दीक्षा -प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

jab main skool men padhata tha, gend khelata tha aur adhyapak mahodayon ki ghudakiyan khata tha, arthath meri kishoravastha thi, n gyan ka uday hua tha aur n buddhi ka vikas, us samay main tenparens esosieshan (nashanivarani sabha) ka utsahi sadasy tha. nity usake jalason men sharik hota, usake lie chanda vasool karata. itana hi nahin, vratadhari bhi tha aur is vrat ke palan ka atal snkalp kar chuka tha. pradhan mahoday ne mere diksha lete samay jab poochha- ‘tumhen vishvas hai ki jivan-parynt is vrat par atal rahoge?’ to mainne nishshnk bhav se uttar diya- ‘han, mujhe poorn vishvas hai.’ pradhan ne muskarakar pratigya-patr mere samane rakh diya. us din mujhe kitana annd hua tha ! gaurav se sir uthaye ghoomata phirata tha. kee bar pitaji se bhi be-adabi kar baitha, kyonki vah sndhya samay thakan mitane ke lie ek gilas pi liya karate the. mujhe yah asahy tha. kahoonga eeman ki. pitaji aib karate the, par hunar ke sath. jyon hi jara-sa saroor a jata, ankhon men surkhi ki abha jhalakane lagati ki byaloo karane baith jate- bahut hi sookshmahari the- aur phir rat-bhar ke lie maya-moh ke bndhanon se mukt ho jate. main unhen upadesh deta tha. unase vad-vivad karane par utaroo ho jata tha. ek bar to mainne gajab kar dala tha. unaki botal aur gilas ko patthar par itani zor se pataka ki bhagavanh krishn ne kns ko bhi itani zor se n pataka hoga. ghar men kanch ke tukade phail gaye aur kee dinon tak nagn charanon se phiranevali striyon ke pairon se khoon baha; par mera utsah to dekhie ! pita ki tivr drishti ki parava n ki. pita ji ne akar apani snjivani-pradayini botal ka yah shok samachar suna to sidhe bazar gaye aur ek kshan men tak ke shoony-sthan ki phir poorti ho gayi. main devasur-sngram ke lie kamar kase baitha tha; magar pitaji ke mukh par leshamatr bhi mail n aya. unhonne meri or utsahapoorn drishti se dekha- ab mujhe maloom hota hai ki vah atmollas, vishuddh satkamana aur alaukik sneh se paripoorn thi- aur muskara diye. usi tarah muskaraye, jaise kee mas pahale pradhan mahoday muskaraye the. ab unake muskarane ka ashay samajh raha hoon, us samay n samajh saka. bas, itani hi gyan ki vriddhi huee hai. us muskan men kitana vyngy tha, mere bal-vrat ka kitana upahas aur meri saralata par kitani daya thi, ab usaka marm samajha hoon !

main apane kalej men apane vrat par dridh raha. mere kitane hi mitr snyamashil n the. main adarsh-charitr samajha jata tha. kalej men us snkirnata ka nirvah kahan. buddhoo bana diya jata, koee mulla ki padavi deta, koee naseh kahakar majak udata ! mitragan vyngy-bhav men kahate- ‘hay afasos, toone pi hi nahin !’ saransh yah ki yahan mujhe udar banana pada. mitron ko kamare men chusakiyan lagate dekhata; aur baitha rahata. bhng ghutati aur main dekha karata. log agrahapoorvak kahate- ‘aji, jara lo bhi.’ to vinit bhav se kahata- ‘kshama kijie, yah mere sistam ko soot nahin karati. siddhant ke badale ab mujhe sharirik asamarthata ka bahana karana pada. vah satyagrah ka josh, jisane pita ki botal par hath saf kiya tha, gayab ho gaya tha. yahan tak ki ek bar jab kalej ke chauthe varsh men mere ladaka paida hone ki khabar mili, to meri udarata ki had ho gayi. mainne mitron ke agrah se majaboor hokar unaki davat ki aur apane hathon se dhal-dhalakar unhen pilayi. us din saki banane men hardik annd mil raha tha. udarata vastav men siddhant se gir jane, adarsh se chyut ho jane ka hi doosara nam hai. apane man ko samajhane ke lie yuktiyon ka abhav kabhi nahin hota. snsar men sabase asan kam apane ko dhokha dena hai. mainne khud to nahin pi, pila di, isamen mera kya nukasan? doston ki dilashikani to nahin ki? maja to jabhi hai ki doosaron ko pilaye aur khud n piye.

khair, kalej se main bedag nikal aya. apane shahar men vakalat shuroo ki. subah se adhi rat tak chakki men jutana pada. ve kalej ke sair-sapate, amod-vinod, sab svapn ho gaye. mitron ki amadarapht bnd huee, yahan tak ki chhuttiyon men bhi dam marane ki phurasat n milati. jivan-sngram kitana vikat hai, isaka anubhav hua. ise sngram kahana hi bhram hai. sngram ki umng, uttejana, virata aur jay-dhvani yahan kahan? yah sngram nahin, thelam-thel, dhakka-pel hai. yahan ‘chahe dhakke khayn, magar tamasha ghusakar dekhen’ ki dasha hai. mashook ka vasl kahan, usaki chaukhat ko choomana, daraban ki galiyan khana aur apana-sa munh lekar chale ana. din-bhar baithe-baithe aruchi ho jati. mushkil se do chapatiyan khata aur man men kahata- ‘kya inhin do chapatiyon ke lie yah sir-magjan aur yah dida-reji hai? maro, khapo aur vyarth ke lie ! isake sath yah araman bhi thi ki apani motar ho, vishal bhavan ho, thodi-si jamindari ho, kuchh rupaye baink men hon; par yah sab hua bhi, to mujhe kya? sntan unaka sukh bhogegi, main to vyarth hi mara. main to khazane ka sanp hi raha. nahin, yah nahin ho sakata. main doosaron ke lie hi pran n doonga, apani mihanat ka maja khud bhi chakhoonga. kya karoon? kahin sair karane chaloon? muvakkil sab titar-bitar ho jaynge ! aisa nami vakil to hoon nahin ki mere bagair kam hi n chale aur katipay netaon ki bhanti asahayog-vrat dharan karane par bhi koee bada shikar dekhoon, to jhapat padoon. yahan to piddi, bater, haril inhin sab par nishana marana hai. phir kya roj thiyetar jaya karoon? phijool hai. kahin do baje rat ko sona nasib hoga, bina maut mar jaoonga. akhir mere hamapesha aur bhi to hain? ve kya karate hain jo unhen barabar khush aur mast dekhata hoon? maloom hota hai, unhen koee chinta hi nahin hai. svarth-seva angreji shiksha ka pran hai. poorv sntan ke lie, yash ke lie, dharm ke lie marata hai, pashchim apane lie. poorv men ghar ka svami sabaka sevak hota hai, vah sabase zyada kam karata, doosaron ko khilakar khata, doosaron ko pahana kar pahanata hai; kintu pashchim men vah sabase achchha khana, achchha pahanana apana adhikar samajhata hai. yahan parivar sarvopari hai, vahan vyakti sarvopari hai. ham bahar se poorv aur bhitar se pashchim hain. hamare sath adarsh din-din lupt hote ja rahe hain. mainne sochana shuroo kiya, itane dinon ki tapasya se mujhe kya mil gaya? din-bhar chhati phadakar kam karata hoon, adhi rat ko munh dhanpakar so rahata hoon. yah bhi koee zindagi hai? koee sukh nahin, manornjan ka koee saman nahin; din-bhar kam karane ke bad tenis kya khak kheloonga? havakhori ke lie bhi to pairon men joota chahie ! aise jivan ko rasamay banane ke lie keval ek hi upay hai- atm-vismriti, jo ek kshan ke lie mujhe snsar ki chintaon se mukt kar de. main apani paristhiti ko bhool jaoon, apane ko bhool jaoon, jara hnsoon, jara kahakaha maroon, jara man men sphoorti aye. keval ek hi booti hai, jisamen ye gun hain aur vah main janata hoon. kahan ki pratigya, kahan ka vrat, ve bachapan ki baten thin. us samay kya janata tha ki meri yah halat hogi? navasphoorti ka bahuly tha, pairon men shakti thi, ghode par savar hone ki kya zaroorat thi? tab javani ka nasha tha. ab vah kahan? yah bhavana mere poorv snchit samay ki jadon ko hilane lagi. yah nity nayi-nayi yuktiyon se sashakt hokar ati thi. kyon, kya tumhin sabase adhik buddhimanh ho? sab to pite hain. jajon ko dekho, ijalas chhodakar jate aur pi ate hain. prachin kal men aise vrat nibh jate the, jab jivika itani pranaghatak n thi. log hnsenge hi n ki bade vratadhari ki dum bane the, akhir a gaye n chakkar men ! hnsane do, mainne nahak vrat liya. usi vrat ke karan itane dinon ki tapasya karani padi. nahin pi to kaun-sa bada adami ho gaya, kaun samman pa liya? pahale kitabon men padha karata tha, yah hani hoti hai, vah hani hoti hai; magar kahin to nukasan hote nahin dekhata. han piyakkad, madamast ho jane ki bat aur hai. us tarah to achchhi-se-achchhi vastu ka durupayog bhi haniprad hota hai. gyan bhi jab sima se bahar ho jata hai, to nastikata ke kshetr men pahunchata hai. pina chahie ekant men, chetana ko jagrit karane ke lie, sulane ke lie nahin; bas pahale din jara-jara jhijhak hogi. phir kisaka dar hai. aisi ayojana karani chahie ki log mujhe jabaradasti pila den, jisamen apani shan bani rahe. jab ek din pratigya toot jayegi, to phir mujhe apani saphaee pesh karane ki zaroorat n rahegi, gharavalon ke samane bhi ankhen nichi n karani padengi.

2

mainne nishchay kiya, yah abhinay holi ke din ho. is diksha ke lie isase uttam muhoort kaun hoga? holi pine-pilane ka din hai. us din mast ho jana kshamy hai. pavitr holi agar ho sakati hai, to pavitr chori, pavitr rishvat-sitani bhi ho sakati hai.

holi ayi, abaki bahut intazar ke bad ayi. mainne diksha lene ki taiyari shuroo ki. kee pinevalon ko nimantriat kiya. kelanar ki dookan se hniski aur shamapen mngavayi; lemaned, soda, barph, gajak, khamira, tambakoo vagairah sab saman mngavakar lais kar diya. kamara bahut bada n tha. qanooni kitabon ki alamariyan hatava din, pharsh bichhava diya aur sham ko mitron ka intazar karane laga, jaise chidiya pnkh phailaye baheliyon ko bula rahi ho.

mitragan ek-ek karake ane lage. nau bajate-bajate sab-ke-sab a biraje. unamen kee to aise the, chulloo men ulloo ho jate the, par kitane hi kumbhaj rishi ke anuyayi the- poore samudr-sokh, botal-ki-botal gatagata jayn aur ankhon men surkhi n aye ! mainne botal, gilas aur gajak ki tastariyan samane lakar rakhin.

ek mahashay bole- yar, barf aur sode ke bagair lutph n ayega.

mainne uttar diya- mngava rakha hai, bhool gaya tha.

ek- to phir bismilla ho.

doosara- saki kaun hoga?

main- yah khidamat mere sipurd kijie.

mainne pyaliyan bhar-bharakar deni shuroo kin aur yar log pine lage. hoo-hak ka bazar garm hua; ashlil has-parihas ki andhi-si chalane lagi; par mujhe koee n poochhata tha. khoob achchha ulloo bana ! shayad mujhase kahate hue sakuchate hain. koee majak se bhi nahin kahata, mano main vaishnav hoon. inhen kaise ishara karoon? akhir sochakar bola- mainne to kabhi pi hi nahin.

ek mitr- kyon nahin pi? eeshvar ke yahan apako isaka javab dena padega !

doosara- pharamaie janab, pharamaie, pharamaie, kya javab dijiega. main hi usaki taraph se poochhata hoon- kyon nahin pite?

main- apani tabiyat, nahin ji chahata.

doosara- yah to koee javab nahin. kodo dekar vakalat pas ki thi kya?

tisara- javab dijie, javab. dijie, dijie. apane samajha kya hai, eeshvar ko apane aisa-vaisa samajh liya hai kya?

doosara- kya apako koee dharmik apatti hai?

mainne kaha- ho sakata hai.

tisara- vah re dharmatma ! kyon n ho, ap bade dharmatma hain. jara apaki dum dekhoon?

main- kya dharmatma adamiyon ke dum hoti hai?

chautha- aur kya, kisi ke hath ki, kisi ke do hath ki. ap hain kis pher men. dumadaron ke siva aj dharmatma hai hi kaun? ham sab papatma hain.

tisara- dharmatma vakil, o ho, dharmatma veshya, o ho !

doosara- dharmik apatti to apako ho hi nahin sakati. vakil hona dharmik vicharon se shoony hone ka chihn hai.

main- bhaee, mujhe soot nahin karati?

tisara- ab mar liya, mooji ko mar liya, apako soot nahin karati. main soot kara doon?

doosara- kya kisi daauktar ne mana kiya hai?

main- nahin.

tisara- vah vah ! ap khud hi daauktar ban gaye. amrit apako soot nahin karata. are dharmatmaji, ek bar pi ke dekhie.

doosara- mujhe apake munh se yah sunakar ashchary hua. bhaeeji, yah dava hai, mahaushadhi hai, yahi som-ras hai. kahin apane tenparens ki pratigya to nahin le li hai.

main- man lijie, li ho, to?

tisara- to ap buddhoo hain, sidhe-sidhe kore buddhoo !

chautha-

jam chalane ko hai sab, ahale-nazar baithe hain,

ankh saqi n churana, ham idhar baithe hain.

doosara- ham sabhi tenparens ke pratigyadhari hain, par jab vah ham hi nahin rahe, to vah pratigya kahan rahi? hamare nam vahi hain, par ham vah nahin hain. jahan ladakapan ki baten ki gayin, vahin vah pratigya bhi gayi.

main- akhir isase fayada kya hai?

doosara- yah to pine hi se maloom ho sakata hai. ek pyali pijie, fayada n maloom ho, to phir n pijiega.

tisara- mara, mara ab mooji ko pilakar chhodenge.

chautha-

aise men khvar hain din-rat piya karate hain,

ham to sote men tera nam liya karate hain.

pahala- tum logon se n banega main pilana janata hoon.

yah mahashay mote-taje adami the. mera tetua dabaya aur pyali munh se laga di. meri pratigya toot gayi, diksha mil gayi, murad poori huee, kintu banavati krodh se bola- ap log apane sath mujhe bhi le doobe.

doosara- mubarak ho, mubarak !

tisara- mubarak, mubarak, sau bar mubarak !

3

navadikshit manushy bada dharmaparayan hota hai. main sndhya samay din-bhar ki vagvitnda se chhutakara pakar jab ekant men, athava do-char mitron ke sath baithakar pyale-par-pyale chadhata, to chitt ullasit ho uthata tha. rat ko nidra khoob ati thi, par pratahkal ang-ang men pida hoti, angadaiyan atin, mastishk shithil ho jata, yahi ji chahata ki aram se palng par leta rahoon. mitron ne salah di ki khumari utarane ke lie sabere bhi ek peg pi liya jay, to ati uttam hai. mere man men bhi bat baith gayi. munh-hath dhokar pahale sndhya kiya karata tha. ab munh-hath dhokar chat apane kamare ke ekant men botal lekar baith jata. main itana janata tha ki nashili chijon ka chasaka bura hota hai, adami dhire-dhire unaka das ho jata hai. yahan tak ki vah unake bagair kuchh kam hi nahin kar sakata; parntu ye baten janate hue bhi main unake vashibhoot hota jata tha. yahan tak naubat pahunchi ki nashe ke bagair kuchh kam hi n kar sakata. jise amod ke lie munh lagaya tha vah sal hi bhar men mere lie jal aur vayu ki bhanti atynt avashyak ho gayi. agar kabhi kisi mukadame men bahas karate-karate der ho jati, to aisi thakavat chadhati thi, mano mnjilon chala hoon. us dasha men ghar ata, to anayas hi bat-bat par jhunjhalata. kahin naukar ko dantata, kahin bachchon ko pitata, kahin stri par garam hota. yah sab kuchh tha; par main katipay any sharabiyon ki bhanti nasha ate hi doon ki n leta tha, anargal baten n karata tha, halla n machata tha, n mere svasthy par hi madira-sevan ka kuchh bura asar najar ata tha.

barasat ke din the. nadi-nale badhe hue the. hukkam barasat men bhi daure karate hain. unhen apane bhatte se matalab. praja ko kitana kasht hota hai, isase unhen kuchh sarokar nahin. main ek mukadame men daure par gaya. anuman kiya tha ki sndhya tak laut aoonga; magar nadiyon ka chadhav-utar pada, das baje pahunchane ke badale sham ko pahuncha. jnt sahab meri pratiksha kar rahe the. mukadama pesh hua; lekin bahas khatam hote-hote rat nau baj gaye. main apani halat kya kahoon. ji chahata tha, jnt sahab ko noch khaoon. kabhi apane pratipakshi vakil ki dadhi nochane ko ji chahata tha, jisane barabas bahas ko itana badhaya. kabhi ji chahata tha, apana sir pit loon. mujhe soch lena chahie tha ki aj rat ko der ho gayi, to? jnt mera gulam to hai nahin ki jo meri ichchha ho, vahi kare. n khade raha jata, n baithe. chhote-mote piyakkad meri durdasha ki kalpana nahin kar sakate.

khair nau bajate-bajate mukadama samapt hua; par ab jaoon kahan? barasat ki rat, koson tak abadi ka pata nahin. ghar lautana kathin hi nahin, asambhav. as-pas bhi koee aisa ganv nahin, jahan snjivani mil sake. ganv ho bhi to vahan jay kaun? vakil koee thanedar nahin ki kisi ko begar men bhej de. bade snkat men pada hua tha. muvakkil chale gaye, darshak chale gaye, begar chale gaye. mera pratidvndvi musalaman chaparasi ke dastarakhan men sharik ho kar dakabngale ke baramade men pada raha; par main kya karoon? yahan to pranant-sa ho raha tha. vahin baramade men tat par baitha hua apani kismat ko ro raha tha, n nind hi ati thi ki is kasht ko bhool jaoon, apane ko usi ki god men saunp doon. gussa alabatte tha ki vah doosara vakil kitani mithi nind so raha hai mano sasural men sukh-sej par soya hua hai.

idhar to mera yah bura hal tha, udhar dak-bngale men sahab bahadur gilas par gilas chadha rahe the. sharab ke dhalane ki madhur dhvani mere kanon men akar chitt ko aur bhi vyakul kar deti. mujhase baithe n raha gaya. dhire-dhire chik ke pas gaya aur andar jhankane laga. ah ! kaisa jivanaprad drishy tha. saphed billaur ke gilas men barf aur sodavatar se alnkrit arun-mukh kamini shobhayaman thi; munh men pani bhar aya. us samay koee mera chitr utarata to lolupata ke chitr n men bazi mar le jata. sahab ki ankhon men surkhi thi, munh par surkhi thi. ekant men baitha pita aur manasik ullas ki lahar men ek angreji git gata tha. kahan vah svarg ka sukh aur kahan yah mera narakabhog ! kee bar prabal ichchha huee ki sahab ke pas chal kar ek gilas mangoon; par dar lagata tha ki kahin sharab ke badale thokar milane lage to yahan koee phariyad sunanevala bhi nahin hai.

main vahan tab tak khada raha, jab tak sahab ka bhojan samapt n ho gaya. manachahe bhojan aur sura-sevan ke uparant usane khanasama ko mej saf karane ke lie bulaya. khanasama vahin mej ke niche baitha oongh raha tha. utha aur plet lekar bahar nikala, to mujhe dekhakar chaunk pada. mainne shighr hi usako ashvasan diya- daro mat, daro mat, main hoon.

khanasama ne chakit hokar kaha- ap hain vakil sahab ! kya hajoor yahan khade the?

main- han, jara dekhata tha ki ye sab kaise khate-pite hain. bahut sharab pita hai.

khan.- aji kuchh poochhie mat. do botal din-rat men saf kar dalata hai. 20. ru. roj ki sharab pi jata hai. daure par chalata hai, to char darjan botalon se kam sath nahin rakhata.

main- mujhe bhi kuchh adat hai; par aj n mili.

khan.- tab to apako badi takaliph ho rahi hogi?

main- kya karoon; yahan to koee dookan bhi nahin. samajhata tha, jaldi se mukadama ho jayaga, ghar laut jaoonga. isilie koee saman sath n laya.

khan.- mujhe to aphim ki adat hai. ek din n mile to bavala ho jata hoon. amalavale ko chahe kuchh n mile, amal mil jay to use koee fikr nahin, khana chahe tin din men mile.

main- vahi hal hai bhaee, bhugat raha hoon. aisa maloom hota hai, badan men jan hi nahin hai.

khan.- hajoor ko kam-se-kam ek botal sath rakh leni chahie thi. jeb men dal lete.

main- itani hi to bhool huee, nahin rona kahe ka tha.

khan.- nind bhi n ati hogi?

main- kaisi nind, dam labon par hai, n jane rat kaise gujaregi.

main chahata tha, khanasama apani taraph se meri agni shant karane ka prastav kare, jisamen mujhe lajjit n hona pade. par khanasama bhi chnt tha. bola- allah ka nam lekar so jaie, nind kab tak n ayegi.

main- nind to n ayegi. han, mar bhale hi jaoonga. kya sahab botalen ginakar rakhate hain? ginate to kya honge?

khan.- are huzoor, ek hi mooji hai. botal poori nahin hoti, to us par nishan bana deta hai. majal hai ki ek boond bhi kam ho jay.

main- badi musibat hai, mujhe to ek gilas chahie. bas, itana hi chahata hoon ki nind a jay. jo inam kaho, vah doon.

khan.- inam to huzoor denge hi; lekin khauph yahi hai ki kahin bhanp gaya, to phir mujhe jinda n chhodega.

main- yar, lao, ab zyada sabr ki tab nahin hai.

khan.- apake lie jan hajir hai; par ek botal 10 ru. men ati hai. main kal kisi begar se mngakar tadad poori kar doonga.

main- ek botal thode hi pi jaoonga.

khan.- sath lete jaiega huzoor ! adhi botal khali mere pas rahegi, to use phauran shubaha ho jayaga. bada shakki hai, mera munh soongha karata hai ki isane pi n li ho.

mujhe 20 ru. mihanatane ke mile the. din-bhar ki kamaee ka adha dete hue kalak to hua, par doosara upay hi kya tha? chupake se 10 ru. nikal kar khanasama ke havale kiye. usane ek botal angareji sharab mujhe la di. baraph aur soda bhi leta aya. main vahin andhere men botal kholakar apani paritapt atma ko sudha-jal se sinchit karane laga.

kya janata tha ki vidhana mere lie koee doosara hi shadyntr rach raha hai, vish pilane ki taiyariyan kar raha hai.

4

nashe ki nind ka poochhana hi kya? us par hvisaki ki adhi botal chadha gaya tha. din chadhe tak sota raha. koee ath baje jhadoo laganevale mehatar ne jagaya, to nind khuli. sharab ki botal aur gilas sirahane rakhakar chhatari se chhipa diya tha. oopar se apana gaun dal diya tha. uthate hi uthate sirahane nigah gayi. botal aur gilas ka pata n tha. kaleja dhakh se ho gaya. khanasama ko khojane laga ki poochhoon, usane to nahin uthakar rakh diya. is vichar se utha aur tahalata hua dak-bngale ke pichhavade gaya, jahan naukaron ke lie alag kamare bane hue the; par vahan ka bhaynkar drishy dekh kar age qadam badhane ka sahas n hua.

sahab khanasama ka kan pakade hue the. sharab ki botalen alag-alag rakhi huee thin, sahab ek, do, tin karake ginate the aur khanasama se poochhate the, ek botal aur kahan gaya?- khanasama kahata tha- huzoor, khuda mera munh kala kare, jo mainne kuchh bhi dagal-phasal ki ho.

sahab- ham kya jhooth bolata hai? 29 botal nahin tha?

khan.- huzoor, khuda ki kasam, mujhe nahin maloom kitani botalen thin.

is par sahab ne khanasama ke kee tamache lagaye. phir kaha- tum gine, tum n batayega, to ham tumako jan se mar dalega. hamara kuchh nahin ho sakata. ham hakim hai, aur hakim log hamara dost hai. ham tumako abhi-abhi mar dalega, nahin to batala de, ek botal kahan gaya?

mere pran sookh gaye. bahut dinon ke bad eeshvar ki yad ayi. man-hi-man govarddhanadhari ka smaran karane laga. ab laj tumhare hath hai ! bhagavanh ! tumhin bachao to naiya bach sakati hai, nahin to mnjhadhar men doobi jati hai ! angrej hai, n jane kya musibat dha de. bhagavanh ! khanasama ka munh bnd kar do, usaki vani har lo, tumane bade-bade drohiyon aur dushton ki raksha ki hai. ajamil ko tumhin ne tara tha. main bhi drohi hoon, drohiyon ka drohi hoon. mera snkat haro. abaki jan bachi, to sharab ki or ankh n uthaoonga.

mar ke age bhoot bhagata hai ! mujhe prati kshan yah shnka hoti thi ki kahin yah lokokti charitarth n ho jay. kahin khanasama khul n pade. nahin to phir meri khair nahin ! sanad chhine jane ka, chori ka mukadama chal jane ka, athava jaj sahab se tiraskrit kiye jane ka itana bhay n tha; jitana sahab ke padaghat ka lakshy banane ka. jalim hntar lekar daud n pade. yon main itana durbal nahin hoon, hrisht-pusht aur sahasi manushy hoon. kalej men khel-kood ke lie paritoshik pa chuka hoon. ab bhi barasat men do mahine mugdar pher leta hoon; lekin us samay bhay ke mare bura hal tha. mere naitik bal ka adhar pahale hi nasht ho chuka tha. chor men bal kahan- mera man, mera bhavishy, mera jivan khanasama ke keval ek shabd par nirbhar tha- keval ek shabd par ! kisaka jivan-sootr itana kshin, itana jirn, itana jarjar hoga !

main man-hi-man pratigya kar raha tha- sharabiyon ki toba nahin, sachchi, dridh pratigya- ki is snkat se bacha to phir sharab n pioonga. mainne apane man ko charon or se bandh rakhane ke lie, usake kutarkon ka dvar bnd karane ke lie ek bhishan shapath khayi.

magar hay re durdev ! koee sahayak n hua. n govarddhanadhari ne sudh li, n nrisinh bhagavanh ne. ve sab satyayug men aya karate the. n pratigya kuchh kam ayi; n shapath ka kuchh asar hua. mere bhagy, ya durbhagy men jo kuchh bada tha, vah hokar raha. vidhana ne meri pratigya sudridh rakhane ke lie shapath ko yathesht n samajha.

khanasama bechara apani bat ka dhani tha. thappad khaye, thokar khayi, dadhi nuchavayi, par n khula, n khula. bada satyavadi, vir purush tha. main shayad aisi dasha men itana atal n rah sakata. shayad pahale hi thappad men ugal deta. usaki or se mujhe jo ghor shnka ho rahi thi, vah nirmool siddh huee. jab tak jioonga, us viratma ka gunanuvad karata rahoonga.

par mere oopar doosari hi or se vajrapat hua.

5

khanasama par jab mar-dhad ka kuchh asar n hua, to sahab usake kan pakade hue dak-bngale ki taraph chale. mainne unhen ate dekha chatapat samane baramade men ja baitha aur aisa munh bana liya mano kuchh janata hi nahin. sahab ne khanasama ko lakar mere samane khada kar diya. main bhi uthakar khada ho gaya. us samay yadi koee mere hriday ko chirata, to rakt ki ek boond bhi n nikalati.

sahab ne mujhase poochha- vel vakil sahab, tum sharab pita hai?

main inakar n kar saka.

‘tumane rat sharab pi thi?’

main inakar n kar saka.

‘tumane mere is khanasama se sharab li thi?’

main inakar n kar saka.

‘tumane rat ko sharab pikar botal aur gilas apane sir ke niche chhipakar rakha tha?’

main inakar n kar saka. mujhe bhay tha ki khanasama kahin khul n pade; par ulate main hi khul pada.

‘tum janata hai, yah chori hai !’

main inakar n kar saka.

‘ham tumako muattal kar sakata hai, tumhara sanad chhin sakata hai, tumako jel bhej sakata hai.’

yatharth hi tha.

‘ham tumako thokaron se marakar gira sakata hai. hamara kuchh nahin ho sakata !’

yatharth hi tha.

‘tum kala adami vakil banata hai, hamare khanasama se chori ka sharab leta hai. tum suar ! lekin ham tumako vahi saza dega, jo tum pasnd kare. tum kya chahata hai.

mainne kanpate hue kaha- huzoor, muaphi chahata hoon.

‘nahin, ham saza poochhata hai !’

‘jo huzoor munasib samajhen.’

‘achchha, yahi hoga.’

yah kahakar us nirdayi, narapishach ne do sipahiyon ko bulaya, aur unase mere donon hath pakadava diye. main maun dharan kiye is tarah sir jhukae khada raha, jaise koee ladaka adhyapak ke samane bent khane ko khada hota hai. isane mujhe kya dand dene ka vichara hai? kahin meri mushken to n kasavayega, ya kan pakadakar utha-baithi to n karavayega. devataon se sahayata milane ki koee asha to n thi, par adrishy ka avahan karane ke atirikt aur upay hi kya tha !

mujhe sipahiyon ke hath chhodakar sahab daftar men gaye aur vahan se mohar chhapane ki syahi aur brash liye hue nikale. ab meri ankhon se ashrupat hone laga. yah ghor apaman aur thodi-si sharab ke lie ! vah bhi dugane dam dene par !

sahab brash se mere munh men kalima pot rahe the, vah kalima, jise dhone ke lie seron sabun ki zaroorat thi aur main bhigi billi ki bhanti khada tha. un donon yamadooton ko bhi mujh par daya n ati thi, donon hindustani the, par unhin ke hathon meri yah durdasha ho rahi thi. is desh ko svarajy mil chuka !

sahab kalima potate aur hnsate jate the. yahan tak ki ankhon ke siva til-bhar bhi jagah n bachi ! thodi-si sharab ke lie adami se vanamanush banaya ja raha tha. dil men soch raha tha, yahan se jate-hi-jate bacha par manahani ki nalish kar doonga, ya kisi badamash se kah doonga, ijalas hi par bacha ki jooton se khabar le.

mujhe vanamanush banakar sahab ne mere hath chhudava diye aur tali bajata hua mere pichhe dauda. nau baje ka samay tha. karmachari, muvakkil, chaparasi sabhi a gaye. saikadon adami jama the, mujhe n jane kya shamat soojhi ki vahan se bhaga. yah us prahasan ka sabase karunajanak drishy tha. age-age main daudata jata tha, pichhe-pichhe sahab aur any saikadon adami taliyan bajate ‘lena lena, jane na pave’ ka gul machate daude jate the, mano kisi bandar ko bhaga rahe hon.

lagabhag ek mil tak yah daud rahi. vah to kaho main kasarati adami hoon, bachakar nikal aya, nahin meri n jane aur kya durgati hoti. shayad mujhe gadhe par bithakar ghumana chahate the. jab sab pichhe rah gaye to main ek nale ke kinare bedam hokar baitha raha. ab mujhe soojhi ki yahan koee aya to pattharon se mare bina n chhodoonga, chahe ulati pade ya sidhi; kintu mainne nale men munh dhone ki cheshta nahin ki. janata tha, pani se yah kalima n chhootegi. yahi sochata raha ki is angarej par kaise abhiyog chalaoon? yah to chhipana hi padega ki mainne isake khanasama se chori ki sharab li. agar yah bat sabit ho gayi, ulata main hi phns jaoonga. kya haraj hai, itana chhipa doonga. shatruta ka karan kuchh aur hi dikha doonga; par mukadama zaroor chalana chahie.

jaoon kahan? yah kalima-mndit munh kise dikhaoon ! hay ! badamash ko kalikh hi lagani thi, to kya tave men kalikh n thi, laimp men kalikh n thi ! kam-se-kam chhoot to jati. jitana apaman hua hai, vahin tak rahata. ab to main mano apane kukrity ka svayn dhindhora pit raha hoon. doosara hota, to itani durgati par doob marata !

ganimat yahi thi ki abhi tak raste men kisi se mulakat nahin huee thi; nahin to use kalima sambandhi prashnon ka kya uttar deta? jab jara thakan kam huee, to mainne socha, yahan kab tak baitha rahoonga. lao, ek bar yatn karake dekhoon to, shayad syahi chhoot jay. mainne baloo se munh ragadana shuroo kiya. dekha to syahi chhoot rahi thi. us samay mujhe jitana anand hua, usaki kaun kalpana kar sakata hai. phir to mera hausala badha. mainne munh ko itana ragada ki kee jagah chamada tak chhil gaya; kintu vah kalima chhudane ke lie mujhe is samay badi-se-badi pida bhi tuchchh jan padati thi. yadyapi main nnge sir tha, keval kurta aur dhoti pahane hue tha, par yah koee apaman ki bat nahin. gaun, achakan, pagadi dak-bngale hi men rah gayi, isaki mujhe chinta n thi. kalikh to chhoot gayi.

lekin kalima chhoot jati hai, par usaka dag dil se kabhi nahin mitata. is ghatana ko aj bahut din ho gaye. poore panch sal hue, mainne sharab ka nam nahin liya, pine ki kaun kahe. kadachith mujhe sanmarg par lane ke lie yah eeshvariy vidhan tha. koee yukti, koee tark, koee chutaki mujh par itana sthayi prabhav n dal sakati thi. suphal ko dekhate hue to main yahi kahoonga ki jo kuchh hua bahut achchha hua. vahi hona chahie tha; par us samay dil par jo gujari thi, use yad karake aj bhi nind uchat jati hai.

ab vipatti-katha ko kyon tool doon. pathak svayn anuman kar sakate hain. khabar to phail gayi, kintu mainne jhenpane aur sharamane ke badale behayaee se kam lena adhik anukool samajha. apani bevakoophi par hnsata tha aur bedhadak apani durdasha ki katha kahata tha. han, chalaki yah ki ki usamen kuchh thoda-sa apani taraph se badha diya, arthath rat ko jab mujhe nasha chadha to main botal aur gilas liye sahab ke kamare men ghus gaya aur use kurasi se patakakar khoob mara. is kshepak se meri dalit, apamanit, mardit atma ko thodi-si taskin hoti thi. dil par to jo kuchh gujari, vah dil hi janata hai.

sabase bada bhay mujhe yah tha ki kahin yah bat meri patni ke kanon tak n pahunche, nahin to unhen bada duahkh hoga. maloom nahin unhonne suna ya nahin; par mujhase isaki charcha nahin ki.

tika tippani aur sndarbh

bahari kadiyan

snbndhit lekh

varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

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