प्रेरणा -प्रेमचंद

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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meri kaksha mean sooryaprakash se zyada oodhami koee l daka n tha, balki yoan kaho ki adhyapan-kal ke das varshoan mean mujhe aisi visham prakriti ke shishy se sabaka n p da tha. kapat-kri da mean usaki jan basati thi. adhyapakoan ko banane aur chidhane, udyogi balakoan ko chhe dane aur rulane mean hi use anand ata tha. aise-aise shadayantr rachata, aise-aise phande dalata, aise-aise bandhan baandhata ki dekhakar ashchary hota tha. girohabandi mean abhyast tha. khudaee faujadaroan ki ek fauj bana li thi aur usake atank se shala par shasan karata tha. mukhy adhishthata ki ajna tal jay, magar kya majal ki koee usake hukm ki avajna kar sake. skool ke chaparasi aur ardali usase thar-thar kaanpate the. inspektar ka muaina hone vala tha, mukhy adhishthata ne hukm diya ki l dake nirdisht samay se adha ghanta pahale a jayan. matalab yah tha ki l dakoan ko muaine ke bare mean kuchh zaroori batean bata di jayan, magar das baj gaye, inspektar sahab akar baith gaye, aur madarase mean ek l daka bhi nahian. gyarah baje sab chhatr is tarah nikal p de, jaise koee pianjara khol diya gaya ho. inspektar sahab ne kaiphiyat mean likha disiplin bahut kharab hai. priansipal sahab ki kirakiri huee, adhyapak badanam hue aur yah sari shararat sooryaprakash ki thi, magar bahut poochh-tachh karane par bhi kisi ne sooryaprakash ka nam tak n liya. mujhe apani sanchalan-vidhi par garv tha. treniang kalej mean is vishay mean maianne khyati prapt ki thi, magar yahaan mera sara sanchalan-kaushal jaise morcha kha gaya tha. kuchh akl hi kam n karati ki shaitan ko kaise sanmarg par layean.

kee bar adhyapakoan ki baithak huee, par yah girah n khuli. nee shiksha-vidhi ke anusar maian dandaniti ka pakshapati n tha, magar yahaan ham is niti se keval isalie virakt the ki kahian upachar se bhi rog asadhay n ho jay. sooryaprakash ko skool se nikal dene ka prastav bhi kiya gaya, par ise apani ayogyata ka praman samajhakar ham is niti ka vyavahar karane ka sahas n kar sake. bis-baees anubhavi aur shikshashastr ke achary ek barah-terah sal ke uddand balak ka sudhar n kar sakean, yah vichar bahut hi nirashajanak tha. yoan to sara skool usase trahi-trahi karata tha, magar sabase zyada sankat mean maian tha, kyoanki vah meri kaksha ka chhatr tha aur usaki shararatoan ka kuphal mujhe bhogana p data tha. maian skool ata, to haradam yahi khataka laga rahata tha ki dekhean aj kya vipatti ati hai. ek din maianne apani mej ki daraj kholi, to usamean se ek b da-sa meandhak nikal p da. maian chauankakar pichhe hata to klas mean ek shor mach gaya. usaki or sarosh netroan se dekhakar rah gaya. sara ghanta upadesh mean bit gaya aur vah pattha sir jhukaye niche muskara raha tha. mujhe ashchary hota tha ki yah niche ki kakshaoan mean kaise pas hua tha.

ek din maianne gusse se kaha, ‘tum is kaksha se umr bhar nahian pas ho sakate.‘

sooryaprakash ne avichalit bhav se kaha, ‘ap mere pas hone ki chinta n karean. maian hamesha pas hua hooan aur abaki bhi hooanga.‘

'asambhav !'

'asambhav sambhav ho jayaga !'

maian ashchary se usaka muanh dekhane laga. jahin se jahin l daka bhi apani saphalata ka dava itane nirvivad roop se n kar sakata tha. maianne socha, vah prashn-patr u da leta hoga. maianne pratijna ki, abaki isaki ek chal bhi n chalane dooanga. dekhooan, kitane din is kaksha mean p da rahata hai. ap ghab dakar nikal jayaga.

varshik pariksha ke avasar par maianne asadharan dekhabhal se kam liya; magar jab sooryaprakash ka uttar-patr dekha, to mere vismay ki sima n rahi. mere do parche the, donoan hi mean usake nambar kaksha mean sabase adhik the. mujhe khoob maloom tha ki vah mere kisi parche ka koee prashn bhi hal nahian kar sakata. maian ise siddh kar sakata tha; magar usake uttar-patroan ko kya karata ! lipi mean itana bhed n tha jo koee sandeh utpann kar sakata. maianne priansipal se kaha,to vah bhi chakara gaye; magar unhean bhi jan-boojhakar makkhi nigalani p di. maian kadachith svabhav hi se nirashavadi hooan. any adhyapakoan ko maian sooryaprakash ke vishay mean jara bhi chiantit n pata tha. mano aise l dakoan ka skool mean ana koee nee bat nahian, magar mere lie vah ek vikat rahasy tha. agar yahi dhang rahe, to ek din ya to jel mean hoga, ya pagalakhane mean.

usi sal mera tabadala ho gaya. yadyapi yahaan ka jalavayu mere anukool tha, priansipal aur any adhyapakoan se maitri ho gee thi, magar maian apane tabadale se khush hua; kyoanki sooryaprakash mere marg ka kaanta n rahega. l dakoan ne mujhe bidaee ki davat di aur sab-ke-sab steshan tak pahuanchane aye. us vakt sabhi l dake aankhoan mean aansoo bhare hue the. maian bhi apane aansuoan ko n rok saka. sahasa meri nigah sooryaprakash par p di, jo sabase pichhe lajjit kh da tha. mujhe aisa maloom hua ki usaki aankhean bhi bhigi thian. mera ji bar-barachahata tha ki chalate-chalate usase do-char batean kar looan. shayad vah bhi mujhase kuchh kahana chahata tha, magar n maianne pahale batean kian, n usane; halaanki mujhe bahut dinoan tak isaka khed raha. usaki jhijhak to kshama ke yogy thi; par mera avarodh akshamy tha. sanbhav tha, us karuna aur glani ki dasha mean meri do-char nishkapat batean usake dil par asar kar jatian; magar inhian khoye

hue avasaroan ka nam to jivan hai. ga di mandagati se chali. l dake kee qadam tak usake sath dau de. maian khi daki ke bahar sir nikale kh da tha. kuchh der mujhe unake hilate hue roomal najar aye. phir ve rekhaean akash mean vilin ho geean : magar ek alpakay moorti ab bhi pletapharm par kh di thi. maianne anuman kiya, vah sooryaprakash hai. us samay mera hriday kisi vikal kaidi ki bhaanti ghrina, maliny aur udasinata ke bandhanoan ko to d-to dakar usake gale milane ke lie t dap utha.

naye sthan ki nee chiantaoan ne bahut jald mujhe apani or akarshit kar liya. pichhale dinoan ki yad ek hasarat banakar rah gee. n kisi ka koee khat aya, n maianne koee khat likha. shayad duniya ka yahi dastoor hai. varsha ke bad varsha ki hariyali kitane dinoan rahati hai. sanyog se mujhe iangalaind mean vidyabhyas karane ka avasar mil gaya. vahaan tin sal lag gaye. vahaan se lauta to ek kalej ka priansipal bana diya gaya. yah sidhdi mere lie bilakul ashatit thi. meri bhavana svapn mean bhi itani door n u di thi; kintu padalipsa ab kisi aur bhi ooanchi dali par ashray lena chahati thi.

shikshamantri se rabt-jabt paida kiya. mantri mahoday mujh par kripa rakhate the; magar vastav mean shiksha ke maulik sidhdaantoan ka unhean jnan n tha. mujhe pakar unhoanne sara bhar mere oopar dal diya. gho de par vah savar the, lagam mere hath mean thi. phal yah hua ki unake rajanitik vipakshiyoan se mera virodh ho gaya. mujh par ja-beja akraman hone lage. maian siddhant roop se anivary shiksha ka virodhi hooan. mera vichar hai ki har ek manushy ki un vishayoan mean zyada svadhinata honi chahie, jinaka usase nij ka sanbandh hai. mera vichar hai ki yoorop mean anivary shiksha ki zaroorat hai, bharat mean nahian. bhautikata pashchimi sabhyata ka mool tattv hai. vahaan kisi kam ki prerana, arthik labh ke adhar par hoti hai. zindagi ki zaroorat zyada hai; isalie jivan-sangram bhi adhik bhishan hai. mata-pita bhog ke das hokar bachchoan ko jald-se-jald kuchh kamane par majaboor karate haian. isaki jagah ki vah mad ka tyag karake ek shiliang roj ki bachat kar lean, ve apane kamasin bachche ko ek shiliang ki mazadoori karane ke lie dabayeange. bharatiy jivan mean satvik saralata hai. ham us vakt tak apane bachchoan se mazadoori nahian karate, jab tak ki paristhiti hamean vivash n kar de. daridr se daridr hiandustani mazadoor bhi shiksha ke upakaroan ka kayal hai. usake man mean yah abhilasha hoti hai ki mera bachcha char akshar padh jay. isalie nahian ki use koee adhikar milega; balki keval isalie ki vidya manavi shil ka ek shrriangar hai. agar yah janakar bhi vah apane bachche ko madarase nahian bhejata, to samajh lena chahie ki vah majaboor hai. aisi dasha mean us par qanoon ka prahar karana meri drishti mean nyay-sangat nahian hai. isake sivay mere vichar mean abhi hamare desh mean yogy shikshakoan ka abhav hai. ardhd-shikshit aur alpavetan panevale adhyapakoan se ap yah asha nahian rakh sakate ki vah koee ooancha adarsh apane samane rakh sakean. adhik-se-adhik itana hi hoga ki char-paanch varsh mean balak ko akshar-jnan ho jayaga. maian ise parvat khodakar chuhiya nikalane ke tuly samajhata hooan. vayas prapt ho jane par yah masala ek mahine mean asani se tay kiya ja sakata hai.

maian anubhav se kah sakata hooan ki yuvavastha mean ham jitana jnan ek mahine mean prapt kar sakate haian, utana balyavastha mean tin sal mean bhi nahian kar sakate, phir khamakhvah bachchoan ko madarase mean kaid karane se kya labh ? madarase ke bahar rahakar use svachchh vayu to milati, prakritik anubhav to hote. pathashala mean band karake to ap usake manasik aur sharirik donoan vidhanoan ki j d kat dete haian. isalie jab prantiy vyavasthapak-sabha mean anivary shiksha ka prastav pesh hua, to meri prerana se ministar sahab ne usaka virodh kiya. natija yah hua ki prastav asvikrit ho gaya. phir kya tha. ministar sahab ki aur meri vah le-de shuroo huee ki kuchh n poochhie. vyaktagit akshep kie jane lage. maian garib ki bivi tha, mujhe hi sabaki bhabhi banana p da. mujhe deshadrohi, unnati ka shatru aur naukarashahi ka gulam kaha, gaya. mere kalej mean jara-si bhi koee bat hoti to kauansil mean mujh par varsha hone lagati. maianne ek chaparasi ko prithakh kiya. sari kauansil panje jha dakar mere pichhe p d gee. akhir ministar sahab ko majaboor hokar us chaparasi ko bahal karana p da. yah apaman mere lie asahy tha. shayad koee bhi ise sahan n kar sakata. ministar sahab se mujhe shikayat nahian. vah majaboor the. haan, is vatavaran mean kam karana mere lie dussadhay ho gaya. mujhe apane kalej ke antarik sangathan ka bhi adhikar nahian. amuk kyoan nahian pariksha mean bheja gaya, amuk ke badale amuk ko kyoan nahian chhatravritti di gee, amuk adhyapak ko amuk kaksha kyoan nahian di jati, is tarah ke sarahin akshepoan ne meri nak mean dam kar diya tha. is nee chot ne kamar to d di. maianne istipha de diya.

mujhe ministar sahab se itani asha avashy thi ki vah kam-se-kam is vishay mean nyay-parayanata se kam leange; magar unhoanne nyay ki jagah niti ko many samajha aur mujhe kee sal ki bhakt ika yah phal mila ki maian padachyut kar diya gaya. sansar ka aisa katu anubhav mujhe ab tak n hua tha. grah bhi kuchh bure a gaye the, unhian dinoan patni ka dehant ho gaya. antim darshan bhi n kar saka. sandhya-samay nadi-tat par sair karane gaya tha. vah kuchh asvasth thian. lauta, to unaki lash mili. kadachith hriday ki gati band ho gee thi. is aghat ne kamar to d di. mata ke prasad aur ashirvad se b de-b de mahanh purush kritarth ho gaye haian. maian jo kuchh hua, patni ke prasad aur ashirvad se hua; vah mere bhagy ki vidhatri thian. kitana alaukik tyag tha, kitana vishal dhairy. unake madhury mean tikshnata ka nam bhi n tha. mujhe yad nahian ata ki maianne kabhi unaki bhrikuti sankuchit dekhi ho, vah nirash hona to janati hi n thian. maian kee bar sakht bimar p da hooan. vaidy nirash ho gaye haian, par vah apane dhairy aur shaanti se anu-matr bhi vichalit nahian hueean. unhean vishvas tha ki maian apane pati ke jivan-kal mean marooangi aur vahi hua bhi. maian jivan mean ab tak unhian ke sahare kh da tha ! jab vah avalamb hi n raha, to jivan kahaan rahata. khane aur sone ka nam jivan nahian hai. jivan nam hai, sadaiv age badhate rahane ki lagan ka. yah lagan gayab ho gee. maian sansar se virakt ho gaya. aur ekantavas mean

jivan ke din vyatit karane ka nishchay karake ek chhote-se gaanv mean ja basa. charoan taraph ooanche-ooanche tile the, ek or ganga bahati thi. maianne nadi ke kinare ek chhota-sa ghar bana liya aur usi mean rahane laga. magar kam karana to manavi svabhav hai. bekari mean jivan kaise katata. maianne ek chhoti-si pathashala khol li; ek vriksh ki chhaanh mean gaanv ke l dakoan ko jama kar kuchh padhaya karata tha. usaki yahaan itani khyati huee ki as-pas ke gaanv ke chhatr bhi ane lage. ek din maian apani kaksha ko padha raha tha ki pathashala ke pas ek motar akar ruki aur usamean se us zile ke dipti kamishnar utar p de. maian us samay keval ek kurta aur dhoti pahane hue tha. is vesh mean ek hakim se milate hue sharm a rahi thi. dipti kamishnar mere samip aye to maianne jheanpate hue hath badhaya, magar vah mujhase hath milane ke badale mere pairoan ki or jhuke aur un par sir rakh diya. maian kuchh aisa sitapita gaya ki mere muanh se ek shabd bhi n nikala. maian aangareji achchhi likhata hooan, darshanashastr ka bhi achary hooan, vyakhyan bhi achchhe de leta hooan. magar in gunoan mean ek bhi shrriddha ke yogy nahian. shrriddha to jnaniyoan aur sadhuoan hi ke adhikar ki vastu hai. agar maian brahman hota, to ek bat thi. halaanki ek siviliyan ka kisi brahman ke pairoan par sir rakhana achiantaniy hai. maian abhi isi vismay mean p da hua tha ki dipti kamishnar ne sir uthaya aur meri taraph dekhakar kaha, apane shayad mujhe pahachana nahian.

itana sunate hi mere smriti-netr khul gaye, bola, ‘apaka nam sooryaprakash to nahian hai ?’

'ji haan, maian apaka vahi abhaga shishy hooan.'

'barah-terah varsh ho gaye.'

sooryaprakash ne muskarakar kaha, ‘adhyapak l dakoan ko bhool jate haian, par l dake unhean hamesha yad rakhate haian.

maianne usi vinod ke bhav se kaha, ‘tum jaise l dakoan ko bhoolana asanbhav hai.‘

sooryaprakash ne vinit svar mean kaha, ‘unhian aparadhoan ko kshama karane ke lie seva mean aya hooan. maian sadaiv apaki khabar leta rahata tha. jab ap iangalaind gaye, to maianne apake lie badhaee ka patr likha; par use bhej n saka. jab ap priansipal hue, maian iangalaind jane ko taiyar tha. vahaan maian patrikaoan mean apake lekh padhata rahata tha. jab lauta, to maloom hua ki apane istipha de diya aur kahian dehat mean chale gaye haian. is zile mean aye hue mujhe ek varsh se adhik hua; par isaka jara bhi anuman n tha ki ap yahaan ekaant-sevan kar rahe haian. is uja d gaanv mean apaka ji kaise lagata hai ? itani hi avastha mean apane vanaprasth le liya ?’

maian nahian kah sakata ki sooryaprakash ki unnati dekhakar mujhe kitana ashcharyamay anand hua. agar vah mera putr hota to bhi isase adhik anand n hota. maian use apane jhoanp de mean laya aur apani ramakaha,ni kah sunaee. sooryaprakash ne kaha, ‘to yah kahie ki ap apane hi ek bhaee ke vishvasaghat ke shikar hue. mera anubhav to abhi bahut kam hai; magar itane hi dinoan mean mujhe maloom ho gaya hai, ki ham log abhi apani zimmedariyoan ko poora karana nahian janate. ministar sahab se bheant huee to poochhooanga, ki yahi apaka dharm tha.‘

maianne javab diya-- ‘bhaee, unaka dosh nahian. sanbhav hai, is dasha mean maian bhi vahi karata, jo unhoanne kiya. mujhe apani svarthalipsa ki saza mil gee, aur usake lie maian unaka rrini hooan. banavat nahian, saty kahata hooan ki yahaan mujhe jo shaanti hai, vah aur kahian n thi. is ekant-jivan mean mujhe jivan ke tattvoan ka vah jnan hua, jo sanpatti aur adhikar ki dau d mean kisi tarah sanbhav n tha. itihas aur bhoogol ke pothe chatakar aur yoorap ke vidyalayoan ki sharan jakar bhi maian apani mamata ko n mita saka; balki yah rog din-din aur bhi asadhay hota jata tha. ap sidhiyoan par paanv rakhe bagair chhat ki ooanchaee tak nahian pahuanch sakate. sampatti ki attalika tak pahuanchane mean doosaroan ki ziandagi hi zinoan ka kam deti hai. ap kuchalakar hi lakshy tak pahuanch sakate haian. vahaan saujany aur sahanubhooti ka sthan hi nahian. mujhe aisa maloom hota hai ki us vakt maian hianstr jantuoan se ghira hua tha aur meri sari shaktiyaan apani atmaraksha mean hi lagi rahati thian. yahaan maian apane charoan or santosh aur saralata dekhata hooan. mere pas jo log ate haian, koee svarth lekar nahian ate aur n meri sevaoan mean prashansa ya gaurav ki lalasa hai. yah kahakar maianne sooryaprakash ke chehare ki or gaur se dekha. kapat musakan ki jagah glani ka rang tha. shayad yah dikhane aya tha ki ap jisaki taraph se itane nirash ho gaye the, vah ab is pad ko sushobhit kar raha hai. vah mujhase apane sadudyog ka bakhan karana chahata tha. mujhe ab apani bhool maloom huee. ek sanpann adami ke samane samridhdi ki nianda uchit nahian. maianne turant bat palatakar kaha, magar tum apana hal to kaho. tumhari yah kaya-palat kaise huee ? tumhari shararatoan ko yad karata hooan to ab bhi roean kh de ho jate haian. kisi devata ke varadan ke siva aur to kahian yah vibhooti n prapt ho sakati thi.‘

sooryaprakash ne musakarakar kaha, ‘apaka ashirvad tha.‘ mere bahut agrah karane par sooryaprakash ne apana vrittaant sunana shuroo kiya apake chale ane ke kee din bad mera mamera bhaee skool mean dakhil hua. usaki umr ath-nau sal se zyada n thi. priansipal sahab use hostal mean n lete the aur n mama sahab usake thaharane ka prabandh kar sakate the. unhean is sankat mean dekhakar maianne priansipal sahab se kaha, use mere kamare mean thahara dijiye. priansipal sahab ne ise niyam-viruddh batalaya. is par maianne big dakar usi din hostal chho d diya aur ek kiraye ka makan lekar mohan ke sath rahane laga. usaki maan kee sal pahale mar chuki thi. itana dubala-patala, kamazor aur garib l daka tha ki pahale hi din se mujhe us par daya ane lagi. kabhi usake sir mean dard hota, kabhi jvar ho ata.

aye din koee-n-koee bimari kh di rahati thi. idhar saanjh huee aur jhapakiyaan ane lagian. b di mushkil se bhojan karane uthata. din chadhe tak soya karata aur jab tak maian god mean uthakar bitha n deta, uthane ka nam n leta. rat ko bahudha chauankakar meri charapaee par a jata. mere gale se lipatakar sota. mujhe us par kabhi krodh n ata. kah nahian sakata, kyoan mujhe usase prem ho gaya. maian jahaan pahale nau baje sokar uthata tha, ab t dake uth baithata aur usake lie doodh garam karata. phir use uthakar hath-muanh dhulata aur nashta karata. usake svasthy ke vichar se nity vayu sevan ko le jata. maian jo kabhi kitab lekar n baithata tha, use ghantoan padhaya karata. mujhe apane dayitv ka itana jnan kaise ho gaya, isaka mujhe ashchary hai. use koee shikayat ho jati to mere pran nakhoan mean sama jate. daktar ke pas dau data, davaean lata aur mohan ki khushamad karake dava pilata. sadaiv yah chianta lagi rahati thi, ki koee bat usaki ichchha ke viruddh n ho jay. is bechare ka yahaan mere siva doosara kaun hai. mere chanchal mitroan mean se koee use chidhata ya chhe data to meri tyoriyaan badal jati thian ! kee l dake to mujhe boodhi daee kahakar chidhate the; par maian hansakar tal deta tha. maian usake samane ek anuchit shabd bhi muanh se n nikalata. yah shanka hoti thi, ki kahian meri dekha-dekhi yah bhi kharab n ho jay. maian usake samane is tarah rahana chahata tha, ki vah mujhe apana adarsh samajhe aur isake lie yah mani huee bat thi ki maian apana charitr sudharooan. vah mera nau baje sokar uthana, barah baje tak mataragashti karana, nee-nee shararatoan ke mansoobe baandhana aur adhyapakoan ki aankh bachakar skool se u d jana, sab ap-hi-ap jata raha. svasthy aur charitr palan ke sidhdaantoan ka maian shatru tha; par ab mujhase badhakar un niyamoan ka rakshak doosara n tha. maian eeshvar ka upahas kiya karata, magar ab pakka astik ho gaya tha. vah b de saral bhav se poochhata, paramatma sab jagah rahate haian, to mere pas bhi rahate hoange. is prashn ka majak u dana mere lie asanbhav tha. maian kahata haan paramatma tumhare, hamare sabake pas rahate haian aur hamari raksha karate haian. yah ashvasan pakar usaka chehara anand se khil uthata tha, kadachith vah paramatma ki satta ka anubhav karane lagata tha. sal hi bhar mean mohan kuchh se kuchh ho gaya. mama sahab dobara aye, to use dekhakar chakit ho gaye. aankhoan mean aansoo bharakar bole 'beta ! tumane isako zila liya, nahian to maian nirash ho chuka tha. isaka punit phal tumhean eeshvar deange. isaki maan svarg mean baithi huee tumhean ashirvad de rahi hai.' sooryaprakash ki aankhean us vakt bhi sajal ho gee thian.

maianne poochha, ‘mohan bhi tumhean bahut pyar karata hoga ?’

sooryaprakash ke sajal netroan mean hasarat se bhara hua anand chamak utha,’bola, vah mujhe ek minat ke lie bhi n chho data tha. mere sath baithata, mere sath khata, mere sath sota. maian hi usaka sabakuchh tha. ah ! vah sansar mean nahian hai. magar mere lie vah ab bhi usi tarah jita-jagata hai. maian jo kuchh hooan, usi ka banaya hua hooan. agar vah daivi vidhan ki bhaanti mera path-pradarshak n ban jata, to shayad aj maian kisi jel mean p da hota. ek din maianne kah diya tha agar tum roj naha n liya karoge to maian tumase n bolooanga. nahane se vah n jane kyoan ji churata tha. meri is dhamaki ka phal yah hua ki vah nity prat:kal nahane laga. kitani hi sardi kyoan n ho, kitani hi thandi hava chale; lekin vah snan avashy karata tha. dekhata rahata tha, maian kis bat se khush hota hooan. ek din maian kee mitroan ke sath thiyetar dekhane chala gaya, takid kar gaya tha ki tum khana khakar so rahana.

tin baje rat ko lauta, to dekha ki vah baitha hua hai ! maianne poochha, ‘tum soye nahian ? bola, niand nahian aee.‘

us din se maianne thiyetar jane ka nam n liya. bachchoan mean pyar ki jo ek bhookh hoti hai doodh, mithaee aur khilaunoan se bhi zyada madak zo maan ki god ke samane sansar ki nidhi ki bhi paravah nahian karati, mohan ki vah bhookh kabhi santusht n hoti thi. paha doan se takarane vali saras ki avaz ki tarah vah sadaiv usaki nasoan mean gooanja karati thi. jaise bhoomi par phaili huee lata koee sahara pate hi usase chipat jati hai, vahi hal mohan ka tha. vah mujhase aisa chipat gaya tha ki prithakh kiya jata, to usaki komal bel ke tuk de-tuk de ho jate. vah mere sath tin sal raha aur tab mere jivan mean prakash ki ek rekha dalakar andhakar mean vilin ho gaya. us jirn kaya mean kaise-kaise araman bhare hue the. kadachith eeshvar ne mere jivan mean ek avalamb ki srishti karane ke lie use bheja tha. uddeshy poora ho gaya to vah kyoan rahata.

'garmiyoan ki tatil thi. do tatiloan mean mohan mere hi sath raha tha. mamaji ke agrah karane par bhi ghar n aya. abaki kalej ke chhatroan ne kashmir-yatra karane ka nishchay kiya aur mujhe usaka adhyaksh banaya. kashmir yatra ki abhilasha mujhe chirakal se thi. isi avasar ko ganimat samajha. mohan ko mamaji ke pas bhejakar maian kashmir chala gaya. do mahine ke bad lauta, to maloom hua mohan bimar hai. kashmir mean mujhe bar-bar mohan ki yad ati thi aur ji chahata tha, laut jaooan. mujhe us par itana prem hai, isaka aandazamujhe kashmir jakar hua; lekin mitroan ne pichha n chho da. usaki bimari ki khabar pate hi maian adhir ho utha aur doosare hi din usake pas ja pahuancha. mujhe dekhate hi usake pile aur sookhe hue chehare par anand ki sphoorti jhalak p di. maian dau dakar usake gale se lipat gaya. usaki aankhoan mean vah dooradrishti aur chehare par vah alaukik abha thi jo mandarati huee mrityu ki soochana deti hai. maianne avesh se kaanpate hue svar mean poochha, yah tumhari kya dasha hai mohan ? do hi mahine mean yah naubat pahuanch gee ? mohan ne saral muskan ke sath kaha, 'ap kashmir ki sair karane gaye the, maian akash ki sair karane ja raha hooan.'

'magar yah du:kh ki kahani kahakar maian rona aur rulana nahian chahata. mere chale jane ke bad mohan itane parishram se padhane laga mano tapasya kar raha ho. use yah dhun savar ho gee thi ki sal bhar ki padhaee do mahine mean samapt kar le aur skool khulane ke bad mujhase is shram ka prashansaroopi upahar prapt kare. maian kis tarah usaki pith thokooanga, shabashi dooanga, apane mitroan se bakhan karooanga, in bhavanaoan ne apane sare balochit utsah aur tallinata se use vashibhoot kar liya. mamaji ko daftar ke kamoan se itana avakash kahaan ki usake manoranjan ka dhyan rakhean. shayad use pratidin kuchh-n-kuchh padhate dekhakar vah dil mean khush hote the. use khelate dekhakar vah zaroor d aautate. padhate dekhakar bhala kya kahate. phal yah hua ki mohan ko halka-halka jvar ane laga, kintu us dasha mean bhi usane padhana n chho da. kuchh aur vyatikram bhi hue, jvar ka prakop aur bhi badha; par us dasha mean bhi jvar kuchh halka ho jata, to kitabean dekhane lagata tha. usake pran mujhamean hi bane rahate the. jvar ki dasha mean bhi naukaroan se poochhata bhaiya ka patr aya ? vah kab ayeange ? isake siva aur koee doosari abhilasha n thi. agar mujhe maloom hota ki meri kashmir-yatra itani mahangi p degi, to udhar jane ka nam bhi n leta. use bachane ke lie mujhase jo kuchh ho sakata tha, vah maianne sab kiya; kintu bukhar taiphayad tha, usaki jan lekar hi utara. usake jivan ke svapn mere lie kisi rrishi ke ashirvad banakar mujhe protsahit karane lage aur yah usi ka shubh phal hai ki aj ap mujhe is dasha mean dekh rahe haian. mohan ki bal abhilashaoan ko pratyaksh roop mean lakar yah mujhe santosh hota hai ki shayad usaki pavitr atma mujhe dekhakar prasann hoti ho. yahi prerana thi ki jisane kathin se kathin parikshaoan mean bhi mera be da par lagaya; nahian to maian aj bhi vahi mandabuddhi sooryaprakash hooan, jisaki soorat se ap chidhate the.'

us din se maian kee bar sooryaprakash se mil chuka hooan. vah jab is taraph a jata hai, to bina mujhase mile nahian jata. mohan ko ab bhi vah apana ishtadev samajhata hai. manav-prakriti ka yah ek aisa rahasy hai, jise maian aj tak nahian samajh saka.

sanbandhit lekh

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