पण्डित मोटेराम की डायरी- प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

pandit moteram ki dayari

kya nam ki kuchh samajh men nahin ata ki deri aur deri pharm men kya sambandh! deri to kahate hain us chhoti-si sadi sajild pothi ko, jis par roj-roj ka vrittant likha jata hai aur jo pray: sabhi mahanh purush likha karate hain aur deri pharm us sthan ko kahate hain jahan gayen-bhainsen pali jati hain aur unaka doodh, makkhan, ghi taiyar kiya jata hai. aisa maloom hota hai, deri pharm isalie nam pada ki jaise deri men nity-prati ka samachar likha jata hai, us tarah nity-prati doodh-makkhan banata hai. jo kuchh ho, mainne ab deri likhane ka nishchay kar liya hai. kee sal pahale ek bar ek pustak vale ne mujhe ek deri bhent ki thi. tab mainne us par ek mahine tak apana hal likha; lekin mujhe usamen likhane ko kuchh soojhata hi n tha. rat ko sone se pahale ghanton baitha sochata-kya likhoon. likhane layaq koee bat bhi ho? yah likhana ki prat:kal utha, munh-hath dhoya, snan kiya, tilak-chandan lagaya, poojan kiya, yajamanon se mila, kahin sait banchane gaya; phir lautakar bhojan kiya aur soya. tisare pahar phir utha, bhng chhani, phir snan kiya, phir tilak lagaya aur katha banchane chala gaya; lautakar phir bhojan kiya aur so raha. yah sab likhana mujhe achchha n lagata tha. isalie us deri par mainne dhobi ke kapadon aur amadani-kharch likhakar use poora kiya. jab se vah deri samapt huee, tab se kharch-amadani ka hisab likhana chhod diya aur dhobi ke kapadon ka hisab panditain ke jimme dal diya.

lekin ab se phir deri likhana arambh kar raha hoon, isaka kya karan hai? mainne suna hai ki isase ayu badhati hai, aur charon padarth hath a jate hain. isalie ab main phir bhagavanh ka nam lekar, aur ganeshaji ke samane shish jhukakar deri likhana arambh karata hoon. om shanti: shanti: shanti:. kya nam ki ajakal samyavad aur samashtivad ki badi charcha sun raha hoon. samyavad ka arth yah hai ki sabhi manushy barabar hon. to main apane samyavadi vidvanon se jo is vishay ke achary hain, jaise-shri sampoornanand, achary narendradevaji aur achary shriprakashaji se poochhana chahata hoon ki sab manushy kaise barabar ho sakate hain? achary narendradevaji mujhe kshama karen ya n karen, magar unake jaise tin achary mere pet men sama sakate hain, phir yah kaisa samyavad? isaka matalab to yahi ho sakata hai ki ya main vaman roop dharan kar loonga vah virath roop dharan kar len.

achchha, ab doosari bat lijie. dhan to ap sabaka barabar kar dena chahate hain; lekin kripa karake yah batalaie ki ap sabake pet kaise barabar kar denge? achary narendradevaji ek-do phulake aur adh ghoont doodh pikar rah sakate hain; magar mujhe to pooja karane ke bad, madhyahn, tisare pahar aur rat ko, char bar tar mal chakachak chahie, jisamen laddoo, halava, malaee, badam, kalakand adi ka pradhany ho. agar apaka samyavad isaki garanti kare ki vah mujhe ichchhapoorn bhojan dega to main us par vichar kar sakata hoon aur agar ap chahate hon ki main bhi do phulake aur tole bhar doodh aur do tole bhaji khakar rahoon to aise samyavad ko mera door hi se pranam hai. main dhan nahin mangata; lekin bhojan antaphad chahata hoon, agar is tarah ki garanti di gayi, to vachan deta hoon ki main aur mere anek mitr samyavadi banane ko taiyar ho jaenge.

lekin ek bhojan hi se to kam nahin chalata. kapada hi le lijie. apako ek kurata aur ek topi chahie. kurate men ek gaj se adhik khaddar n lagega. main lambi angarakhi pahanata hoon, jisamen sat gaj se kam kapada nahin lagata. mainne daraji ke samane baithakar khud katavaya hai aur isaka vishvas dilata hoon ki isase kam men meri angarakhi nahin ban sakati. phir barah gaj ka safa, 5 gaj ki chadar oopar se. samyavad isaki garanti le sakata hai? dhan lekar mujhe kya karana hai, lekin bhojan aur vastr to chahie hi.

ap kahenge, kam sabake barabar karana padega. main svikar karata hoon, agar koee sajjan ghadi bhar pooja karen, to main do ghadi kar doonga; vah ghadi bhar snan karen to main do ghadi pani men rah sakata hoon, vah ek ghadi shastrarth karen to main bhojan-poojan adi ko chhodaqar din bhar shastrarth kar sakata hoon. isamen main kisi se pichhe hatane vala nahin.

ek bat aur. sthan ki mujhe paravah nahin; jhopadi bhi ho to main apana nibah kar sakata hoon. lekin rel yatra karate samay agar mujhe sabake barabar jagah mili, to us patari par baithane valon ko chhodaqar bhagana padega; kyonki main ek poori patari se kam men sama nahin sakata. doosari bat yah hai ki main sannata marakar nahin so sakata. nidra men ek vichitr prakar ka kharrata leta hoon. kabhi koee sajjan mere samip sote hain; to unhen rat ko uthakar bhagana padata hai. isalie apane hit ke lie nahin, doosaron ke hit ke lie main yah chahoonga ki mujhe ek poori kothari sone ko mile. agar samyavad isamen minamekh nikale to main usaki or ankh uthakar bhi n dekhoonga.

itana likh chuka tha ki panditain akar khadi ho gayin aur poochhane lagin-aj sabere-sabere yah kya likhane baith gaye. sethaji ke ladake ki kundali kyon nahin bana dalate? vyarth shastrarth karake apana moond kyon dukhavate ho?

main striyon ka apaman nahin karata. unhen ghar ki devi samajhata hoon. ve ghar ki lakshmi hain; ghar-girasti ke siva unase kisi aur bat men salah nahin leta! ghar ki lakshmi ko ghar tak hi rakhana chahata hoon. rajaniti, samaj, dharm adi ke vishay se unhen kya matalab. striyon ko sir chadhane ki in muththi-bhar padhe-likhe babuon ko jo sanak savar huee hai, main ise pasand nahin karata. panditain bhi ek din adhi banh ki jampar pahane hue nikalin jisase adhi chhati dikhaee de rahi thi, to mainne usi dam vah jampar utaravakar chhoda. vah bahut bigadin, lekin mainne bhi raudraroop dikhaya. akhirakar jab main danda lene dauda; to unhonne dhire se jampar utar diya aur munh phula baithin. mainne kaha-chahe munh phulao, chahe gal phulao, chahe sari deh phulakar kuppa ho jao, lekin is bhesh men main tumhen ghar se nikalane n doonga. khair, jab unhonne akar mujhe dant batayi; to mainne kah diya, ‘tum yah baten nahin samajh sakati, jakar apana kam dekho.’

panditain bolin-tumane char akshar padh liya to bade samajhadar ho gaye? abhi ek joon choolha n jalaoon to sari samajhadari nikal jae

kitana betuka javab tha. maro ghutana; phoote ankh! lekin mujhe ashchary nahin hua! unase main aise javab sunane ka abhyast ho gaya hoon. mainne jara kadaee ke sath kaha-tumhare matalab ki koee bat nahin hai devi, nahin to main tumhen suna deta.

‘koee kavitaee karate honge. yahi to tumhen rog hai.’

‘kavita karane ka rog mujhe kab tha? be-bat-ki bat karati ho. main kavitaee se itani door hoon, jitana poorab pashchim se. yah vesh-bhoosha, yah diladaul kaviyon ka hai? tum kya jano, kavi kise kahate hain? kavi vah hai, jisaki soorat se kavita barasati ho. bas, main kavitaee nahin kar raha hoon, ek samajik prashn par kuchh shnkaen upasthit karane ka saubhagy-sindoor prapt kar raha hoon.’

pandit ke pandityapoorn kathan se vah kuchh rob men a gayin. lekin main thoda sa budghoo bhi hoon. usi vakt mujhe hnsi a gayi. bas, panditain laut padin aur mere hath se lekh chhinakar bolin-main samajh gayi, kisi ko premapatr likh rahe ho?

ab nahin to ab bani. main gngajal lekar shapath kha sakata hoon ki mainne aj tak n jana prem kis chidiy़a ka nam hai. meri premika tar mal hai. doosara prem meri samajh men hi nahin ata; lekin panditain ko n jane kyon mujh par sandeh hota rahata hai. premiyon ki dasha dekhakar to mujhe un par hnsi ati hai. jab dekho, ro rahe hain. thandi sansen khinch rahe hain. n kuchh khate hain, n pite hain, khase lakalak bane hue hain, phoonk do to ud jaen. is tarah ka prem karake to main tisare din snsar se vida ho jaoon? lekin is sandeh ka nivaran karana ab lazim ho gaya.

mainne thode se shabdon men panditain ko samyavad ka tatv samajhane ki cheshta ki. jab main apana kathan samapt kar chuka, to vah ankhen matakakar bolin-ai nauj tumhara samavad! kuchh ghas to nahin kha gaye ho. jisake bal vnsh n hon, ve samavad ki bat sochen. mujhe to bhagavan ne panch-panch putr diye hain, aur chhathavan ane vala hai. main samavad ke pher men kyon padoon? ‘mere barabar ho padosan, goda-roti khay’ achchha samavad hai. mere lal jite ji rahenge, to mang khaenge.

vah aur bhi n jane kya-kya anap-shanap bakati rahin; lekin unaki baton se mere man men ek shnka utpann ho gayi. samyavad men kahin santan-nigrah ka bandhan to nahin hai? kyonki is tarah ka koee sambandh hua to phir mera usase koee sampark n rahega. main is vishay men kisi se samajhauta n karoonga. pichhe se thukka-phajihat karana mujhe pasand nahin. achary mujhe spasht batala den ki mujhe grihasthashram ka tyag to n karana padega? main isaki svadhinata chahata hoon ki jitani santanen aven unaka svagat karoon; kyonki main janata hoon, janm dene vale bhagavan hain aur palan karane vale bhi bhagavan hain. main to nimitt-matr hoon.

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kya nam hai ki main pandit moteram vald pandit chhoteram svargavasi, sakin vishvanathapuri jo shnkar bhagavan ke tirasool par basi hai, aj bambee men danadana raha hoon. ek yajaman sethaji ne tar bheja, ham bade snkat men hain, turant ao. tar ke sath dabal tisare daraje ka kiraya bhi. isalie hamane chatapat bambee ko prasthan kar diya! apane yajaman par snkat pade, to ham kaise ruk sakate the. sethaji ek bar kashi aye the. vahan main bhi nimantran men gaya tha. vahin meri unaki jan-pahachan huee. bat karane men main pakka phikait hoon. bas yahi samajh lo ki koee mujhe nimantran bhar de de, phir main apani baton se gyan gholata hoon vedon-shastron ki aisi vyakhya karata hoon ki kya majal jo yajaman ulloo n ho jae. yogasan, hastarekha, santanashastr, vashikaran adi sabhi vidyaen, jin par seth-mahajanon ka pakka vishvas hai, meri jihva par hain. agar poochho ki kyon pandit moteram shastri, apane in vidyaon ko padha bhi hai? to main dnke ki chot par kahata hoon, mainne kabhi nahin padha. in vidyaon ka kya rona, hamane kuchh nahin padha, poore lanth hain, nirakshar mahanh : lekin phir bhi kisi bade-se-bade pustakachatoo, shastraghontoo, pandit ka samana kara do, chapet n doon to moteram nahin. ji han, chapet doon, aisa chapetoon, aisa ragedoon ki panditaji ko bhagane ka rasta n mile! pathak kahenge; yah asambhav hai, bhala ek moorkh adami mahanh pandit kaise ragedega. main kahata hoon priyavar, pustak chatane se koee vidvanh nahin ho jata. jo vidvanh aj is yug men shraddh, pindadan aur varnashram men vishvas rakhata ho, jo aj gobar aur gomootr ko pavitr samajhata ho, jo devapooja ko mukti ka sadhan samajhata hai, vah vidvanh kaise ho sakata hai? main khud yajamanon men yah sab krity karata hoon, ni:sandeh janata hoon, halava aur kalakand kisi atma ke pet men nahin, mere pet men jata hai, phir bhi yajamanon ko moodata hoon, to isalie ki meri yah jivika hai. jivika nahin chhodi jati, aur isalie yajaman khud bevakooph banana chahata hai, panch paise ka goodan karake bhavasagar par utarana chahata hai, to mujhe kya kutte ne kata hai jo kahoon ki yah sab mithya hai. sarasar ati huee lakshmi ko kaun dutkarata hai? lekin panditon ke bich men doosari bat ho jati hai. vahan mujhe apani jivika ka dar nahin rahata aur main bhigo-bhigokar lagata hoon, kabhi dahine, kabhi bayen, chaundhiya deta hoon, sans nahin lene deta. bas panditon ke pas isake siva aur javab nahin rahata ki tum nastik ho.

magar main apane vishay se bahakakar kahan ja pahuncha. jab main bambee chalane ko taiyar hua, to panditain rone lagin. kahane lagin, batao kai din men aoge. do-tin din men zaroor se laut ana. main jo us vakt bata doon ki do din pahunchane men lag jaenge, to phir vah mera pind n chhodatin. isalie bade prem bhare shabdon men kaha-priye, mera ji tumhin men laga rahega. khaoonga to tumhare karakamalon ki gudagudi rotiyan aur patali dal yad aegi. pani pioonga to tumhare papadiy़aye hue adharon ka dhyan bana rahega. sote-jagate, uthate-baithate, bas tumhare hi pas man mndarata rahega. isase unhen kuchh dhadhas hua. lekin kya nam ki stri ka hriday kuchh atapata hota hai. ekaek bol uthin-mujhe tumhare oopar vishvas nahin ata. kaun jane tum vahan kaise jao. kahin tum kuchh gadabad n kar baitho. mainne turant samajhaya-pranapriye, mujhe tumhare prem men page lagabhag 45 sal hue. kya tum samajhati ho ki itane dinon men jo rng jama hai, vah do-char din men phika pad jaega? kahan tumhara khayal hai! boli-kya jane bhaee, tum maradon ka hal kaun jane? yahan to aisi mithi-mithi baten karate ho, vahan jakar kya jane kya kar baitho. main vahan thodi baithi rahoongi ki tumhari dekhabhal karati rahoon. main to ek sariyat par jane doongi, ki tum gngajal hath se lekar kaho ki vahan kuchh gadabad-sadabad n karoonga. main man men hnsa aur gngajal lekar kasam khayi. tab jake panditain ka chitt shant hua.

chalane ko to chala; lekin hriday mera bhi kanpata tha. prayag tak to mera man thikane raha; lekin jab phir bhi bambee ka kahin pata n chala, to mujhe rona a gaya. bhagavan! yah to kalapani hai. din bhar chala, bambee nadarad. rat-bhar chala, bambee nadarad. samajh gaya ki kashi men marana n bada tha. maje se gngasnan karata tha, vishvanath ke darshanon ka punn lootata tha aur dheli barah ane kahin-n-kahin se pit hi lata tha aur yahan gadi men baithe n jane kis lok ko chale ja rahe hain. itani door to chandrama bhi n honge. mujhe bhram ho gaya ki yatri aur rel karmachari sab mujhe dhokha de rahe hain. bambee zaroor pichhe chhoot gayi. bare koee das baje bambee ka nam suna. jan ayi. dekha to yajaman sethaji mera svagat karane ke lie khade the. unhonne palagan kiya; magar asis kaun deta hai, yahan to chola bhasam ho raha tha. mainne brahm tej se garajakar kaha-tumane mujhe likha kyon nahin ki bambee lnka ke pas hai? abhi tak jal nahin grahan kiya. pran chhatapata ke nikalane ja raha tha; bare mainne yogabal se rok liya. main jhooth bol raha tha. main raste bhar phalahari khata raha aur rel se utarakar pani pita chala a raha tha; lekin aise yajamanon ke samane apane nem ka dnka baja dena phaladayak hota hai. sethaji ne daudaqar meri adhari kandhe par rakhi aur lage ghighiyane-maharaj, kshama kiya jay, main kya janata tha ki maharaj ko bambee .......

mainne phir danta-maharaj ko bambee se kya sambandh? apane log tirth sthanon men rahate hain ki rakshason ke desh men? yahan vah rahe, jo dhan ka lobhi ho. ham brahmanon ko apana dharm pyara hai.

is dant se sethaji ki nani mar gayi. bahar aye to motar khadi thi. baithakar yajaman ke ghar chale. vah re bambee! vahan to adami pagal ho jae. sadaqen n jane kyon itani chaudi banayi hain. hamari chaukhambhevali kitani gulazar gali hai ki vah! yahan ki sadaqen hain ki balemiyan ka maidan hai. magar bambee ka hal phir likhenge. is vakt to sethaji ke snkat ki katha kahani hai, jisake lie ham itani door se bulaye gaye hain. snkat yah ki sethaji ne satta khela hai aur chahate hain; main koee aisa anushthan karoon ki sethaji ke pau-barah ho jaen. mamala gahara hai, koee dedh lakh ka. mainne yah vrittant sunakar aisa gambhir munh banaya, manon sab kuchh mere hath men hai. phir bola-sethaji, ap jo hain so mere yajaman hain aur mujhe jo kuchh vidya ati hai, usamen kuchh utha n rakhoonga. aur yah ap janate hain ki mujhe kisi bat se mamata nahin rahi. brahman ko dhan se kya prayojan? dhan chahata to ab tak lakhon bator leta. kitane yajaman mere anushthanon se karodapati ho gaye, lakhapatiyon ki to ginati hi nahin. main vahi brahman ka brahman bana hoon. to bat kya hai? ham mamata ko pas nahin ane dete. sadhe sat sau kos se hi lalakarate hain, khabaradar jo idhar munh kiya! han, bat itani hai ki anushthanon men paise kharach hote hain. agar yahi anushthan vidhipoorvak karoon to dedh-do sau se kam n kharch honge. yah samajh lijie.

lekin main is 65 sal ki avastha men bhi ponga hi raha. mainne dedh-do sau apani samajh men bahut kahe the. isase oonche jane ki mujhe himmat hi n padi. kabhi itana bada shikar to phnsa nahin tha usake danv-ghat kya samajhata? sethaji ka munh latak gaya. unhonne das-barah hazar ka anuman kiya tha. dedh-do sau sunakar meri sari pratishtha unake hriday se nikal bhagi. kya svarn snyog diya tha bhagavanh vishvanath ne, lekin takadir khoti hai to unaka kya bas? das hazar kah deta to janm bhar ke lie ayachy ho jata. bolate-bolate bola kya? dedh-do sau! dhath tere pongapan ka satyanash ho! ab to yahi ji chahata hai ki jakar samudr men kood padoon. usi din ek doosare ghonghanath shastri ke nam tar gaya. ab yah paththa akar in sethaji ko moondega. 20 hazar se kam n lega; lekin ab pachhatane se kya hota hai. phir bhi mainne socha, bala se main nahin pa raha hoon. koee doosara kyon le jave? mera kya? yah dharm nahin hai ki apane yajaman ki in luteron se raksha karoon? bola mainne keval samagri ka mooly diya. dakshina main leta nahin. ek hazar rupaye vipron ki dakshina bhi samajh lijie.

seth bole-usase koee matalab nahin, vah to yahan se alag diya jaega. apaki samagri to kul 200) ki hogi?

mainne kaha-bas, isase adhik nahin. han, aise logon ko bhi janata hoon, jo isi anushthan ke lie 10 hazar, 15 hazar tak le lenge. lagega to dhaee-tin sau, shesh apane pet men thoons lenge. isalie aise dhoorton se sachet rahiega.

lekin seth ke kanth tale se yah bat n dhnsi. bola-yah ap kya kahate ho shastriji? gud jitana hi dalo utana hi mitha pakavan hoga. apaka anushthan 200) ka hai. ap kijie. lekin bina bade anushthan ke mera kam n chalega.

ab bhi mujhe apana ulloo phansane ka mauqa tha. kah sakata tha, sethaji, apaka kam to chhote anushthan se hi nikal sakata hai, lekin apaki ichchha hai to main maha-maha-maha mrityunjay-path aur brahm-pravikshak kriya bhi kar sakata hoon. han, usamen koee sadhe terah hazar ka kharch hai; magar yah to ab soojh rahi hai. us vakt akl par patthar pad gaya tha. meri bhi vichitr khopadi hai. jab soojhati hai, avasar nikal jane par. han, mainne yah nishchay kar liya ki pandit ghonghanath ko bina das-panch ghisse diye n chhodoonga. ya to beta se adha rakha loonga, ya phir yahin bambee ke maidan men hamari unaki thanegi. vah vidvanh honge. yahan sari javani akhade men kati hai. bhurakus nikal doonga.

apani is pichhil-soojhata par pachhata raha tha ki dakiya ek tikona sa bairng liphapha lakar mujhe de gaya. samajh gaya, panditain ki kripa hai. aj yah patr hath men lekar mujhe sachamuch unaki yad a gayi. bechari ne mere sath 45 sal kat diye, aur main barabar use baton men talata raha. ankhen sajal ho gayin. patr khola. likha tha. svasti shri sarv upama yog ... so tum jay ke bambee men baithi rahyau, kan men tel darikai. hamaka roj sapana dikhat hai. daran ke mare nind nahin avati hai. katon tum kuchh gadabadi़ n kari baitho, yahi chinta men hamar paran sookha jat hai. tum kahihau ham 65 sal ke hoe gayen, abaka janm bhar gadabade karat rahibe. mula sunit hai, baidan sab ais-ais birava nikaren hain ki ohika khayake manee bauray jat hai. ek baid jhansi man hai, ek aur katon hai. tumar hath jorit hai, tum kauno aukhad n khayo. tum gngajal uthay ke jaun paran kihyau ohika nibah karai ka pari. ham tumaka sand n banai deb.

lijie sahab, ab main sand ho gaya. kamar sidhi hoti nahin, dedh ser malaee bhi nahin pachaye pachati, aur vahan panditain mujhe sand bana rahi hain. so yahan bhi apani hi bhool hai. main panditain ke samane apani javanmaradi aur purusharth ki ding mara karata hoon. vah goo kya jane, yah labadiy़a hai. main jo kuchh kahata hoon, use brahmavaky samajh baithati hain aur usaka yah phal hai. is yatra se snbhavat: meri drishti kuchh sookshm ho rahi hai.

3

kya nam ki jab mainne dekha ki ab to mujhase bhool ho hi gayi aur bahut khinchatan karane par bhi do se beshi n milenge, to mainne socha, lao aur kuchh n sahi to isake sau pachas rupaye bhojanon men hi bigad do. yah bhi kya samajhega ki kisi se pala pada tha. bas, mainne shnkar bhagavanh ka sumiran kiya aur vinati ki-he umapati, ab tumhin meri raksha karo, main to ab pranon se hath dhokar bhojan par jutata hoon. nashta aya to mainne kah diya-mujhe apake maharaj ke hath ki bani chijon men koee svad nahin ata, mujhe to ap samagri de dijie, main apana bhojan ap paka loonga. bhandari ne kaha-jaisi apaki ichchha, jo agya ho vah hajir karoon. mainne nashte ka nusakha bataya-sava ser taja makkhan, adh ser badam, adh ser pishte, adh tole kesar, ser bhar sooji aur ser bhar shakkar. bhandari mera munh takane laga. mainne kaha-munh kya takate ho, kya bandhakar le jane ko mangata hoooon. jakar chatapat lao. bas mainne ghoti bhng aur chadhaya gola aur vishvanath ka nam lekar halava banane baith gaya. shnkar ki daya se aisa svadisht padarth bana ki kya kahoon. palathi marake jo baitha, to adh ghante men saph. makkhi ke lie bhi n bacha. bhandari ke hosh ud gaye. dopahar ko phir mainne pooriyan pakayin. adhoadh moyan dekar. rat ko kuchh khane ki ichchha n hone par bhi mainne sava ser malaee chadha li.

lekin ab vah javani to hai nahin ki eent-patthar jo pet men pahunch jae, vah sab bhasm. tisare hi din mujhe udar-vikar ke lakshan dikhe. mainne socha-yahan kisi se kahata hoon, to sab yahi kahenge ki brahman ki jat, khane ke pichhe pran de raha hai. isalie muhalle hi men ek daktar ke pas koee pachak-bati lene chala gaya. bada bhari makan, motar, phon. mainne apana parichay diya to daktar ne mujhe gaur se dekha aur bole-kashi se ata hai?

mainne kaha-han sahab, vishvanathaji apako prasann rakhen, yahan kuchh bhojan prakriti ke anukool n milane ke karan pachan dooshit ho gaya hai. koee aushadhi pradan kijie.

daktar mujhe ek alag kamare men le gaya aur ek mej par letakar mera pet tatolane laga. phir sine ki pariksha ki; pith thonki ankhen dekhin, jibh nikalavakar pariksha li. is tarah koee adh ghante tak meri dalel karane ke bad bola-vel panditaji, apako kuchh ti0bi0 ke asar maloom deta hai. apako usaka davaee karane hoga. ham ti0bi0 ka isapisalist hai. apako achchha kar sakata hai; par apako abhi ek doosara daktar ke pas apane khoon ka mulahaja karana hoga. bina khoon dekhe ham kuchh nahin kar sakata. ham apako chiththi deta hai. ap daktar soobedar ke pas jaen. vah chaupati men rahata hai. ham chiththi deta hai. apake blad ka mulahaja karake hamako likhega.

mere hosh fakhata ho gaye. panditain ki yad ayi. bhagavanh, kya bambee men meri mitti ki durdasha karoge. aya tha ki kuchh kamakar jaoonga; so yahan jan par bita chahati hai. abhi kashi se chala hoon to koee bat n thi. khasa satha-patha bana hua tha ki bambee ka pani hai, aur kuchh nahin. dube vijayanand ne kaha tha, bambee ka pani kharab hai, jara snbhalakar rahana. lekin yah kya janata tha ki das-panch din men hi sil dhare leta hai; lekin ab pachhataye kya hota hai. chalo, lahoo bhi dikha lo, aur phir dar kis bat ka hai. mar hi to jaenge. yahan amar kaun hai. jara kachchi girasti hai; yahi chinta hai. agar janata ki ant itana nikat hai to pichhale do ladake kyon hote aur tisara garbh men kyon rahata. lekin hari ki ichchha. tulasidasaji ne kaha bhi to hai-

sut banitadi jani svaratharat n karu neh sabahi te,

antahun tohi tajenge pamar, too n taje abahi te.

main yahan se chala to dil bahut chhota ho gaya tha; lekin daktar sahab ne turant toka-hamara phis 32 rupaya hua. sethaji ke pas bil bhej dega n?

agar abhi tak yamaraj n aye the, to ab a gaye, 32 rupaya phis! jo umar men kabhi nahin di! baid, daktar ko amir log paisa dete hain? ham shnkar ke upasak to keval ashirvad se kam nikalate hain. kashi men jab kabhi kam padata tha, daktar chaudhari, daktar banarji, daau0 seth adi jisake pas chala gaya davaee le aya, oopar se rupaye-ath ane bidaee jhatak aya. aur yahan jara-si pariksha ki to 32 rupaya phis. ankhon tale andhera chha gaya; lekin phir socha ab to mar hi rahe ho, rupaye-paise ke maya moh men kya pade ho. 32 rupaya kharch hue to hue, maloom to ho gaya ki tapedik ho gaya hai. nahin yon hi ek din chal dete, kisi ko pata n chalata. dava daroo karane ki naubat hi n ati. bhala, dava karane ka avasar mil gaya. aur adami kamata hi kisalie hai. lekin yah poochh lena avashyak maloom hua ki daau0 soobedar ko to kuchh n dena padega. atev mainne is vishay ka prashn kiya.

daau0 sahab zor se hnse. bole-tum kashi ka vidvanh log bada majak karata hai. kashi ke ek pandit ko dakshana dene se sab pandit to nahin parasan ho jaega. bole?

hamane kaleja thamakar poochha-to unaki kya phis hogi?

‘usaka phis keval 10 rupaya hai.’

mainne man se kaha-chalo man yah 10 rupaya bhi gam khao. bambee men jo kamana hai, vah sab dekar bhi pran bache to samajhana chahie, naya jivan paya. nahin yahin baithe-baithe ten ho jaenge, koee rone vala bhi n milega. us vakt aisa vairagy savar hua ki sab chhod-chhadaqar nikal bhagoon, kabir ka vah pad yad aya jise padhaqar main kabhi-kabhi hnsa karata tha. dhoortataee men jivan kat gaya. ab is kaya ki kya duradasa hogi bhagavan-

divane man bhajan du:kh paiho.
pahila janam bhoot ka paiho, sat janam pachhataiho;
kira par ke pani paiho, pyasan hi mari jaiho.
dooja janam suva ka paiho, bag basera laiho;
toote pnkh baj mndarane adhaphad pran gnvaiho.
bajigar ke banar hoihau, lakadiऩ nach nachaiho;
oonch-nich ke hath pasarihau, mange bhikh n paiho.
telin ke ghar baila hoihau, ankhin dhanp dhaipaiho;
kos pachas gharai man chaliho, bahar hon n paiho.
panchavan janam oont ka paiho, bin tole bo ladaiho;
baithe to uthan n paiho, ghurach-ghurach mari jaiho.
dhobi ghat ke gadaha hoihau, kati ghas n paiho,
ladi ladi apu chadh baithe laike ghat pahunchaiho.

akhir yahi kahana pada ki han sethaji ke pas bil bhej dena. phir vahan ka pata poochhata hua daktar soobedar ke pas pahuncha. koee das baj gaye the, pet men mitha-mitha dard hone laga tha; lekin socha is jhamele se nibat lo, phir vishvanathaji ki jaisi ichchha hogi, vah to hoga hi.

daau0 soobedar yuvak-se lagate, kot-paint se lais. mainne patr jo diya, apane le jakar bhitar ke kamare men leta diya aur aise zor se meri banh men suee chubho diya ki main ainthakar rah gaya. banh men se rakt nikal pada. usane ek shishe se nalaki men le liya aur meri banh men kuchh potakar ek tisari kothari men jakar n jane kya karata raha. phir akar bola-vel panditaji, apake blad men ti0bi0 ka jarm dikhaee deta hai. apako kisi pahad par jana hoga aur vahan aram se rahana hoga. apako padhऩa-likhana band karana hoga, lekin abhi ham kuchh thik-thik nahin kah sakata, ap daau0 ghodepurakar ke pas jae, vah apaka yoorin dekhega. usaka riport lekar tab ham apana riport dega. tab ap daktar lampat ke pas jaega. phir vah kuchh kahega, vah apako karana hoga.

mere badan men ag lag gayi. ji men to aya, maroon goli in daauktaron ko aur chalakar do paise ki harad mngavakar usaki phnki phank loon. marana hi bada hai, to sari duniya ke daktar bhi to nahin zila sakate; lekin jan ka lobh bada balavan hota hai. unaki chiththi lekar pata poochhata hua chala daktar ghodepurakar ke pas. isane mujhase ek chonge men laghushnka karavayi aur badi der tak n jane kya karata raha. phir mujhe riport likhakar di aur kaha-daau0 soobedar ke pas jaie. soobedar ke pas phir pahuncha, to tin baj gaye the. apane apani riport di, to aya daau0 lampat ke pas. daktar lampat ne donon riporton ko bade dhyan se dekha aur bole-mera anuman thik tha panditaji, apako ti0bi0 ho gaya hai.

mainne sajal-netr hokar poochha-to main mar jaoonga?

‘nahin-nahin, ham apako marane nahin dega. apako pahad par rahana hoga. achchha bhojan karane se ap bach sakata hai. apako andon ka sevan karana hoga.’

mainne kanon par hath rakhakar kaha-kya kaha, andon ka? main ande hath se nahin chhoo sakata, khane ki kaun kahe!

‘oh! yah sab arathodaksi yahan nahin chalega. tumako ande khana hoga.’

‘ande main kisi tarah nahin kha sakata.’

‘tum mar jaega.’

‘koee chinta nahin.

‘ham davaee deta hai, ise to pi sakata hai.’

‘na! ab n koee dava khaoonga; n kisi daktar ke pas jaoonga.’

yah kahakar main sethaji ki kothi par laut aya. din-bhar jo kuchh bhojan n kiya tha, to bhookh chamachama uthi thi. booti chhani, shauch gaya aur phir khoob datakar bhojan kiya.

sahasa sethaji ghabadaye hue aye aur bole-panditaji, kya apaka mulahaja kiya tha lampat sahab ne! apako to ti0bi0 batate hain.

mainne kaha-vah apake ghar ane ka purasakar hai, aur kya?

‘ap aj hi kashi chale jaie.’

‘main bina anushthan poora kiye nahin ja sakata.’

‘nahin, nahin, koee darakar nahin, ap isi nau baje ki gadi se chale jaen.’

mainne usaki ghabarahat dekhi to samajh gaya, vah brahmahatya se dar raha hai. bas, phir kya tha. meri lah gayi.

mainne kaha-bina anushthan poora kiye laut jane men pranon ka bhay hai. isaka upachar karane men kam-se-kam ek hazar ka kharach hai. main vah kahan se laoonga. phir marane se kya darana! yahin mar jaoonga to kya chinta.

sethaji kanpate hue bole-nahin panditaji, apaka jo kuchh kharch pade, vah lijie aur aj hi chal dijie.

bas munimaji bulae gaye aur phir sau-sau ke das not mere charanon par rakh diye. mainne vishvanathaji ko dhanyavad diya, not ganth men kiye aur ti0bi0 ko aisa bhoola ki vah bhi mujhe bhool gaya.

4

kya nam ki main jahan jata hoon, vahin kuchh-n-kuchh log mere pichhe pad jate hain, aur a-akar mujhe dik karate hain. bambee men bhi bhale adamiyon se gala n chhoota. yah to hota nahin ki akar ek mohar mere charanon par rakhen aur tab apani katha sunayen. bas akar lagate hain apani katha sunane aur chahate hain ki main sent-ment men unhen anushthan bata doon. to yahan aise ulloo nahin hain. sunane ko sun lete hain, lekin anushthan batane ke lie pachason bar daudate hain, aisa padate hain ki vah bhag khada hota hai. jab koee daktar sent-ment men kisi rogi ko nahin dekhata, koee vakil sent men koee misil nahin chhoota to main kyon sent men apani vidya lutata phiroon? vah vidya kya hai, yah main janata hoon, usi tarah jaise vakil aur daktar apani vidya ko janate hain; lekin bhaee, ek-doosare ka parda kyon kholo. snsar usaka hai, jo use bevakooph banaye, jise yah kala nahin ati, vah kaudi ka tin hai.

kal bhng-booti se nipatakar malaee par hath saf kar raha tha ki ek sajjan akar baith gaye. kot, paint, kalar, boot, hait, khase sahab bahadur the. chehara lataka hua, mano patni mar gayi ho, bole-apaka nam pandit moteram shastri hai?

mainne kaha-han, mera hi nam hai. kahie, apaki kya seva karoon!

sahab bahadur ne jeb se roomal nikala aur sir ka pasina ponchhate hue kaha-main bade snkat men pad gaya hoon mahashay! kuchh akl kam nahin karati. ab ap hi beda par lagaie to lage.

mere hriday men gudagudi huee. yah to koee shikar maloom hota hai.

bola-bhagavan ki daya se sari badhaen door ho jaengi, kuchh chinta mat kijie.

‘kya kahoon mahoday, kahate snkoch ho raha hai.’

‘snkoch ki koee bat nahin, santan to meri muththi men hai. kahie to balakon se apaka ghar bhar doon. bas ek anushthan .....’

‘ji nahin, balakon se to mujhe prem nahin. main santan virodhi hoon.’

‘achchha to kya dhan ki ichchha hai?’

‘dhan ki ichchha kise n hogi; lekin is vakt main is hetu se apaki seva men nahin aya tha.’

‘to kaho n? paushtik anushthanon ki bhi mere pas kami nahin. choorn, avaleh, goli, bhasm, asav, kvath, kisi chiz ke sevan karane ki avashyakata nahin, bas panch bar us mantr ki jap karake so jaie, phir usaki karamat dekhie.’

‘main is samay ek doosare hi kam se seva men aya tha.’

mujhe kuchh nirasha hone lagi. hatthe par chadhऩe vala nahin jan padata. phir bhi mainne dilasa diya-jo ichchha ho vah nissnkoch kaho.

usane poochha-ap usamen apana apaman to n samajhenge?

ab mere kan khade hue, utsukata aur badhi.

‘apaman ki bat hogi, to avashy apaman samajhoonga.’

‘bat yah hai ki kal sandhya samay mere mata-pita desh se a gaye hain.’

‘bahut achchhi bat hai tumhen unaka adar-satkar karana chahie.’

‘lekin karoon kaise yah samajh men nahin ata. kal se unhonne bhojan nahin kiya!’

‘bhojan nahin kiya! yah to bada anarth hai. kuchh udar vikar ho gaya hai. main ayurved bhi janata hoon.’

‘nahin-nahin shastriji, vah to apase bhi bhari diladaul ke hain.’

‘bhari diladaul ke log kya bimar nahin padate?’

‘padate honge; par phadar kabhi bimar nahin padate aur madar ke sir men to kabhi dard bhi nahin hua.’

‘to vah aur ap donon bhagyavanh hain.’

‘samasya yah hai ki ve donon hi bade nem se rahate hain.’

‘bade harsh ki bat hai. ap vastav men bhagyashali hain.’

‘lekin vah mere khanasama ke hath ka bhojan to nahin kar sakate!’

‘to ek-do din tumhari stri hi bhojan paka legi to kya chhoti ho jaegi? sas-sasur ki seva karana hi stri ka param dharm hai.’

‘main ise nahin svikar karata, mahoday. bura n maniega. ap sau baras ki purani bat kah rahe hain. sas-sasur ko aisi jara-jara ki baton ke lie putr aur putravadhoo ko snkat men n dalana chahie. samay bahut age badh gaya hai. ab aise mata-pita ke lie sthan nahin raha.’

‘yah ap bahut thik kah rahe hain; lekin jab mata-pita do-hi char din ke lie aye hain, to stri ko thoda-sa kasht bhi to sah lena chahie.’ is par sajjan ne kuchh bhaunve sikodaqar kaha-lekin bhojan pakane ka unhen abhyas nahin hai, shriman! jab kabhi khanasama baith rahata hai, to ham log hotal men kha lete hain. ek bar ghar men rupaye n the, aur hotal men nagad dam dena padata hai; isalie stri ne socha, kuchh paka len, to sahab, ata aisa ho gaya jaise gadha doodh aur chaval jalakar koyala ho gaya. us par tin din shrimatiji ke sir men dard hota raha. harakar hamen phanka karana pada. to sahab, phir vah vipatti nahin mol lena chahata. n jane kyon hotal men khana khate in logon ki nani marati hai. main ise unaki kori zid samajhata hoon. man-bap hain, kya kahoon. kya ap itani kripa n karenge ki ek-do din jab tak vah log yahan rahen, unaka bhojan paka den. apako kasht to hoga, lekin ap brahman hain aur brahman ko paropakar ke lie apane kasht ki paravah nahin hoti.

mera khoon khaul utha. ji men aya, utha ke patak doon, lekin mainne sabr kiya. kya qadar ki hai apane brahman ki! aur maza yah hai ki is moorkh ko mujhase aisi bat kahate snkoch bhi n hua. mujhe chup dekhakar usane kaha-kya bura man gaye?

mainne kaha-nahin, bura kya manoonga, lekin apane is kam ke lie kisi pani-pande ko pakada hota, mujhe ap shayad nahin janate?

usane kaha-main apako khoob janata hoon, ap kashi ke shastri hain. jab main hostal men tha, to ek kashi ke shastri mere sahapathi the. vah barabar apana bhojan ap pakaya karate the, aur jab kabhi hamare mes ka rasoiyadar bimar pad jata ya bhag jata to vah mera bhojan paka dete the aur agrah karake khilate the. isilie mainne apase yah prarthana ki.

mere pas isaka kya javab tha. purakhon ne jo kuchh kiya hai, usaka tavan to dena hi padega.

mainne kaha-apaki ichchha hai to main chalakar bhojan bana doonga. lekin ek shart hai, agar ap use svikar karen.

‘kahie, kahie, ap jo kuchh kahenge vah mujhe svikar hai. apane aj meri laj rakh li.’

‘main rasoee men baithakar batata jaoonga, kam shrimatiji ko karana padega.’

‘lekin unake sir men dard hua tab?’

‘usaki mere pas dava hai. sir men chakkar a jae, ankhon ke samane andhera chha jae, main bat-ki-bat men achchha kar sakata hoon.’

‘aur jo unhen garmi lage?’

‘ap khade pnkha jhalate rahiega.’

‘aur unhonne krodh men akar apako kuchh kah diya?’

‘to mujhe bhi krodh a jaega aur krodh men main lat sahab ko bhi kuchh nahin samajhata. han, itana kah sakata hoon ki isake bad unhen phir krodh n aega.’

‘aur jo unhonne bahas shuroo kar di? unaki dalilon ka ap javab de sakate hain?’

‘vah! aur mainne umr bhar kiya kya hai? pahale to dalil ka javab dalil se deta hoon. jab isase kam nahin chalata to hath-panv se bhi kam leta hoon. kitane hi shastrarthon men sammilit hua hoon aur kabhi parast hokar nahin aya. bade-bade mahamahopadhyayon ko gud-haldi pilakar chhod diya.

sajjan ne ek kshan tak vichar kiya aur phir ane ka vada karake chale gaye. tab se ab tak soorat nahin dikhaee.

tika tippani aur sndarbh

bahari kadiyan

snbndhit lekh

varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

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