शोक का पुरस्कार- प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

aj tin din guzar gaye. sham ka vakt tha. main yunivarsiti haaul se khush-khush chala a raha tha. mere saikadon dost mujhe badhaiyan de rahe the. mare khushi ke meri banchhen khili jati thin. meri zindagi ki sabase pyari arajoo ki main em0e0 pas ho jaoon, poori ho gayi thi aur aisi khoobi se jisaki mujhe tanik bhi asha n thi. mera nambar avval tha. vais chansalar sahab ne khud mujhase hath milaya tha aur muskarakar kaha tha ki bhagavan tumhen aur bhi bade kamon ki shakti de. meri khushi ki koee sima n thi. main naujavan tha, sundar tha, svasth tha, rupaye-paise ki n mujhe ichchha thi aur n kuchh kami, man-bap bahut kuchh chhod gaye the. duniya men sachchi khushi pane ke lie jin chizon ki zaroorat hai, vah sab mujhe prapt thin. aur sabase badhaqar pahaloo men ek hausalamand dil tha jo khyati prapt karane ke lie adhir ho raha tha.

ghar aya, doston ne yahan bhi pichha n chhoda, davat ki thahari. doston ki khatiratavajon men barah baj gaye, leta to barabas khayal mis lilavati ki taraf ja pahuncha jo mere pados men rahati thin aur jisane mere sath bi0e0 ka diploma hasil kiya tha. bhagyashali hoga vah vyakti jo mis lila ko byahega, kaisi sundar hai! kitana mitha gala hai! kaisa hnsamukh svabhav! main kabhi-kabhi usake yahan prophesar sahab se darshanashastr men sahayata lene ke lie jaya karata tha. vah din shubh hota tha jab prophesar sahab ghar par n milate the. mis lila mere sath bade tapak se pesh atin aur mujhe aisa maloom hota tha ki main eesa masih ki sharan men a jaoon to use mujhe apana pati bana lene men apatti n hogi. vah sheli, bayaran aur kits ki premi thi aur meri ruchi bhi bilkul usi ke saman thi. ham jab akele hote to aksar prem aur prem ke darshan par baten karane lagate aur usake munh se bhavon men doobi huee baten sun-sunakar mere dil men gudagudi paida hone lagati thi. magar afasos, main apana malik n tha. meri shadi ek oonche gharane men kar di gayi thi aur agarache mainne ab tak apani bibi ki soorat bhi n dekhi thi magar mujhe poora-poora vishvas tha ki mujhe usaki sngat men vah anand nahin mil sakata jo mis lila ki sngat men sambhav hai. shadi hue do sal ho chuke the magar usane mere pas ek khat bhi n likha tha. mainne do tin khat likhe bhi, magar kisi ka javab n mila. isase mujhe shak ho gaya tha ki usaki talim bhi yon hi-si hai.

ah! kya main isi ladaqi ke sath zindagi basar karane par majaboor hoonga? .... is saval ne mere un tamam havaee qilon ko dha diya jo mainne abhi-abhi banaye the. kya main mis lila se hamesha ke lie hath dho loon? namumakin hai. main kumudini ko chhod doonga, main apane gharavalon se nata tod loonga, main badanam hoonga, pareshan hooanga, magar mis lila ko zaroor apana banaoonga.

inhin khayalon ke asar men mainne apani dayari likhi aur use mej par khula chhodaqar bistar par leta raha aur sochate-sochate so gaya.

sabere uthakar dekhata hoon to baboo nirnzanadas mere samane kursi par baithe hain. unake hath men dayari thi jise vah dhyanapoorvak padh rahe the. unhen dekhate hi main bade chav se lipat gaya. afasos, ab us devopam svabhav vale naujavan ki soorat dekhani n nasib hogi. achanak maut ne use hamesha ke lie hamase alag kar diya. kumudini ke sage bhaee the, bahut svasth, sundar aur hnsamukh, umr mujhase do hi char sal zyada thi, oonche pad par niyukt the, kuchh dinon se isi shahar men tabadil hokar a gaye the. meri aur unaki gadhi dosti ho gayi thi. mainne poochha-kya tumane meri dayari padh li?

nirnjan-han!

main-magar kumudini se kuchh n kahana.

nirnjan-bahut achchha, n kahoonga.

main-is vaqt kisi soch men ho. mera diploma dekha?

nirnjan-ghar se khat aya hai, pita ji bimar hain, do-tin din men jane vala hoon.

main-shauq se jaie, eeshvar unhen jald svasth kare.

nirnjan-tum bhi chaloge? n maloom kaisa pade, kaisa n pade.

main-mujhe to is vaqt maf kar do.

nirnjanadas yah kahakar chale gaye. mainne hajamat banayi, kapade badale aur mis lilavati se milane ka chav man men lekar chala. vahan jakar dekha to tala pada hua hai. maloom hua ki mis sahiba ki tabiyat do-tin din se kharab thi. abahava badalane ke lie nainital chali gayin. afasos, main hath malakar rah gaya. kya lila mujhase naraz thi? usane mujhe kyon khabar nahin di. lila, kya too bevapha hai, tujhase bevafaee ki ummid n thi. fauran pakka irada kar liya ki aj ki dak se nainital chal doon. magar ghar aya to lila ka khat mila. kanpate hue hanthon se khola, likha tha-main bimar hoon, meri jine ki koee ummid nahin hai, daktar kahate hain ki pleg hai. jab tak tum aoge, shayad mera qissa tamam ho jaega. akhiri vaqt tumase n milane ka sakht sadama hai. meri yad dil men qayam rakhana. mujhe sakht afasos hai ki tumase milakar nahin ayi. mera qasoor maph karana aur apani abhagini lila ko bhula mat dena. khat mere hath se chhootakar gir pada. duniya ankhon men andheri ho gayi, munh se ek thandi ah nikali. bina ek kshan gnvaye mainne bistar bandha aur nainital chalane ke lie taiyar ho gaya. ghar se nikala hi tha ki prophesar bos se mulaqat ho gayi. kalej se chale a rahe the, chehare par shok likha hua tha. mujhe dekhate hi unhonne jeb se ek tar nikalakar mere samane phenk diya. mera kaleja dhakh se ho gaya. ankhon men andhera chha gaya, tar kaun uthata hai. aur hay marakar baith gaya. lila, too itani jaldi mujhase juda ho gayi!

2

main rota hua ghar aya aur charapaee par munh dhanpakar khoob roya. nainital jane ka irada khatm ho gaya. das-barah din tak main unmad ki-si dasha men idhar-udhar ghoomata raha. doston ki salah huee ki kuchh roz ke lie kahin ghoomane chale jao. mere dil men bhi yah bat jam gayi. nikal khada hua aur do mahine tak vindhyachal, parasanath vagairah pahadiy़on men avara phirata raha. jyon-tyon karake nee-nee jagahon aur drishyon ki sair se tabiyat ko zara taskin huee. main aboo men tha jab mere nam tar pahuncha ki main kalej ki asistent prophesari ke lie chuna gaya hoon. ji to n chahata tha ki phir is shahar men aoon, magar prinsipal ke khat ne majaboor kar diya. lachar, lauta aur apane kam men lag gaya. zindadili nam ko n baqi rahi thi. doston ki sngat se bhagata aur hnsi mazak se chidh maloom hoti.

ek roz sham ke vakt main apane andhere kamare men leta hua kalpana-lok ki sair kar raha tha ki samane vale makan se gane ki avaz ayi. ah, kya avaz thi, tir ki tarah dil men chubhi jati thi, svar kitana karun tha! is vakt mujhe andaza hua ki gane men kya asar hota hai. tamam rongate khade ho gaye, kaleja masosane laga aur dil par ek ajib vedana-si chha gayi. ankhon se ansoo bahane lage. hay, yah lila ka pyara git tha-

piya milan hai kathin bavari.

mujhase zabt n ho saka, main ek unmad ki-si dasha men utha aur jakar samane vale makan ka daravaza khatakhataya. mujhe us vaqt yah chetana n rahi ki ek ajanabi adami ke makan par akar khade ho jana aur usake ekant men vighn dalana parale darje ki asabhyata hai.

3

ek budhiy़a ne daravaza khol diya aur mujhe khade dekhakar lapaki huee andar gayi. main bhi usake sath chala gaya. dehaliz tay karate hi ek bade kamare men pahuncha. us par ek saphed farsh bichha hua tha. gavatakie bhi rakhe the. divaron par khoobasoorat tasviren latak rahi thin aur ek solah-satrah sal ka sundar naujavan jisaki abhi masen bhig rahi thin masanad ke qarib baitha hua haramoniyam par ga raha tha. main qasam kha sakata hoon ki aisa sundar svasth naujavan meri nazar se kabhi nahin guzara chal-dhal se sikh maloom hota tha. mujhe dekhate hi chaunk pada aur haramoniyam chhodaqar khada ho gaya. sharm se sir jhuka liya aur kuchh ghabaraya hua-sa najar ane laga. mainne kaha-maph kijiega, mainne apako badi takalif di. ap is phan ke ustad maloom hote hain. khasakar jo chiz abhi ap ga rahe the, vah mujhe pasand hai.

naujavan ne apani badi-badi ankhon se meri taraf dekha aur sar nicha kar liya aur hothon hi men kuchh apane nausikhiyepan ki bat kahi. mainne phir poochha-ap yahan kab se hain?

naujavan-tin mahine ke qarib hota hai.

main-apaka shubh nam.

naujavan-mujhe mehar sinh kahate hain.

main baith gaya aur bahut gustakhana betakallufi se mehar sinh ka hath pakadaqar bitha diya aur phir mafi mangi. us vakt ki batachit se maloom hua ki vah pnjab ka rahane vala hai aur yahan padhane ke lie aya hua hai. shayad daktaron ne salah di thi ki pnjab ki abahava usake lie thik nahin hai. main dil men to jhenpa ki ek skool ke ladake ke sath baithakar aisi betakallufi se baten kar raha hoon, magar sngit ke prem ne is khayal ko rahane n diya. rasmi parichay ke bad mainne phir prarthana ki ki vahi chiz chhediy़e. mehar sinh ne ankhen niche karake javab diya ki main abhi bilakul nausikhiya hoon.

main-yah to ap apani jaban se kahiye.

mehar sinh-(jhenpakar) ap kuchh faramayen, haramoniyam hazir hai.

main-main is fan men bilakul kora hoon varna apaki faramaish zaroor poori karata.

isake bad mainne bahut-bahut agrah kiya magar mehar sinh jhenpata hi raha. mujhe svabhavat: shishtachar se ghrina hai. halanki is vakt mujhe rookha hone ka koee haq n tha magar jab mainne dekha ki yah kisi tarah n manega to zara rukhaee se bola-khair jane dijie. mujhe afasos hai ki mainne apaka bahut vakt barbad kiya. maf kijie. yah kahakar uth khada hua. meri roni soorat dekhakar shayad mehar sinh ko us vakt taras a gaya, usane jhenpate hue mera hath pakad liya aur bola-ap to naraz hue jate hain.

main-mujhe apase naraz hone ka koee haq hasil nahin.

mehar sinh-achchha baith jaie, main apaki faramaish poori karoonga. magar main abhi bilkul anadi hoon.

main baith gaya aur mehar sinh ne haramoniyam par vahi git alapana shuroo kiya-

piya milan hai kathin bavari.

kaisi surili tan thi, kaisi mithi avaj, kaisa bechain karane vala bhav! usake gale men vah ras tha jisaka bayan nahin ho sakata. mainne dekha ki gate-gate khud usaki ankhon men ansoo bhar aye. mujh par is vaqt ek mohak sapane ki-si dasha chhayi huee thi. ek bahut mitha, najuk, dardanak asar, dil par ho raha tha jise bayan nahin kiya ja sakata. ek hare-bhare maidan ka naksha ankhon ke samane khinch gaya aur lila, pyari lila, us maidan par baithi huee meri taraf hasaratanak ankhon se tak rahi thi. mainne ek lambi ah bhari aur bina kuchh kahe uth khada hua. is vakt mehar sinh ne meri taraf taka, usaki ankhon men moti ke qatare dabadabaye hue the aur bola-kabhi-kabhi tasharif laya kijiega.

main sirph itana javab diya-main apaka bahut kritgy hoon.

4

dhire-dhire meri yah halat ho gayi ki jab tak mehar sinh ke yahan jakar do-char gane n sun loon ji ko chain n ata. sham huee aur main ja pahuncha. kuchh der tak ganon ki bahar lootata aur tab use padhata. aise zahin aur samajhadar ladake ko padhane men mujhe khas maza ata tha. maloom hota tha ki meri ek-ek bat usake dil par naksh ho rahi hai. jab tak main padhata vah poore ji-jan se kan lagaye baitha rahata jab use dekhata, padhane-likhane men dooba hua pata. sal bhar men apane bhagavan ke diye hue jehan ki badaulat usane angreji men achchhi yogyata prapt kar li. mamooli chi_iyan likhane laga, aur doosara sal guzarate-guzarate vah apane skool ke kuchh chhatron se bazi le gaya. jitane mudarris the, sab usaki akl par hairat karate aur sidha nek-chalan aisa ki kabhi jhooth-mooth bhi kisi ne usaki shikayat nahin ki. vah apane sare skool ki ummid aur raunaq tha, lekin bavajood sikh hone ke use khelakood men ruchi n thi. mainne use kabhi kriket men nahin dekha. sham hote hi sidhe ghar chala ata aur likhane-padhane men lag jata.

main dhire-dhire usase itana hil-mil gaya ki bajay shishy ke usako apana dost samajhane laga. umr ke lihaz se usaki samajh ashcharyajanak thi. dekhane men 16-17 sal se zyada n maloom hota magar jab kabhi main ravani men akar durbodh kavi-kalpanaon aur komal bhavon ki usake samane vyakhya karata to mujhe usaki bhngima se aisa maloom hota ki ek-ek bariki ko samajh raha hai. ek din mainne usase poochha-mehar sinh, tumhari shadi ho gayi?

mehar sinh ne sharamakar javab diya-abhi nahin.

main-tumhen kaisi aurat pasand hai?

mehar sinh-main shadi karoonga hi nahin.

main-kyon?

mehar sinh-mujh jaise jahil gnvar ke sath shadi karana koee aurat pasand n karegi.

main-bahut kam aise naujavan honge to tumase zyada layaq hon ya tumase zyada samajh rakhate hon.

mehar sinh ne meri taraf achambhe se dekhakar kaha-ap dillagi karate hain.

main-dillagi nahin, main sach kahata hoon. mujhe khud ashchary hota hai ki itane kam dinon men tumane itani yogyata kyonkar paida kar li. abhi tumhen angreji shuroo kie tin baras se zyada nahin hue.

mehar sinh-kya main kisi padhi-likhi ledi ko khush rakh sakoonga.

main-(josh se) beshak!

5

garmi ka mausam tha. main hava khane shimale gaya hua tha. mehar sinh bhi mere sath tha. vahan main bimar pada. chechak nikal ayi. tamam jism men phaphole pad gaye. pith ke bal charapaee par pada rahata. us vaqt mehar sinh ne mere sath jo-jo ehasan kie vah mujhe hamesha yad rahenge. daktaron ki sakht manahi thi ki vah mere kamare men n ave. magar mehar sinh athon pahar mere hi pas baitha rahata. mujhe khilata-pilata, uthata-bithata. rat-rat bhar charapaee ke qarib baithakar jagate rahana mehar sinh hi ka kam tha. saga bhaee bhi isase zyada seva nahin kar sakata tha. ek mahina guzar gaya. meri halat roz-b-roz bigadati jati thi. ek roz mainne daktar ko mehar sinh se kahate suna ki ‘inaki halat najuk hai. mujhe yakin ho gaya ki ab n bachoonga, magar mehar sinh kuchh aisi dridhata se meri seva sushrusha men laga hua tha jaise vah mujhe zabardasti maut ke munh se bacha lega. ek roz sham ke vaqt main kamare men leta hua tha ki kisi ke sisaki lene ki avaz ayi. vahan mehar sinh ko chhodaqar aur koee n tha. mainne poochha-mehar sinh, mehar sinh, tum rote ho.

mehar sinh ne zabt karake kaha-nahin, rooon kyon, aur meri taraf badi dard-bhari ankhon se dekha.

main-tumhare sisakane ki avaz ayi.

mehar sinh-vah kuchh bat n thi. ghar ki yad a gayi thi.

main-sach bolo.

mehar sinh ki ankhen phir dabadaba ayin. usane mej par se aeena uthakar mere samane rakh diya. he narayan! main khud ko pahachan n saka. chehara itana zyada badal gaya tha. rngat bajay surkh ke siyah ho rahi thi aur chechak ke badanuma dagon ne soorat bigad di thi. apani yah buri halat dekhakar mujhase bhi jabt n ho saka aur ankhen dabadaba gayin. vah saundary jis par mujhe itana garv tha bilkul vida ho gaya tha.

6

main shimale se vapas ane ki taiyari kar raha tha. mehar sinh usi roj mujhase vida hokar apane ghar chala gaya tha. meri tabiyat bahut uchat ho rahi thi. asabab sab bndh chuka tha ki ek gadi mere daravaze par akar ruki aur usamen se kaun utara mis lila! meri ankhon ko vishvas n ho raha tha, chakit hokar takane laga. mis lilavati ne age badhaqar mujhe salam kiya aur hath milane ko badhaya. mainne bhi baukhalahat men hath to badha diya magar abhi tak yah yaqin nahin hua tha ki main sapana dekh raha hoon ya haqiqat hai. lila ke galon par vah lali n thi n vah chulabulapan balki vah bahut gambhir aur pili-pili si ho rahi thi. akhir meri hairat kam n hote dekhakar usane muskarane ki koshish karate hue kaha-tum kaise jentilamain ho ki ek sharif ledi ko baithane ke lie kursi bhi nahin dete.

mainne andar se kursi lakar usake lie rakh di. magar abhi tak yahi samajh raha tha ki sapana dekh raha hoon.

lilavati ne kaha-shayad tum mujhe bhool gaye.

main-bhool to umr bhar nahin sakata magar ankhon ko etabar nahin ata.

lila-tum to bilakul pahachane nahin jate.

main-tum bhi to vah nahin rahi. magar akhir yah bhed kya hai, kya tum svarg se laut ayi?

lila-main to nainital men apane mama ke yahan thi.

main-aur vah chiththi mujhe kisane likhi thi aur tar kisane diya tha?

lila-mainne hi.

main-kyon-tumane yah mujhe dhokha kyon diya? shayad tum andaja nahin kar sakati ki mainne tumhare shok men kitani pida sahi hai.

mujhe us vaqt ek anokha gussa aya-yah phir mere samane kyon a gayi! mar gayi to mari hi rahati!

lila-isamen ek gur tha, magar yah bat to phir hoti rahengi. ao is vaqt tumhen apani ek ledi phrend se introdyoos karaoon, vah tumase milane ki bahut ichchhuk hain.

mainne acharaj se poochha-mujhase milane ki! magar lilavati ne isaka kuchh javab n diya aur mera hath pakadaqar gadi ke samane le gayi. usamen ek yuvati hindustani kapade pahane baithi huee thi. mujhe dekhate hi uth khadi huee aur hath badha diya. mainne lila ki taraf saval karati huee ankhon se dekha.

lila-kya tumane nahin pahachana?

main-mujhe afasos hai ki mainne apako pahale kabhi nahin dekha aur agar dekha bhi ho to ghoonghat ki ad se kyonkar pahachan sakata hoon.

lila-yah tumhari bivi kumudini hai!

mainne ashchary ke svar men kaha-kumudini, yahan?

lila-kumudini munh khol do aur apane pyare pati ka svagat karo.

kumudini ne kanpate hue hathon se zara-sa ghoonghat uthaya. lila ne sara munh khol diya aur aisa maloom hua ki jaise badal se chand nikal aya. mujhe khayal aya, mainne yah chehara kahin dekha hai. kahan? aha, usaki nak par bhi to vahi til hai, unguli men vahi angoothi bhi hai.

lila-kya sochate ho, ab pahachana?

main-meri kuchh akl kam nahin karati. hoobahoo yahi huliya mere ek pyare dost mehar sinh ka hai.

lila-(muskarakar) tum to hamesha nigah ke tez banate the, itana bhi nahin pahachan sakate!

main khushi se phool utha-kumudini mehar sinh ke bhesh men! mainne usi vaqt use gale se laga liya aur khoob dil kholakar pyar kiya. in kuchh kshanon men mujhe jo khushi hasil huee usake muqabile zindagi bhar ki khushiyan, hech hain. ham donon alingan-pash men bndhe hue the. kumudini, pyari kumudini ke munh se avaz n nikalati thi. han, ankhon se ansoo jari the.

mis lila bahar khadi komal ankhon se yah drishy dekh rahi thi. mainne usake hathon ko choomakar kaha-pyari lila, tum sachchi devi ho, jab tak jienge tumhare kritgy rahenge.

lila ke chehare par ek halki-si muskarahat dikhayi di. boli-ab to shayad tumhen mere shok ka kafi puraskar mil gaya.

tika tippani aur sndarbh


snbndhit lekh

varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

a   a    i    ee    u    oo    e    ai    o   au    an    k   kh    g    gh    n    ch    chh    j    jh    n    t    th    d   dh    n    t    th    d    dh    n    p    ph    b    bh    m    y    r    l    v    sh    sh    s    h    ksh    tr    gy    ri    ri    aau    shr   aah