कुसुम -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

sal-bhar ki bat hai, ek din sham ko hava khane ja raha tha ki mahashay navin se mulaqat ho gayi. mere purane dost haian, b de betakalluf aur manachale. agare mean makan hai, achchhe kavi haian. unake kavi-samaj mean kee bar sharik ho chuka hooan. aisa kavita ka upasak maianne nahian dekha. pesha to vakalat; par doobe rahate haian kavy-chiantan mean. adami zahin haian, muqadama samane aya

aur usaki tah tak pahuanch gaye; isalie kabhi-kabhi muqadame mil jate haian,lekin kachahari ke bahar adalat ya muqadame ki charcha unake lie nishiddh hai. adalat ki charadivari ke andar char-paanch ghante vah vakil hote haian. charadivari ke bahar nikalate hi kavi haian sir se paanv tak. jab dekhiye, kavi-mandal jama hai, kavi-charcha ho rahi hai, rachanaean sun rahe haian. mast ho-hokar jhoom rahe haian, aur apani rachana sunate samay to un par ek tallinata-si chha jati hai. kanth svar bhi itana madhur hai ki unake pad ban ki tarah sidhe kaleje mean utar jate haian. adhyatm mean madhury ki srishti karana, nirgun mean sagun ki bahar dikhana unaki rachanaoan ki visheshata hai. vah jab lakhanoo ate haian, mujhe pahale soochana de diya karate haian. aj unhean anayas lakhanoo mean dekhakar mujhe ashchary hua ap yahaan kaise ? kushal to hai ? mujhe ane ki soochana tak n di. bole bhaeejan, ek janjal mean phans gaya hooan. apako soochit karane ka

samay n tha. phir apake ghar ko maian apana ghar samajhata hooan. is takalluf ki kya zaroorat hai ki ap mere lie koee vishesh prabandh karean. maian ek zaroori muamale mean apako kasht dene aya hooan. is vakt ki sair ko sthagit kijie aur chalakar meri vipatti-katha suniye. maianne ghab dakar kaha apane to mujhe chinta mean dal diya. ap aur vipatti-katha ! mere to pran sookhe jate haian. 'ghar chalie, chitt shant ho to sunaooan !' 'bal-bachche to achchhi tarah haian ?' 'haan, sab achchhi tarah haian. vaisi koee bat nahian hai !' 'to chalie, restraan mean kuchh jalapan to kar lijie.' 'nahian bhaee, is vakt mujhe jalapan nahian soojhata.'

ham donoan ghar ki or chale. ghar pahuanchakar unaka hath-muanh dhulaya, sharabat pilaya. ilayachi-pan khakar unhoanne apani vipatti-katha sunani shuroo ki--

'kusum ke vivah mean ap gaye hi the. usake pahale bhi apane use dekha tha. mera vichar hai ki kisi saral prakriti ke yuvak ko akarshit karane ke lie jin gunoan ki zaroorat hai, vah sab usamean maujood haian. apaka kya khayal hai ?'

maianne tatparata se kaha, maian apase kahian zyada kusum ka prashansak hooan.

aisi lajjashil, sugh d, saliqedar aur vinodini balika maianne doosari nahian dekhi. mahashay navin ne karun svar mean kaha vahi kusum aj apane pati ke nirday vyavahar ke karan ro-rokar pran de rahi hai. usaka gauna hue ek sal ho raha hai. is bich mean vah tin bar sasural gayi, par usaka pati usase bolata hi nahian. usaki soorat se bezar hai. maianne bahut chaha ki use bulakar donoan mean safaee kara dooan, magar n ata hai, n mere patroan ka uttar deta hai. n jane kya gaanth p d gayi hai ki usane is bedardi se aankhean pher lian. ab sunata hooan, usaka doosara vivah hone vala hai. kusum ka bura hal ho raha hai. ap shayad use dekhakar pahachan bhi n sakean. rat-din rone ke siva doosara kam nahian hai. isase ap hamari pareshani ka anuman kar sakate haian. zindagi ki sari abhilashaean miti jati haian. hamean eeshvar ne putr n diya; par ham apani kusum ko pakar santusht the aur apane bhagy ko dhany manate the. use kitane la d-pyar se pala, kabhi use phool ki chh di se bhi n chhua. usaki shiksha-diksha mean koee bat utha n rakhi. usane bi. e. nahian pas kiya, lekin vicharoan ki praudhata aur jnan-vistar mean kisi ooanche darje ki shikshit mahila se kam nahian. apane usake lekh dekhe haian. mera khayal hai, bahut kam deviyaan vaise lekh likh sakati haian ! samaj, dharm, niti sabhi vishayoan mean usake vichar b de parishkrit haian. bahas karane mean to vah itani patu hai ki mujhe ashchary hota hai. grih-prabandh mean itani kushal ki mere ghar ka pray: sara prabandh usi ke hath mean tha; kintu pati ki drishti mean vah paanv ki dhool ke barabar bhi nahian. bar-bar poochhata hooan, toone use kuchh kah diya hai, ya kya bat hai ? akhir, vah kyoan tujhase itana udasin hai ? isake javab mean rokar yahi kahati hai 'mujhase to unhoanne kabhi koee batachit hi nahian ki.' mera vichar hai ki pahale hi din donoan mean kuchh manamutav ho gaya. vah kusam ke pas aya hoga aur usase kuchh poochha hoga. usane mare sharm ke javab n diya hoga. sanbhav hai,usase do-char batean aur bhi ki hoan. kusum ne sir n uthaya hoga. ap janate hi haian, ki kitani sharmili hai. bas, patidev rooth gaye hoange. maian to kalpana hi nahian kar sakata ki kusam-jaisi balika se koee purush udasin rah sakata hai, lekin durbhagy ko koee kya kare ? dukhiya ne pati ke nam kee patr likhe, par us nirdayi ne ek ka bhi javab n diya ! sari chitthiyaan lauta dian. meri samajh mean nahian ata ki us pashan-hriday ko kaise pighalaooan. maian ab khud to use kuchh likh nahian sakata. ap hi kusum ki pran raksha karean, nahian to shighr hi usake jivan ka ant ho jayaga aur usake sath ham donoan prani bhi sidhar jayॅge. usaki vyatha ab nahian dekhi jati.

navinaji ki aankhean sajal ho gayian. mujhe bhi atyant kshobh hua. unhean tasalli deta hua bola ap itane dinoan is chinta mean p de rahe, mujhase pahale hi kyoan n kaha ? maian aj hi muradabad jaooanga aur us lauande ki is buri tarah khabar looanga ki vah bhi yad karega. bacha ko zabaradasti ghasit kar laooanga aur kusum ke pairoan par gira dooanga. navinaji mere atmavishvas par musakarakar bole, ap usase kya kaheange ?

'yah n poochhiye ! vashikaran ke jitane mantr haian, un sabhi ki pariksha karooanga.'

'to ap kadapi saphal n hoange. vah itana shilavan, itana vinamr, itana prasann mukh hai, itana madhur-bhashi ki ap vahaan se usake bhakt hokar

lauteange ! vah nity apake samane hath baandhe kh da rahega. apaki sari kathorata shant ho jayagi. apake lie to ek hi sadhan hai. apake kalam mean jadoo hai ! apane kitane hi yuvakoan ko sanmarg par lagaya hai. hriday mean soyi huee manavata ko jagana apaka kartavy hai. maian chahata hooan, ap kusum ki or se aisa karunajanak, aisa dil hila denevala patr likhean ki vah lajjit ho jay aur usaki prem-bhavana sachet ho uthe. maian jivan-paryant apaka abhari rahooanga.'

navinaji kavi hi to thahare. is tajabij mean vastavikata ki apeksha kavitv hi ki pradhanata thi. ap mere kee galpoan ko padhakar ro p de haian, isase apako vishvas ho gaya hai ki maian chatur sanpere ki bhaanti jis dil ko chahooan,nacha sakata hooan. apako yah maloom nahian ki sabhi manushy kavi nahian hote,

aur n ek-se bhavuk. jin galpoan ko padhakar ap roye haian, unhian galpoan ko padhakar kitane hi sajjanoan ne virakt hokar pustak pheank di hai. par in batoan ka vah avasar n tha. vah samajhate ki maian apana gala chhu dana chahata hooan, isalie maianne sahridayata se kaha, apako bahut door ki soojhi. aur maian is prastav se sahamat hooan aur yadyapi apane meri karunotpadak shakti ka anuman karane mean atyukti se kam liya hai; lekin maian apako nirash n karooanga. maian patr likhooanga aur yathashakti us yuvak ki nyay-buddhi ko jagane ki cheshta bhi karooanga, lekin ap anuchit n samajhean to pahale mujhe vah patr dikha dean, jo kusum ne apane pati ke nam likhe the, usane patr to lauta hi diye haian aur yadi kusum ne unhean pha d nahian dala hai, to usake pas hoange. un patroan ko dekhane se mujhe jnat ho jayaga ki kin pahaluoan par likhane ki guanjaish baqi hai. navinaji ne jeb se patroan ka ek pulinda nikalakar mere samane rakh diya aur bole maian janata tha ap in patroan ko dekhana chaheange, isalie inhean sath leta aya. ap inhean shauq se padhean. kusum jaisi meri l daki hai, vaisi hi apaki bhi l daki hai. apase kya parada !

sugandhit, gulabi, chikane kagaz par bahut hi sundar aksharoan mean likhe un patroan ko maianne padhana shuroo kiya --

'mere svami, mujhe yahaan aye ek saptah ho gaya; lekin aankhean pal-bhar ke lie bhi nahian jhapakian. sari rat karavatean badalate bit jati hai. bar-bar sochati hooan, mujhase aisa kya aparadh hua ki usaki ap mujhe yah saza de rahe haian. ap mujhe jhi dakean, ghu dakean, kosean; ichchha ho to mere kan bhi pak dean.maian in sabhi sajaoan ko saharsh sah looangi; lekin yah nishthurata nahian sahi jati. maian apake ghar ek saptah rahi. paramatma janata hai ki mere dil mean kya-kya araman the. maianne kitani bar chaha ki apase kuchh poochhॅ; apase apane aparadhoan ko kshama karaooan; lekin ap meri parachhaeean se bhi door bhagate the. mujhe koee avasar n mila. apako yad hoga ki jab dopahar ko sara ghar so jata tha; to maian apake kamare mean jati thi aur ghantoan sir jhukaye kh di rahati thi; par apane kabhi aankh uthakar n dekha. us vakt mere man ki kya dasha hoti thi, isaka kadachith ap anuman n kar sakeange. meri jaisi abhagini striyaan isaka kuchh aandazakar sakati haian. maianne apani saheliyoan se unaki sohagarat ki kathaean sun- sunakar apani kalpana mean sukhoan ka jo svarg banaya tha use apane kitani nirdayata se nasht kar diya ! maian apase poochhati hooan, kya apake oopar mera koee adhikar nahian hai ? adalat bhi kisi aparadhi ko dand deti hai, to us par koee-n-koee abhiyog lagati hai, gavahiyaan leti hai, unaka bayan sunati hai. apane to kuchh poochha hi nahian. mujhe apani khata maloom ho jati, to age ke lie sachet ho jati. apake charanoan par girakar kahati, mujhe kshama-dan do. maian shapathapoorvak kahati

hooan, mujhe kuchh nahian maloom, ap kyoan rusht ho gaye. sambhav hai, apane apani patni mean jin gunoan ko dekhane ki kamana ki ho, ve mujhamean n hoan. beshak

maian aangareji nahian padhi, aangarezi-samaj ki riti-niti se parichit nahian, n aangarezi khel hi khelana janati hooan. aur bhi kitani hi trutiyaan mujhamean hoangi.

maian janati hooan ki maian apake yogy n thi. apako mujhase kahian adhik roopavati, gunavati, buddhimati stri milani chahie thi; lekin mere devata, dand aparadhoan

ka milana chahie, trutiyoan ka nahian. phir maian to apake ishare par chalane ko taiyar hooan. ap meri dilajoee karean, phir dekhie, maian apani trutiyoan ko kitani

jald poora kar leti hooan. apaka prem-kataksh mere roop ko pradipt, meri buddhi ko tivr aur mere bhagy ko balavan kar dega. vah vibhooti pakar meri kayakalp ho jayagi. svami ! kya apane socha hai ? ap yah krodh kis par kar rahe haian ? vah abala, jo apake charanoan par p di huee apase kshama-dan maang rahi hai, jo janm-janmantar ke lie apaki cheri hai, kya is krodh ko sahan kar sakati hai ? mera dil bahut kamazor hai. mujhe rulakar apako pashchattap ke siva aur kya hath ayega. is krodhagni ki ek chinagari mujhe bhasm kar dene ke lie kafi hai, agar apaki yah ichchha hai ki maian mar jaooan, to maian marane ke lie taiyar hooan; keval apaka ishara chahati hooan. agar marane se apaka chitt prasann ho, to maian b de harsh se apane ko apake charanoan par samarpit kar dooangi; magar itana kahe bina nahian raha jata ki mujhamean sau aib hoan, par ek gun bhi hai mujhe dava hai ki apaki jitani seva maian kar sakati hooan, utani koee doosari stri nahian kar sakati. ap vidvanh haian, udar haian, manovijnan ke pandit haian, apaki lauandi apake samane kh di daya ki bhikh maang rahi hai. kya use dvar se thukara dijiega ? apaki aparadhini qusum

yah patr padhakar mujhe romaanch ho aya. yah bat mere lie asahy thi ki koee stri apane pati ki itani khushamad karane par majaboor ho jay. purush agar stri se udasin rah sakata hai, to stri use kyoan nahian thukara sakati ? vah dusht samajhata hai ki vivah ne ek stri ko usaka gulam bana diya. vah

us abala par jitana atyachar chahe kare, koee usaka hath nahian pak d sakata, koee chooan bhi nahian kar sakata. purush apani doosari, tisari, chauthi shadi kar

sakata hai, stri se koee sambandh n rakhakar bhi us par usi kathorata se shasan kar sakata hai. vah janata hai ki stri kul-maryada ke bandhanoan mean jak di huee hai, use ro-rokar mar jane ke siva aur koee upay nahian hai. agar use bhay hota ki aurat bhi usaki eeant ka javab patthar se nahian, eeant se bhi nahian; keval thapp d se de sakati hai, to use kabhi is badamizaji ka sahas n hota. bechari stri kitani vivash hai. shayad maian kusum ki jagah hota, to

is nishthurata ka javab isaki dasaguni kathorata se deta. usaki chhati par mooang dalata ? sansar ke hॅsane ki zara bhi chinta n karata. samaj abalaoan par itana julm dekh sakata hai aur chooan tak nahian karata, usake rone ya hॅsane ki mujhe zara bhi paravah n hoti. are abhage yuvak ! tujhe khabar nahian, too apane bhavishy ki gardan par kitani bedardi se chhuri pher raha hai ? yah vah samay hai, jab purush ko apane pranay-bhandar se stri ke mata-pita, bhaee-bahan, sakhiyaan-saheliyaan, sabhi ke prem ki poorti karani p dati hai. agar purush mean yah samarthy nahian hai to stri ki kshudhit atma ko kaise santusht rakh sakega. parinam vahi hoga, jo bahudha hota hai. abala kudh-kudhakar mar jati hai. yahi vah samay hai, jisaki smriti jivan mean sadaiv ke lie mithas paida kar deti hai. stri ki premasudha itani tivr hoti hai ki vah pati ka sneh pakar apana jivan saphal samajhati hai aur is prem ke adhar par jivan ke sare kashtoan ko hॅs-khelakar sah leti hai. yahi vah samay hai, jab hriday mean prem ka basant ata hai aur usamean nayi-nayi asha-koanpalean nikalane lagati haian. aisa kaun nirdayi hai, jo is rritu mean us vriksh par kulha di chalayega. yahi vah samay hai, jab shikari kisi pakshi ko usake basere se lakar pianjare mean band kar deta hai. kya vah usaki gardan par chhuri chalakar usaka madhur gan sunane ki asha rakhata hai ?

maianne doosara patr padhana shuroo kiya mere jivan-dhan ! do saptah javab ki pratiksha karane ke bad aj phir yahi ulahana dene baithi hooan. jab maianne vah patr likha tha, to mera man gavahi de raha tha ki usaka uttar zaroor ayega. asha ke viruddh asha lagaye hue thi. mera man ab bhi ise svikar nahian karata ki jan-boojhakar usaka uttar nahian diya. kadachith apako avakash nahian mila, ya eeshvar n kare, kahian ap asvasth to nahian ho gaye ? kisase poochhooan ? is vichar se hi mera hriday kaanp raha hai. meri eeshvar se yahi prarthana hai ki ap prasann aur svasth hoan. patr mujhe n likhean, n sahi, rokar chup hi to ho jaooangi. apako eeshvar ka vasta hai; agar apako kisi prakar ka kasht ho, to mujhe turant patr likhie, maian kisi ko sath lekar a jaooangi. maryada aur paripati ke bandhanoan se mera ji ghabarata hai, aisi dasha mean bhi yadi ap mujhe apani seva se vanchit rakhate haian, to ap mujhase mera vah adhikar chhin rahe haian, jo mere jivan ki sabase moolyavanh vastu hai. maian apase aur kuchh nahian maangati, ap mujhe mote-se-mota khilaie, mote-se-mota pahanaie, mujhe zara bhi shikayat n hogi. maian apake sath ghor-se-ghor vipatti mean bhi prasann rahooangi. mujhe abhooshanoan ki lalasa nahian, mahal mean rahane ki lalasa nahian, sair-tamashe ki lalasa nahian, dhan batorane ki lalasa nahian. mere jivan ka uddeshy keval apaki seva karana hai. yahi usaka dhayey hai. mere lie duniya mean koee devata nahian, koee guru nahian, koee hakim nahian. mere devata ap haian, mere raja ap haian, mujhe apane charanoan se n hataie, mujhe thukaraie nahian. maian seva aur prem ke phool liye, kartavy aur vrat ki bheant aanchal mean sajaye apaki seva mean ayi hooan. mujhe is bheant ko, in phooloan ko apane charanoan par rakhane dijie. upasak ka kam to pooja karana hai. devata usaki pooja svikar karata hai ya nahian, yah sochana usaka dharm nahian. mere sirataj ! shayad apako pata nahian, ajakal meri kya dasha hai. yadi maloom hota, to ap is nishthurata ka vyavahar n karate. ap purush haian, apake hriday mean daya hai, sahanubhooti hai, udarata hai, maian vishvas nahian kar sakati ki ap mujh jaisi nachiz par krodh kar sakate haian. maian apaki daya ke yogy hooan qitani durbal, kitani apang, kitani bezaban ! ap soory haian, maian anu hooan; ap agni haian, maian trin hooan; ap raja haian, maian bhikharin hooan. krodh to barabar valoan par karana chahie, maian bhala apake krodh ka aghat kaise sah sakati hooan ? agar ap samajhate haian ki maian apaki seva ke yogy nahian hooan, to mujhe apane hathoan se vish ka pyala de dijie. maian use sudha samajhakar sir aur aankhoan se lagaooangi aur aankhean band karake pi jaooangi. jab jivan apaki bheant ho gaya, to ap marean ya jilayean, yah apaki ichchha hai. mujhe yahi santosh kafi hai ki meri mrityu se ap nishchint ho gaye. maian to itana hi janati hooan ki maian apaki hooan aur sadaiv apaki rahooangi; is jivan mean hi nahian, balki anant tak.

abhagini,kusum

yah patr padhakar mujhe kusum par bhi jhuanjhalahat ane lagi aur us lauande se ghrina ho gayi. mana, tum stri ho, ajakal ke prathanusar purush ko tumhare oopar har tarah ka adhikar hai, lekin namrata ki bhi to koee sima hoti hai ? to use bhi chahie ki usaki bat n poochhe. striayoan ko dharm aur tyag ka path padha-padhakar hamane unake atm-samman aur atm-vishvas donoan hi ka ant kar diya. agar purush stri ka muhataj nahian, to stri bhi purush ki muhataj kyoan hai ? eeshvar ne purush ko hath diye haian, to kya stri ko usase vanchit rakha hai ? purush ke pas buddhi hai, to kya stri abodha hai ? isi namrata ne to maradoan ka mizaj asaman par pahuancha diya. purush rooth gaya, to stri ke lie mano pralay a gaya. maian to samajhata hooan, kusum nahian, usaka abhaga pati hi daya ke yogy hai, jo kusum-jaisi stri ki kadr nahian kar sakata. mujhe aisa sandeh hone laga ki is lauande ne koee doosara rog pal rakha hai. kisi shikari ke rangin jal mean phansa hua hai. khair, maianne tisara patr khola priyatam ! ab mujhe maloom ho gaya ki meri zindagi niruddeshy hai. jis phool ko dekhanevala, chunanevala koee nahian, vah khile to kyoan ? kya isilie ki murajhakar zamin par gir p de aur pairoan se kuchal diya jay ? maian apake ghar mean ek mahina rahakar dobara ayi hooan. sasuraji hi ne mujhe bulaya, sasuraji hi ne mujhe bida kar diya. itane dinoan mean apane ek bar bhi mujhe darshan n diye. ap din mean bisoan hi bar ghar mean ate the, apane bhaee-bahanoan se hॅsate-bolate the, ya mitroan ke sath sair-tamashe dekhate the; lekin mere pas ane ki apane kasam kha li thi. maianne kitani bar apake pas sandesh bheje, kitana anunay-vinay kiya, kitani bar besharmi karake apake kamare mean gayi; lekin apane kabhi mujhe aankh uthakar bhi n dekha. maian to kalpana hi nahian kar sakati ki koee prani itana hridayahin ho sakata hai. prem ke yogy nahian, vishvas ke yogy nahian, seva karane ke bhi yogy nahian, to kya daya ke bhi yogy nahian ? maianne us din kitani mehanat aur prem se apake lie rasagulle banaye the. apane unhean hath se chhua bhi nahian. jab ap mujhase itane viraktt haian, to meri samajh mean nahian ata ki jikar kya karooan ? n-jane yah kaun-si asha hai, jo mujhe jivit rakhe hue hai. kya andher hai ki ap saza to dete haian; par aparadh nahian batalate. yah kaun-si niti hai ? apako jnat hai, is ek mas mean maianne mushkil se das din apake ghar mean bhojan kiya hoga. maian itani kamazor ho gayi hooan ki chalati hooan to aankhoan ke samane andhera chha jata hai. aankhoan mean jaise jyoti hi nahian rahi ! hriday mean mano rakt ka sanchalan hi nahian raha. khair, sata lijie, jitana ji chahe. is aniti ka ant bhi ek din ho hi jayaga. ab to mrityu hi par sari ashaean tiki huee haian. ab mujhe pratit ho raha hai ki mere marane ki khabar pakar ap uchhaleange aur halki s aaus leange, apaki aankhoan se aansoo ki ek booand bhi n giregi; par yah apaka dosh nahian, mera durbhagy hai. us janm mean maianne koee bahut b da pap kiya tha. maian chahati hooan maian bhi apaki paravah n karooan, ap hi ki bhaanti apase aankhean pher looan, muanh pher looan, dil pher looan; lekin n-jane kyoan mujhamean vah shakti nahian hai. kya lata vriksh ki bhaanti kh di rah sakati hai ? vriksh ke lie kisi sahare ki zaroorat nahian. lata vah shakti kahaan se laye ? vah to vriksh se lipatane ke lie paida ki gayi hai. use vriksh se alag kar do aur vah sookh jayagi. maian apase prithakh apane astitv ki kalpana hi nahian kar sakati. mere jivan ki har ek gati, pratyek vichar, pratyek kamana mean ap maujood hote haian. mera jivan vah vritt hai, jisake kendr ap haian. maian vah har hooan, jisake pratyek phool mean ap dhage ki bhaanti ghuse haian. us dhage ke bagair har ke phool bikhar jayॅge aur dhool mean mil jayॅge.

meri ek saheli hai, shanno. usaka is sal panigrahan ho gaya hai. usaka pati jab sasural ata hai, shanno ke paanv zamin par nahian p date. din-bharamean n jane kitane roop badalati hai. mukh-kamal khil jata hai. ullas sanbhale nahian sanbhalata. use bikherati, lutati chalati hai, ham jaise abhagoan ke lie. jab akar mere gale se lipat jati hai, to harsh aur unmad ki varsha se jaise maian lathapath ho jati hooan. donoan anurag se matavale ho rahe haian. unake pas dhan nahian hai, jayadad nahian hai. magar apani daridrata mean hi magan haian. is akhand prem ka ek kshan ! usaki tulana mean sansar ki kaun-si vastu rakhi ja sakati hai ? maian janati hॅ, yah rangareliyaan aur bephikriyaan bahut din n raheangi. jivan ki chintaean aur durashaean unhean bhi parast kar deangi, lekin ye madhur smritiyaan sanchit dhan ki bhaanti ant tak unhean sahara deti raheangi. prem mean bhigi huee sookhi rotiyaan, prem mean range hue mote kap de aur prem ke prakash se alokit chhoti-si kothari, apani is vipannata mean bhi vah svad, vah shobha aur vah vishram rakhati hai, jo shayad devataoan ko svarg mean bhi nasib nahian. jab shanno ka pati apane ghar chala jata hai, to vah dukhiya kis tarah phoot-phootakar roti hai ki mera hriday gadgad ho jata hai. usake patr a jate haian, to mano use koee vibhooti mil jati hai. usake rone mean bhi, usaki viphalataoan mean bhi, usake upalambhoan mean bhi ek svad hai, ek ras hai. usake aansoo vyagrata aur vihvalata ke haian, mere aansoo nirasha aur du:kh ke. usaki vyakulata mean pratiksha aur ullas hai, meri vyakulata mean dainy aur paravashata. usake upalambh mean adhikar aur mamata hai, mere upalambh mean bhagnata aur rudan !

patr lamba hua jata hai aur dil ka bojh halaka nahian hota. bhayankar garami p d rahi hai. dada mujhe masoori le jane ka vichar kar rahe haian. meri durbalata se unhean 'ti.bi.' ka sandeh ho raha hai. vah nahian janate ki mere lie masoori nahian, svarg bhi kal-kothari hai.

abhagin, qusum

mere patthar ke devata ! kal masoori se laut ayi. log kahate haian, b da svasthyavardhakak aur ramanik sthan hai, hoga. maian to ek din bhi kamare se nahian nikali. bhagn-hridayoan ke lie sansar soona hai. maianne rat ek b de maje ka sapana dekha. batalaooan; par kya fayada ? n jane kyoan maian ab bhi maut se darati hooan. asha ka kachcha dhaga mujhe ab bhi jivan se baandhe hue hai. jivan-udyan ke dvar par jakar bina sair kiye laut ana kitana hasaratanak hai. andar kya sushama hai, kya anand hai. mere lie vah dvar hi band hai. kitani abhilashaoan se vihar ka anand uthane chali thi qitani taiyariyoan se par mere pahuanchate hi dvar band ho gaya hai.

achchha batalao, maian mar jaooangi to meri lash par aansoo ki do booandean

giraoge ? jisaki zindagi-bhar ki zimmedari li thi, jisaki sadaiv ke lie

b aauh pak di thi, kya usake sath itani bhi udarata n karoge ? maranevaloan

ke aparadh sabhi kshama kar diya karate haian. tum bhi kshama kar dena. akar

mere shav ko apane hathoan se nahalana, apane hath se sohag ke sindoor lagana,

apane hath se sohag ki choo diyaan pahanana, apane hath se mere muanh mean gangajal

dalana, do-char pag kandha de dena, bas, meri atma santusht ho jayagi aur

tumhean ashirvad degi. maian vachan deti hooan ki malik ke darabar mean tumhara yash

gaooangi. kya yah bhi mahॅga sauda hai ? itane-se shishtachar se tum apani

sari zimmedariyoan se mukt hue jate ho. ah ! mujhe vishvas hota ki tum

itana shishtachar karoge, to maian kitani khushi se maut ka svagat karati. lekin

maian tumhare sath anyay n karooangi. tum kitane hi nishthur ho, itane nirdayi

nahian ho sakate. maian janati hooan; tum yah samachar pate hi aoge aur shayad

ek kshan ke lie meri shok-mrityu par tumhari aankhean ro p dean. kahian maian apane

jivan mean vah shubh avasar dekh sakati !

achchha, kya maian ek prashn poochh sakati hooan ? naraz n hona. kya meri

jagah kisi aur saubhagyavati ne le li hai ? agar aisa hai, to badhaee ! jara

usaka chitr mere pas bhej dena. maian usaki pooja karooangi, usake charanoan par

shish navaooangi. maian jis devata ko prasann n kar saki, usi devata se usane

varadan prapt kar liya. aisi saubhagini ke to charan dho-dho pina chahie.

meri hardik ichchha hai ki tum usake sath sukhi raho. yadi maian us devi ki

kuchh seva kar sakati, aparoksh n sahi, paroksh roop se hi tumhare kuchh kam

a sakati. ab mujhe keval usaka shubh nam aur sthan bata do, maian sir

ke bal dau di huee usake pas jaooangi aur kahooangi devi, tumhari lauandi hooan,

isalie ki tum mere svami ki premika ho. mujhe apane charanoan mean sharan do.

maian tumhare lie phooloan ki sej bichhaooangi, tumhari maang motiyoan se bharooangi, tumhari

e diyoan mean mahavar rachaooangi yah meri jivan ki sadhana hogi ! yah n samajhana

ki maian jalooangi ya kudhooangi. jalan tab hoti hai, jab koee mujhase meri vastu chhin

raha ho. jis vastu ko apana samajhane ka mujhe kabhi saubhagy n hua, usake

lie mujhe jalan kyoan ho. abhi bahut kuchh likhana tha; lekin daktar sahab a gaye haian. bechara

hridayadah ko ti.bi. samajh raha hai.

du:kh ki satayi huee,

qusum

manasarovar : 339

in donoan patroan ne dhairy ka pyala bhar diya ! maian bahut hi aveshahin adami

hooan. bhavukata mujhe chhoo bhi nahian gayi. adhikaansh kalavidoan ki bhaanti maian bhi

shabdoan se andolit nahian hota. kya vastu dil se nikalati hai, kya vastu

keval marm ko sparsh karane ke lie likhi gee hai, yah bhed bahudha mere sahityik

anand mean badhak ho jata hai, lekin in patroan ne mujhe ape se bahar kar

diya. ek sthan par to sachamuch meri aankhean bhar ayian. yah bhavana kitani

vedanapoorn thi ki vahi balika, jis par mata-pita pran chhi dakate rahate the,

vivah hote hi itani vipadagrast ho jay ! vivah kya hua, mano usaki

chita bani, ya usaki maut ka paravana likha gaya. isamean sandeh nahian ki

aisi vaivahik durghatanaean kam hoti haian; lekin samaj ki vartaman dasha mean unaki

sambhavana bani rahati hai. jab tak stri-purush ke adhikar saman n hoange,

aise aghat nity hote raheange. durbal ko satana kadachith praniyoan ka svabhav

hai. katanevale kuttoan se log door bhagate haian, sidhe kutte par balavrind vinod

ke lie patthar pheankate haian. tumhare do naukar ek hi shreni ke hoan, unamean kabhi

jhag da n hoga; lekin aj unamean se ek ko aphasar aur doosare ko usaka

matahat bana do, phir dekho, aphasar sahab apane matahat par kitana rob

jamate haian. sukhamay dampaty ki nianv adhikar-samy hi par rakhi ja sakati

hai. is vaishamy mean prem ka nivas ho sakata hai, mujhe to isamean sandeh hai.

ham aj jise stri-purushoan mean prem kahate haian, vah vahi prem hai, jo svami ko

apane pashu se hota hai. pashu sir jhukaye kam kiye chala jay, svami use

bhoosa aur khali bhi dega, aur usaki deh bhi sahalayega, use abhooshan bhi

pahanayega; lekin janavar ne jara chal dhimi ki, jara gardan tedhi ki ki

malik ka chabuk pith par p da. ise prem nahian kahate. khair, maianne paanchav aau patr khola

jaisa mujhe vishvas tha, apane mere pichhale patr ka bhi uttar n diya.

isaka khula hua arth hai ki apane mujhe parityag karane ka sankalp kar

liya hai. jaisi apaki ichchha ! purush ke lie stri paanv ki jooti hai, stri

ke lie to purush dev tuly hai, balki devata se bhi badhakar. vivek ka uday

hote hi vah pati ki kalpana karane lagati hai. maianne bhi vahi kiya. jis

samay maian gu diya khelati thi, usi samay apane gudde ke roop mean mere manodesh

mean pravesh kiya. maianne apake charanoan ko pakhara, mala-phool aur naivedy se apaka

satkar kiya. kuchh dinoan ke bad kahaniyaan sunane aur padhane ki chat p di,

tab ap kathaoan ke nayak ke roop mean mere ghar aye. maianne apako hriday

mean sthan diya. balyakal hi se ap kisi-n-kisi roop mean mere jivan mean

ghuse hue the. ve bhavanaean mere antastal ki gaharaiyoan tak pahuanch gayi haian.

mere astitv ka ek-ek anu un bhavanaoan se guantha hua hai. unhean dil

se nikal dalana sahaj nahian hai. usake sath mere jivan ke paramanu bhi bikhar

jayॅge, lekin apaki yahi ichchha hai to yahi sahi. maian apaki seva mean sabakuchh

karane ko taiyar thi. abhav aur vipannata ka to kahana hi kya maian to

apane ko mita dene ko bhi raji thi. apaki seva mean mit jana hi mere

jivan ka uddeshy tha. maianne lajja aur sankoch ka parityag kiya, atm-samman

ko pairoan se kuchala, lekin ap mujhe svikar nahian karana chahate. majaboor hooan.

apaka koee dosh nahian. avashy mujhase koee aisi bat ho gayi hai, jisane

apako itana kathor bana diya hai. ap use jaban par lana bhi uchit

nahian samajhate. maian is nishthurata ke siva aur har ek saza jhelane ko taiyar

thi. apake hath se zahar ka pyala lekar pi jane mean mujhe vilamb n hota,

kintu vidhi ki gati nirali hai ! mujhe pahale is saty ke svikar karane mean

badha thi ki stri purush ki dasi hai. maian use purush ki sahachari, ardhaangini

samajhati thi, par ab meri aankhean khul gayian. maianne kee din hue ek pustak

mean padha tha ki adikal mean stri purush ki usi tarah sampatti thi, jaisa gay-bail

ya khetabari. purush ko adhikar tha stri ko beche, giro rakhe ya mar dale.

vivah ki pratha us samay keval yah thi ki var-paksh apane soor samantoan

ko lekar sashastr ata tha kanya ko u da le jata tha. kanya ke sath

kanya ke ghar mean rupaya-paisa, anaj ya pashu jo kuchh usake hath lag jata

tha, use bhi utha le jata tha. vah stri ko apane ghar le jakar, usake pairoan

mean be diyaan dalakar ghar ke andar band kar deta tha. usake atm-samman ke

bhavoan ko mitane ke lie yah upadesh diya jata tha ki purush hi usaka

devata hai, sohag stri ki sabase b di vibhooti hai. aj kee hazar varshoan ke

bitane par purush ke us manobhav mean koee parivartan nahian hua. purani sabhi

prathaean kuchh vikrit ya sanskrit roop mean maujood haian. aj mujhe maloom hua ki

us lekhak ne stri-samaj ki dasha ka kitana sundar niroopan kiya tha.

ab apase mera savinay anurodh hai aur yahi antim anurodh hai ki

ap mere patroan ko lauta dean. apake diye hue gahane aur kap de ab mere kisi

kam ke nahian. inhean apane pas rakhane ka mujhe koee adhikar nahian. ap

jis samay chahean, vapas mangava lean. maianne unhean ek petari mean band karake alag

rakh diya hai. usaki soochi bhi vahian rakhi huee hai, mila lijiega. aj se

ap meri jaban ya kalam se koee shikayat n suneange. is bhram ko bhoolakar

bhi dil mean sthan n dijiega ki maian apase bevaphaee ya vishvasaghat karooangi.

maian isi ghar mean kudh-kudhakar mar jaooangi, par apaki or se mera man kabhi

maila n hoga. maian jis jalavayu mean pali hooan, usaka mool tattv hai pati mean shradhda.

eershya ya jalan bhi us bhavana ko mere dil se nahian nikal sakati. maian apaki

kul-maryada ki rakshika hooan. us amanat mean jite-ji khanayat n karooangi.

agar mere bas mean hota, to maian use bhi vapas kar deti, lekin yahaan maian bhi

majaboor hooan aur ap bhi majaboor haian. meri eeshvar se yahi vinati hai ki ap

jahaan rahean, kushal se rahean. jivan mean mujhe sabase katu anubhav jo hua, vah yahi

hai ki nari-jivan adham hai apane lie, apane mata-pita ke lie, apane

pati ke lie. usaki qadar n mata ke ghar mean hai, n pati ke ghar mean. mera

ghar shokagar bana hua hai. ammaan ro rahi haian, dada ro rahe haian. kutumb ke

log ro rahe haian, ek meri zat se logoan ko kitani manasik vedana ho rahi

hai, kadachith ve sochate hoange, yah kanya kul mean n ati to achchha hota.

magar sari duniya ek taraph ho jay, apake oopar vijay nahian pa sakati.

ap mere prabhu haian. apaka phaisala atal hai. usaki kahian apil nahian, kahian

phariyad nahian. khair, aj se yah kand samapt hua. ab maian hooan aur mera

dalit, bhagn hriday. hasarat yahi hai ki apaki kuchh seva n kar saki !

abhagini,

qusum

342 : manasarovar

maloom nahian, maian kitani der tak mook vedana ki dasha mean baitha raha ki mahashay

navin bole apane in patroan ko padhakar kya nishchay kiya ?

maianne rote hue hriday se kaha agar in patroan ne us nar-pishach ke dil

par koee asar n kiya, to mera patr bhala kya asar karega. isase adhik

karuna aur vedana meri shakti ke bahar hai. aisa kaun-sa dharmik bhav hai,

jise in patroan mean sparsh n kiya gaya ho. daya, lajja, tiraskar, nyay, mere

vichar mean to kusum ne koee pahaloo nahian chho da. mere lie ab yahi antim

upay hai ki us shaitan ke sir par savar ho jaooan aur usase muanh-dar-muanh

batean karake is samasya ki tah tak pahuanchane ki cheshta karooan. agar usane

mujhe koee santoshaprad uttar n diya, to maian usaka aur apana khoon ek kar

dooanga. ya to mujhi ko phaansi hogi, ya vahi kalepani jayaga. kusum ne

jis dhairy aur sahas se kam liya hai, vah sarahaniy hai. ap use santvana

dijiega. maian aj rat ki ga di se muradabad jaooanga aur parasoan tak jaisi

kuchh paristhiti hogi; usaki apako soochana dooanga ! mujhe to yah koee charitrahin

aur buddhihin yuvak maloom hota hai.

maian us bahak mean jane kya-kya bakata raha. isake bad ham donoan bhojan

karake steshan chale. vah agare gaye, maianne muradabad ka rasta liya. unake

pran ab bhi sookhe jate the ki krodh ke avesh mean koee pagalapan n kar

baithooan. mere bahut samajhane par unaka chitt shant hua.

maian prat:kal muradabad pahuancha aur j aauch shuroo kar di. is yuvak ke

charitra ke vishay mean mujhe jo sandeh tha, vah galat nikala. muhalle mean, kalej

mean, usake isht-mitroan mean, sabhi usake prashansak the. andhera aur gahara hota hua

jan p da. sandhaya-samay maian usake ghar ja pahuancha. jis nishkapat bhav se

vah dau dakar mere pairoan par jhuka, vah maian nahian bhool sakata. aisa vakchatur, aisa

sushil aur vinit yuvak maianne nahian dekha. bahar aur bhitar mean itana

akash-patal ka antar maianne kabhi n dekha tha. maianne kushal-kshem aur

shishtachar ke do-char vakyoan ke bad poochha tumase milakar chitt prasann hua;

lekin akhir kusum ne kya aparadh kiya hai, jisaka tum use itana kathor

dand de rahe ho ? usane tumhare pas kee patr likhe, tumane ek ka bhi uttar

n diya. vah do-tin bar yahaan bhi ayi, par tum usase bole tak nahian.

manasarovar : 343

kya us nirdosh balika ke sath tumhara yah anyay nahian hai ?

yuvak ne lajjit bhav se kaha bahut achchha hota ki apane is prashn

ko n uthaya hota. usaka javab dena mere lie bahut mushkil hai. maianne to

ise ap logoan ke anuman par chho d diya tha; lekin is galatafahami ko

door karane ke lie mujhe vivash hokar kahana p dega.

yah kahate-kahate vah chup ho gaya. bijali ki batti par bhaanti-bhaanti

ke kit-patange jama ho gaye. kee jhiangur uchhal-uchhalakar muanh par a jate the;

aur jaise manushy par apani vijay ka parichay dekar u d jate the. ek b da-sa

aankhapho d bhi mej par baitha tha aur shayad jast marane ke lie apani deh

taul raha tha. yuvak ne ek pankha lakar mej par rakh diya, jisane vijayi

kit-patangoan ko dikha diya ki manushy itana nirbal nahian hai, jitana ve samajh

rahe the. ek kshan mean maidan saf ho gaya aur hamari batoan mean dakhal denevala

koee n raha.

yuvak ne sakuchate hue kaha sambhav hai, ap mujhe atyant lobhi, kamina

aur svarthi samajhean; lekin yatharth yah hai ki is vivah se meri vah abhilasha

n poori huee, jo mujhe pranoan se bhi priy thi. maian vivah par rajamand n tha,

apane pairoan mean be diyaan n dalana chahata tha; kintu jab mahashay navin bahut

pichhe p d gaye aur unaki batoan se mujhe yah asha huee ki vah sab prakar

se meri sahayata karane ko taiyar haian, tab maian raji ho gaya; par vivah hone

ke bad unhoanne meri bat bhi n poochhi. mujhe ek patr bhi n likha ki kab

tak vah mujhe vilayat bhejane ka prabandh kar sakeange. hal aauki maianne apani ichchha

un par pahale hi prakat kar di thi; par unhoanne mujhe nirash karana hi uchit

samajha. unaki is akripa ne mere sare manasoobe dhool mean mila diye. mere lie

ab isake siva aur kya rah gaya hai ki el-el.bi. pas kar looan aur

kachahari mean jooti phataphatata phirooan.

maianne poochha to akhir tum navinaji se kya chahate ho ? len-den mean

to unhoanne shikayat ka koee avasar nahian diya. tumhean vilayat bhejane ka

kharch to shayad unake kaboo se bahar ho.

yuvak ne sir jhukakar kaha to yah unhean pahale hi mujhase kah dena

chahie tha. phir maian vivah hi kyoan karata. unhoanne chahe kitana hi kharch

kar dala ho; par isase mera kya upakar hua ? donoan taraph se das-barah

hazar rupaye khak mean mil gaye aur unake sath meri abhilashaean khak mean

mil gayian. pitaji par to kee hazar ka rrin ho gaya hai. vah ab mujhe

ianglaiand nahian bhej sakate. kya poojy navinaji chahate to mujhe ianglaiand n bhej

dete ? unake lie das-paanch hazar ki koee haqikat nahian.

maian sannate mean a gaya. mere muanh se anayas nikal gaya chhi: ! vah

ri duniya ! aur vah re hindoo-samaj ! tere yahaan aise-aise svarth ke das p de

hue haian, jo ek abala ka jivan sankat mean dalakar usake pita par aise

atyacharapoorn dabav dalakar ooancha pad prapt karana chahate haian. vidyarjan ke

lie videsh jana bura nahian. eeshvar samarthy de to shauq se jao; kintu patni

ka parityag karake sasur par isaka bhar rakhana nirlajjata ki parakashtha hai.

tariph ki bat to tab thi ki tum apane purusharth se jate. is tarah kisi

ki gardan par savar hokar, apana atm-samman bechakar gaye to kya gaye.

is pamar ki drishti mean kusum ka koee mooly hi nahian. vah keval usaki

svarth-siddhi ka sadhanamatr hai. aise nich prakriti ke adami se kuchh tark karana

vyarth tha. paristhiti ne hamari chutiya usake hath mean rakhi thi aur hamean usake

charanoan par sir jhukane ke sivay aur koee upay n tha.

doosari ga di se maian agare ja pahuancha aur navinaji se yah vrittaant kaha.

un bechare ko kya maloom tha ki yahaan sari zimmedari unhian ke sir dal

di gayi hai. yadyapi is mandi ne unaki vakalat bhi thandi kar rakhi hai aur

vah das-paanch hazar ka kharch sugamata se nahian utha sakate lekin is yuvak

ne unase isaka sanket bhi kiya hota, to vah avashy koee-n-koee upay

karate. kusum ke siva doosara unaka kaun baitha hua hai ? un bechare ko to

is bat ka jnan hi n tha. atev maianne yoanhi unase yah samachar kaha,

to vah bol uthe chhi: ! is jara-si bat ko is bhale adami ne itana

tool de diya. ap aj hi use likh dean ki vah jis vakt jahaan padhane

ke lie jana chahe, shauq se ja sakata hai. maian usaka sara bhar svikar

karata hooan. sal-bhar tak nirdayi ne kusum ko rula-rulakar mar dala.

ghar mean isaki charcha huee. kusum ne bhi maan se suna. maloom hua, ek

hazar ka chek usake pati ke nam bheja ja raha hai; par is tarah, jaise kisi

sankat ka mochan karane ke lie anushthan kiya ja raha ho.

kusum ne bhrikuti siko dakar kaha ammaan, dada se kah do, kahian rupaye

bhejane ki zaroorat nahian.

mata ne vismit hokar balika ki or dekha qaise rupaye ? achchha !

vah ! kyoan isamean kya harj hai ? l dake ka man hai, to vilayat jakar padhe.

ham kyoan rokane lage ? yoan bhi usi ka hai, vo bhi usi ka nam hai. hamean

kaun chhati par ladakar le jana hai ?

'nahian ap dada se kah dijie, ek paee n bhejean.'

'akhir isamean kya buraee hai ?'

'isilie ki yah usi tarah ki dakajani hai, jaisi badamash log kiya

karate haian. kisi adami ko pak dakar le gaye aur usake gharavaloan se usake

muktidhan ke taur par achchhi rakam aianth li.'

mata ne tiraskar ki aankhoan se dekha.

'kaisi batean karati ho beti ? itane dinoan ke bad to jake devata sidhe

hue haian aur tum unhean phir chidhaye deti ho.'

kusum ne jhallakar kaha aise devata ka roothe rahana hi achchha. jo adami

itana svarthi, itana dambhi, itana nich hai, usake sath mera nirvah n hoga.

maian kahe deti hooan, vahaan rupaye gaye, to maian zahar kha looangi. ise dillagi n samajhana.

maian aise adami ka muanh bhi nahian dekhana chahati. dada se kah dena aur agar

tumhean dar lagata ho to maian khud kah dooan ! maianne svatantr rahane ka nishchay kar

liya hai.

maan ne dekha, l daki ka mukhamandal arakt ho utha hai. mano is prashn

par vah n kuchh kahana chahati hai, n sunana.

doosare din navinaji ne yah hal mujhase kaha, to maian ek atm-vismrit

ki dasha mean dau da hua gaya aur kusum ko gale laga liya. maian nariyoan mean

aisa hi atmabhiman dekhana chahata hooan. kusum ne vah kar dikhaya, jo mere

man mean tha aur jise prakat karane ka sahas mujhamean n tha.

sal-bhar ho gaya hai, kusum ne pati ke pas ek patr bhi nahian likha

aur n usaka zikr hi karati hai. navinaji ne kee bar jamaee ko mana lane

ki ichchha prakat ki; par kusum usaka nam bhi sunana nahian chahati. usamean

svavalamban ki aisi dridhata a gayi hai ki ashchary hota hai. usake mukh par nirasha aur vedana ke pilepan aur tejahinata ki jagah svabhiman aur svatantrata ki lali aur tejasvita bhasit ho gayi hai.

sanbandhit lekh

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