"lekin maian to bilkul naya bhoot hooan. kal hi to mara hooan. sara din kahaan katooanga, kahaan soooanga, kya khaooanga ?" bhoot ne bhootistan ke mainejar se poochha.
"abhi-abhi mare ho...naye-naye bhoot bane ho... aur ek dam se rahane ke lie flॅt chahie ? rool to rool hai... sabake lie barabar hai tumako bataya na ! pahale 10 logoan ko darao to khatiya milegi sone ko... usake bad 25 logoan ko dara loge to ek kamara mil jayega isi tarah 100 par flॅt aur 500 par bangala aur naukar-chakar bhi... samajh gaye !... aur khane ka kya rona ro rahe ho ?... bhoot log, khana-vana nahian khate haian... are filmean nahian dekhate the... kya kabhi dekha tha kisi bhoot ko khana khate ?" mainejar ne samajhaya.
"lekin sar ji ! ye to bataiye ki logoan ko darate kaise haian ?"
"kamal ke bhoot ho yar tum bhi... are ! iansan ko darane mean kya hai, kisi ko akela dekho aur dara do bas... tumane gayab hone ki... prakat hone ki... traansaperent hone ki sari treniang kar li haian na ?... agar nahian ki to samane shisha laga hai, kar lo"
bhoot ne dharati par akar darane ke lie 'klaint' dekhana shuroo kar diya... s dak ke kinare ek buzurg mahila dikhi-
"vah ! akeli aanti, sunasan s dak, rat ka vaqt, maza a jaega darane mean..." bhoot ne socha... aur achanak us aurat ke samane vaise hi prakat ho gaya jaise ki dharmik siriyaloan mean devata aur rakshas prakat ho jate haian...
lekin ye kya ?... us aurat par to koee farq hi nahian p da...
"e ! hॅlo aanti ji ! dar nahian lagata kya ?"
"lagata hai beta ! bahut lagata hai ki kahian koee kar takkar n mar de. isilie to intazar kar rahi thi ki boodhi andhi ko koee rasta par kara de."
"oho ! to apako dikhata nahian hai... no problam ! maian apako rasta par kara deta hooan"
"jite raho beta ! jug-jug jio...!"
kisi ko darane ki pahali koshish bekar gee. buzurg mahila ko rasta par karane ke bad bhoot pas hi ek kothi mean ghus gaya. kothi par jo nam likha tha usase aandaza laga ki koee siniyar edavoket hai. aandar dekha to apane aaufis mean vakil sahab kam kar rahe the.
"are ! ye to poori kothi mean akela hai. ise to dara-dara ke mar looanga."
vakil ke samane bhoot achanak prakat ho kar kursi par samane baith gaya. vakil sahab ek fail mean khoe hue the unhoanne dhyan hi nahian diya. bhoot ne khisiya kar halke se mez thapathapaee.
"sar... ! sar... !"
"haan bolo ! kya bat hai kya kes hai tumhara?" vakil sahab ne sir utha kar poochha.
"sar ! apaki kothi charoan taraf se band hai, phir bhi maian aandar a gaya, bataiye kaise ?" bhoot ne socha ki pahale khud ko 'asali' bhoot sabit karana zaroori hai.
"sirf yahi poochhane ke lie tum mere pas ae ho ? dont vest mai taim. apana kes batao ?"
"lekin maian bhoot hooan asali vala bhoot. marane ke bad adami bhoot banata hai na vo vala bhoot..."
"marane ke bad ? yani tumhara 'mardar kes' hai. o.ke."
"nahian-nahian maian to eksident mean mara tha..."
"achchha... to kampanaseshan ka mamala hai, muavaza chahie tumhean..."
"sar meri bat to sunie ! mujhe koee kes nahian l dana hai, maian to apako batana chahata hooan ki maian ek bhoot hooan aur...."
vakil ne bat kati...
"shatap ! rat ko das baje tum mujhe ye bakavas sunane ae ho ki tum bhoot ho...tumako koee kes to karana nahian hai falatoo mera vaqt kyoan barabad kar rahe ho"
"sar maian gayab ho sakata hooan... ap vishvas to kijie..."
"tum yahaan gayab hone aye ho ?... jab gayab hi hona tha to aye hi kyoan ? tumhean mera hi ghar mila tha is jadoogari ko dikhane ke lie... aur vo bhi rat ke das baje ? apana, ye gayab hone ka tamasha mujhe hi kyoan dikhana chahate ho jakar bachchoan ko entaraten karo... ab jao bhi..."
"sar maian sabit karana chahata hooan ki maian bhoot hooan"
"tumako jo bhi sabit karana hai adalat mean karana... yahaan mere ghar mean sabit karake kya hoga... ab jao aur mujhe kam karane do."
doosara anubhav pahale se bhi zyada bekar nikala. bhoot ruanasa hokar vakil ke ghar se chala aya aur s dak par chalati ek kar mean ghus gaya. kar ek adhe d mahila chala rahi thi.
"ha ha ha ha! maian ap ki kar mean kaise aya ? " bhoot ne pichhali sit par baith kar banavati hansi ke sath kaha.
"kyoanki maian, aj parkiang mean apani kar l aauk karana bhool gee aur isamean ap chhup ke baith gaye... khair chho die... ap hi bataie... ye to apako hi pata hoga... kyoanki kar mean ghuse to ap haian na !" mahila shaant bhav se boli
"maian ek bhoot hooan, sachamuch ka jita-jagata daravana bhoot ha ha ha ha"
"achchhaaaa to ap bhoot haian ? to bhoot ji ! tho da itminan se shaant baithie, maian zara draiv kar rahi hooan o.ke, vaise apaka nam kya hai ?"
"mera koee nam nahian hai. maian bhoot hooan aur apako darana chahata hooan. apako darana hi hoga"
"thik hai maian pr aaumis karati hooan ki maian apase darooangi lekin pahale ham vahaan pahuanch jayean jahaan ja rahe haian"
"ham kahaan ja rahe haian ?"
"ham mental h aauspital ja rahe haian. aj meri nait shift hai, maian d aauktar hooan... saikayatrist hooan. h aauspital pahuanch kar sabase pahale apase khooaaab darooangi jisase apako aisa na lage ki ap bhoot nahian haian, o.ke.. nau kam daun, bi rileksd, tek dip bred. lanbi-lanbi saans lijie aur aankhean band kar lijie. jast rileks... maian apake lie achchha sa myoozik lagati hooan..."
bhoot, dukhi hokar kar se gayab ho gaya. agali rat shuroo hote hi vah ek k aauloni ke park mean pahuanch gaya jahaan kuchh bachche khel rahe the. yahaan bhi bhoot achanak prakat hua to bachchoan mean se ek ne poochha-
"ap ekadam se kaise yahaan a gaye... ? mॅjik se... ?" ek bachcha bola
"mॅjik nahian hai ye, maian to bhoot hooan bhoot." bhoot bola
"v aauv ! matalab riyal bhoot !" doosara bola
"o bette ! maza a gaya" tisara bola
bas phir to saval javab aur bhoot ke jadoo sab kuchh shuroo ho gaya aur bhoot bhi bhool gaya ki vah yahaan bachchoan ko darane aya tha.
ab hamare pas bhoot-voot se darane ka samay nahian hai. bhoot to kya bhagavan bhi samane a jaean to vo bhi dukhi ho jaeange hamare vyavahar se kyoanki ham vyast haian aur khud hi mean mast haian. ye duniya badal gee hai... achanak to nahian dhire-dhire badalati ja rahi hai. log vyast ho ge haian... aur is vyastata ke abhyast ho ge haian. aksar sunane mean ata hai ki are ! kya karean ? itana kam hai ki 'marane' ka bhi taim nahian hai. jabaki sachchaee yah hai ki itana kam hai ki 'jine' ka bhi samay nahian hai. man lijie ki ye bhoot agar mere pas ata to ho sakata hai ki maian, isase bhi bharatakosh par kam karane ke lie kahata aur ye khayal mere man mean nahian ata ki are ! ye to bhoot hai. meri halat bhi kuchh alag nahian hai.
is vyastata ka ek karan, hamara bahut asani se har ek ke lie upalabdh hona bhi hai. yadi ap kisi se sampark karana chahean to mobail fon, ee-mel, es.em.es adi se turant sampark kar sakate haian. pratyek gatividhi ki janakari le sakate haian aur de sakate haian. isaka sidha-sa arth yah hai ki ap har samay apane parichitoan ke lie upalabdh haian. ve jab bhi chahean apase sampark kar sakate haian. isalie koee na koee parichit din mean aur kabhi-kabhi rat mean bhi hamase sampark karata rahata hai.
is nirantar upalabdhata ke karan ab kalakar, sahityakar aur rachanatmak kary karane vale any log apani krititv mean vah utkrishtata nahian la pate jo kuchh varshoan pahale hua karati thi. purane samay mean vidyarthi kala ka adhyayan karane guru ke pas jate the to varshoan tak apane parivar aur parichitoan se kate rahate the. unaka vidyadhyan ka sthan bhi ekaant aur shaant vatavaran mean hua karata tha. jahaan unaki sadhana mean koee anavashyak gatirodh utpann hona lagabhag asambhav hi hota tha.
aj ki sthiti itani bhinn hai ki lagatar kisi ek kary par yadi ek din ke lie bhi dhyan keandrit karane ka prayas kiya jaye to ye saralata se sambhav nahian hai. mobail ki ghanti ya koee es.em.es ya koee ee-mel apaka dhyan bhang karata rahega.
miyaan tanasen ke pas shastriy sangit sikhane ki garaz se ek vyakti aya aur usane poochha-
"maian kitane samay mean shastriy sangit sikh jaooanga ?"
"kam-se-kam barah varsh mean." miya tanasen ne uttar diya
"lekin maian pahale se hi shastriy sangit ka paryapt abhyas kar chuka hooan"
"phir to chaubis varsh lageange"
"aisa kyoan ?"
us vyakti ne ashchary vyakt kiya to miyaan tanasen ne use muskurakar javab diya
"barah varsh to us ashuddh sangit ko hi bhulane mean lag jayeange jisaka apane abhyas kiya hai aur usake bad phir ve barah varsh hoange jo ek poornat: kore kagaz ke saman aye vidyarthi ko lagate haian."
aj bhi yahi mana jata hai ki char varsh shastriy sangit sikhane mean aur char varsh usaka abhyas karane mean, phir aur char varsh usamean parangat hone mean lagate haian.
isi tarah sahity ka udaharan amar shayar 'mir taqi mir' ke jivan ki ek ghatana ka hai.
mir sahab ko bahut kasht mean dekhakar lakhanoo ke ek navab inhean bal-bachchoan ke sath apane ghar le gaye aur mahal ka ek bhag rahane ke lie de diya. baithak mean ek taraf ki khi dakiyaan band thian; unake samane hi ek suramy udyan tha. navab ne vah hissa isalie diya tha ki bag se inaka dil bahale, manoranjan ho par arsa bit gaya; khi dakiyaan vaise hi band p di rahi. mir sahab ne kabhi kholakar vatika ki or nahian dekha. ek din unake mitr unase milane aye. unhoanne kaha-
"idhar bag hai, khi dakiyaan kholakar kyoan nahian baithate ?"
mir sahab ashchary se bole-
"idhar bag bhi hai ?"
mitr ne kaha-
"isilie navab sahab apako yahaan laye haian ki ji badalata rahe aur man prasann ho."
mir sahab ke phate-purane masvide gajaloan ke p de the, unaki or sanket karake kaha-
"maian to is bag mean aisa laga hooan ki doosare bag ki mujhe khabar nahian."
aj ke samay mean kitana kathin hai koee bismilla khaan, b de gulam ali khaan, bhimasen joshi, kumar gandharv ya phir koee muanshi premachand, muktibodh, kalidas ya sheksapiyar dhooandhana...
ab yah to apako hi tay karana hai ki is sahaj-upalabdhata se upaji nirantar-vyastata kitani upayogi hai aur kitani anupayogi.
vaqt bahut kam hai yahaan, kam bahut zyada hai.
har pal, har lamhe ka dam bahut zyada hai॥
is saptah itana hi... agale saptah kuchh aur...
-adity chaudhari
sansthapak evan pradhan sampadak
