

vinay ko lakkhimani ne a d se dekh rakha tha aur pasand bhi kiya tha. mahim vinay ko bachapan se hi gora ke mitr ke roop mean dekhane ke itane adi ho ge the ki shayad ati parichay ke karan hi unhoanne kabhi vinay ko apani kanya ke patr ke roop mean nahian dekha. jab lakkhimani ne unaki drishti vinay ki or is ashay se ghumaee tab sahadharmini ki budhdi ke prati unaki shradhda badh gee. lakkhimani ne pakka nishchay kar liya ki vinay ke sath hi unaki kanya ka vivah hoga. ek bahut b di suvidha ki bat bhi is prastav mean unhoanne apane pati ke man mean achchh tarah bitha di thi ki un logoan se vinay koee dahej nahian maang sakega.

vinay ko ghar mean pakar bhi mahim do-ek din usase vivah ki bat n kar sake. gora ki saza ko lekar usaka man vyathit hai, yah sochakar vah chup hi rahe.

aj ravivar tha. mahim ki saptahik diva-nidra patni ne poori n hone di. bankim baboo ke nav-prakashit 'bang darshan' ka naya aank lekar vinay anandamee ko suna raha tha ki hath mean pan ka dibba lie hue vahaan pahuanchakar mahim dhire se takhtaposh par baith ge.

unhoanne pahale to vinay ko ek pan dekar gora ki uchchhriankhalata aur beakli par virakti prakat ki. isake bad usake chhootane mean aur kitane din shesh haian, yah ginate-ginate mano bilh‍kul achanak unako yad a gaya ki agahan ka mahina to lagabhag adha bit gaya.

vah bole, "vinay, tumane jo kaha tha ki tumhare vansh mean agahan ke mahine mean vivah ka nishedh hai, vah bilh‍kul vyarth ki bat hai. avval to pothi-patre mean nishedh ke alava kuchh milata hi nahian, us par agar ghar mean hi apana niji shastr banate rahoge to khanadan chalega kaise?"

vinay ka sankat samajhakar anandamee bolian, "shashimukhi ko vinay bachapan se hi dekhata a raha hai-usase byah karane ki bat use nahian janchati. isilie agahan mahine ka bahana karake baitha hai."

mahim bole, "yah bat to shuroo mean hi kah deni chahie thi."

anandamee ne kaha, "apani ichchha pahachanate bhi to der lagati hai, lekin mahim, patr ka kya akal hai? gaur laut ae, vah to anek achchhe l dakoan ko janata hai- kisi ek ko thik kar dega.'

muanh banate hue mahim ne kaha, "huan:!"

tho di der chup rahakar phir bole, "maan, agar tumhian vinay ka man n palat detian to vah isamean koee apatti n karata."

sakapakakar vinay kuchh kahane ja raha tha, lekin anandamee ne use tokate hue kaha, "to, sach bat kahooan mahim, maian ise badhava nahian de saki. vinay abhi l daka hai, ho sakata hai ki bina samajhe-jane yah koee kam bhi kar baithata, lekin age chalakar vah thik n hota."

vinay ko ot dekar anandamee ne mahim ke gusse ki mar apane oopar le li hai, yah samajhakar vinay apani durbalata par lajjit ho utha. vah apani asahamati saph-saph prakat karane ki udyat ho raha tha ki mahim aur n rukakar man-hi-man yah kahate hue uthakar chale ge ki vimata kabhi apani nahian hoti.

mahim aisa soch sakata hai, aur vimata hone ke karan vah sansar ki kachahari mean hamesha ke lie abhiyukt ki shreni mean rakh di geean, yah anandamee janatian thian. lekin log kaheange ya socheange, is bat ka vichar karate hue chalana unaki adat nahian thi. jis din se unhoanne gora ko god mean utha liya tha usi din se unaki prakriti logoan ke achar aur vichar se bilh‍kul svatantr ho gee thi. us din se aisi bahut-si batean vah karati a rahi thian jinake lie log unaki buraee hi karean. unake jivan ke marmasthal mean ek saty ko chhupa rakhane ki jo bat unhean hamesha du:kh deti rahati thi, usaki pi da se yah lok-nianda hi unhean kisi sima tak mukt karati thi. jab log unhean khristan kahate the tab gora ko gale se lagakar vah kahati thian- bhagavan janate haian ki khristan kahane se mera zara bhi apaman nahian hota.

is tarah dhire-dhire sabhi mamaloan mean logoan ki batoan se apane vyavahar ko alag kar lene ka unako abhyas ho gaya tha. isilie mahim ke man-hi-man ya prakat roop se vimata kahakar unhean laanchhit karane par bhi vah apane marg se vichalit n hoti thi.

anandamee ne kaha, "vinoo, bahut dinoan se tum pareshababoo ke ghar nahian ge!"

vinay bola, "abhi bahut din kahaan hue haian?"

anandamee, "stimar se lautane ke agale din se nahian ge."

yah koee bahut din to nahian hote, lekin vinay yah bhi janata tha ki bich mean pareshababoo ke ghar usaka ana-jana itana badh gaya tha ki anandamee ke lie bhi usake darshan durlabh ho ge the. is hisab se to zaroor use pareshababoo ke ghar ge hue kafi arasa ho gaya tha aur yah logoan ke dhyan dene ki bat thi.

vinay apani dhoti ke chhor se ek dhaga khianchakar to data hua chup ho gaya.

usi samay bere ne akar khabar di, "maanji, uhaan se maee lok aya hai."

h dab dakar vinay uth kh da hua. kaun aya hai, kahaan se aya hai, yah poochhate-poochhate hi sucharita aur lalita kamare mean a pahuanchian. vinay ka kamare se bahar jana nahian hua, vah stambhit-sa kh da raha.

akar donoan ne anandamee ke pairoan ki dhool li. lalita ne vinay ki or vishesh dhh‍yan nahian diya, sucharita ne use namaskar karate hue poochha, "achchhi tarah haian?" phir anandamee ki or mu dakar kaha, "ham log pareshababoo ke yahaan se aee haian."

anandamee ne pyar se unhean uthate hue kaha, "mujhe vah parichay dene ki zaroorat nahian hai. maianne tum logoan ko dekha nahian, beti lekin ghar-sa hi janati hooan."

batean hone lagian. sucharita ne vinay ko chup baitha dekhakar use bhi batachit mean khianch lene ki koshish ki. mridu svar mean boli, "ap bahut din se hamare ghar nahian ae?"

ek bar lalita ki or dekhakar vinay ne kaha, "bar-bar tang karake kahian apaka sneh n kho dooan, is dar se."

tanik hansakar sucharita ne kaha, "sneh bhi bar-bar tang kie jane ki ash rakhata hai, shayad ap yah nahian janate?"

anandamee bolian, "ye bat yah khoob janata hai. tumhean kya bataooan, isaki pharamaishoan aur nakharoan ke mare sara din mujhe phurasat hi nahian milati." kahate hue mamatamee drishti se unhoanne vinay ki or dekha.

vinay bola, "eeshvar ne tumhean jo dhairy diya hai, mere dvara ve us dhairy ki pariksha lete rahate haian."

lalita ko halka-sa dhakka dete hue sucharita ne poochha, "sun rahi hai, lalita? ham logoan ki pariksha shayad ho chuki- ham log pas nahian hue n?"

is bat mean lalita ne koee yog nahian diya yah dekhakar anandamee hansakar bolian, "hamare vinoo baboo ab apane hi dhairy ki pariksha kar rahe haian. tum logoan ko yah kis nazar se dekhata hai yah to tumhean nahian maloom- sham se hi tum logoan ki bat ke sivay aur koee bat hi nahian hoti. aur pareshababoo ki bat chalane par bilh‍kul gadgadh ho jata hai."

anandamee ne lalita ke chehare ki or dekha. hath karake vah aauankhean to uthae rahi, lekin chehara lal ho gaya.

anandamee ne kaha, "tumhare pita ki or se yah n jane kitane logoan se jhag da kar chuka hai! isake gut ke log to 'brahm' kahakar jat-bahar karane ki soch rahe haian! vinoo, itana ghabarane se to kam nahian chalega, beta-sach bat hi to kah rahi hooan. aur isamean sharmane jaisi bhi to koee bat nahian hai. tum kya kahati ho, beti?"

anandamee ne jab is bar lalita ki or dekha to usane aauankhean jhuka lian. sucharita ne kaha "vinay baboo hamean apane hi log samajhate haian, yah ham janati haian. lekin aisa hamare hi gunoan ke karan ho yah bat nahian hai, vah inaki udarata hai."

anandamee bolian, "yah bat maian nahian manati. ise to bachapan se hi dekhati a rahi hooan, itane din to isaka dost ek mera gora hi tha. maianne to yahaan tak dekha hai ki apane gut ke logoan se bhi isaka mel nahian hota. lekin tum logoan se do din ki jan-pahachan mean hi yah aisa ho gaya hai ki hamean bhi isaka pata nahian milata. maianne to socha tha, isake li‍e tum logoan se jhag da karooangi, lekin ab dekh rahi hooan ki mujhe bhi isake gut mean hi shamil ho jana hoga- tum se sabhi ko har manani hogi." kahate-kahate anandamee ne ek bar lalita aur ek bar sucharita ki tho di chhookar apani uangaliyaan choom lian.

sucharita ne vinay ka bura hal dekhakar daya karake kaha, "vinay baboo, baba bhi ae haian, krishnadayal baboo se bahar ke kamare mean batean kar rahe haian."

sunate hi vinay jaldi se bahar chala gaya. tab anandamee gora aur vinay ki asadharan dosti ki charcha karane lagian. donoan shrota udasin nahian haian, yah samajhane mean unhean der n lagi. jivan-bhar anandamee inhian donoan l dakoan ko matrisneh ka poora ardhh‍y dekar poojati rahi haian, inase badhakar sansar mean unaka koee nahian raha hai. chhoti l daki ki pooja ke mrittika-shiv ki bhaanti unhoanne in donoan ko apane hathoan se gadha hai zaroor, lekin in donoan ko unaki poori aradhana milati rahati hai. anandamee ke muanh se nikali unaki god ke in do devataoan ki kahani sneh-ras mean aisi doobi huee thi ki sucharita aur lalita sunate nahian agha rahi thian. unamean gora aur vinay ke prati shradhda kam nahian thi, lekin anandamee-jaisi maan ke aise sneh ke madhh‍yam se mano donoan se unaka ek naya aur vishesh parichay hua ho.

aj anandamee se jan-pahachan ho jane par majistret ke prati lalita ka gussa kuchh aur badh gaya. lalita ke muanh se gusse ki bat sunakar anandamee hans dian. bolian "beta, aj gora jel mean hai yah bat mujhe kitana du:kh de rahi hai, yah aantaryami hi janate haian. lekin sahab par maian gussa nahian kar saki. maian gora ko janati hooan, jise vah thik samajhata hai usake samane niyam-kanoon kuchh nahian manata, jab nahian manata to vicharak use jel bhejeange hi- isake lie unhean kyoan dosh diya jay? gora ka kartavy gora ne kiya- unaka kartavy ve kareange, isamean jinako du:kh milana hai unako milega hi. mere gora ki chitthi padho to samajh sakogi bitiya, ki vah du:kh se nahian dara, kisi par vyarth big da bhi nahian- kis bat ka kya parinam hoga, sab samajh-boojhakar hi age badha"

yah kahakar b di sanbhalakar rakhi huee gora ki chitthi baks se nikalakar unhoanne sucharita ko di. bolian, "beti, zor-zor se padho, maian phir ek bar sunooan.'

gora ki chitthi padh li jane par tinoan tho di der stabdh bani rahian. anandamee ne aauanchal se aauankhean poanchh lian. unaki aauankhoan mean jo aauansoo the unamean keval maan ke hriday ki pi da hi nahian thi, usake sath anand aur gaurav bhi mila hua tha. unaka gora kya mamooli l daka hai! majistret usaka kasoor maph karake daya karake chho d deange, vah kya aisa hai! usane to sara aparadh svikar kar jel ka du:kh jan-boojhakar apane oopar ot liya hai. usake is du:kh ke lie kisi se koee jhag da karane ki avashyakata nahian hai, gora dhiraj se use sah raha hai aur anandamee bhi sah leangi.

chakit hokar lalita anandamee ke chehare ki or dekhati rahi. lalita ke man par brahm-parivar ka sanskar bahut dridh tha, jin striyoan ko adhunik dhang ki shiksha nahian mili, aur jinhean vah 'hiandoo ghar ki auratean' kahakar chinhati thi unake prati lalita mean samman nahian tha. varadasuandari bachapan se hi l dakiyoan se koee aparadh ho jane par unhean kahatian- hiandoo ghar ki l dakiyoan ki tarah aise kam nahian karate! aisi bat sunakar lalita us aparadh ke lie lajjit hokar barabar sir nicha kar leti rahi hai. anandamee ke muanh se ye batean sunakar usaka hriday bar-bar vismay se bhar uthata tha. jitana bal utani hi shaanti aur utana hi ashcharyamay sadh-vivek. avesh ke veg mean lalita apane ko anandamee ke sammukh bahut hi hin anubhav kar rahi thi. bhitar-hi-bhitar usaka man b da kshubdh tha, isilie vinay ke chehare ki or vah dekhati bhi nahian thi. aur usase boli bhi nahian thi. lekin sneh, karuna aur shaanti se mandit anandamee ke chehare ki or dekhakar usake man ke bhitar jame vidroh ki jvala thandi p d gee aur charoan or ke logoan se usaka sanbandh sahaj-sa ho aya. lalita ne anandamee se kaha, "gaur baboo ne itani shakti kahaan se paee hai, vah apako dekhakar aj samajh saki hooan."

anandamee ne kaha, "tab thik nahian samajhian. agar gora mere sadharan l dake jaisa hota to maian kahaan se shakti pati! tab kya maian usaka du:kh aise sah sakati?"

aj lalita ka man kyoan itana vikal ho utha tha, usaka tho da itihas janana yahaan avashyak hai.

pichhale kee dinoan se roz sabere bistar se uthate hi pahali bat lalita ke man mean yahi ati rahi ki aj vinay baboo nahian aeange. phir bhi sara din usake man ne kshan-bhar ke lie bhi vinay baboo ke ane ki pratiksha karana nahian chho da. kshan-kshan par use lagata raha, shayad vinay aya hai, vah shayad oopar n akar nichale kamare mean pareshababoo se bat kar raha hai. isilie din mean kitani bar akaran ek doosare se doosare kamare mean vah jati rahi hai, isaka koee hisab nahian hai. aant mean sara din bit jane par jab vah bistar par ja letati, tab soch n pati ki apane man ka vah kya kare. usake bhitar se rona um data aur chhati jaise phatane lagati, sath-sath gussa bhi ata- lekin gussa kis par hai, yah samajh n pati- shayad apane hi oopar. vah bar- bar sochati-yah kya hua? aise kaise chalega? kisi tarah koee rasta nahian soojhata- aise kitane din rah sakooangi?

lalita yah janati hai ki vinay hiandoo h, kisi prakar bhi vinay ke sath usaka vivah nahian ho sakata. phir bhi apane hriday ko kisi tarah vash mean n rakh pakar lajja aur bhay se usake pran sookh rahe the. halaanki vinay ka hriday usase vimukh nahian hai, yah bat usane samajh li thi, samajh lene par hi apane man par kaboo rakhana usake lie aur kathin ho gaya tha. isilie jab vah viddal hokar vinay ki bat joh rahi hoti, tab sath hi ek bhay bhi use laga rahata ki kahian vinay a hi n jae. isi tarah apane sath khianch-tan karate-karate akhir aj usake dhairy ka baandh toot gaya tha. usane socha, vinay ke n ane se hi usake pran itane bechain haian, ek bar use dekh lene se hi yah ashaanti door ho sakegi.

vah sabere hi satish ko pak dakar apane kamare mean le gee. ajakal mausi ko pakar apani dosti ki bat satish ek tarah se bhoola hua hi tha. lalita ne usase kaha, "vinay baboo se tera jhag da ho gaya hai kya?"

satish ne balapoorvak is apavad ka khandan kiya. lalita boli, "b de ae tere dost! too to har vakt 'vinayababoo vinayababoo' ki rat lagae rahata hai aur vah mu dakar teri or dekhate bhi nahian."

satish ne kaha, "vah, tumhare kahane se kya! yah kabhi ho hi nahian sakata!"

ghar mean sabase chhote satish ko apana b dappan sidhd karane ke lie bar-bar gale ke zor se kam lena p data hai. kiantu aj pakka praman dene ke lie vah usi pal dau da hua vinay ke ghar gaya. lautakar bola, "vah to ghar par nahian hai, isilie a bhi nahian sake."

lalita ne poochha, "itane din kyoan nahian ae?"

satish ne kaha, " itane din se hi to nahian haian."

tab lalita ne jakar sucharita se kaha, "didi, ek bar ham logoan ko gaur baboo ki maan ke pas ho ana chahie."

sucharita ne kaha, "lekin unase to parichay nahian hai."

lalita ne kaha, "vah, gaur baboo ke pita to baba ke bachapan ke dost haian?"

sucharita ko bhi yad a gaya. boli, "haan, so to hai."

sucharita utsahit ho uthi. boli, "bhee lalita, tum jakar baba se poochho?"

lalita ne kaha, "nahian, maian nahian kah sakooangi, tum jakar kaho!"

aant mean pareshababoo ke pas sucharita ne hi jakar bat chalaee. unhoanne kaha, "thik to hai, hamara pahale hi jana uchit hota.'

bhojan ke bad jane ki bat jab tay ho gee, tab lalita ka man viparit ho utha. n jane kahaan se man aur sandeh akar use ulati taraph khianchane lage. usane jakar sucharita se kaha, "didi, tum baba ke sath chalo. maian nahian jaooangi."

sucharita ne kaha, "yah kaisi bat kahi? too nahian jaegi to maian bhi akeli nahian jaooangi. b di achchhi l daki hai too-chal, g dab d mat kar!"

bahut manane par lalita gee. lekin use laga jaise vinay ke samane usaki har huee hai. vinay to b di asani se usake ghar ae bina rah saka aur vah aj vinay ko dekhane dau di hai, apani is har ke apaman-bodh se use bhari gussa ho aya. vinay ko vahaan dekh pane ki ash se hi usane anandamee ke ghar jane ka itana agrah kiya tha, man-hi-man is bat ko vah bilh‍kul asvikar karane ki cheshta karane lagi aur isilie apani is hath ko sidhd karane ke lie n usane vinay ki or dekha, n usake namaskar ka javab diya, n usase koee bat ki. vinay ne socha, lalita ne usake man ki chhupi bat ta d li hai, isilie vah usaki aisi avajna karake usaka pratyakhyan kar rahi hai. usase lalita ko prem bhi ho sakata hai, aisa anuman karane layaq atmavishvas vinay mean nahian tha.

vinay ne sankoch se daravaze ke pas akar kh de-kh de hi kaha, "pareshababoo ab ghar jana chahate haian, in sabako khabar dene ko kaha hai."

vinay kuchh is dhang se kh da hua tha ki lalita use dekh n sake.

anandamee ne kaha, "yah kaise ho sagata hai! muanh mitha kie bi‍na hi chale jaeange! aur adhik der nahian hogi- vinay, tum zara yahaan baitho, maian ek bar dekh aooan. bahar hi kyoan kh de ho, kamare mean akar baitho!"

lalita ki or pith karake vinay tho di door par jagah thik karake baitha. vinay ke prati usake vyavahar mean koee mail nahian hai, kuchh aise hi sahaj bhav se lalita ne kaha, "vinay baboo, apane apane bandhu satish ka kya bilh‍kul tyag kar diya hai, yah janane ke lie aj sabere vah apake ghar gaya tha."

achanak devavani sunakar manushy jaise chakit ho jata hai, aise hi vismay se vinay chauank utha. usaka vah chauankana sabako dikh gaya hoga, vah yah sochakar atyant lajjit ho gaya. apani svabhavik chaturaee ka koee spashtikaran nahian de saka, kanoan tak lal hota hua vah bola, "satish gaya tha kya? maian to ghar nahian tha."

achanak devavani sunakar manushy jaise chakit ho jata hai, aise hi vismay se vinay chauank utha. usaka yah chauankana sabako dikh gaya hoga, vah yah sochakar atyant lajjit ho gaya. apani svabhavik chaturaee ka koee spashtikaran nahian de saka, kanoan tak lal hota hua vah bola, "satish gaya tha? maian to ghar nahian tha."

vinay ko lalita ki is sadharan-si bat se apar anand hua. kshan-bhar mean sare vishv par chhaya hua ek gahara sanshay ekadam tootane vale du:svapn-sa door ho gaya. mano prithvi par usake chahane layaq aur kuchh baki n raha. usaka man kah utha- maian bach gaya, maian bach gaya. lalita naraz nahian hai, lalita ne us par koee sandeh nahian kiya.

vinay bola, "duniya mean jo log shikayat nahian karate, chup rah jate haian, unhian ko to doshi thaharaya jata hai. didi, tumhare muanh se aisi bat nahian suhati-tum svayan itani door chali gee ho ki doosare hi ab tumhean door jan p date haian."

aj pahale-pahal vinay ne sucharita ko didi kaha tha. sucharita ke kanoan ko yah bahut madhur laga. pahale parichay ke samay hi vinay ke prati usake man mean jo sauhard utpann hua tha, mano is sanbodhan se hi use ek snehapoorn akar mil gaya.

jab pareshababoo l daliyoan ko lekar vida hue tab din samapt pray: ho gaya tha. anandamee se vinay ne kaha, "maan, aj tumhean koee kam nahian karane dooanga. chalo, oopar chalean."

apane hriday ki halachal ko vinay sanbhal nahian pa raha tha. anandamee ko oopar le jakar usane apane hath se pharsh par chataee bichhakar unhean baithaya. vinay se anandamee ne poochha, "vinay, kyoan, akhir bat kya hai?"

vinay ne kaha, "mujhe koee bat nahian kahani, tumhian kaho!"

pareshababoo ki l dakiyaan unhean kaisi lagian, yahi sunane ke lie vinay ka man chhatapata raha tha.

anandamee ne kaha, "vah, bas isilie too mujhe bula laya? maian to samajhi ki koee kam ki bat hogi."

vinay ne kaha, "bulakar n lata to aisa sooryast kahaan dekh patian"

kalakatta ki chhatoan par us din agahan mas ka soory malin bhav se hi ast ho raha tha. vividha rangoan ki koee chhata nahian thi, akash mean dhoomil badali mean ek sunahari phiki-si abha jhalak rahi thi. kiantu vinay ke man ko aj is murjhaee huee saanjh ki dhoosarata bhi rangin lag rahi thi. use aisa lag raha tha mano charoan dishaean use nivi data se gher rahi hoan, akash mano use chhoo raha ho.

anandamee ne kaha, "donoan l dakiyaan b di lakshmi haian."

is charcha ko vinay ne rukane nahian diya, tarah-tarah se isako yuktipoorvak age badhata raha. pareshababoo ki l dakiyoan ke bare mean n jane kab-kab ki kaun-kaun si chhoti-b di sabhi batean samane aeean, unamean se kee bilh‍kul tuchchh thian, lekin us agahan ki mlan nirav saanjh mean ekaant kamare mean vinay ke utsah aur anandamee ki utsukata se ghareloo jivan ke aprasidhd itihas ki ye chhoti-chhoti batean bhi ganbhir mahimamee ho uthi thian.

sahasa anandamee ne ek lanbi saans lekar kaha, "sucharita ke sath yadi gora ka vivah ho sakata to mujhe b di khushi hoti."

vinay uchhal p da. bola, "maan, anek bar yah bat sochi hai. gora ke bilh‍kul upayukt sangini hai."

anandamee, "lekin aisa kya ho sakega?"

vinay, "kyoan nahian ho sakega? mujhe to lagata hai, gora ko sucharita pasand n ho aisi bat hi nahian hai."

anandamee se yah bat chhipi n thi ki gora ka man kisi or akrisht hua hai. aur vinay ki anek batoan se unhoanne yah bhi jan liya tha ki vah l daki sucharita hi hogi. tho di der chup rahane ke bad anandamee ne kaha, "lekin sucharita kya hiandoo ghar mean vivah karegi?"

vinay ne poochha, "achchha maan, gora brahm ke ghar vivah nahian kar sakata? kya tum raji n hoogi?"

anandamee, "bilkul raji hoooangi."

vinay ne phir poochha, "hoogi?"

anandamee bolian, "kyoan nahian hoooangi, vinoo? man se man ka mel hone se hi byah hota hai- us samay kaun-sa mantar padha gaya. utsahit hokar usane kaha, "maan, tumhare muanh se yah sab batean sunakar mujhe b da vismay hota hai. itani udar budhdi tumane kahaan se paee?"'

hansakar anandamee ne kaha, "gora se hi paee hai."

vinay ne kaha, "gora to isase ulti bat kahata hai."

anandamee, "usake kahane se kya hota hai? maianne jo kuchh sikha hai sab gora se hi sikha hai. manushy nam ki chiz kitana b da saty hai, aur manushy jin chizoan ko lekar gutabandi karata hai, l d marata hai, ve sab kitani jhoothi haian- bhagavan ne yah sab bat jis din gora ko mujhe diya usi din samajha di thi- beta, vahian akar bhagavan sabako milate haian aur svayan bhi a milate hai. unhe hatakar mantr aur matavad par milane ka bhar chho d dene se tho de hi chalega?"

anandamee ke pairoan ki dhool lekar vinay ne kaha, "maan, tumhari bat mujhe bahut achchhi lagi. mera aj ka din sarthak hua."

pareshababoo ke parivar mean sucharita ki mausi harimohini ko lekar ek vikat ashaanti phail gee. usaka vivaran dene se pahale sucharita ko harimohini ne apana jo parichay diya tha vahi sankshep mean bata dena hi thik hoga-

tumhari maan se maian do sal b di thi. pita ke yahaan ham donoan ke la d-pyar ki sima nahian thi, kyoanki hamare ghar mean tab tak keval ham donoan kanyaean hi janmian thian- aur koee shishu ghar mean nahian tha. chacha-kaka logoan ke dular ke mare ham logoan ke pair zamin par nahian p date the.

jab meri umr ath sal ki thi tab palasa ke vikhyat ray chaudhari parivar mean mera vivah hua. un logoan ka kul jitana b da tha dhan bhi vaisa hi tha. lekin bhagy mean sukh nahian likha tha. vivah ke samay dahej ki bat ko lekar mere sasur se pita ka jhag da ho gaya tha. mere pihar ke is aparadh ko sasural vale kabhi kshama nahian kar sake. sabhi kahate rahate- l dake ka doosara byah kar dean tab dekheange ki is l daki ki kya halat hoti hai. meri durdasha dekhakar hi pita ne pran kiya ki tha ki phir kisi dhani ke ghar l daki nahian deange. tabhi tumhari maan garib ghar mean byahi gee thian.

parivar bahut b da hone se mujhe ath-nau sal ki umr se hi rasoee karani p dati thi. pachas-sath log khane vale the. sabako khilakar kisi din mujhe nire bhat to kabhi dal-bhat par hi gujara karana p data tha. kisi din do baje khana milata tha to kisi-kisi din sham hi ho jati thi. bhojan karate hi sham ki rasoee mean jut jana p data tha. aur rat ko gyarah-barah baje jakar khane ka mauqa milata tha. sone ki koee nishchit jagah nahian thi, aant:pur mean jis din jisake pas tho di jagah mil jati usi ke pas p di rahati. kisi-kisi din to pidhe dalakar unhian par sona p data.

mere prati ghar mean sabaka jo anadar bhav tha usaka asar svami ke man par bhi hue bina n raha. kafi din se vah mujhe door hi door rakhate a rahe the.

is bich maian jab satrah sal ki thi tab mere ek l daki huee, manorama. l daki ko janm dene ke karan sasural mean meri halat aur bhi badatar ho gee. sare anadar aur apaman ke bich ek matr yah l daki hi meri saantvana aur anand thi. usake bap ya kisi doosare se manorama ko koee pyar nahian mila, isalie yah aur bhi mere pyar ki adhikari ban gee.

tin sal bad jab mere l daka hua tab se meri halat kuchh sudharane lagi. tab se maian grihini gini jane layaq samajhi gee. meri sas to thi nahian- manorama ke janm ke do sal bad sasur bhi mar ge the. unaki mrityu ke bad jayadad ke bare mean devaroan se mukadamebazi hone lagi. aant mean bahut-si pooanji luta dene ke bad bantavara ho gaya.

manorama ke vivah ka samay aya. kahian vah bahut door n chali jay, kahian use phir dekh n paooan, isi ashanka se palasa se paanch-chh: kos ki doori par simul namak gaanv mean use byah diya. dekhane mean l daka kartikey-sa suandar tha- jaisa rang vaisa roop- ghar bhi achchha khata-pita tha.

apaman aur kasht ke din pahale jaise bitate rahe the, suhag mit jane ke pahale kuchh din vidhata ne mujhe vaisa hi sukh bhi dikhaya. pichhale dinoan mean pati mujhe b da man dene lage the aur mujhase salah li‍e bina koee kam nahian karate the. lekin itana saubhagy mean kaise sahati! haija phaila, char din ke aantar par l daka aur svami donoan mar ge. jis du:kh ki kalpana bhi asahy jan p dati hai use bhi manushy sah leta hai, shayad yahi batane ke lie eeshvar ne mujhe bacha liya.

dhire-dhire jamaee ka asali parichay milane laga. suandar phool ke bhitar aisa kala saanp chhipa rah sakata hai, yah kaun soch sakata tha? vah kusangati mean p dakar sharabi ho gaya hai, meri l daki ne bhi mujhe yah nahian bataya tha. jab-tab jamaee akar tarah-tarah ki zarooratean batakar mujhase rupaya maang le jata tha. duniya mean mujhe to kisi ke lie paisa jo d rakhane ki zaroorat thi nahian, isalie jamaee jab manuhar karake mujhase kuchh maangata to mujhe achchha hi lagata. bich-bich mean meri l daki mujhe tok deti thi, phatakarakar yah bhi kahati ki tumhian aise paise dekar unaki adatean aur biga d rahi ho- rupaya hath ate hi vah use kahaan kaise u da dete haian isaka koee thikana nahian hai. maian sochati, mujhase usaki svami ke aise rupaya lene se usaki sasural valoan ka apaman hoga isi dar se shayad manorama mujhe mana karati rahati hai

phir mujhe n jane kya soojhi ki maian apani l daki se chhipakar jamaee ko usaki sharab ke paise dene lagi. manorama ko jab pata laga to ek din usane mujhe ro-rokar apane svami ke kalank ki poori kahani suna di. maian to sir pak dakar baith gee. vah sab du:kh ki bat aur kya bataooan, mere hi ek devar ki buri sangati aur protsahan ke karan jamaee itana big d gaya tha.

jab maianne rupaya dena band kar diya, aur jab use yah sandeh ho gaya ki meri l daki ne hi mujhe mana kiya hai, tab vah aur bhi khulakar khelane laga. usane itana atyachar aranbh kiya tatha sabhi ke samane meri l daki ka itana apaman karane laga ki usase bachane ke lie maian phir l daki se chhipakar use rupaya dene lagi. maian janati thi ki maian use rasatal ko bhej rahi hooan, lekin vah manorama ko kitana asahy kasht de raha hai sunakar maian rah nahian pati thi.

aant mean ek din- mujhe bahut achchhi tarah yad hai, magh ke mahine ke akhiri din the. garmi us sal jaldi hi p dane lagi thi, ham log batean kar rahe the ki 'abhi se hamare aauangan ke am ke pe d mean baur a gaya hai.' usi magh ke ek din tisare pahar daravaze par akar ek palaki ruki. maianne dekha, manorama ne hansate-hansate akar mujhe pranam kiya. maianne poochha, "kaho manoo, tum logoan ki kya khabar hai?"

hansakar manorama ne kaha, "kyoan, jab tak koee khabar n ho yoan hi kya maan ke ghar nahian a sakate?"

meri samadhin aisi buri nahian thi. unhoanne mujhe kahala bheja ki bahoo ke santan hone vali hai. santan hone tak usaka maan ke pas rahana hi achchha hai. maian samajhi ki thik yahi bat hogi. yah maian nahian samajh saki ki jamaee ne is halat mean hi manorama ko marana-pitana shuroo kar diya hai aur kisi anisht ke dar se hi samadhin ne apani bahoo ko mere pas bhej diya hai. manoo aur usaki sas ne milakar mujhe bhulave mean rakha. manorama ko maian apane hath se tel malakar nahalana chahati to vah tarah-tarah ke bahane karake tal deti. asal mean usaki komal deh par mar ke jo nishan the unhian ko vah meri nazaroan se chhipana chahati thi.

bich-bich mean jamaee akar manorama ko lauta le jane ke lie halla-gulla kiya karata. l daki ke mere pas rahate use rupe ke lie hath karane mean badha hoti. lekin yah jhijhak bhi dhire-dhire usane chho d di aur rupe ke lie manorama ke samane bhi mujhe tang karane laga. manorama zid kahati, "bilh‍kul rupaya mat do!" lekin mera man b da durbal tha- kahian jamaee meri l daki par aur adhik n big d uthe is bhay se use kuchh die bina mujhase n raha jata tha.

manorama ne ek din kaha, "maan, tumhara rupaya-paisa sab maian rakhooangi." aur yah kahakar vah mere chabi-bakse par qabza kar baithi. jamaee ne jakar jab mujhase kuchh pane ka upay n dekha aur jab manorama ko bhi kisi tarah n pighala saka tab bola, "manjhali bahoo ke ghar le jaooanga." maian manorama se kahati, "de de beti, use kuchh rupaya dekar vida kar de- nahian to n jane kya kar baithega!" lekin meri manorama ek taraph jitani naram thi doosari taraph utani hi k di thi. vah kahati, "nahian, rupaya kisi tarah nahian diya jaega."

ek din jamaee akar aauankhean lal karake bole, "kal maian tisare pahar palaki bhej dooanga. bahoo ko agar n bheja to achchha nahian hoga, kahe deta hooan."

agale din sham se pahale hi palaki ane par manorama se maianne kaha, "beti aur der karana thik nahian hai, agale haphte hi phir tumhean lane ke lie kisi ko bhej dooangi."

manorama ne kaha, "aj rahane do maan, aj mera jane ko man nahian hota, do-ek din bad ane ko kah do!"

maianne kaha, "beti, palaki lauta dene se big dail jamaee kya chho dega? jane do manoo, tum aj hi chali jao!"

manoo ne kaha, "nahian maan, aj mere sasur kalakatta ge hue haian, phagun ke madhh‍y tak laut aeange- tab jaooangi."

phir bhi maianne kaha, "nahian beti, chali hi jao."

tab manorama taiyar ho gee.

maian usaki sasural ke naukar aur palaki vale kaharoan ko khilane-pilane ke prabandh mean lagi rahi. jane se pahale usake pas tho di der baith looan ya use apane hathoan se saja dooan, ya use jo khana achchha lagata hai vahi use khilakar pyar-jatan ke sath use vida karooan, isaka avakash hi nahian mila. palaki par savar hone se pahale mujhe pranam karake pairoan ki dhool lete hue usane kaha, "maan, to maian ja rahi hooan."

vah sachamuch hi ja rahi thi, yah kya tab maian janati thi. vah jana nahian chahati thi, maianne hi use zabaradasti vida kar diya- is du:kh se meri chhati ab phat rahi hai- ab vah kisi tarah ju da nahian sakegi.

usi rat mean garbhapat hone se manorama ki mrityu ho gee. mujhe yah khabar milane se pahale chhipakar b di shighrata se usaka dah-sanskar kiya ja chuka tha.

jisake bare mean kuchh kaha nahian ja sakata, kuchh kiya nahian ja sakata, sochakar par nahian paya ja sakata, rokar jise chukaya nahian ja sakata, vah du:kh bhi kaisa du:kh hai tum nahian samajh sakogi- samajhane ki aisi zaroorat bhi nahian hai. mera to sab-kuchh chala gaya, lekin phir bhi musibat nahian chuki. svami aur putr ki mrityu ke bad se meri jayadad par devaroan ki niyat thi. ve janate the ki mere marane par zamin-jayadad sab unhian ki hogi, lekin jab tak pratiksha karane ka bhi dhairy unamean nahian tha. isake lie kisi ko dosh kya dooan, sachamuch mujh-jaisi abhagini ka jite rahana bhi bhari aparadh hai. duniya mean jinaki anek zarooratean haian, mujh-jaise prayojanahin jiv ke akaran unaki jagah ghere rahana log kaise sah sakate haian?

manorama jab tak thi tab tak maian devaroan ki kisi bat ke bhulave mean nahian aee. jahaan tak ho saka apani jayadad par apane adhikar ke lie l dati rahi. maian jab tak jiti hooan manorama ke lie rupaya jutati rahakar use de jaooangi, yahi mera nishchay tha. apani l daki ke lie maian rupaya jutane ki koshish kar rahi hooan, yahi mere devaroan ke lie asahy ho raha tha- unhean lagata tha ki maian unaka hi dhan chura rahi hooan. nilakaant svami ka ek purana vishvasi karmachari tha, vahi mera sahayak tha. maian agar apana pavana kuchh chho dakar apas mean kuchh nibatara karane ki koshish bhi karati to vah kisi tarah raji n hota- vah kahata, "hamare hak ka ek paisa bhi koee kaise leta hai, dekhooanga." isi hak ki l daee ke chalate hi meri l daki ki mrityu ho gee. usake agale din hi mere manjhale devar ne akar mujhe vairagy ka upadesh diya. bole, "bhabhi, eeshvar ne tumhari jo halat kar di hai usake bad grihasthi mean rahana ab thik nahian hai. jitane din jina hai tirth mean jakar dharm-karm mean man lagao. ham log tumhare khane-pahanane ka bandobast kar deange."

apane kul-purohit ko maianne bula bheja. unase kaha, "thakur, is asahy du:kh se bachane ka upay bata do- mujhe uthate-baithate kahian ek kshan ko shaanti nahian hai-maian mano charoan or se ag se ghir gee hooan. jahaan jati hooan, jidhar jati hooan, yantrana se mukti ka kahian koee rasta nahian dekh pati."

mujhe guru hamare thakur dvare ke bhitar le ge aur bele, "yah gopivallabh hi tumhare svami, putr kanya sab-kuchh haian. inaki seva karane se hi tumhare sab du:kh door hoange."

din-rat maian thakuraghar mean hi p di rahati. maiann b di koshish ki ki apana sara man thakur ko hi sauanp dooan-lekin vahi n apanaean to maian dooan kaise? aur unhoanne apanaya hi kahaan?

maianne nilakaant ko bulakar kaha, "niloo dada, maianne tay kar liya hai ki apani sab sanpatti devaroan ke hi nam kar dooangi. khurak ke lie ve log har mahine kuchh rupaya de diya kareange."

nilakaant ne kaha, "yah kabhi nahian ho sakega. tum aurat ho, in sab batoan mean mat a jana."

maianne kaha, "mujhe ab jayadad ka karana kya hai?"

nilakaant ne kaha, "aisa kahane se nahian chalega. hamara jo hak hai use ham chho deange kyoan? aisa pagalapan mat karana!"

hak se b da nilakaant ko aur kuchh dikhata hi nahian tha. maian b di mushkil mean p d gee. jayadad mujhe vish-si lag rahi thi, lekin sansar mean mera ekamatr vishvasi yah nilakaant hi tha, isalie usake man mean maian chot kaise pahuanchati? vahi to itane du:kh mean mere us ek hak ki raksha karata aya tha.

aant mean ek din maianne nilakaant se chhipakar ek kagaz par sahi kar di. usamean kya likha tha achchhi tarah maianne dekha-samajha bhi nahian. maianne socha tha, sahi karane mean harj kya hai- aisa maian rakhana hi kya chahati hooan jo kisi ke thag lene ka bhay ho. sab-kuchh to mere sasur ka tha, unake l dake le leange to le lean.

likha-padhi ki rajistri ho jane par maianne nilakaant ko bulakar kaha, "niloo dada, naraz mat hona, mera jo kuchh tha maianne usaki likha-padhi kar di hai, mujhe kisi se kuchh lena-dena nahian hai."

ghabarakar nilakaant ne kaha, "aian-kya kar diya tumane?"

kagaz padhakar nikaant ne jab dekh liya ki maianne sachamuch apana sab adhikar chho d diya hai, tab usake krodh ki sima n rahi. svami ki mrityu ke bad se mera hak bachana hi usake jivan ka ek matr avalanban tha. usaki sari budhdi, sari shakti barabar isi kary mean lagi rahati thi. isi ke lie mamala-mukadama, vakil ke ghar dau dana, aeen-kanoon khoj nikalana, isi sab mean vah sukhi tha- yahaan tak ki apana ghar sanbhalane ki bhi use phurasat n hoti thi. vahi hak ek nirbodh stri ne jab kalam ke ek jhatake se mita diya tab nilakaant ko shaant karana asanbhav ho gaya.

vah bola, "khair, ab yahaan se mera sanbandh chuk gaya, maian chala."

aant mean aise naraz hokar niloo dada bhi mujhe chho d jaeange, mere sasural ke bhagy ki akhari likhat kya yahi thi? maianne usaki b di mintean kian, use bulakar samajhaya, "dada, mujh par krodh mat karo, maianne kuchh rupaya jo d rakha tha, usamean se yah paanch sau rupaya tumhean de rahi hooan- jis din tumhare l dake ki bahoo aegi us din inase usake gahane banavakar mere ashirvad ke sath de dena."

nilakaant ne kaha, "mujhe aur rupaya nahian chahie. hamari milkiyat ka sab-kuchh hi jab chala gaya tab yah paanch sau rupaya lekar mujhe santosh nahian hoga. vah rahane do." yah kahakar mere svami ka aantim sachcha bandhu bhi mujhe chho dakar chala gaya.

maianne thakuradvare mean sharan li. devaroan ne kaha, "tum tirth karane jao!"

maianne kaha, "meri sasural hi mera tirth hai, aur jahaan thakur haian vahian mera ashray hai."

lekin ghar ke kisi zara kone par bhi maian adhikar kie rahooan, yah unake lie asahy hone laga. is bich unhoanne hamare ghar mean apana mal-asabab lakar tay kar liya tha ki kaun-sa kamara kis kam mean laya jaega. aant mean unhoanne kaha, "apane thakur ko tum le ja sakati ho- usamean ham log apatti nahian kareange."

maianne jab isamean anakani ki tab ve bole, "yahaan tumhara kharcha kaise chalega?"

maianne kaha, "kyoan, tum logoan ne jo khurak tay ki hai vahi mere lie yathesht hogi."

unhoanne kaha, "kahaan, khurak ki to koee bat nahian hai."

tab apane vivah ke thik chauantis sal bad ek din maian thakur ko lekar sasural se nikal p di. niloo dada ki khoj karane jane par pata chala ki vah mujhase pahale hi vriandavan chale ge haian.

gaanv ke tirth-yatriyoan ke sath maian kashi pahuanchi. lekin papi man ko kahian shaanti nahian mili. roj thakur ko pukarakar kahati, "thakur, mere pati mere beta-beti mere lie jitane saty the. tum bhi mere lie utane hi saty ho jao!" lekin meri prarthana vah kahaan sunate the! mera man kisi tarah n sanbhalata, mera sara sharir-man rota rahata. bap re bap! manushy ki jan bhi kitani sakht hoti hai!

maian ath varsh ki umr mean sasural gee thi, tab se ek din ke lie bhi pihar nahian a saki. tumhari maan ke vivah ke samay ane ki b di koshish ki thi, koee natija nahian nikala. phir baba ki chitthi se hi tum logoan ke janm ki aur phir bahan ki mrityu ki khabar mili. maan ki god se vanchit hue tum logoan ko ek bar maian apani god mean bitha sakooan, ab tak eeshvar ne aisa suyog nahian dikhaya.

tirth ghoomakar jab yah dekh liya ki maya ab bhi man ko ghere hue hai, kisi apani chiz ko pane ke lie hriday ki trishna abhi nahian mari- tab tum logoan ki khoj karane lagi. suna tha ki tumhare pita dharm chho dakar, samaj chho dakar alag ho ge the. lekin usase kya hota- tumhari maan meri sagi bahan jo thi.

kashi mean ek bhale adami the. tum logoan ka pata pakar yahaan aee hooan. suna hai pareshababoo thakur-devata kuchh nahian manate, lekin thakur un par prasann haian, yah unaka chehara dekhate hi pata chal jata hai. pooja pakar hi thakur bhool nahian jate, yah maian khoob janati hooan. pareshababoo ne unhean kaise vash mean kar liya isaka pata lagaooangi. jo ho bitiya, mere akele rahane ka samay abhi nahian aya- vah maian nahian kah sakati- thakur jab daya karean.... lekin tab tak tumhean chhati se lagae rakhe bina maian nahian rah sakooangi.

varadasuandari ki anupasthiti mean pareshababoo ne harimohini ko ashray diya tha. chhat par akele kamare mean unhean sthan dekar aisi vyavastha kar di thi ki apane achar ka palan karane mean unhean koee vighn n ho.

lautakar varadasuandari apani grih-vyavastha ke bich yah akalpit pradurbhav dekhakar ekadam jal-bhun geean b de tikhe svar mean unhoanne pareshababoo se kaha, "yah mujhase nahian hoga."

pareshababoo ne kaha, "ham sabako tum sah sakati ho, aur us ek anathini vidhava ko nahian sah sakogi?"

varadasuandari janati thi ki lok-vyavahar ka jnan pareshababoo ko bilh‍kul nahian hai. kisi bat se duniya mean kya suvidha ya asuvidha hoti hai is bare mean vah kabhi kuchh sochate hi nahian, sahasa ek-n-ek kam kar baithate haian. usake bad koee chahe gussa kare, big de ya roe-dhoe, vah ekadam patthar ki moorti bane baithe rahate haian. bhala aise adami se kaun nibah sakata hai? zaroorat hone par jisake sath jhag da bhi n kiya ja sake usake sath kaun stri grihasthi chala sakati hai!

sucharita aur manorama ki umr lagabhag ek hi thi. harimohini ko lagane laga ki dekhane mean bhi sucharita bahat-kuchh manorama-si hi hai, aur svabhav bhi usase milata-julata hai- vaisi hi shaant aur vaisi hi dridh. kabhi-kabhi achanak pith ki taraph se use dekhakar harimohini ka hriday ekaek chauank uthata. kisi-kisi din saanjh ke aandhakar mean vah ni:shabd akeli baithakar ro rahi hotian, tab sucharita ke pas ane par palakean band karake use donoan hathoan se khianchakar chhati se lagakar kah uthatian, "aha, mujhe lag raha hai ki usi ko maian chhati se lagae hooan. vah jana nahian chahati thi, zabaradasti maianne use bhej diya-duniya mean kya kabhi kisi tarah meri yah saza poori n hogi. shayad jo dand milana tha, mil chuka- ab vah phir a gee hai- yahi to laut aee hai- vaisi hi hansati huee laut aee hai- meri bitiya, meri mani-manik, mera dhan!"

aisa kahakar sucharita ke sare chehare par hath pherakar use choomakar vah aauansuoan mean doobi rahatian, sucharita ki aauankhoan mean bhi aauansoo a jate. vah mausi ki gardan mean hath dalakar kahati, "mausi, maian bhi to maan ka pyar bahut din nahian pa saki, vahi khoee huee maan aj phir laut aee haian. kitani bar kitane du:kh ke samay jab eeshvar ko pukarane ki shakti nahian rahi, jab bhitar-hi-bhitar man toot gaya hai, tab maianne maan ko pukara hai. aj vahi maan meri pukar sunakar a gee hai."

harimohini kahatian, "aisa mat kah, mat kah. teri bat sunakar mujhe itana anand hota hai ki maian dar jati hooan. he thakur, idhar dhh‍yan n dena thakur! sochati hooan ki aur moh nahian karooangi, man ko path‍thar karake rakhooangi, lekin mujhase hota nahian. maian b di durbal hooan, mujh par daya karo, mujhe aur mat maro! nahian, radharani, too ja, chali ja, mujhe chho d ja- mujhe phir mat baandh, mat baandh! mere gopi vallabh, mere jivan nath, mere gopal, mere nilamani‍, mujhe phir kis janjal mean dal rahe haian....!"

sucharita kahati, "tum mujhe zabaradasti nahian hata sakogi mausi, maian tumhean kabhi nahian chho dooangi- barabar isi tarah tumhare pas hi rahooangi."

vah yah kahakar mausi ki chhati mean sir chhipakar shishu-si chup baithi rahati.

sucharita ke sath do din mean hi usaki mausi ka aisa gahara sanbandh ho gaya ki us tho de-se samay se usaki tulana nahian ho sakati.

isase bhi varadasuandari virakt hueean. "is l daki ko to dekho! jaise hamane kabhi isako la d-pyar hi nahian kiya. maian poochhati hooan, itane din mausi kahaan thi? bachapan se hi pal-posakar hamane b da kiya, aur aj mausi ka nam sunate hi jaise hamean pahachanati hi nahian. maian barabar unase kahati rahi hooan, tum log jo sab sucharita ko achchha-achchha kahate ho, vah bahar se bhi bhali manas dikhati hai, lekin usake man ki thah pana saral nahian hai. itane din hamane usake lie jo kuchh kiya, sab nishphal ho gaya hai."

varadasuandari ka dard pareshababoo nahian samajheange, yah vah janati thi. itana hi nahian, harimohini ke prati virakti prakat karane se vah pareshababoo ki nazaroan mean gir jaeangi, isamean bhi unhean zara sandeh nahian tha. isase unaka gussa aur bhi badh gaya tha. pareshababoo chahe jo kahean, lekin adhikaansh budhdiman logoan ki ray varadasuandari se hi milati hai, yahi sabit karane ke lie vah apana gut badhane ki cheshta karane lagian. apane samaj ke pradhan-apradhan sabhi logoan ke sath vah harimohini ke mamale ki charcha karane lagian. harimohini ka hiandoopan, unaki thakur-pooja, ghar mean l dake-l dakiyoan par usaka bura prabhav, is sabako lekar unake aropoan ka aant nahian tha.

keval doosaroan ke samane charcha tak hi bat nahian thi, varadasuandari sabhi tarah se harimohini ko tang bhi karane lagi. harimohini ke chauka-basan ke lie jo ahir bera pani khianch deta tha, thik samay par use vah doosare kam mean laga detian. us sanbandh mean koee bat chalane par use vah doosare kam mean laga detian. us sanbandh mean koee bat chalane par vah kah detian, "kyoan, ramadin to hai" ramadin jat ka dusadhatha, vah janati thian ki usake hath ka pani harimohini kam mean nahian laeangi. koee yah bat kahata to vah javab detian, "itani bahmanaee karani ho to hamare brahm ghar mean kyoan aeean?" aise mamaloan ko lekar unaki kartavy-bhavana b di prakhar ho uthati hai. vah kahatian, brahm-samaj mean dhire-dhire samajik shaithily bahut badhata ja raha hai, isilie brahm-samaj koee kam nahian kar pa raha hai. jahaan tak unaka zor chalega vah is shaithily mean yog nahian deangi-kabhi nahian. is par agar koee galat samajhe to vah bhi unhean svikar hai, aur agar ghar ke log hi virudhd ho jaean to use bhi vah sir jhukakar sah leangi. duniya mean jin mahapurushoan ne koee bhi b da kam kiya hai, un sabhi ko nianda aur virodh sahana p da hai, is bat ki vah sabhi ko yad dilane lagian.

lekin koee asuvidha harimohini ko nahian hara sakati thi. unhoanne jaise pran kar liya tha ki ve krishh‍n-sadhana ki charam-sima tak pahuanch jaeangi. unhoanne bhitar jo asahy du:kh paya hai mano bahar bhi usase samanjasy banae rakhane ke lie vah pratidin kathor achar ke dvara ne kashtoan ka srijan karati huee chalati thian. is tarah svechchha se du:kh ko varan karake use atmiy banakar vash mean karane ka hi unako abhyas tha.

jab harimohini ne dekha ki pani ki asuvidha hoti hai tab unhoanne bhojan pakane ka kam bilh‍kul chho d hi diya. thakur ke samane nivedan karake prasad-svaroop doodh aur phal par hi din katane lagian. isase sucharita ko bahut du:kh hua kiantu mausi ne use yah kahakar samajha-bujha diya ki, "yah mere lie bahut achchha hua hai, beti! mujhe aisa hi chahie tha. mujhe isamean koee kasht nahian hai, balki anand hi hai."

sucharita ne poochha, "mausi, agar maian doosari jati ke hath ka khana-pani n looan to tum mujhe apana kam karane dogi?"

harimohini bolian, "kyoan beti, jo dharm tum manati ho usi ke anusar chalo- mere lie tumhean doosare marg par nahian chalana hoga. maianne tumhean paya hai, tum mere pas ho, roz tumhean dekh pati hooan, yahi mera anand hai. pareshababoo tumhare guru haian, pita haian, jo shiksha unhoanne tumhean di hai, tum usi ko manakar chalo, usi se bhagavan tumhara mangal kareange."

varadasuandari ke sare atyachar harimohini aise sahane lagian mano vah kuchh samajhi hi n hoan. pareshababoo jab akar unase poochhate, "kaisi haian, koee asuvidha to nahian hai n?" tab vah kah detian, "maian bahut sukh se hooan."

lekin sucharita ko varadasuandari ke atyachar barabar akharate rahate. vah shikayat karane vali nahian thi, aur pareshababoo ke samane varadasuandari ke vyavahar ki bat to vah kisi prakar n kah sakati. chupachap vah bhi sab-kuchh sahati rahi, in sab mamaloan mean kisi prakar ka virodh karane mean use b da sankoch hota.

isaka parinam yahi hua ki dhire-dhire sucharita sanpoornataya apani mausi ke sath ho gee. mausi ke bar-bar mana karane par bhi khane-pine ke sanbandh mean vah poornataya harimohini ki anuvarti hokar chalane lagi. aant mean yah dekhakar ki sucharita ko kasht hota hai, vivash hokar harimohini ne phir rasoee karana aranbh kar diya. sucharita ne kaha, "mausi, tum mujhe jaise rahane ko kahogi maian vaise hi rahooangi, lekin tumhare lie pani maian svayan khianchakar laooangi- vah maian kisi tarah nahian chho dooangi."

harimohini ne kaha, "beti, tum bura mat manana, lekin usi jal se mujhe thakur ka bhog bhi to lagana hota hai."

sucharita ne kaha, "mausi, kya tumhare thakur bhi jati manate haian? kya unhean bhi pap lagata hai- kya unaka bhi samaj hai?"

aant mean sucharita ki nishtha ke age ek din harimohini ko har manani hi p di. sucharita ki seva ko unhoanne sanpoorn bhav se grahan kar liya. satish bhi didi ki dekha-dekhi 'mausi ki rasoee khaooanga' ke moh mean a gaya. is prakar in tinoan ke mil jane se pareshababoo ke ghar ke kone mean alag ek chhoti-si grihasthi jut gee. akeli lita hi in donoan ke bich setu-si bani rah gee. varadasuandari apani aur kisi l daki ko idhar phatakane bhi n detian, lekin lalita ko mana kar sakane ki himmat unamean nahian thi.

sanbandhit lekh

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