अभिलाषा -प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

kal pados men badi halachal machi. ek panavala apani stri ko mar raha tha. vah bechari baithi ro rahi thi, par us nirdayi ko us par leshamatr bhi daya n ati thi. akhir stri ko bhi krodh a gaya. usane khade hokar

kaha, bas, ab maroge, to thik n hoga. aj se mera tujhase koee snbndh nahin. main bhikh mangoongi, par tere ghar n aoongi. yah kahakar usane apani ek purani sadi uthaee aur ghar se nikal padi. purush kath ke ulloo ki

tarah khada dekhata raha. stri kuchh door chalakar phir lauti aur dookan ki sndookachi kholakar kuchh paise nikale. shayad abhi tak use mamata thi; par us nirday ne turant usaka hath pakadakar paise chhin liye. hay ri hridayahinata ! abala stri ke prati purush ka yah atyachar ! ek din isi stri par usane pran diye honge, usaka munh johata raha hoga; par aj itana nishthur ho gaya hai, mano kabhi ki jan-pahachan hi nahin. stri ne paise rakh diye aur bina kahe-sune chali gee. kaun jane kahan ! main apane kamare ki khidaki se ghnton dekhati rahi ki shayad vah phir laute ya shayad panavala hi use manane jay; par do men se ek bat bhi n huee. aj mujhe stri ki sachchi dasha ka pahali bar gyan hua.

yah dookan donon ki thi. purush to mataragashti kiya karata tha, stri rat-din baithi sati hoti thi. das-gyarah baje rat tak main use dookan par baithi dekhati thi. prat:kal nind khulati, tab bhi use baithi pati. noch-khasot, kat-kapat jitana purush karata tha, usase kuchh adhik hi stri karati thi. par purush sabakuchh hai, stri kuchh nahin ! purush jab chahe use nikal bahar kar sakata hai !

is samasya par mera chitt itana ashant ho gaya ki nind ankhon se bhag gee. barah baj gaye aur main baithi rahi. akash par nirmal chandani chhitaki huee thi. nishanath apane ratn-jatit sinhasan par garv se phoole baithe the. badal ke chhote-chhote tukade dhire-dhire chndrama ke samip ate the aur phir vikrit roop men prithakh ho jate the, mano shvetavasana sundariyan usake hathon dalit aur apamanit hokar rudan karati huee chali ja rahi hon. is kalpana ne mujhe itana vikal kiya ki mainne khidaki bnd kar di aur palng par a baithi. mere priyatam nidra men magn the. unaka tejamay mukhamndal is samay mujhe kuchh chndrama se hi milata-julata maloom hua. vahi sahas chhavi thi, jisase mere netr tript ho jate the. vahi vishal vaksh tha, jis par sir rakhakar main apane antastal men ek komal, madhur knpan ka anubhav karati thi. vahi sudridh banhen thin, jo mere gale men pad jati thin, to mere hriday men annd ki hiloren-si uthane lagati thin. par aj kitane din hue, mainne us mukh par hnsi ki ujjval rekha nahin

dekhi, n dekhane ko chitt vyakul hi hua. kitane din hue, mainne us vaksh par sir nahin rakha aur n vah banhen mere gale men padin. kyon ? kya main kuchh aur ho gee, ya patidev hi kuchh aur ho gaye.


abhi kuchh bahut din bhi to nahin bite, kul panch sal hue hain qul panch sal, jab patidev ne vikasit netron aur lalayit adharon se mera svagat kiya tha. main lajja se gardan jhukaye hue thi. hriday men kitani prabal utkntha ho rahi thi ki unaki mukh-chhavi dekh loon; par lajjavash sir n utha sakati. akhir ek bar mainne himmat karake ankhen uthaeen aur yadyapi drishti adhe raste se hi laut aee, to bhi us ardh-darshan se mujhe jo annd mila, kya use kabhi bhool sakati hoon. vah chitr ab bhi mere hriday-pat par khincha hua hai. jab kabhi usaka smaran a jata hai, hriday pulakit ho uthata hai. us annd-smriti men ab bhi vahi gudagudi, vahi sanasani hai ! lekin ab rat-din us chhavi ke darshan karati hoon. ushakal, prat:kal, madhayahnakal, sndhyakal,

nishakal athon pahar usako dekhati hoon; par hriday men gudagudi nahin hoti. vah mere samane khade mujhase baten kiya karate hain. main kroshie ki or dekhati rahati hoon. jab vah ghar se nikalate the, to main dvar par akar khadi ho jati thi. aur, jab vah pichhe phirakar muskara dete the to mujhe mano svarg ka rajy mil jata tha. main tisare pahar kothe par chadh jati thi aur unake ane ki bat johane lagati thi. unako door se ate dekhakar main unmatt-si hokar niche ati aur dvar par jakar unaka abhivadan karati. par ab mujhe yah bhi nahin maloom hota ki vah kab jate aur kab ate hain. jab bahar ka dvar bnd ho jata hai, to samajh jati hoon ki vah chale gaye, jab dvar khulane ki avaz ati hai, to samajh jati hoon ki a gaye. samajh men nahin ata ki main hi kuchh aur ho gee ya patidev hi kuchh aur ho gaye. tab vah ghar men bahut n ate the. jab unaki avaz kanon men a

jati to meri deh men bijali-si daud jati thi. unaki chhoti-chhoti baton, chhote-chhote kamon ko bhi main anurakt, mugdh netron se dekha karati thi. vah jab chhote lala ko god men uthakar pyar karate the, jab tami ka sir thapathapakar use lita dete the, jab boodhi bhaktin ko chidhakar bahar bhag jate the, jab baltiyon men pani bhar-bhar paudon ko sinchate the, tab ye ankhen usi or lagi rahati thin. par ab vah sare din ghar men rahate hain, mere samane hnsate hain, bolate hain, mujhe khabar bhi nahin hoti. n-jane kyon ? tab kisi din unhonne phoolon ka ek guladasta mere hath men rakh diya tha aur muskaraye the. vah pranay ka upahar pakar main phooli n samaee thi.

keval thod-se phool aur pattiyan thin; par unhen dekhane se meri ankhen kisi bhanti tript hi n hoti thin. kuchh der hath men liye rahi, phir apani mej par phooladan men rakh diya. koee kam karati hoti, to bar-bar akar us guladaste ko dekh jati. kitani bar use ankhon se lagaya, kitani bar use chooma ! koee ek lakh rupaye bhi deta, to use n deti. usaki ek-ek pnkhadi mere lie ek-ek ratn thi. jab vah murajha gaya, to mainne use uthakar apane baks men rakh diya tha. tab se unhonne mujhe hajaron chizen upahar men di hain ek-se-ek

ratnajatit abhooshan hain, ek-se-ek bahumooly vastra hain aur guladaste to pray: nity hi late hain; lekin in chijon ko pakar vah ullas nahin hota. main un chijon ko pahanakar aine men apana roop dekhati hoon aur garv se phool uthati hoon. apani hamajoliyon ko dikhakar apana gaurav aur unaki eershya badhati hoon. bas.

abhi thode hi din hue hain, unhonne mujhe chandrahar diya hai. jo ise dekhata hai, mohit ho jata hai. main bhi usaki banavat aur sajavat par mugdh hoon. mainne apana sndook khola aur us guladaste ko nikal laee. ah ! use

hath men lete hi meri ek-ek nas men bijali daud gee. hriday ke sare tar knpit ho gaye. vah sookhi huee pnkhadiyan, jo ab pile rng ki ho gee thin bolati huee maloom hoti thin. usake sookhe, murajhaye hue mukhon ke asphutit, knpit, anurag men doobe shabd sayn-sayn karake nikalate hue jan padate the; kintu vah ratnajatit, kanti se damakata hua har svarn aur pattharon ka ek samooh tha, jisamen pran n the, sngya n thi, marm n tha. mainne phir guladaste ko chooma, knth se lagaya, ardr netron se sincha aur phir sndook men rakh aee. abhooshanon se bhara hua sndook bhi us ek smriti-chihn ke samane tuchchh tha. yah kya rahasy tha ?


phir mujhe unake ek purane patr ki yad a gee. use unhonne kalej se mere pas bheja tha. use padhakar mere hriday men jo anand hua tha, jo toofan utha tha, ankhon se jo nadi bahi thi, kya use kabhi bhool sakati hoon.

us patr ko mainne apani sohag ki pitari men rakh diya tha. is samay us patr ko padhane ki prabal ichchha huee. mainne pitari se vah patr nikala. use sparsh karate hi mere hath kanpane lage, hriday men dhadakan hone lagi. main kitani der use hath men liye khadi rahi, kah nahin sakati. mujhe aisa maloom hua ki main phir vahi ho gee hoon, jo patr pate samay thi. us patr men kya prem ke kavittamay udgar the ? kya prem ki sahityik vivechana thi ? kya viyog-vyatha ka karun krndan tha ? usamen to prem ka ek shabd bhi n tha.

likha tha qamini, tumane ath dinon se koee patr nahin likha. kyon nahin likha ? agar tum mujhe patr n likhogi, to main holi ki chhuttiyon men ghar n aoonga, itana samajh lo. akhir tum sare din kya karati ho ! mere upanyason ki alamari khol li hai kya ? apane meri alamari kyon kholi ? samajhati hogi, main patr n likhoongi to bacha khoob royenge aur hairan honge. yahan isaki paravah nahin. nau baje rat ko sota hoon, to ath baje uthata hoon. koee chinta hai, to yahi ki phel n ho jaoon. agar phel hua to tum janogi. kitana saral, bhole-bhale hriday se nikala hua, nishkapat manapoorn agrah aur atnk se patr bhara hua tha, mano usaka sara uttaradayitv mere hi oopar tha. aisi dhamaki kya ab bhi vah mujhe de sakate hain ? kabhi nahin.

aisi dhamaki vahi de sakata hai, jo n mil sakane ki vyatha ko janata ho, usaka anubhav karata ho. patidev ab janate hain, is dhamaki ka mujh par koee asar n hoga, main hnsoongi aur aram se sooongi, kyonki main janati hoon, vah avashy ayenge aur unake lie thikana hi kahan hai ? ja hi kahan sakate hain ? tab se unhonne mere pas kitane patr likhe hain. do-din ko bhi bahar jate hain, to zaroor ek patr bhejate hain, aur jab das-panch din ko jate hain, to nity prati ek patr ata hai. patron men prem ke chune hue shabd, chune hue vaky, chune hue snbodhan bhare hote hain. main unhen padhati hoon aur ek thndi sans lekar rakh deti hoon. hay ! vah hriday kahan gaya ? prem ke in nirjiv bhavashoony kritrim shabdon men vah abhinnata kahan hai, vah ras kahan hai, vah unmad kahan hai, vah krodh kahan hai ? vah jhunjhalahat kahan hai ? unamen mera man koee vastu khojata hai qoee agyat, avyakt, alakshit vastu par vah nahin milati. unamen sugndh bhari hoti hai, patron ke kagaz art-pepar ko mat karate hain; par unaka yah sara banav-snvar kisi gatayauvana nayika ke banav-singar ke sadrish hi lagata hai, kabhi-kabhi to main patron ko kholati bhi nahin. main janati hoon, unamen kya likha hoga. unhin dinon ki bat hai, mainne tije ka vrat kiya tha. mainne devi ke sammukh sir jhukakar vandana ki thi devi, main tumase keval ek varadan mangati hoon. ham donon praniyon men kabhi vichchhed n ho, aur mujhe koee abhilasha nahin, main snsar ki aur koee vastu nahin chahati. tab se char sal ho gaye hain aur hamamen ek din ke lie bhi vichchhed nahin hua. mainne to keval ek varadan

manga tha. devi ne varadanon ka bhndar hi mujhe saunp diya. par aj mujhe devi ke darshan hon, to main unase kahoon tum apane sare varadan le lo; main inamen se ek bhi nahin chahati. main phir vahi din dekhana chahati hoon, jab hriday men prem ki abhilasha thi. tumane sabakuchh dekar mujhe us atul sukh se vnchit kar diya, jo abhilasha men tha. main abaki devi se vah din dikhane ki prarthana karoon, jab main kisi nirjan jalatat aur saghan van men apane priyatam ko dhoondhati phiroon. nadi ki laharon se kahoon, mere priyatam ko tumane dekha hai ? vrikshon se poochhoon, mere priyatam kahan gaye ? kya vah sukh mujhe kabhi prapt n hoga ? usi samay mand, shital pavan chalane laga. main khidaki ke bahar sir nikale khadi thi. pavan ke jhonke se mere kesh ki laten bikharane lagin. mujhe aisa abhas hua, mano mere priyatam vayu ke in uchchhvason men hain. phir mainne akash ki or dekha. chand ki kiranen chandi ke jagamagate taron ki bhanti ankhon se ankhamichauni-si khel rahi thin. ankhen band karate samay samane a jatin; par ankhen kholate hi adrishy ho jati thin. mujhe us samay aisa abhas hua ki mere priyatam unhin jagamagate taron par baithe akash se utar rahe hain.

usi samay kisi ne gaya

anokhe-se nehi ke tyag,

nirale pida ke snsar !

kahan hote ho antadhrdan,

luta karake sone-sa pyar !

'luta karake sone-sa pyar',

yah pad mere marmasthal ko tir ki bhanti chhedata hua kahan chala gaya, nahin janati. mere royen khade ho gaye. ankhon se ansuon ki jhadi lag gee. aisa maloom hua, jaise koee mere priyatam ko mere hriday se nikale liye jata hai. main zor se chilla padi. usi samay patidev ki nind toot gee.

vah mere pas akar bole kya abhi tum chillaee thin ? are ! tum ro rahi ho ? kya bat hai ? koee svapn to nahin dekha ?

mainne sisakate hue kaha, rooon n, to kya hnsoon ?

svami ne mera hath pakadakar kaha, kyon, rone ka koee karan hai, ya yon hi rona chahati ho?

'kya mere rone ka karan tum nahin janate ?'

'main tumhare dil ki bat kaise jan sakata hoon ?'

'tumane janane ki cheshta kabhi ki hai ?'

'mujhe isaka san-guman bhi n tha ki tumhare rone ka koee karan ho sakata hai.'

'tumane to bahut kuchh padha hai, kya tum bhi aisi bat kah sakate ho ?'

svami ne vismay men padakar kaha, 'tum to paheliyan bujhavati ho ?'

'kyon, kya tum kabhi nahin rote ?'

'main kyon rone laga.'

'tumhen ab koee abhilasha nahin hai ?'

'meri sabase badi abhilasha poori ho gee. ab main aur kuchh nahin chahata.'

yah kahate hue patidev muskaraye aur mujhe gale se lipata lene ko badhe. unaki yah hridayahinata is samay mujhe bahut buri lagi. mainne unhen hathon se pichhe hatakar kaha, main is svang ko prem nahin samajhati. jo kabhi ro nahin sakata vah prem nahin kar sakata. rudan aur prem, donon ek hi ऱet se nikalate hain. usi samay phir usi gane ki dhvani sunaee di

anokhe-se nehi ke tyag,

nirale pida ke snsar !

kahan hote ho antardhan

luta karake sone-sa pyar !

patidev ki vah muskarahat lupt ho gee. mainne unhen ek bar kanpate dekha. aisa jan pada, unhen romanch ho raha hai. sahasa unaka dahina hath uthakar unaki chhati tak gaya. unhonne lambi sans li aur unaki ankhon

se ansoo ki boonden nikalakar galon par a geen. turnt mainne rote hue unaki chhati par sir rakh diya aur us param sukh ka anubhav kiya, jisake lie kitane dinon se mera hriday tadap raha tha. aj phir mujhe patidev ka hriday

dhadakata hua sunaee diya, aj unake sparsh men phir sphoorti ka gyan hua.

abhi tak us pad ke shabd mere hriday men goonj rahe the

kahan hote ho antardhan,

luta karake sone-sa pyar ![1]

tika tippani aur sndarbh

  1. shrimati mahadevi varma ki kavita ka ek pad.

bahari kadiyan

snbndhit lekh

varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

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