विद्रोही -प्रेमचंद  हिन्दी देवनागरी में पढ़ें।

Icon-edit.gif is lekh ka punarikshan evn sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamen sahayata kar sakate hain. "sujhav"

aj das sal se jabt kar raha hoon. apane is nanhe-se hriday men agni ka dahakata hua kund chhipaye baitha hoon. snsar men kahin shanti hogi, kahin sair-tamashe honge, kahin manornjan ki vastuen hongi; mere lie to ab yahi agnirashi hai aur kuchh nahin. jivan ki sari abhilashaen isi men jalakar rakh ho gayin. kisase apani manovyatha kahoon ? fayada hi kya ? jisake bhagy men rudan, annt rudan ho, usaka mar jana hi achchha. mainne pahali bar tara ko us vakt dekha, jab meri umr das sal ki thi. mere pita agare ke ek achchhe daktar the. lakhanoo men mere ek chacha rahate the. unhonne vakalat men kafi dhan kamaya tha. main un dinon chacha hi ke sath rahata tha. chacha ke koee santan n thi; isalie main hi unaka varis tha. chacha aur chachi donon mujhe apana putr samajhate the. meri mata bachapan hi men sidhar chuki thin. matri-sneh ka jo kuchh prasad mujhe mila, vah chachiji hi ki bhiksha thi. vahi bhiksha mere us matri-prem se vnchit balapan ki sari vibhooti thi.   chacha sahab ke pados men hamari biradari ke ek baboo sahab aur rahate the. vah relave-vibhag men kisi achchhe ohade par the. do-dhaee sau rupaye pate the. nam tha vimalachandr. tara unhin ki putri thi. us vakt usaki umr panch sal ki hogi. bachapan ka vah din aj bhi ankhon ke samane hai, jab tara ek phraauk pahane, balon men ek gulab ka phool goonthe hue mere samane akar khadi ho gayi. kah nahin sakata, kyon main use dekhakar jhenp-sa gaya. mujhe vah dev-kanya si maloom huee, jo usha-kal ke saurabh aur prakash se rnjit akash se utar ayi ho.   us din se tara aksar mere ghar ati. usake ghar men khelane ki jagah n thi. chacha sahab ke ghar ke samane lamba-chauda maidan tha. vahin vah khela karati. dhire-dhire main bhi usase manoos ho gaya. main jab skool se lautata to tara daudakar mere hathon se kitabon ka basta le leti. jab main skool jane ke lie gadi par baithata, to vah bhi akar mere sath baith jati. ek din usake samane chachi ne chachaji se kaha, ‘tara ko main apani bahoo banaoongi. kyon krishna, too tara se byah karega ?’ main mare sharm ke bahar bhag gaya; lekin tara vahin khadi rahi, mano chachi ne use mithaee dene ko bulaya ho.   us din se chacha aur chachi men aksar yahi charcha hoti ... kabhi salah ke dhng se, kabhi majak ke dhng se. us avasar par main to sharmakar bahar bhag jata tha; par tara khush hoti thi. donon parivaron men itana gharav tha ki is sambandh ka ho jana koee asadharan bat n thi. tara ke mata-pita ko to isaka poora vishvas tha ki tara se mera vivah hoga. main jab unake ghar jata, to meri badi avabhagat hoti. tara ki man use mere sath chhodakar kisi bahane se tal jati thin. kisi ko ab isamen shak n tha ki tara hi meri hridayeshvari hogi.   ek din us sarala ne mitti ka ek gharaunda banaya. mere makan ke samane nim ka ped tha. usi ki chhaauh men vah gharaunda taiyar hua. usamen kee jara-jara se kamare the, kee mitti ke baratan, ek nanhi-si charapaee thi. mainne jakar dekha, to tara gharaunda banane men tanmay ho rahi thi. mujhe dekhate hi daudakar mere pas ayi aur boli, ‘qrishna, chalo hamara ghar dekho, mainne abhi banaya hai. gharaunda dekha, to hnsakar bola, ‘isamen kaun rahega, tara ?’ tara ne aisa munh banaya, mano yah vyarth ka prashn tha ! boli, ‘kyon,  ham aur tum kahan rahenge ? jab hamara-tumhara vivah ho jayaga, to ham log isi ghar men akar rahenge. vah dekho, tumhari baithak hai, tum yahin baithakar padhoge. doosara kamara mera hai, isamen baithakar main gudiya kheloongi.‘ mainne hnsi karake kaha, ‘kyon, kya main sari umr padhata hi rahoonga aur tum hamesha gudiya hi khelati rahogi ?’ tara ne meri taraph is dhng se dekha, jaise meri bat nahin samajhi. pagali janati thi ki zindagi khelane aur hnsane hi ke lie hai. yah n janati thi ki ek din hava ka ek jhonka ayega aur is gharaunde ko uda le jayega aur isi ke sath ham donon bhi kahin-se-kahin ja udenge.   isake bad main pitaji ke pas chala aya aur kee sal padhata raha. lakhanoo ki jalavayu mere anukool n thi, ya pitaji ne mujhe apane pas rakhane ke lie yah bahana kiya tha, main nishchay nahin kah sakata. intaramidiet tak main agare hi men padha, lekin chacha sahab ke darshanon ke lie barabar jata rahata tha. har ek tatil men lakhanoo avashy jata aur garmiyon ki chhutti to poori lakhanoo hi men katati thi. ek chhutti gujarate hi doosari chhutti ane ke din gine jane lagate the. agar mujhe ek din ki bhi der ho jati, to tara ka patr a pahunchata. bachapan ke us saral prem men ab javani ka utsah aur unmad tha. ve pyare din kya bhool sakate hain ! vahi madhur smritiyan ab is jivan ka sarvasv hain. ham donon rat ko sab ki najaren bachakar milate aur havaee kile banate. isase koee yah n samajhe ki hamare man men pap tha, kadapi nahin. hamare bich men ek bhi aisa shabd, ek bhi aisa snket n ane pata, jo ham doosaron ke samane n kar sakate, jo uchit sima ke bahar hote.  yah keval vah snkoch tha, jo is avastha men hua karata hai. shadi ho jane ke bad bhi to kuchh dinon tak stri aur purush badon ke samane baten karate lajate hain. han, jo angreji sabhyata ke upasak hain, unaki bat main nahin chalata. ve to badon ke samane alingan aur chumban tak karate hain. hamari mulakaten doston ki mulakaten hoti thin qabhi tash ki bazi hoti, kabhi sahity ki charcha, kabhi svadesh seva ke manasoobe bndhate, kabhi snsar yatra ke.   kya kahoon, tara ka hriday kitana pavitr tha ! ab mujhe gyat hua ki stri kaise purush par niyantran kar sakati hai, kutsit ko kaise pavitr bana sakati hai. ek-doosare se baten karane men, ek-doosare ke samane baithe rahane men hamen asim anand hota tha. phir, prem ki baton ki zaroor vahan hoti hain, jahan apane akhand anurag, apani atul nishtha, apane poorn atm-samarpan ka vishvas dilana hota hai. hamara snbndh to sthir ho chuka tha. keval rasmen baki thin. vah mujhe apana pati samajhati thi, main use apani patni samajhata tha. thakuraji ka bhog lagane ke pahale thal ke padarthon men kaun hath laga sakata hai ? ham donon men kabhi-kabhi ladaee bhi hoti thi aur kee-kee dinon tak batachit ki naubat n ati; lekin jyadati koee kare, manana usi ko padata tha. main jara-si bat par tinak jata tha. vah hnsamukh thi, bahut hi sahanashil, lekin usake sath hi manini bhi parale sire ki. mujhe khilakar bhi khud n khati, mujhe hnsakar bhi khud n hnsati.   intaramidiet pas hote hi mujhe fauj men ek jagah mil gayi. us vibhag ke aphasaron men pitaji ka bada man tha. main sarjent ho gaya aur saubhagy se lakhanoo hi men meri niyukti huee. munhamangi murad poori huee. magar vidhi-vam kuchh aur hi shadayantr rach raha tha. main to is khayal men magan tha ki kuchh dinon men tara meri hogi. udhar ek doosara hi gul khil gaya. shahar ke ek nami rees ne chachaji se mere vivah ki bat chhed di aur ath hazar rupaye dahej ka vachan diya. chachaji ke munh se lar tapak padi. socha, yah ashatit rakam milati hai, ise kyon chhonoon. vimal baboo ki kanya ka vivah kahin-n-kahin ho hi jayaga. unhen sochakar javab dene ka vada karake vida kiya aur vimal baboo ko bulakar bole, ‘aj chaudhari sahab krishna ki shadi ki batachit karane aye the. ap to unhen janate honge ? achchhe rees hain. ath hazar rupaye de rahe hain. mainne kah diya hai, sochakar javab doonga. apaki kya ray hai ? yah shadi mnjoor kar loon ? vimal baboo ne chakit hokar kaha, yah ap kya pharamate hain ? krishna ki shadi to tara se thik ho chuki hai n ?’   chacha sahab ne anajan banakar kaha, ‘yah to mujhe aj maloom ho raha hai. kisane thik ki hai yah shadi ? apase to mujhase is vishay men koee bhi batachit nahin huee.‘ vimal baboo jara garm hokar bole, ‘zo bat aj das-barah sal se sunata hoon, kya usaki tasadik bhi karani chahie thi ? main to ise tay samajhe baitha hoon. main hi kya, sara muhalla tay samajh raha hai.‘ chacha sahab ne badanami ke bhay se jara dabakar kaha, ‘bhaee sahab, hak to yah hai ki main jab kabhi is sambandh ki charcha karata tha, dillagi ke taur par lekin khair, main apako nirash nahin karana chahata. ap mere purane mitr hain. main apake sath sab tarah ki riayat karane ko taiyar hoon. mujhe ath hazar mil rahe hain. ap mujhe sat hi hazar dijie chh: hazar hi dijie.‘ vimal baboo ne udasin bhav se kaha, ‘ap mujhase majak kar rahe hain ya sachamuch dahej mang rahe hain, mujhe yakin nahin ata.‘ chacha sahab ne matha sikodakar kaha, isamen majak ki to koee bat nahin. main apake samane chaudhari se baten kar sakata hoon.‘ ‘vimal baboo apane to yah naya prashn chhed diya. mujhe to svapn men bhi guman n tha ki hamare aur apake bich men yah prashn khada hoga. eeshvar ne apako bahut kuchh diya hai. das-panch hazar men apaka kuchh n banega.‘ ‘han, yah rakam meri samarthy se bahar hai. main to apase daya hi ki bhiksha mang sakata hoon. aj das-barah sal se ham krishna ko apana damad samajhate a rahe hain. apaki baton se bhi kee bar isaki tasadik ho chuki hai. krishna aur tara men jo prem hai, vah apase chhipa nahin hai. eeshvar ke lie thode-se rupayon ke vaste kee janon ka khoon n kijie.‘ chacha sahab ne dhrishtata se kaha, ‘vimal baboo, mujhe khed hai ki main is vishay men aur nahin dab sakata.‘ vimal baboo jara tej hokar bole, ‘ap mera gala ghont rahe hain !’ chacha –‘apako mera ehasan manana chahie ki kitani riayat kar raha hoon.‘ vimal—‘kyon n ho, ap mera gala ghonten aur main apaka ehasan manoon ? main itana udar nahin hoon. agar mujhe maloom hota ki ap itane lobhi hain, to apase door hi rahata. main apako sajjan samajhata tha. ab maloom hua ki ap bhi kaudiyon ke gulam hain. jisaki nigah men murauvat nahin, jisaki baton ka koee vishvas nahin, use main sharif nahin kah sakata. apako akhtiyar hai, krishna baboo ki shadi jahan chahen karen; lekin apako hath n malana pade, to kahiega. tara ka vivah to kahin-n-kahin ho hi jayaga aur eeshvar ne chaha to kisi achchhe hi ghar men hoga. snsar men sajjanon ka abhav nahin hai; magar apake hath apayash ke siva aur kuchh n lagega.‘ chacha sahab ne tyauriyan chadhakar kaha, ‘agar ap mere ghar men n hote, to is apaman ka kuchh javab deta !’ vimal baboo ne chhadi utha li aur kamare se bahar jate hue kaha, ‘ap mujhe kya javab denge ? ap javab dene ke yogy hi nahin hain.‘   usi din sham ko jab main bairak se aya aur jalapan karake vimal baboo ke ghar jane laga, to chachi ne kaha, ‘qahan jate ho ? vimal baboo se aur tumhare chachaji se aj ek jhadap ho gayi.‘ mainne thithakakar tajjub ke sath kaha, ‘jhadap ho gayi ! kis bat par ?’ chachi ne sara-ka-sara vrittant kah sunaya aur vimal ko jitane kale rngon men rng sakin, rnga – ‘tumase kya kahoon beta, aisa munhaphat to adami hi nahin dekha. hajaron hi galiyan din, ladane par amada ho gaya. mainne ek minat tak sannate men khade rahakar kaha, ‘achchhi bat hai, vahan  n jaoonga. bairak ja raha hoon. chachi bahut royin-chillayin; par main ek kshan-bhar bhi n thahara. aisa jan padata tha, jaise koee mere hriday men bhale bhonk raha hai. ghar se bairak tak paidal jane men shayad mujhe das minat se zyada n lage honge. bar-bar ji jhunjhalata tha; chacha sahab par nahin, vimal baboo par bhi nahin, keval apane oopar. kyon mujhamen itani himmat nahin hai ki jakar chacha sahab se kah doon qoee mujhe lakh rupaye bhi de, to shadi n karoonga. main kyon itana irapok, itana tejahin, itana dabboo ho gaya ? isi krodh men mainne pitaji ko ek patr likha aur vah sara vrittant sunane ke bad ant men likha mainne nishchay kar liya hai ki aur kahin shadi n karoonga, chahe mujhe apaki avgya hi kyon n karani pade. us avesh men n jane kya-kya likh gaya, ab yad bhi nahin. itana hi yad hai ki das-barah panne das minat men likh dale the. sambhav hota to main yahi sari baten tar se bhejata.   tin din mainne badi vyagrata ke sath kate. usaka keval anuman kiya ja sakata hai. sochata, tara hamen apane man men kitana nich samajh rahi hogi. kee bar ji men aya ki chalakar usake pairon par gir panoon aur kahoon – ‘ devi, mera aparadh kshama karo chacha sahab ke kathor vyavahar ki paravah n karo main tumhara tha aur tumhara hoon. chacha sahab mujhase bigad jayn, pitaji ghar se nikal den, mujhe kisi ki parava nahin hai; lekin tumhen khokar mera jivan hi kho jayaga.‘ tisare din patr ka javab aya. rahi-sahi asha bhi toot gayi. vahi javab tha jisaki mujhe shnka thi. likha tha --‘bhaee sahab mere poojy hain. unhonne jo nishchay kiya hai, usake viruddh main ek shabd bhi munh se nahin nikal sakata aur tumhare lie bhi yahi uchit hai ki unhen naraz n karo.‘ mainne us patr ko phadakar pairon se kuchal diya aur usi vakt vimal baboo ke ghar ki taraph chala. ah ! us vakt agar koee mera rasta rok leta, mujhe dhamakata ki udhar mat jao, to main vimal baboo ke pas jakar hi dam leta aur aj mera jivan kuchh aur hi hota; par vahan mana karane vala kaun baitha tha. kuchh door chalakar himmat har baitha. laut pada. kah nahin sakata, kya sochakar lauta. chacha sahab ki aprasannata ka mujhe ratti-bhar bhi bhay n tha. unaki ab mere dil men jara bhi ijjat n thi. main unaki sari sampatti ko thukara dene ko taiyar tha. pitaji ke naraz ho jane ka bhi dar n tha. snkoch keval yah tha qaun munh lekar jaoon ! akhir main unhin chacha ka bhatija to hoon. vimal baboo mujhase mukhatib n hue ya jate-hi-jate dutkar diya, to mere lie doob marane ke siva aur kya rah jayaga ? sabase badi shnka yah thi ki kahin tara hi mera tiraskar kar baithe to meri kya gati hogi. hay ! anday tara ! nishthur tara ! abodha tara ! agar toone us vakt do shabd likhakar mujhe tasalli de di hoti, to aj mera jivan kitana sukhamay hota. tere maun ne mujhe matiyamet kar diya sada ke lie ! ah, sada ke lie.   tin din phir mainne angaron par lot-lotakar kate. than liya tha ki ab kisi se n miloonga. sara snsar mujhe apana shatru-sa dikhata tha. tara par bhi krodh ata tha. chacha sahab ki to soorat se mujhe ghrina ho gayi thi; magar tisare din sham ko chachaji ka rukka pahuncha, mujhase akar mil jao. ji men to aya, likh doon, mera apase koee sambandh nahin, ap samajh lijie, main mar gaya. magar phir unake sneh aur upakaron ki yad a gayi. khari-khari sunane ka bhi achchha avasar mil raha tha. hriday men yuddh ka nasha aur josh bhare hue main chachaji ki seva men pahunch gaya. chachaji ne mujhe sir se pair tak dekhakar kaha, kya ajakal tumhari tabiyat achchhi nahin hai ? aj rayasahab sitaram tashariph laye the. tumase kuchh baten karana chahate hain. kal sabere mauqa mile, to chale ana ya tumhen lautane ki jaldi n ho, to main isi vakt bula bhejoon. main samajh to gaya ki yah rayasahab kaun hain; lekin anajan banakar bola, ‘ yah rayasahab kaun hain ? mera to unase parichay nahin hai.‘ chachaji ne laparavahi se kaha, ‘aji, yah vahi mahashay hain, jo tumhare byah ke lie ghere hue hain. shahar ke rees aur kulin adami hain. ladaki bhi bahut achchhi hai. kam-se-kam tara se kee guni achchhi. mainne han kar liya hai. tumhen bhi jo baten poochhani hon, unase poochh lo. ‘ mainne avesh ke umadate hue toofan ko rokakar kaha, ‘apane nahak hanki. main apana vivah nahin karana chahata.‘ chachaji ne meri taraph ankhen phadakar kaha, ‘kyon ?’ mainne usi nirbhikata se javab diya –‘isilie ki main is vishay men svadhin rahana chahata hoon.‘ chacha sahab ne jara narm hokar kaha, ‘main apani bat de chuka hoon, kya tumhen isaka kuchh khayal nahin hai ?’ mainne uddandata se javab diya. ‘jo bat paison par bikati hai, usake lie  main apani zindagi nahin kharab kar sakata.‘ chacha sahab ne gambhir bhav se kaha, ‘yah tumhara akhiri phaisala hai ?’ 'ji han, akhiri.' 'pachhatana padega.' 'ap isaki chinta n karen. apako kasht dene n aoonga.' 'achchhi bat hai.' yah kahakar vah uthe aur andar chale gaye. main kamare se nikala aur bairak ki taraph chala. sari prithvi chakkar kha rahi thi, asaman nach raha tha aur meri deh hava men udi jati thi. maloom hota tha, pairon ke niche ki jamin hai hi nahin. bairak men pahunchakar main palng par let gaya aur phoot-phootakar rone laga. man-bap, chacha-chachi, dhan-daulat, sabakuchh hote hue bhi main anath tha. uph ! kitana nirday aghat tha !   sabere hamare rejiment ko deharadoon jane ka hukm hua. mujhe ankhen-si mil gayin. ab lakhanoo kate khata tha. usake gali-koochon tak se ghrina ho gayi thi. ek bar ji men aya, chalakar tara se mil loon; magar phir vahi shnka huee qahin vah mukhatib n huee to ? vimal baboo is dasha men bhi mujhase utana hi sneh dikhayenge, jitana ab tak dikhate aye hain, isaka main nishchay n kar saka. pahale main ek dhani parivar ka dipak tha, ab ek anath yuvak, jise majoori ke siva aur koee avalamb nahin tha. deharadoon men agar kuchh din main shanti se rahata, to sambhav tha, mera ahat hriday snbhal jata aur main vimal baboo ko mana leta; lekin vahan pahunche ek saptah bhi n hua tha ki mujhe tara ka patr mil gaya. pate ko dekhakar mere hath kanpane lage. samast deh men knpan-sa hone laga. shayad sher ko samane dekhakar main itana bhayabhit n hota. himmat hi n padati thi ki use kholoon. vahi likhavat thi, vahi motiyon ki ladi, jise dekhakar mere lochan tript-se ho jate the, jise choomata tha aur hriday se lagata tha, vahi kale akshar aj naginon se bhi zyada daravane maloom hote the. anuman kar raha tha ki usane kya likha hoga; par anuman ki door tak daud bhi patr ke vishay tak n pahunch saki. akhir, ek bar kaleja mazaboot karake mainne patr khol dala. dekhate hi ankhon men andhera chha gaya. maloom hua, kisi ne shisha pighalakar pila diya. tara ka vivah tay ho gaya tha. shadi hone men kul chaubis ghnte baki the. usane mujhase apani bhoolon ke lie kshama mangi thi aur vinati ki thi ki – ‘mujhe bhula mat dena. patr ka antim vaky padhakar meri ankhon se ansuon ki jhadi lag gayi. likha tha yah antim pyar lo. ab aj se mere aur tumhare bich men keval maitri ka nata hai. magar kuchh aur samajhoon to vah apane pati ke sath anyay hoga, jise shayad tum sabase zyada napasnd karoge. bas isase adhik aur n likhoongi. bahut achchha hua ki tum yahan se chale gaye. tum yahan rahate, to tumhen bhi du:kh hota aur mujhe bhi. magar pyare ! apani is abhagini tara ko bhool n jana. tumase yahi antim nivedan hai.t   main patr ko hath men liye-liye let gaya. maloom hota tha, chhati phat jayagi ! bhagavanh, ab kya karoon ? jab tak main lakhanoo pahunchoonga, barat dvar par a chuki hogi, yah nishchay tha. lekin tara ke antim darshan karane ki prabal ichchha ko main kisi tarah n rok sakata tha. vahi ab jivan ki antim lalasa thi. mainne jakar kamanding aphisar se kaha, ‘mujhe ek bade zaroori kam se lakhanoo jana hai. tin din ki chhutti chahata hoon.‘ sahab ne kaha, ‘abhi chhutti nahin mil sakati. ‘ 'mera jana zaroori hai.' 'tum nahin ja sakate.' 'main kisi tarah nahin ruk sakata.' 'tum kisi tarah nahin ja sakate.'   mainne aur adhik agrah n kiya. vahan se chala aya. rat ki gadi se lakhanoo jane ka nishchay kar liya. kort-marshal ka ab mujhe jara bhi dar n tha. jab main lakhanoo pahuncha, to sham ho gayi thi. kuchh der tak main pletapharm se door khada khoob andhera ho jane ka intajar karata raha. tab apani kismat ke natak ka sabase bhishan kand dekhane chala. barat dvar par a gayi thi. gais ki roshani ho rahi thi. barati log jama the. hamare makan ki chhat tara ki chhat se mili huee thi. rasta maradane kamare ki bagal se tha. chacha sahab shayad kahin sair karane gaye hue the. naukar-chakar sab barat ki bahar dekh rahe the. main chupake se jine par chadha aur chhat par ja pahuncha. vahan us vakt bilakul sannata tha. use dekhakar mera dil bhar aya. hay ! yahi vah sthan hai, jahan hamane prem ke anand uthaye the. yahin main tara ke sath baithakar zindagi ke manasoobe bandhata tha ! yahi sthan meri ashaon ka svarg aur mere jivan ka tirth tha. is zamin ka ek-ek anu mere lie madhur-smritiyon se pavitr tha. par hay ! mere hriday ki bhanti aj vah bhi oojad, sunasan, andhera tha.l   main usi zamin se lipatakar khoob roya, yahan tak ki hichakiyan bndh gayin. kash ! us vakt tara vahan a jati, to main usake charanon par sir rakhakar hamesha ke lie so jata ! mujhe aisa bhasit hota tha ki tara ki pavitr atma meri dasha par ro rahi hai. aj bhi tara yahan zaroor ayi hogi. shayad isi zamin par lipatakar vah bhi royi hogi. us bhoomi se usake sugandhit keshon ki mahak a rahi thi. mainne jeb se roomal nikala aur vahan ki dhool jama karane laga. ek kshan men mainne sari chhat saf kar dali aur apani abhilashaon ki is rakh ko hath men liye ghanton roya. yahi mere prem ka puraskar hai, yahi meri upasana ka varadan hai, yahi mere jivan ki vibhooti hai. hay ri durasha ! niche vivah ke snskar ho rahe the. thik adhi rat ke samay vadhoo mandap ke niche ayi, ab bhanvaren hongi. main chhat ke kinare chala aya aur vah marmantak drishy dekhane laga. bas, yahi maloom ho raha tha ki koee hriday ke tukade kiye dalata hai. ashchary hai, meri chhati kyon n phat gayi, meri ankhen kyon n nikal padin. vah mandap mere lie ek chita thi, jisamen vah sabakuchh, jis par mere jivan ka adhar tha, jala ja raha tha.

  bhanvaren samapt ho gayin to main kothe se utara. ab kya baki tha ?chita ki rakh bhi jalamagn ho chuki thi. dil ko thame, vedana se tadapata hua, jine ke dvar tak aya; magar dvar bahar se band tha. ab kya ho ? ulte panv lauta. ab tara ke angan se hokar jane ke siva doosara rasta n tha. mainne socha, is jamaghat men mujhe kaun pahachanata hai, nikal jaoonga. lekin jyonhi angan men pahuncha, tara ki mataji ki nigah pad gayi. chaunkakar bolin, ‘qaun, krishna baboo ? tum kab aye ? ao, mere kamare men ao. tumhare chacha sahab ke bhay se hamane tumhen nyauta nahin bheja. tara prat:kal vida ho jayagi. ao, usase mil lo. din-bhar se tumhari rat laga rahi hai.‘ yah kahate hue unhonne mera bajoo pakad liya aur mujhe khinchate hue apane kamare men le gayin. phir poochha, ‘apane ghar se hote hue aye ho n ?’ mainne kaha, ‘mera ghar yahan kahan hai ?’ 'kyon, tumhare chacha sahab nahin hain ?' 'han, chacha sahab ka ghar hai, mera ghar ab kahin nahin hai. banane ki kabhi asha thi, par ap logon ne vah bhi tod di.' 'hamara isamen kya dosh tha bhaiya ? ladaki ka byah to kahin-n-kahin karana tha. tumhare chachaji ne to hamen mnjhadhar men chhod diya tha. bhagavanh hi ne ubara. kya abhi steshan se chale a rahe ho ? tab to abhi kuchh khaya bhi n hoga.' 'han, thoda-sa zahar lakar dijie, yahi mere lie sabase achchhi dava hai.' vriddha vismit hokar munh takane lagi. mujhe tara se kitana prem tha, vah bechari kya janati thi ? mainne usi virakti ke sath phir kaha, ‘zab ap logon ne mujhe mar dalane hi ka nishchay kar liya, to ab der kyon karati hain ? ap mere sath yah daga karengi yah main n samajhata tha. khair, jo hua, achchha hi hua. chacha aur bap ki ankhon se girakar main shayad apaki ankhon men bhi n jnchata. budhiya ne meri taraph shikayat ki najaron se dekhakar kaha, tum hamako itana svarthi samajhate ho, beta.‘ mainne jale hue hriday se kaha, ‘ab tak to n samajhata tha lekin paristhiti ne aisa samajhane ko majaboor kiya. mere khoon ka pyasa dushman bhi mere oopar isase ghatak var n kar sakata. mera khoon ap hi ki garadan par hoga.‘ 'tumhare chachaji ne hi to inkar kar diya ?' 'ap logon ne mujhase bhi kuchh poochha,, mujhase bhi kuchh kaha,mujhe bhi kuchh kahane ka avasar diya ? apane to aisi nigahen pherin jaise ap dil se yahi chahati thin. magar ab apase shikayat kyon karoon ? tara khush rahe, mere lie yahi bahut hai.' 'to beta, tumane bhi to kuchh nahin likha; agar tum ek puraja bhi likh dete, to hamen taskin ho jati. hamen kya maloom tha ki tum tara ko itana pyar karate ho. hamase zaroor bhool huee; magar usase badi bhool tumase huee. ab mujhe maloom hua ki tara kyon barabar dakiye ko poochhati rahati thi. abhi kal vah din-bhar dakiye ki rah dekhati rahi. jab tumhara koee khat nahin aya, tab vah nirash ho gayi. bula doon use ? milana chahate ho ?' mainne charapaee se uthakar kaha, ‘nahin-nahin, use mat bulaie. main ab use nahin dekh sakata. use dekhakar main n-jane kya kar baithoon.‘ yah kahata hua main chal pada. tara ki man ne kee bar pukara par mainne pichhe phir kar bhi n dekha.   yah hai mujh nirash ki kahani. ise aj das sal gujar gaye. in das salon men mere oopar jo kuchh biti, use main hi janata hoon. kee-kee din mujhe nirahar rahana pada hai. fauj se to usake tisare hi din nikal diya gaya tha. ab mare-mare phirane ke siva mujhe koee kam nahin. pahale to kam milata hi nahin aur agar mil bhi gaya, to main tikata nahin. zindagi pahad ho gayi hai. kisi bat ki ruchi nahin rahi. adami ki soorat se door bhagata hoon.  tara prasann hai. tin-char sal hue, ek bar main usake ghar gaya tha. usake svami ne bahut agrah karake bulaya tha. bahut kasamen dilayin. majaboor hokar gaya. vah kali ab khilakar phool ho gayi hai. tara mere samane ayi. usaka pati bhi baitha hua tha. main usaki taraph tak n saka. usane mere pair khinch liye. mere munh se ek shabd bhi n nikala. agar tara dukhi hoti, kasht men hoti, phatehalon men hoti, to main us par bali ho jata; par sampann, saras, vikasit tara meri snvedana ke yogy n thi. main is kutil vichar ko n rok saka qitani nishthurata ! kitani bevaphaee ! sham ko main udas baitha vahan jane par pachhata raha tha ki tara ka pati akar mere pas baith gaya aur muskarakar bola, ‘babooji, mujhe yah sunakar khed hua ki tara se mere vivah ho jane ka apako bada sadama hua. tara-jaisi ramani shayad devataon ko bhi svarthi bana deti; lekin main apase sach kahata hoon, agar main janata ki apako usase itana prem hai, to main haragij apaki rah ka kanta n banata. shok yahi hai ki mujhe bahut pichhe maloom hua. tara mujhase apaki prem-katha kah chuki hai.‘ mainne muskarakar kaha, ‘tab to apako meri soorat se ghrina hogi.‘ usane josh se kaha, ‘isake pratikool main apaka abhari hoon. prem ka aisa pavitr, aisa ujjval adarsh apane usake samane rakha. vah apako ab bhi usi muhabbat se yad karati hai. shayad koee din aisa nahin jata ki apaka zikr n karati ho. apake prem ko vah apani zindagi ki sabase pyari chiz samajhati hai. ap shayad samajhate hon ki un dinon ko yad karake use du:kh hota hoga. bilkul nahin, vahi usake jivan ki sabase madhur smritiyan hain. vah kahati hai, mainne apane krishna ko tumamen paya hai. mere lie itana hi kafi hai.

tika tippani aur sndarbh


bahari kadiyan

snbndhit lekh


varnamala kramanusar lekh khoj

a   a    i    ee    u    oo    e    ai    o   au    an    k   kh    g    gh    n    ch    chh    j    jh    n    t    th    d   dh    n    t    th    d    dh    n    p    ph    b    bh    m    y    r    l    v    sh    sh    s    h    ksh    tr    gy    ri    ri    aau    shr   aah