प्रेरणा -प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

meri kaksha men sooryaprakash se zyada oodhami koee ladaka n tha, balki yon kaho ki adhyapan-kal ke das varshon men mujhe aisi visham prakriti ke shishy se sabaka n pada tha. kapat-krida men usaki jan basati thi. adhyapakon ko banane aur chidhane, udyogi balakon ko chhedane aur rulane men hi use anand ata tha. aise-aise shadayntr rachata, aise-aise phnde dalata, aise-aise bndhan bandhata ki dekhakar ashchary hota tha. girohabndi men abhyast tha. khudaee faujadaron ki ek fauj bana li thi aur usake atnk se shala par shasan karata tha. mukhy adhishthata ki agya tal jay, magar kya majal ki koee usake hukm ki avgya kar sake. skool ke chaparasi aur ardali usase thar-thar kanpate the. inspektar ka muaina hone vala tha, mukhy adhishthata ne hukm diya ki ladake nirdisht samay se adha ghnta pahale a jayn. matalab yah tha ki ladakon ko muaine ke bare men kuchh zaroori baten bata di jayn, magar das baj gaye, inspektar sahab akar baith gaye, aur madarase men ek ladaka bhi nahin. gyarah baje sab chhatr is tarah nikal pade, jaise koee pinjara khol diya gaya ho. inspektar sahab ne kaiphiyat men likha disiplin bahut kharab hai. prinsipal sahab ki kirakiri huee, adhyapak badanam hue aur yah sari shararat sooryaprakash ki thi, magar bahut poochh-tachh karane par bhi kisi ne sooryaprakash ka nam tak n liya. mujhe apani snchalan-vidhi par garv tha. trening kalej men is vishay men mainne khyati prapt ki thi, magar yahan mera sara snchalan-kaushal jaise morcha kha gaya tha. kuchh akl hi kam n karati ki shaitan ko kaise sanmarg par layen.

kee bar adhyapakon ki baithak huee, par yah girah n khuli. nee shiksha-vidhi ke anusar main dndaniti ka pakshapati n tha, magar yahan ham is niti se keval isalie virakt the ki kahin upachar se bhi rog asadhay n ho jay. sooryaprakash ko skool se nikal dene ka prastav bhi kiya gaya, par ise apani ayogyata ka praman samajhakar ham is niti ka vyavahar karane ka sahas n kar sake. bis-baees anubhavi aur shikshashastr ke achary ek barah-terah sal ke uddnd balak ka sudhar n kar saken, yah vichar bahut hi nirashajanak tha. yon to sara skool usase trahi-trahi karata tha, magar sabase zyada snkat men main tha, kyonki vah meri kaksha ka chhatr tha aur usaki shararaton ka kuphal mujhe bhogana padata tha. main skool ata, to haradam yahi khataka laga rahata tha ki dekhen aj kya vipatti ati hai. ek din mainne apani mej ki daraj kholi, to usamen se ek bada-sa mendhak nikal pada. main chaunkakar pichhe hata to klas men ek shor mach gaya. usaki or sarosh netron se dekhakar rah gaya. sara ghnta upadesh men bit gaya aur vah pattha sir jhukaye niche muskara raha tha. mujhe ashchary hota tha ki yah niche ki kakshaon men kaise pas hua tha.

ek din mainne gusse se kaha, ‘tum is kaksha se umr bhar nahin pas ho sakate.‘

sooryaprakash ne avichalit bhav se kaha, ‘ap mere pas hone ki chinta n karen. main hamesha pas hua hoon aur abaki bhi hoonga.‘

'asambhav !'

'asambhav sambhav ho jayaga !'

main ashchary se usaka munh dekhane laga. jahin se jahin ladaka bhi apani saphalata ka dava itane nirvivad roop se n kar sakata tha. mainne socha, vah prashn-patr uda leta hoga. mainne pratigya ki, abaki isaki ek chal bhi n chalane doonga. dekhoon, kitane din is kaksha men pada rahata hai. ap ghabadakar nikal jayaga.

varshik pariksha ke avasar par mainne asadharan dekhabhal se kam liya; magar jab sooryaprakash ka uttar-patr dekha, to mere vismay ki sima n rahi. mere do parche the, donon hi men usake nambar kaksha men sabase adhik the. mujhe khoob maloom tha ki vah mere kisi parche ka koee prashn bhi hal nahin kar sakata. main ise siddh kar sakata tha; magar usake uttar-patron ko kya karata ! lipi men itana bhed n tha jo koee sndeh utpann kar sakata. mainne prinsipal se kaha,to vah bhi chakara gaye; magar unhen bhi jan-boojhakar makkhi nigalani padi. main kadachith svabhav hi se nirashavadi hoon. any adhyapakon ko main sooryaprakash ke vishay men jara bhi chintit n pata tha. mano aise ladakon ka skool men ana koee nee bat nahin, magar mere lie vah ek vikat rahasy tha. agar yahi dhng rahe, to ek din ya to jel men hoga, ya pagalakhane men.

usi sal mera tabadala ho gaya. yadyapi yahan ka jalavayu mere anukool tha, prinsipal aur any adhyapakon se maitri ho gee thi, magar main apane tabadale se khush hua; kyonki sooryaprakash mere marg ka kanta n rahega. ladakon ne mujhe bidaee ki davat di aur sab-ke-sab steshan tak pahunchane aye. us vakt sabhi ladake ankhon men ansoo bhare hue the. main bhi apane ansuon ko n rok saka. sahasa meri nigah sooryaprakash par padi, jo sabase pichhe lajjit khada tha. mujhe aisa maloom hua ki usaki ankhen bhi bhigi thin. mera ji bar-barachahata tha ki chalate-chalate usase do-char baten kar loon. shayad vah bhi mujhase kuchh kahana chahata tha, magar n mainne pahale baten kin, n usane; halanki mujhe bahut dinon tak isaka khed raha. usaki jhijhak to kshama ke yogy thi; par mera avarodh akshamy tha. snbhav tha, us karuna aur glani ki dasha men meri do-char nishkapat baten usake dil par asar kar jatin; magar inhin khoye

hue avasaron ka nam to jivan hai. gadi mndagati se chali. ladake kee qadam tak usake sath daude. main khidaki ke bahar sir nikale khada tha. kuchh der mujhe unake hilate hue roomal najar aye. phir ve rekhaen akash men vilin ho geen : magar ek alpakay moorti ab bhi pletapharm par khadi thi. mainne anuman kiya, vah sooryaprakash hai. us samay mera hriday kisi vikal kaidi ki bhanti ghrina, maliny aur udasinata ke bndhanon ko tod-todakar usake gale milane ke lie tadap utha.

naye sthan ki nee chintaon ne bahut jald mujhe apani or akarshit kar liya. pichhale dinon ki yad ek hasarat banakar rah gee. n kisi ka koee khat aya, n mainne koee khat likha. shayad duniya ka yahi dastoor hai. varsha ke bad varsha ki hariyali kitane dinon rahati hai. snyog se mujhe ingalaind men vidyabhyas karane ka avasar mil gaya. vahan tin sal lag gaye. vahan se lauta to ek kalej ka prinsipal bana diya gaya. yah sidhdi mere lie bilakul ashatit thi. meri bhavana svapn men bhi itani door n udi thi; kintu padalipsa ab kisi aur bhi oonchi dali par ashray lena chahati thi.

shikshamntri se rabt-jabt paida kiya. mntri mahoday mujh par kripa rakhate the; magar vastav men shiksha ke maulik sidhdanton ka unhen gyan n tha. mujhe pakar unhonne sara bhar mere oopar dal diya. ghode par vah savar the, lagam mere hath men thi. phal yah hua ki unake rajanitik vipakshiyon se mera virodh ho gaya. mujh par ja-beja akraman hone lage. main siddhant roop se anivary shiksha ka virodhi hoon. mera vichar hai ki har ek manushy ki un vishayon men zyada svadhinata honi chahie, jinaka usase nij ka snbndh hai. mera vichar hai ki yoorop men anivary shiksha ki zaroorat hai, bharat men nahin. bhautikata pashchimi sabhyata ka mool tattv hai. vahan kisi kam ki prerana, arthik labh ke adhar par hoti hai. zindagi ki zaroorat zyada hai; isalie jivan-sngram bhi adhik bhishan hai. mata-pita bhog ke das hokar bachchon ko jald-se-jald kuchh kamane par majaboor karate hain. isaki jagah ki vah mad ka tyag karake ek shiling roj ki bachat kar len, ve apane kamasin bachche ko ek shiling ki mazadoori karane ke lie dabayenge. bharatiy jivan men satvik saralata hai. ham us vakt tak apane bachchon se mazadoori nahin karate, jab tak ki paristhiti hamen vivash n kar de. daridr se daridr hindustani mazadoor bhi shiksha ke upakaron ka kayal hai. usake man men yah abhilasha hoti hai ki mera bachcha char akshar padh jay. isalie nahin ki use koee adhikar milega; balki keval isalie ki vidya manavi shil ka ek shrringar hai. agar yah janakar bhi vah apane bachche ko madarase nahin bhejata, to samajh lena chahie ki vah majaboor hai. aisi dasha men us par qanoon ka prahar karana meri drishti men nyay-sngat nahin hai. isake sivay mere vichar men abhi hamare desh men yogy shikshakon ka abhav hai. ardhd-shikshit aur alpavetan panevale adhyapakon se ap yah asha nahin rakh sakate ki vah koee ooncha adarsh apane samane rakh saken. adhik-se-adhik itana hi hoga ki char-panch varsh men balak ko akshar-gyan ho jayaga. main ise parvat khodakar chuhiya nikalane ke tuly samajhata hoon. vayas prapt ho jane par yah masala ek mahine men asani se tay kiya ja sakata hai.

main anubhav se kah sakata hoon ki yuvavastha men ham jitana gyan ek mahine men prapt kar sakate hain, utana balyavastha men tin sal men bhi nahin kar sakate, phir khamakhvah bachchon ko madarase men kaid karane se kya labh ? madarase ke bahar rahakar use svachchh vayu to milati, prakritik anubhav to hote. pathashala men band karake to ap usake manasik aur sharirik donon vidhanon ki jad kat dete hain. isalie jab prantiy vyavasthapak-sabha men anivary shiksha ka prastav pesh hua, to meri prerana se ministar sahab ne usaka virodh kiya. natija yah hua ki prastav asvikrit ho gaya. phir kya tha. ministar sahab ki aur meri vah le-de shuroo huee ki kuchh n poochhie. vyaktagit akshep kie jane lage. main garib ki bivi tha, mujhe hi sabaki bhabhi banana pada. mujhe deshadrohi, unnati ka shatru aur naukarashahi ka gulam kaha, gaya. mere kalej men jara-si bhi koee bat hoti to kaunsil men mujh par varsha hone lagati. mainne ek chaparasi ko prithakh kiya. sari kaunsil pnje jhadakar mere pichhe pad gee. akhir ministar sahab ko majaboor hokar us chaparasi ko bahal karana pada. yah apaman mere lie asahy tha. shayad koee bhi ise sahan n kar sakata. ministar sahab se mujhe shikayat nahin. vah majaboor the. han, is vatavaran men kam karana mere lie dussadhay ho gaya. mujhe apane kalej ke antarik sngathan ka bhi adhikar nahin. amuk kyon nahin pariksha men bheja gaya, amuk ke badale amuk ko kyon nahin chhatravritti di gee, amuk adhyapak ko amuk kaksha kyon nahin di jati, is tarah ke sarahin akshepon ne meri nak men dam kar diya tha. is nee chot ne kamar tod di. mainne istipha de diya.

mujhe ministar sahab se itani asha avashy thi ki vah kam-se-kam is vishay men nyay-parayanata se kam lenge; magar unhonne nyay ki jagah niti ko many samajha aur mujhe kee sal ki bhakt ika yah phal mila ki main padachyut kar diya gaya. snsar ka aisa katu anubhav mujhe ab tak n hua tha. grah bhi kuchh bure a gaye the, unhin dinon patni ka dehant ho gaya. antim darshan bhi n kar saka. sandhya-samay nadi-tat par sair karane gaya tha. vah kuchh asvasth thin. lauta, to unaki lash mili. kadachith hriday ki gati band ho gee thi. is aghat ne kamar tod di. mata ke prasad aur ashirvad se bade-bade mahanh purush kritarth ho gaye hain. main jo kuchh hua, patni ke prasad aur ashirvad se hua; vah mere bhagy ki vidhatri thin. kitana alaukik tyag tha, kitana vishal dhairy. unake madhury men tikshnata ka nam bhi n tha. mujhe yad nahin ata ki mainne kabhi unaki bhrikuti snkuchit dekhi ho, vah nirash hona to janati hi n thin. main kee bar sakht bimar pada hoon. vaidy nirash ho gaye hain, par vah apane dhairy aur shanti se anu-matr bhi vichalit nahin hueen. unhen vishvas tha ki main apane pati ke jivan-kal men maroongi aur vahi hua bhi. main jivan men ab tak unhin ke sahare khada tha ! jab vah avalamb hi n raha, to jivan kahan rahata. khane aur sone ka nam jivan nahin hai. jivan nam hai, sadaiv age badhate rahane ki lagan ka. yah lagan gayab ho gee. main snsar se virakt ho gaya. aur ekantavas men

jivan ke din vyatit karane ka nishchay karake ek chhote-se ganv men ja basa. charon taraph oonche-oonche tile the, ek or gnga bahati thi. mainne nadi ke kinare ek chhota-sa ghar bana liya aur usi men rahane laga. magar kam karana to manavi svabhav hai. bekari men jivan kaise katata. mainne ek chhoti-si pathashala khol li; ek vriksh ki chhanh men ganv ke ladakon ko jama kar kuchh padhaya karata tha. usaki yahan itani khyati huee ki as-pas ke ganv ke chhatr bhi ane lage. ek din main apani kaksha ko padha raha tha ki pathashala ke pas ek motar akar ruki aur usamen se us zile ke dipti kamishnar utar pade. main us samay keval ek kurta aur dhoti pahane hue tha. is vesh men ek hakim se milate hue sharm a rahi thi. dipti kamishnar mere samip aye to mainne jhenpate hue hath badhaya, magar vah mujhase hath milane ke badale mere pairon ki or jhuke aur un par sir rakh diya. main kuchh aisa sitapita gaya ki mere munh se ek shabd bhi n nikala. main angareji achchhi likhata hoon, darshanashastr ka bhi achary hoon, vyakhyan bhi achchhe de leta hoon. magar in gunon men ek bhi shrriddha ke yogy nahin. shrriddha to gyaniyon aur sadhuon hi ke adhikar ki vastu hai. agar main brahman hota, to ek bat thi. halanki ek siviliyan ka kisi brahman ke pairon par sir rakhana achintaniy hai. main abhi isi vismay men pada hua tha ki dipti kamishnar ne sir uthaya aur meri taraph dekhakar kaha, apane shayad mujhe pahachana nahin.

itana sunate hi mere smriti-netr khul gaye, bola, ‘apaka nam sooryaprakash to nahin hai ?’

'ji han, main apaka vahi abhaga shishy hoon.'

'barah-terah varsh ho gaye.'

sooryaprakash ne muskarakar kaha, ‘adhyapak ladakon ko bhool jate hain, par ladake unhen hamesha yad rakhate hain.

mainne usi vinod ke bhav se kaha, ‘tum jaise ladakon ko bhoolana asnbhav hai.‘

sooryaprakash ne vinit svar men kaha, ‘unhin aparadhon ko kshama karane ke lie seva men aya hoon. main sadaiv apaki khabar leta rahata tha. jab ap ingalaind gaye, to mainne apake lie badhaee ka patr likha; par use bhej n saka. jab ap prinsipal hue, main ingalaind jane ko taiyar tha. vahan main patrikaon men apake lekh padhata rahata tha. jab lauta, to maloom hua ki apane istipha de diya aur kahin dehat men chale gaye hain. is zile men aye hue mujhe ek varsh se adhik hua; par isaka jara bhi anuman n tha ki ap yahan ekant-sevan kar rahe hain. is ujad ganv men apaka ji kaise lagata hai ? itani hi avastha men apane vanaprasth le liya ?’

main nahin kah sakata ki sooryaprakash ki unnati dekhakar mujhe kitana ashcharyamay annd hua. agar vah mera putr hota to bhi isase adhik annd n hota. main use apane jhonpade men laya aur apani ramakaha,ni kah sunaee. sooryaprakash ne kaha, ‘to yah kahie ki ap apane hi ek bhaee ke vishvasaghat ke shikar hue. mera anubhav to abhi bahut kam hai; magar itane hi dinon men mujhe maloom ho gaya hai, ki ham log abhi apani zimmedariyon ko poora karana nahin janate. ministar sahab se bhent huee to poochhoonga, ki yahi apaka dharm tha.‘

mainne javab diya-- ‘bhaee, unaka dosh nahin. snbhav hai, is dasha men main bhi vahi karata, jo unhonne kiya. mujhe apani svarthalipsa ki saza mil gee, aur usake lie main unaka rini hoon. banavat nahin, saty kahata hoon ki yahan mujhe jo shanti hai, vah aur kahin n thi. is ekant-jivan men mujhe jivan ke tattvon ka vah gyan hua, jo snpatti aur adhikar ki daud men kisi tarah snbhav n tha. itihas aur bhoogol ke pothe chatakar aur yoorap ke vidyalayon ki sharan jakar bhi main apani mamata ko n mita saka; balki yah rog din-din aur bhi asadhay hota jata tha. ap sidhiyon par panv rakhe bagair chhat ki oonchaee tak nahin pahunch sakate. sampatti ki attalika tak pahunchane men doosaron ki zindagi hi zinon ka kam deti hai. ap kuchalakar hi lakshy tak pahunch sakate hain. vahan saujany aur sahanubhooti ka sthan hi nahin. mujhe aisa maloom hota hai ki us vakt main hinstr jntuon se ghira hua tha aur meri sari shaktiyan apani atmaraksha men hi lagi rahati thin. yahan main apane charon or sntosh aur saralata dekhata hoon. mere pas jo log ate hain, koee svarth lekar nahin ate aur n meri sevaon men prashnsa ya gaurav ki lalasa hai. yah kahakar mainne sooryaprakash ke chehare ki or gaur se dekha. kapat musakan ki jagah glani ka rng tha. shayad yah dikhane aya tha ki ap jisaki taraph se itane nirash ho gaye the, vah ab is pad ko sushobhit kar raha hai. vah mujhase apane sadudyog ka bakhan karana chahata tha. mujhe ab apani bhool maloom huee. ek snpann adami ke samane samridhdi ki ninda uchit nahin. mainne turant bat palatakar kaha, magar tum apana hal to kaho. tumhari yah kaya-palat kaise huee ? tumhari shararaton ko yad karata hoon to ab bhi roen khade ho jate hain. kisi devata ke varadan ke siva aur to kahin yah vibhooti n prapt ho sakati thi.‘

sooryaprakash ne musakarakar kaha, ‘apaka ashirvad tha.‘ mere bahut agrah karane par sooryaprakash ne apana vrittant sunana shuroo kiya apake chale ane ke kee din bad mera mamera bhaee skool men dakhil hua. usaki umr ath-nau sal se zyada n thi. prinsipal sahab use hostal men n lete the aur n mama sahab usake thaharane ka prabandh kar sakate the. unhen is snkat men dekhakar mainne prinsipal sahab se kaha, use mere kamare men thahara dijiye. prinsipal sahab ne ise niyam-viruddh batalaya. is par mainne bigadakar usi din hostal chhod diya aur ek kiraye ka makan lekar mohan ke sath rahane laga. usaki man kee sal pahale mar chuki thi. itana dubala-patala, kamazor aur garib ladaka tha ki pahale hi din se mujhe us par daya ane lagi. kabhi usake sir men dard hota, kabhi jvar ho ata.

aye din koee-n-koee bimari khadi rahati thi. idhar sanjh huee aur jhapakiyan ane lagin. badi mushkil se bhojan karane uthata. din chadhe tak soya karata aur jab tak main god men uthakar bitha n deta, uthane ka nam n leta. rat ko bahudha chaunkakar meri charapaee par a jata. mere gale se lipatakar sota. mujhe us par kabhi krodh n ata. kah nahin sakata, kyon mujhe usase prem ho gaya. main jahan pahale nau baje sokar uthata tha, ab tadake uth baithata aur usake lie doodh garam karata. phir use uthakar hath-munh dhulata aur nashta karata. usake svasthy ke vichar se nity vayu sevan ko le jata. main jo kabhi kitab lekar n baithata tha, use ghnton padhaya karata. mujhe apane dayitv ka itana gyan kaise ho gaya, isaka mujhe ashchary hai. use koee shikayat ho jati to mere pran nakhon men sama jate. daktar ke pas daudata, davaen lata aur mohan ki khushamad karake dava pilata. sadaiv yah chinta lagi rahati thi, ki koee bat usaki ichchha ke viruddh n ho jay. is bechare ka yahan mere siva doosara kaun hai. mere chnchal mitron men se koee use chidhata ya chhedata to meri tyoriyan badal jati thin ! kee ladake to mujhe boodhi daee kahakar chidhate the; par main hnsakar tal deta tha. main usake samane ek anuchit shabd bhi munh se n nikalata. yah shnka hoti thi, ki kahin meri dekha-dekhi yah bhi kharab n ho jay. main usake samane is tarah rahana chahata tha, ki vah mujhe apana adarsh samajhe aur isake lie yah mani huee bat thi ki main apana charitr sudharoon. vah mera nau baje sokar uthana, barah baje tak mataragashti karana, nee-nee shararaton ke mnsoobe bandhana aur adhyapakon ki ankh bachakar skool se ud jana, sab ap-hi-ap jata raha. svasthy aur charitr palan ke sidhdanton ka main shatru tha; par ab mujhase badhakar un niyamon ka rakshak doosara n tha. main eeshvar ka upahas kiya karata, magar ab pakka astik ho gaya tha. vah bade saral bhav se poochhata, paramatma sab jagah rahate hain, to mere pas bhi rahate honge. is prashn ka majak udana mere lie asnbhav tha. main kahata han paramatma tumhare, hamare sabake pas rahate hain aur hamari raksha karate hain. yah ashvasan pakar usaka chehara anand se khil uthata tha, kadachith vah paramatma ki satta ka anubhav karane lagata tha. sal hi bhar men mohan kuchh se kuchh ho gaya. mama sahab dobara aye, to use dekhakar chakit ho gaye. ankhon men ansoo bharakar bole 'beta ! tumane isako zila liya, nahin to main nirash ho chuka tha. isaka punit phal tumhen eeshvar denge. isaki man svarg men baithi huee tumhen ashirvad de rahi hai.' sooryaprakash ki ankhen us vakt bhi sajal ho gee thin.

mainne poochha, ‘mohan bhi tumhen bahut pyar karata hoga ?’

sooryaprakash ke sajal netron men hasarat se bhara hua anand chamak utha,’bola, vah mujhe ek minat ke lie bhi n chhodata tha. mere sath baithata, mere sath khata, mere sath sota. main hi usaka sabakuchh tha. ah ! vah snsar men nahin hai. magar mere lie vah ab bhi usi tarah jita-jagata hai. main jo kuchh hoon, usi ka banaya hua hoon. agar vah daivi vidhan ki bhanti mera path-pradarshak n ban jata, to shayad aj main kisi jel men pada hota. ek din mainne kah diya tha agar tum roj naha n liya karoge to main tumase n boloonga. nahane se vah n jane kyon ji churata tha. meri is dhamaki ka phal yah hua ki vah nity prat:kal nahane laga. kitani hi sardi kyon n ho, kitani hi thndi hava chale; lekin vah snan avashy karata tha. dekhata rahata tha, main kis bat se khush hota hoon. ek din main kee mitron ke sath thiyetar dekhane chala gaya, takid kar gaya tha ki tum khana khakar so rahana.

tin baje rat ko lauta, to dekha ki vah baitha hua hai ! mainne poochha, ‘tum soye nahin ? bola, nind nahin aee.‘

us din se mainne thiyetar jane ka nam n liya. bachchon men pyar ki jo ek bhookh hoti hai doodh, mithaee aur khilaunon se bhi zyada madak zo man ki god ke samane snsar ki nidhi ki bhi paravah nahin karati, mohan ki vah bhookh kabhi sntusht n hoti thi. pahadon se takarane vali saras ki avaz ki tarah vah sadaiv usaki nason men goonja karati thi. jaise bhoomi par phaili huee lata koee sahara pate hi usase chipat jati hai, vahi hal mohan ka tha. vah mujhase aisa chipat gaya tha ki prithakh kiya jata, to usaki komal bel ke tukade-tukade ho jate. vah mere sath tin sal raha aur tab mere jivan men prakash ki ek rekha dalakar andhakar men vilin ho gaya. us jirn kaya men kaise-kaise araman bhare hue the. kadachith eeshvar ne mere jivan men ek avalamb ki srishti karane ke lie use bheja tha. uddeshy poora ho gaya to vah kyon rahata.


'garmiyon ki tatil thi. do tatilon men mohan mere hi sath raha tha. mamaji ke agrah karane par bhi ghar n aya. abaki kalej ke chhatron ne kashmir-yatra karane ka nishchay kiya aur mujhe usaka adhyaksh banaya. kashmir yatra ki abhilasha mujhe chirakal se thi. isi avasar ko ganimat samajha. mohan ko mamaji ke pas bhejakar main kashmir chala gaya. do mahine ke bad lauta, to maloom hua mohan bimar hai. kashmir men mujhe bar-bar mohan ki yad ati thi aur ji chahata tha, laut jaoon. mujhe us par itana prem hai, isaka andaj mujhe kashmir jakar hua; lekin mitron ne pichha n chhoda. usaki bimari ki khabar pate hi main adhir ho utha aur doosare hi din usake pas ja pahuncha. mujhe dekhate hi usake pile aur sookhe hue chehare par anand ki sphoorti jhalak padi. main daudakar usake gale se lipat gaya. usaki ankhon men vah dooradrishti aur chehare par vah alaukik abha thi jo mndarati huee mrityu ki soochana deti hai. mainne avesh se kanpate hue svar men poochha, yah tumhari kya dasha hai mohan ? do hi mahine men yah naubat pahunch gee ? mohan ne saral muskan ke sath kaha, 'ap kashmir ki sair karane gaye the, main akash ki sair karane ja raha hoon.'

'magar yah du:kh ki kahani kahakar main rona aur rulana nahin chahata. mere chale jane ke bad mohan itane parishram se padhane laga mano tapasya kar raha ho. use yah dhun savar ho gee thi ki sal bhar ki padhaee do mahine men samapt kar le aur skool khulane ke bad mujhase is shram ka prashnsaroopi upahar prapt kare. main kis tarah usaki pith thokoonga, shabashi doonga, apane mitron se bakhan karoonga, in bhavanaon ne apane sare balochit utsah aur tallinata se use vashibhoot kar liya. mamaji ko daftar ke kamon se itana avakash kahan ki usake manornjan ka dhyan rakhen. shayad use pratidin kuchh-n-kuchh padhate dekhakar vah dil men khush hote the. use khelate dekhakar vah zaroor daautate. padhate dekhakar bhala kya kahate. phal yah hua ki mohan ko halka-halka jvar ane laga, kintu us dasha men bhi usane padhana n chhoda. kuchh aur vyatikram bhi hue, jvar ka prakop aur bhi badha; par us dasha men bhi jvar kuchh halka ho jata, to kitaben dekhane lagata tha. usake pran mujhamen hi bane rahate the. jvar ki dasha men bhi naukaron se poochhata bhaiya ka patr aya ? vah kab ayenge ? isake siva aur koee doosari abhilasha n thi. agar mujhe maloom hota ki meri kashmir-yatra itani mahngi padegi, to udhar jane ka nam bhi n leta. use bachane ke lie mujhase jo kuchh ho sakata tha, vah mainne sab kiya; kintu bukhar taiphayad tha, usaki jan lekar hi utara. usake jivan ke svapn mere lie kisi rishi ke ashirvad banakar mujhe protsahit karane lage aur yah usi ka shubh phal hai ki aj ap mujhe is dasha men dekh rahe hain. mohan ki bal abhilashaon ko pratyaksh roop men lakar yah mujhe sntosh hota hai ki shayad usaki pavitr atma mujhe dekhakar prasann hoti ho. yahi prerana thi ki jisane kathin se kathin parikshaon men bhi mera beda par lagaya; nahin to main aj bhi vahi mndabuddhi sooryaprakash hoon, jisaki soorat se ap chidhate the.'

us din se main kee bar sooryaprakash se mil chuka hoon. vah jab is taraph a jata hai, to bina mujhase mile nahin jata. mohan ko ab bhi vah apana ishtadev samajhata hai. manav-prakriti ka yah ek aisa rahasy hai, jise main aj tak nahin samajh saka.

tika tippani aur sndarbh

bahari kadiyan

snbndhit lekh

varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

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