प्रतिज्ञा उपन्यास भाग-9

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is lekh ka punarikshan evan sampadan hona avashyak hai. ap isamean sahayata kar sakate haian. "sujhav"

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sa diyaan lauta kar aur kamalaprasad ko aprasann karake bhi poorna ka manorath poora n ho saka. vah us sandeh ko jara bhi n door kar saki, jo sumitra ke hriday par kisi hiansak pashu ki bhaanti aroodh ho gaya tha. bechari donoan taraph se mari gee. kamalaprasad to naraj ho hi gaya tha, sumitra ne bhi muanh phula liya. poorna ne kee bar idhar-udhar ki batean karake usaka man bahalane ki cheshta ki; par jab sumitra ki tyoriyaan badal geean; aur usane jhi dak kar kah diya - is vakt mujhase kuchh n kaho poorna, mujhe koee bat nahian suhati. maian janm se hi abhagini hooan, nahian to is ghar mean ati hi kyoan? tum ati hi kyoan! tum aeean, to samajhi thi aur kuchh n hoga, to rona hi suna dooangi, par bat kuchh aur hi ho gee. tumhara koee dosh nahian hai, yah to sab mere bhagy ka dosh hai. is vakt jao, mujhe jara ekaant mean ro lene do - tab poorna ko vahaan se uth jane ke siva aur kuchh soojh n p da. vah dhire se uth kar dabe paanv apane kamare mean chali gee. sumitra ekaant mean roee ho, ya n roee ho; par poorna apane durbhagy par ghantoan roti rahi. abhi tak sumitra ko prasann karane ki cheshta mean vah is durghatana ki kuchh vivechana kar n saki thi. ab aankhoan mean aansuoan ki b di-b di booandean girati huee vah in sari batoan ki man-hi-man alochana karane lagi. kamalaprasad kya vastav mean ek sa di usake lie lae the? kyoan lae the? ek din ko chho d kar to vah phir kabhi kamalaprasad se boli tak nahian thi. us din bhi vah svayan kuchh n boli thi. kamalaprasad ki hi batean sun rahi thi. haan, usase agar bhool huee, to yahi ki vah vahaan ane par raji ho gee; lekin karati kya; aur avalanb hi kya tha? koee age-pichhe najar bhi to nahian ata tha! akhir jab inhian logoan ka diya khati thi,to yahaan ane mean kaun-si badha thi? jab se vah yahaan aee, usane kabhi kamalaprasad se batachit nahian ki. phir kamalaprasad ne usake lie reshami sa di kyoan li? vah to ek hi kripan haian, udarata unamean kahaan se a gee? sumitra ne bhi to sa diyaan n maangi thian. agar usake lie sa di lani thi, to mere lie lane ki kya zaroorat thi? maian usaki nanad nahian, devarani nahian, jethani nahian, keval asarait hooan.

yah sochate-sochate sahasa poorna ko ek aisi bat soojh gee, jisaki sanbhavana ki vah kabhi kalpana bhi nahian kar saki thi. vah aisi kaanp uthi, mano koee bhayankar jantu samane a gaya ho. usaka sara aantahkaran, sari atma mano aandhakar shoony mean parinat ho gee - jaise ek vishal bhavan usake oopar gir p da ho. kamalaprasad usi ke lie to sa di nahian lae? aur sumitra ko kisi prakar sanshay n ho, isalie vaisi hi ek sa di usake lie bhi lete ae haian? agar yah bat hai to mahanh anarth ho gaya. aisi dasha mean kya vah ek kshan bhi is ghar mean rah sakati hai? vah mazadoori karegi, ata pisegi, kap de siegi, bhikh maangegi, par yahaan n rahegi. yahi sandeh itane dinoan sumitra ko usaki saheli n banae hue tha? yadi aisa tha, to sumitra ne use spasht kyoan n kah diya, aur kya pahale hi din se use bina kisi karan ke yah sandeh ho gaya? kya sumitra ne mere yahaan ane ka ashay hi kutsit samajha? kya usake vichar mean maian prem-kri da karane hi ke lie aee aur laee gee? isake age poorna aur kuchh soch n saki, lanbi, thandi gahari saans khianch kar vah pharsh par let gee, mano yamaraj ko ane ka nimantran de rahi ho. haan bhagavan! vaidhavy kya kalank ka doosara nam hai?

lekin is ghar ko tyag dene ka sankalp karake bhi poorna nikal n saki? kahaan jaegi? ja hi kahaan sakati hai? itani jaldi chala jana kya is laanchhan ko aur bhi sudridh n kar dega. vidhava par dosharopan karana kitana asan hai. janata ko usake vishay mean nichi-se-nichi dharana karate der nahian lagati, mano kuvasana hi vaidhavy ki svabhavik vritti hai, mano vidhava ho jana man ki sari durvasanaoan, sari durbalataoan ka um d ana hai. poorna keval karavat badal kar rah gee.

bhojan karane jate samay sumitra poorna ko sath le liya karati thi. aj bhi usane a kar kamare ke dvar se pukara. poorna ne b di namrata se kaha - 'bahan, aj to mujhe bhookh nahian hai. sumitra ne phir agrah nahian kiya, chali gee.'

barah baje ke pahale to kamalaprasad kabhi aandar sone n ate, lekin aj ek baj gaya, do baj ge, phir bhi unaki ahat n mili. yahaan tak ki tin baje ke bad usake kanoan mean dvar band hone ki avaz sunaee p di. sumitra ne aandar se kiva d band kar lie the. kadachit ab use bhi asha n rahi, par poorna abhi tak pratiksha kar rahi thi. yahaan tak ki shesh rat bhi iantazar mean kat gee. kamalaprasad nahian ae.

ab samasya jatil ho gee. sare ghar mean isaki charcha hogi. jitane muanh haian, utani hi batean hoangi, aur pratyek mukh se usaka roop aur akar kuchh b da ho kar hi nikalega. un rahasyamay kanaphusakiyoan aur sanketoan ki kalpana karake to usaka hriday mano baith gaya. usane man-hi-man eeshvar se prarthana ki - bhagavan tumhian ab mere avalanb ho, meri laj ab tumhare hi hath hai.'

poorna sare din kamalaprasad se do-char batean karane ka avasar khojati rahi, par vah ghar mean ae hi nahian aur mardani baithak mean vah svayan sankoch-vash n ja saki. aj ichchha n rahate hue bhi use bhojan karana p da. upavas karake logoan ko manamani alochanaean karane ka avasar vah kyoan deti?

yadyapi sumitra ne in do dinoan se usaki or aankh utha kar dekha bhi nahian, kiantu aj sandhya samay poorna usake pas ja kar baith gee. sumitra ne kaha - 'ao bahan, baitho. maianne to aj apane dada ji ko likh diya hai ki a kar mujhe le jaean. yahaan rahate-rahate ji ub gaya hai.'

poorna ne muskara kar kaha - 'maian chalooangi, yahaan akeli kaise rahooangi?'

sumitra - 'nahian, dillagi nahian karati bahan. yahaan ae bahut din ho ge, ab ji nahian lagata. kal mahashay rat bhar gayab rahe. shayad samajhate hoange ki manane ati hogi. meri bala jati. maianne aandar se dvar band kar lie.'

poorna ne bat banaee - 'bechare a kar laut ge hoange.'

sumitra - 'maian so tho de hi gee thi. vah idhar ae hi nahian samajha hoga - lauandi mana kar le jaegi. yahaan kise garaj p di thi.'

poorna - 'mana lene mean koee b di hani to n thi?'

sumitra - 'kuchh nahian, labh hi labh tha. unake ate hi charoan padarth hath baandhe samane a jate, yahi n.'

poorna - 'tum to hansi u dati ho. pati kisi karan rooth jae, to kya use manana stri ka dharm nahian hai?'

sumitra - 'maian to ap hi kahati hooan, bhaee. stri purush ki jooti ke siva aur hai hi kya? purush chahe jaisa ho - chor ho, thag ho, vyabhichari ho, sharabi ho, stri ka dharm hai ki usaki charan-raj dho-dho kar pie? maianne kaun-sa aparadh kiya tha, jo unhean manane jati, jara yah to sunooan?'

poorna - 'tumhian apane dil se socho.'

sumitra - 'khoob soch liya hai. ap paise ki chiz to kabhi bhool kar bhi n lae. das-paanch rupe to kee bar maangane par milate haian. do-do reshami sa diyaan lane ki kaise himmat p d gee? isamean kya rahasy hai, itana tum samajh sakati ho. ab thik ho jaeange. poochho, agar aise hi b de chhaila ho, to bazar mean kyoan nahian muanh kala karate? ya ghar mean kanpa lagane ke shikari ho. mujhe pahale hi se shanka thi aur kal to unhoanne apane man ka bhav prakat hi kar diya.'

poorna ne jara bhauhean chadha kar kaha - 'bahan, tum kaisi batean karati ho? ek to brahmani, doosare vidhava, phir nate se bahan, mujhe vah kya kudrishti se dekheange? phir unaka kabhi aisa svabhav nahian raha.'

sumitra pan lagati huee boli - 'svabhav ki n kaho, poorna. svabhav kisi ke mathe par nahian likha hota. jinhean tum b da sanyami samajhati ho, vah chhipe rustam hote haian. unaka tir maidan mean nahian, ghar mean chalata hai, magar haan, inamean ek bat achchhi hai. agar aj bimar p d jaooan, to sara krodh hava ho jae. dau de chale aean, phir dutkaro bhi to n hatean.'

poorna - 'to aj kyoan nahian bimar p d jatian.'

sumitra- 'jara do-char din jala to looan! akele lala ko niand nahian ati, karavatean badal kar savera karate hoange. isi se mujhe jane nahian dete.'

poorna - 'b di nirdayi ho bahan, aj chali jana, tumhean meri kasam.'

par sumitra itani asani se mananevali n thi. aj ki rat bhi yoan hi gujar gee. poorna sari rat ahat leti rahi. kamalaprasad n ae. isi tarah kee din gujar ge. sumitra ka ab kamalaprasad ki charcha karate din bitata tha. unaki sari buraiyaan use vistrit hoti jati thian - sare gile aur shikave bhoolate jate the. unaki vah snehamayi batean yad kar karake rotian thi, par abhi tak man ka bandhan n toota tha. kshudha se vyakul hone par bhi kya kisi ke samane hath phailana sahaj hai? ramani ka hriday apani parajay svikar n kar sakata tha.

das-barah din bit ge the. ek din adhi rat ke bad poorna ko sumitra ke kamare ka dvar khulane ki ahat mili. usane samajha, shayad kamalaprasad ae haian. apane dvar par kh di ho kar jhaankane lagi. sumitra apane kamare se dabe paanv nikal kar idhar-udhar sashank netroan se takati, mardane kamare ki or chali ja rahi thi. poorna samajh gee, aj ramani ka man toot gaya. bat thik thi. sumitra ne aj pati ko mana lane ka sankalp kar liya tha. vah kamare se nikali, aangan ko bhi par kiya, dalan se bhi nikal gee, pati-dvar par bhi ja pahuanchi. vahaan vah ek kshan tak kh di soch rahi thi, kaise pukarooan? sahasa kamalaprasad ke khaansane ki avaz sun kar vah bhagi, betahasha bhagi, aur apane kamare mean a kar hi rooki. usaka prem-pi dit hriday man ka khilauna bana hua tha. ramani ka man ajey hai, amar hai, anant hai.

poorna abhi tak dvar par kh di thi. use is samay apane saubhagy ke dinoan ki ek ghatana yad a rahi thi, jab vah kee din ke man ke bad apane pati ko manane gee thi aur dvar se hi laut aee thi. kya sumitra bhi dvar par hi se to n laut aegi? vah abhi yahi soch rahi thi ki sumitra aandar ati huee dikhaee di. use jo sanshay hua tha, vahi hua. poorna ke ji mean aya ki ja kar sumitra se poochhe, kya hua. tum unase kuchh bolian ya bahar hi se laut aee, par is dasha mean sumitra se kuchh poochhana uchit n jan p da. sumitra ne kamare mean jate hi dipak bujha diya, kamara band kar liya aur so rahi.

kiantu poorna abhi tak dvar par kh di thi. sumitra ki viyog-vyatha kitani duahsah ho rahi thi, yah soch kar usaka komal hriday dravit ho gaya. kya is avasar par usaka kuchh bhi uttaradayitv n tha? kya is bhaanti tatasth rah kar tamasha dekhana hi usaka kartavy tha? is sari manalila ka mool karan to yahi tha, tab vah kya shaantachitt se do premiyoan ko viyogagni mean jalate dekh sakati thi? kadapi nahian. isake pahale bhi kee bar usake ji mean aya tha ki kamalaprasad ko samajha-bujha kar shaant kar de, lekin kitani hi shankaean usaka rasta rok kar kh di ho gee thi. aj karuna ne un shankaoan ka shaman kar diya. vah kamalaprasad ko manane chali. usake man mean kisi prakar ka sandeh n tha. kamalaprasad ko vah shuroo se hi apana b da bhaee samajhati a rahi thi, bhaiya kah kar pukarati bhi thi. phir use unake kamare mean jane ki zaroorat hi kya thi? vah kamare ke dvar par kh di ho kar unhean pukaregi, aur kahegi - bhabhi ko jvar ho aya hai, ap jara aandar chale aie. bas, yah khabar pate hi kamalaprasad dau de aandar chale jaeange, isamean use leshamatr bhi sandeh nahian tha. tin sal ke vaivahik jivan ka anubhav hone par bhi purush-sansar se anabhijn thi. apane mama ke chhote-se gaanv mean usaka bal-jivan bita tha. vahaan sara gaanv use bahan ya beti kahata tha. us kutsit vasanaoan se rahit sansar mean vah svachhand roop se khet, khalihan mean vichara karati thi. vivah bhi aise purush se hua, jo javan ho kar bhi balak tha, jo itana lajjashil tha ki yadi muhalle ki koee stri ghar a jati, to aandar qadam n rakhata. vah apane kamare se nikali aur mardane kamare ke dvar par ja kar dhire se kiva d par thapaki di. bhay to use yah tha ki kamalaprasad ki niand mushkil se tootegi, lekin vahaan niand kahaan? ahat pate hi kamalaprasad ne dvar khol diya aur poorna ko dekhakar kautoohal se bola - 'kya hai poorna, ao baitho.'

poorna ne sumitra ki bimari ki soochana n di, kyoanki jhooth bolane ki usaki adat n thi, ek kshan tak vah anishchit dasha mean kh di rahi. koee bat n soojhati thi. aant mean boli - 'kya ap sumitra se roothe haian? vah bechari manane aee thi tis par bhi ap n ge.'

kamalaprasad ne vismit ho kar kaha - 'manane aee thian, sumitra? jhoothi bat. mujhe koee manane nahian aya tha. manane hi kyoan lagi. jisase prem hota hai, use manaya jata hai. maian to mar bhi jaooan, to kisi ko ranj n ho. haan, maan-bap ro leange. sumitra mujhe kyoan manane lagi. kya tumase kahati thi?'

poorna ko bhi ashchary hua. sumitra kahaan aee thi aur kyoan laut gee? boli - 'maianne abhi unhean yahaan ate aur idhar se jate dekha hai. maianne samajha, shayad apake pas aee hoan. is tarah kab tak roothe rahiega. bechari rat-din roti rahati hai.'

kamalaprasad ne mano yah bat nahian suni. samip a kar bole - 'yahaan kab tak kh di rahogi. aandar ao, tumase kuchh kahana hai.'

yah kahate-kahate usane poorna ki kalaee pak d kar aandar khianch liya aur dvar ki sitakani laga di. poorna ka kaleja dhak-dhak karane laga. us avesh se bhare hue, kathor, ugr-sparsh ne mano sarp ke saman use das liya. sari karmeandriyaan shithil p d geean. thar-thar kaanpati huee vah dvar se chipat kar kh di ho gee.

kamalaprasad usaki ghabarahat dekh kar palang par ja baitha aur ashvasan deta hua bola - 'daro mat poorna, aram se baitho maian bhi adami hooan, koee katoo nahian hooan. akhir mujhase kyoan itani bhagi-bhagi phirati ho? mujhase do bat karana bhi tumhean nahian bhata. tumane us din sa di lauta di, janati ho mujhe kitana duahkh hua?'

'to aur kya karati? sumitra apane dil mean kya sochati?'

'kamalaprasad ne yah bat n suni. usaki atur drishti poorna ke raktahin mukhamandal par jami huee thi. usake hriday mean kamavasana ki prachand jvala dahak uthi. usaki sari cheshta, sari chetanata, sari pravritti ek vichitr hiansa ke bhav se aandolit ho uthi. hiansak pashuoan ki aankhoan mean shikar karate samay jo sphoorti jhalak uthati hai, kuchh vaisi hi sphoorti kamalaprasad ki aankhoan mean jhalak uthi. vah palang se utha aur donoan hath khole hue poorna ki or badha. ab tak poorna bhay se kaanp rahi thi. kamalaprasad ko apani or ate dekh kar usane gardan utha kar agney netroan se usaki or dekha. usaki drishti mean bhishan sankat tatha bhay tha, mano vah kah rahi thi - khabaradar. idhar ek jau-bhar bhi badhe, to ham donoan mean se ek ka aant ho jaega. is samay poorna ko apane hriday mean ek asim shakti ka anubhav ho raha tha, jo sare sansar ki senaoan ko apane pairoan-tale kuchal sakati thi. usaki aankhoan ki vah pradipt jvala, usaki vah bandhi huee mutthiyaan aur tani huee gardan dekh kar kamalaprasad thithak gaya, hosh a ge, ek qadam bhi age badhane ki use himmat n p di. kh de-kh de bola - 'yah roop mat dharan karo, poorna. maian janata hooan ki prem-jaisi vastu chhal-bal se nahian mil sakati, n maian is irade se tumhare nikat a raha tha. maian to keval tumhari kripa-drishti ka abhilashi hooan. jis din se tumhari madhur chhavi dekhi hai, usi din se tumhari upasana kar raha hooan. pashan pratimaoan ki upasana patr-pushp se hoti hai, kiantu tumhari upasana maian aansuoan se karata hooan. maian jhooth nahian kahata poorna. agar is samay tumhara sanket pa jaooan, to apane pranoan ko bhi tumhare charanoan par arpan kar dooan. yahi meri param abhilasha hai. maian bahut chahata hooan ki tumhean bhool jaooan, lekin man kisi tarah nahian manata. avashy hi poorv janm mean tumase mera koee ghanishth sanbandh raha hoga, kadachit us janm mean bhi meri yah lalasa atript hi rahi hogi. tumhare charanoan par gir kar ek bar ro lene ki ichchha se hi maian tumhean laya. bas, yah samajh lo ki mera jivan tumhari daya par nirbhar hai. agar tumhari aankhean meri taraph se yoan hi phiri rahian, to dekh lena, ek din kamalaprasad ki lash ya to isi kamare mean tap dati huee paogi, ya ganga-tat par, mera yah nishchay hai.

poorna ka krodh shaant hua. kaanpate hue svar mean boli - 'babooji, ap mujhase kaisi bat kar rahe haian, apako lajja nahian ati.'

kamalaprasad charapaee par baithata hua bola - 'nahian poorna, mujhe to isamean lajja ki koee bat nahian dikhati. apani isht-devi ki upasana karana kya lajja ki bat hai? prem eeshvariy prerana hai, eeshvariy sandesh hai. prem ke sansar mean adami ki banaee samajik vyavasthaoan ka koee mooly nahian. vivah samaj ke sangathan ki keval ayojana hai. jat-pat keval bhinn-bhinn kam karane vale praniyoan ka samooh hai. kal ke kuchakr ne tumhean ek aisi avastha mean dal diya hai, jisamean prem-sukh ki kalpana karana hi pap samajha jata hai, lekin socho to samaj ka yah kitana b da anyay hai. kya eeshvar ne tumhean isilie banaya hai ki do-tin sal prem ka sukh bhogane ke bad ajivan vaidhavy ki kathor yatana sahati raho. kabhi nahian, eeshvar itana anyayi, itana kroor nahian ho sakata. vasant kumar ji mere param mitr the. aj bhi unaki yad ati hai, to aankhoan mean aansoo bhar jate haian. is samay bhi maian unhean apane samane kh da rakhata hooan tumase unhean bahut prem tha. tumhare sir mean jara bhi pi da hoti thi, to bechare vikal ho jate the. vah tumhean sukh mean madh dena chahate the, chahate the ki tumhean hava ka jhoanka bhi n lage. unhoanne apana jivan hi tumhare lie arpan kar diya tha. roo mat poorna, tumhean jara udas dekh kar unaka kaleja phat jata tha, tumhean rote dekh kar unaki atma ko kitana duahkh hoga, phir yah aj koee nee bat nahian. idhar mahinoan se tumhean rone ke siva doosara kam nahian hai aur nirdayi samaj chahata hai ki tum jivan paryant yoan hi roti raho, tumhare mukh par hasy ki ek rekha bhi n dikhaee de, nahian to anarth ho jaega. tum dushta ho jaogi. us atma ko tumhari yah vyarth ki sadhana dekh kar kitana duahkh hota hoga, isaki kalpana tum kar sakati ho? eeshvar tumhean duahkh ke is apar sagar mean doobane nahian dena chahate. vah tumhean ubarana chahate haian, tumhean jivan ke anand mean magn kar dena chahate haian. yadi unaki prerana n hoti, to mujh jaise durbal manushy ke hriday mean prem ka uday kyoan hota? jisane kisi stri ki or kabhi aankh utha kar nahian dekha, vah aj tumase prem ki bhiksha kyoan maangata hota? mujhe to yah daiv ki spasht prerana maloom ho rahi hai.'

poorna ab tak dvar se chipaki kh di thi. ab dvar se hat kar vah pharsh par baith gee. kamalaprasad par use jo sandeh hua tha, vah ab mitata jata tha vah tanmay ho kar unaki batean sun rahi thi.

kamalaprasad use pharsh par baithate dekh kar utha aur usaka hath pak d kar kursi par bithane ki cheshta karate hue bola - 'nahian-nahian poorna, yah nahian, ho sakata. phir maian bhi zamin par baithooanga. akhir is kursi par baithane mean tumhean kya apatti hai?'

poorna ne apana hath nahian chhu daya, kamalaprasad se use jhijhak bhi nahian huee. yah kahati huee ki babooji, ap b di jidd karate haian, koee mujhe yahaan is tarah baithe dekh le to kya ho - 'vah kursi par baith gee.'

kamalaprasad ka chehara khil utha, bola - 'agar koee kuchh kahe, to usaki moorkhata hai. sumitra ko yahaan baithe dekh kar koee kuchh n kahega, tumhean baithe dekh kar usake hath ap hi chhati par pahuanch jaeange. yah adami ke rache hue svaang haian aur maian inhean kuchh nahian samajhata. jahaan dekho dhakosala, jahaan dekho pakhand. hamara sara jivan pakhandamay ho gaya hai. maian is pakhand ka aant kar dooanga. poorna, maian tumase sach kahata hooan, maianne aj tak kisi stri ki or aankh nahian uthaee. meri nigah mean koee janchati hi n thi, lekin tumhean dekhate hi mere hriday mean ek vichitr aandolan hone laga. maian usi vakt, samajh gaya ki yah eeshvar ki prerana hai. yadi eeshvar ki ichchha n hoti to tum is ghar mean ati hi kyoan? is vakt tumhara yahaan ana bhi eeshvariy prerana hai, isamean leshamatr bhi sandeh n samajhana. ek-se-ek suandariyaan maianne dekhian, magar is chandr mean hriday ko khianchane vali jo shakti hai, vah kisi mean nahian paee.'

yah kah kar kamalaprasad ne poorna ke kapol ko ooangali se sparsh kiya. poorna ka mukh arakt ho gaya, usane jhijhak kar muanh hata liya, par kursi se uthi nahian. yahaan se ab bhagana nahian chahati thi, in batoan ko sun kar usake aantahstal mean aisi gudagudi ho rahi thi, jaisi vivah mandap mean jate samay yuvak ke hriday mean hoti hai.

kamalaprasad ko sahasa sa diyoan ki yad a gee. donoan sa diyaan abhi tak usane sandook mean rakh chho di thian. usane ek sa di nikal kar poorna ke samane rakh di aur kaha - 'dekho, yah vahi sa di hai poorna, us din tumane ise asvikar kar diya tha, aj ise meri khatir se svikar kar lo. ek kshan ke lie ise pahan lo. tumhari yah saphed sa di dekh kar mere hriday mean chot-si lagati hai. maian eeman se kahata hooan, yah tumhare vaste laya tha. sumitra ke man mean koee sandeh n ho, isalie ek aur lani p di. nahian, utha kar rakho mat. keval ek hi kshan ke lie pahan lo. jara maian dekhana chahata hooan ki is rang ki sa di tumhean kitani khilati hai. n manogi to jarbadasti pahana dooanga.'

poorna ne sa di ko hath mean le kar usi ki or takate hue kaha - 'kabhi pahan looangi, itani jaldi kya hai, phir yahaan maian kaise pahanooangi?'

kamalaprasad - 'maian hat jata hooan.'

kamare ke ek taraph chhoti-si kothari thi, usi mean kamalaprasad kabhi-kabhi baith kar padhata tha. usake dvar par chhiant ka ek parada p da hua tha. kamalaprasad parada utha kar us kothari mean chala gaya. par ekaant ho jane par bhi poorna sa di n pahan saki. ichchha pahanane ko thi, par sankoch tha ki kamalaprasad apane dil mean n jane kya ashay samajh baithe.

kamalaprasad ne parade ki a d se kaha - 'pahan chukian? ab bahar nikalooan?'

poorna ne muskara kar kaha - 'haan, pahan chuki; nikalo.'

kamalaprasad ne parada utha kar jhaanka. poorna hans p di. kamalaprasad ne phir parada khianch liya aur usaki a d se bola - 'abaki agar tumane n pahana poorna, to maian a kar jarbadasti pahana dooanga.'

poorna ne sa di pahani to nahian, haan usaka aanchal khol kar sir par rakh liya. samane hi aeena tha, us par usane nigah dali. apani roop-chhata par vah ap hi mohit ho gee. ek kshan ke lie usake man mean glani ka bhav jagrit ho utha. usake marmasthal mean kahian se avaz aee - 'poorna, hosh mean a; kidhar ja rahi hai? vah marg tere lie band hai. too us par qadam nahian rakh sakati. vah sa di ko alag kar dena chahati thi ki sahasa kamalaprasad parade se nikal aya aur bola - 'akhir tumane nahian pahani n? meri itani jara-si bat bhi tum n man saki.'

poorna - 'pahane hue to hooan. ab kaise pahanooan. kaun achchhi lagati hai. meri deh par a kar sa di ki mitti bhi kharab ho gee.'

kamalaprasad ne anurakt netroan se dekh kar kaha - 'jara aine mean to dekh lo.' poorna ne dabi huee nigah aine par dal kar kaha - 'dekh liya. jara bhi achchhi nahian lagati.'

kamalaprasad - 'dipak ki jyoti mat ho gee. vah re eeshvar! tum aisi alokamay chhavi ki rachana kar sakate ho. tumhean dhany hai.'

poorna - 'maian utar kar pheank dooangi.'

kamalaprasad - 'eeshvar ab mera be da kaise par lagega.'

poorna - 'mujhe duba kar.' yah kahate-kahate poorna ki mukh-jyoti malin p d gee poorna ne sa di utar kar alagani par rakh di.'

kamalaprasad ne poochha - 'yahaan kyoan rakhati ho?'

poorna boli - 'aur kahaan le jaooan. apaki itani khatir kar di. eeshvar n jane isaka kya dand deange.'

kamalaprasad - 'eeshvar dand nahian deange, poorna, yah unhian ki ajna hai. tum unaki chianta n karo. kh di kyoan ho. abhi to bahut rat hai, kya abhi se bhag jane ka irada hai.'

poorna ne dvar ke pas ja kar kaha - 'ab jane do babooji, kyoan mera jivan bhrasht karana chahate ho. tum mard ho, tumhare lie sab kuchh maph hai, maian aurat hooan, maian kahaan jaooangi? door tak socho. agar ghar mean jara bhi sunagun ho gee, to janate ho ki meri kya durgati hogi? doob marane ke siva mere lie koee aur upay rah jaega? isaki sochie, ap mere pichhe nirvasit hona pasand kareange? aur phir badanam ho kar, kalankit ho kar jie, to kya jie? nahian baboo ji, mujh par daya kijie. maian to aj mar bhi jaooan, to kisi ki koee hani n hogi, varanh prithvi ka kuchh bojh hi halka ho lekin apaka jivan bahumooly hai. use ap mere lie kyoan badha mean daliega? jyoan hi koee avasar aega, ap hath jha d kar alag ho jaiega, meri kya gati hogi? isaki apako us vakt jara bhi chianta n hogi.'

kamalaprasad ne zor de kar kaha - 'yah kabhi nahian ho sakata poorna, zaroorat p de to tumhare lie pran tak de dooan. jab chahe pariksha le kar dekho.'

poorna - 'babooji, yah sab khali bat-hi-bat hai. isi muhalle mean do-aisi ghatanaean dekh chuki hooan. apako n jane kyoan mere is roop par moh ho gaya hai. apane durbhagy ke siva ise aur kya kahooan? jab tak apaki ichchha hogi, apana man bahalaiega, phir bat bhi n poochhiega, yah sab samajh rahi hooan? eeshvar ko ap bar-bar bich mean ghasit late haian, isaka matalab bhi samajh rahi hooan. eeshvar kisi ko kumarg ki or nahian le jate. ise chahe prem kahie chahe vairagy kahie, lekin hai kumarg hi. maian is dhokhe mean nahian ane ki, aj jo kuchh ho gaya, ho gaya, ab bhool kar bhi meri or aankh n uthaiega, nahian to maian yahaan n rahooangi. yadi kuchh n ho sakega, to doob marooangi. eeandhan n pa kar ag ap-hi-ap bujh jati hai. usamean eeandhan n dalie.'

kamalaprasad ne muanh lataka kar kaha - 'poorna, maian to mar jaooanga. sach kahata hooan, maian zahar kha kar so rahooanga, aur hatya tumhare sir jaegi.'

yah aantim vaky poorna ne suna tha ya nahian, ham nahian kah sakate. usane dvar khola aur aangan ki or chali. kamalaprasad dvar par kh da takata raha. poorna ko rokane ka use sahas n hua. chi diya ek bar dane par a kar phir n jane kya ahat pa kar u d gee thi. itani hi der mean poorna ke manobhavoan mean kitane roopaantar hue, vah kh da yahi sochata raha. vah rosh, phir vah has-vilas, aur aant mean yah virag! yah rahasy usaki samajh mean n ata tha. kya vah chi diya phir dane par giregi? yahi prashn kamalaprasad ke mastishk mean bar-bar uthane laga.

sanbandhit lekh

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